Читать книгу EgreGor - Фируза Акопян - Страница 8

There are two categories of men: some have a second wind after forty, while others become too lazy at this age. I have already had a lot of breath in my years, so I feel free to put myself in the second category. However, there are people who do not let you get bored. These include Vita. In spite of herself, she had taken away my attraction to other women. I was satisfied with her alone, she gave me everything I needed. At that moment, I was already up to my ears in trouble, although I didn’t realize it yet. I was suddenly concerned about where she was and what she was doing. I had a hunch that she had someone besides me, but I didn’t dare ask her openly, because she was honest and would tell the truth, and I might not like the truth. This was the first concession to her.

Our mini-romance was now in its third month. During this time, Vita never took out my brain, everything was calm. We communicated, met, held sessions. I evaluated my attitude to Vita with Maxim Gorky’s phrase: “I don’t seem to need this person, but something keeps him in my head.” I could live without talking to her, but when we met, my brain immediately shut down. Vita gave a feeling of lightness; it was fun and interesting to be with her. At the beginning of our conversation, I never saw her in a bad mood. I didn’t count the occasional lapse in apathy. I’m used to her always being cheerful, no matter what. I fed on her energy. We all know the selfish feeling that draws us to what warms us when we are cold. So it was with Vita. Tired, angry, I changed next to her. So, little by little, I began to get used to it.

One evening Vita came to see me. We sat in the kitchen and drank our usual rum. In her behavior, I tried to find proof that she was still interested in me, that I was the only one she had. Everything seemed to be in order. But at some point, she took out her phone, texted someone, and put the cell phone in her bag. When she went to shower, I acted like a classic jealous woman – I took her phone out of her bag. It was turned off. I still don’t understand why I did it then. I was filled with rage and a sense of ownership. I put the phone back and waited for her to come out of the bathroom.

Vita went out, wrapped in a towel. She noticed my changed mood and looked at me warily.

– Do you have someone else? – I asked.

– Don’t ask questions, the answers to which you will not like, – she said quite calmly and went to the kitchen.

– You’ll tell me! – I grabbed her hand and squeezed it so hard.

– You’re crazy! Since when do you ask me such questions? What’s wrong with you?

– Why did you turn off your phone? – I gave myself up.

– Did you get into my bag? – now the rage was reflected in her face.

– Yes! Got in! Tell me!

– Listen! You have no right to ask me such questions! For an ordinary lover, you take too much on yourself! – she hissed the words very slowly and distinctly.

I was mad with rage, and I grabbed her by the throat and pinned her against the wall. She didn’t even raise her hand to protect herself. Her indifferent gaze disarmed me. I loosened my grip, but kept my hand on her neck. Vita grabbed the end of my shirt with one hand, pulled me to her, and kissed me. Her eyes were triumphant. All my anger found an outlet in sex. I was rude, but Vita didn’t let me know that she didn’t like it. Because she liked it. Now that I think back to that day, I realize that she always had more power over me. She deftly evaded the question and let me know who I was in her life.

After that night, she disappeared again. This time for almost three weeks. The next day, I decided that something needed to change. In the evening, I went to a bar, got drunk, and picked up a girl. Yes, I was taking revenge on Vita and proving my independence to myself. Everyone takes their revenge as best they can. I decided that I should increase the number of mistresses so that I would remain independent. For a week I carried out this plan, proud of myself. I’m a man!