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CHAPTER THREEGOING FOR THE GOLD

Enough About Other People’s Dreams; What About Yours?

No doubt, you have your own dreams. You may be having visions of buying a home, starting a business, or in the very near future, making a million dollars! For now, however, more pressing concerns may include finding a place to stay, a base from which you can transform your dreams into reality. To be sure, you would not be the first person to have come to Canada with the belief that the intelligence, tenacity, maturity, and other personal qualities that made you a success in your country and helped you survive what might have been a treacherous journey to these parts would also help you to succeed. Unfortunately, this has not always been the case. Such overconfidence has been the undoing of many an immigrant. Far too many have been blindsided in the benign looking environment of Canada, forcing them to abandon their dreams and to accept conditions of life that they would never have imagined a few years before. Not taking the time to understand the Canadian system and the underlying rules that govern life can be pricey in the long run. Taking the time to study the lay of the land, so to speak, will save you from the kind of mistakes that have sidelined many and turned them into bitter wrecks with nothing good to say about Canada.

Regardless of the motivation for migration, the excitement of living in Canada may have meant not giving enough thought to what the realities might be. You may have heard only the stories of milk and honey and those about the big, bright, boulder of gold that glistens through the four seasons, beckoning to all. While the potential immigrant might have acquired some information about the target country, there is no guarantee that such information will always match up with the reality. It is no doubt disappointing, for example, for people who envisioned living amiably in a new environment to find that not all neighbours are welcoming and that not everyone is happy to see them around.

Your First Year

Your first year in Canada might be one filled with emotions. On the one hand, you have exciting opportunities and challenges awaiting you, while on the other hand, you might look back with nostalgia on some of the more precious elements you left behind including the positive memories you have of your home country. Even though Canada may have extended a welcoming hand to you, it is possible that as an immigrant you will find yourself “in a social environment that is confusing, frustrating, and challenging. In most cases [immigrants] will find that holding the status of “immigrant” does not enhance their identity nor does it facilitate their ability to integrate into the host society” (Frideres 2002). You might feel that the best way to get a handle on your new life is to ponder about it from the safety of your room, home, or apartment. Whereas back home you may have been a minor celebrity in your neighbourhood, here in Canada you may be invisible even if you are a so-called visible minority! In your home country your brilliance may have blinded your teachers, parents, and friends but in Canada there are times when, in your dealings with people, you might wonder if they are not perhaps questioning your intelligence. Considering that even those who come to Canada with some French or English speaking ability sometimes have communication challenges the problem may be compounded for those who do not have the benefit of speaking one or the other of Canada’s two official languages: English and French. Do not hold yourself back, however, because of uncertainty about your use of one of Canada’s official languages.

It may seem safe to stick close to your own community whether in terms of race, ethnicity, religion or language. This is especially the case for those who have the benefit of a large ethnic community within which they can operate. For example, a Chinese living in Vancouver may be able to interact in the main with people from his or her background. It is possible to visit a Chinese doctor, eat Chinese food, speak Chinese on an almost daily basis and thus feel that there is really no need to interact with other Canadians. Young people, at any rate, sometimes find it much easier to embrace the notion of being Canadian, sometimes even rejecting the norms of their ethnic or national background. Even after you have become a citizen you might still have to answer questions related to your origins. In this matter, some are proud to identify their backgrounds while others might wonder why there is such a great emphasis on people’s origins. After all, aren’t we all now committed to Canada?

Don’t Prejudge

Just as you do not want people to prejudge you, give others the benefit of the doubt. Approach people with a positive expectation and you’re likely to be met with open arms. Making assumptions about people is dangerous. You may have heard stories of prejudice; don’t let that deter you because not everyone is prejudiced. If you need a job, go for it. Do not hold back on the assumption that you might not get it. If you approach any situation with confidence, you increase your chances manifold. A positive attitude is likely to take you much farther in Canada than a negative attitude will. Sometimes, it is possible to win simply by not entertaining the idea of failure. In any case, Canadians are far from being perfect. Thus, in some cases, one has to fight for one’s rights.

Be Aware

In Canada’s politically correct environment one has to continually pay attention to one’s choice of words. Don’t be surprised if someone snarls at you for using the word “disabled,” for example, which you know to be a perfectly good English word. “Physically-challenged” is the politically correct term. To avoid being accused of sexism you might want to say fire fighter instead of fireman, police officer instead of policeman. Resist the urge, however, to say, “person-hole” for manhole. Immerse yourself in your new environment and feel free to debate with other Canadians while remaining sensitive to others’ feelings.

You Can Achieve Your Dreams

Though Canada holds much promise for personal success and achievement, so often, people have come to Canada only to have their grandiose dreams shattered. It is not uncommon to see immigrants who have been in the country for, sometimes upwards of twenty years, feeling bitter at the “system” and at Canadians for erecting so many overt and covert barriers that the immigrant has virtually no chance to transform his dreams into reality. Some give up, cutting down their original vision to size and taking to existing on the back streets of society, as faceless, anonymous drones. Others may keep their hopes alive though the stark gap between their current state and their grandiose dreams may make one question the sanity of holding on to those dreams. There are also those who come with an ironclad will and determination that no matter how long it takes and how many setbacks they face they would achieve their goals. They may go through years of trial and error or if fortunate, find a legitimate shortcut to reaching the goals they have set for themselves. What are the elements that can help an immigrant, new to the land or not, navigate the Canadian social and economic waters in order to arrive safely at the port of personal and professional prosperity? Even under the best of circumstances, personal initiative is necessary. And if you are banging your head against a brick wall, could it be that you have to redirect your efforts? Do you have a strategy for success or are you just drifting along? A person who just drifts along has not much choice about where he or she ends up. You might have to take a more proactive approach or redirect your energies in order to reap the rewards you deserve.

IDA: Renew Your Commitment to Success

Having talent and confidence is not enough. Even education is not always the answer to the achievement of goals though it can make a person more aware and open up opportunities. Not everyone who has come to the country with a degree or a head full of knowledge has been able to transmute such knowledge into personal success, satisfaction, or happiness. Immigrants who have smelled the sweet fragrance of success in their native land may respond with frustration to what may seem like endless roadblocks in Canada. For some, time, the acquisition of knowledge about their environment and a good plan are what may eventually transform their dreams into reality. No matter what skills an immigrant brings to Canada, it is worth noting that the waters here may be completely different from what one might have known in one’s own country. Canadian society, the Canadian waters may seem calm and benign but never forget that still waters run deep. There are such powerful maelstroms as racism and ageism, all of which can render the unprepared paralyzed. How you respond to these unexpected societal traps can be crucial. Some choose to leave while others choose to stick it out and find ways around the challenges. While we may take inspiration from past successes, we cannot rest on our laurels and let the successes of yesteryear lull us into inaction. New environments call for new initiatives. New challenges call for new reserves of determination. And rather than assuming that we know all that there is to know, sometimes, a little bit of humility, taking the Socratic pose, and learning anew what we might have assumed we knew may help us to make new distinctions and to tackle life with a little less dread and a greater chance for success. The key then to sailing smoothly through the Canadian waters is first to be INFORMED, the first point of the IDA principle. Next is to be able to make definite DECISIONS, and finally, to take ACTION.

Be Informed

In order to become well informed, one has to shed one’s coat of pride. It is true that you may have studied about Canada in primary school and followed news about Canada long before coming into the country. Once in the country, this process should not stop. While it is important to observe, it is also necessary to talk to others. While people from a similar background to yours can give you some insights into their personal experiences, it would be a mistake to assume such a one-sided perspective. For every immigrant who rails at the system and complains about how terrible Canada is, you might find another who seems, at least on the surface, to have found the secret to his own personal success within the very same system that is cutting others off at the knees. Rather than getting stuck within one’s community it may be a good idea to seek ideas from different sources. Some immigrant groups have done quite well because they share critical information with people in their circle, thus saving newcomers years of headache. In seeking information, talk to both those who have had challenges and those who have succeeded. Sometimes they’ll be one and the same. It is probably better though to steer clear of those who see no light at the end of the tunnel. Talk to those who have been able to achieve their goals and find out what they may have done to put their dreams and goals on course in spite of roadblocks. Talk with Canadians from different backgrounds; some will go out of their way to help you.

Collect brochures, newsletters, and other pieces of information, and take the time to read them as they may hold key pieces of information that could fill in for you the puzzles and perplexities of being a new immigrant.

Be Decisive

Some immigrants just go with the flow. They accept whatever life throws at them. In some cases, this works quite well. A series of happy coincidences can land someone where he or she wants to be. But one cannot always count on such coincidences. Is it not better to have a solid plan, albeit one that is flexible enough that it can accommodate any interesting detours? For some, working in a factory is the way to go. If they are fortunate enough to land a job in the field of their choice then all that is left is working as hard as they can and advancing through the ranks. But how far can you go on that route? For others, self-employment is the key. In this regard, the range of possibilities is immense. While some are able to transmute business skills into success in Canada, for others, it is necessary to continue the process of learning. Such knowledge can be acquired not only from the Internet but also from books, community colleges, and various government agencies. For still others, however, the best strategy may be committing to an academic path.

Part II of this book provides some tried and tested strategies that can help you succeed in your academic career. More than that the skills presented will help you develop critical thinking skills, which can be beneficial in the world outside of academia. Make it a point to read and reread Part II with a highlighter in hand.

Now, if one makes it one’s goal to be truly well informed it is possible to acquire information to no end. In life we are presented with an array of choices, some good, others bad. We continually have to decide what to do with the plethora of choices we face. And not making a decision also constitutes a decision. It is only by taking the time to reflect on one’s needs that one can make the proper decisions in life. If we come to the decision to do something with our lives, we are energized to direct our activities and to take the necessary steps that would take us inexorably to that end. But we have to decide. Is going to school the best decision we can take now? Or is it better to work for a few years and save some money before taking that step? And if going to school is the goal, which type of school do we want to attend? Can we afford to go back and forth to school? Or are we better off taking a correspondence course? At some point, and the sooner the better, after gathering information, we need to decide what to do with our lives. If we have been well informed it is possible that the direction we take may differ from what we might have considered before coming to Canada. It is also possible that the information we glean from our research would confirm the wisdom of our original plan. Making our decision on a foundation of information rather than whim would make us rest easy as we go about doing what it takes to get us where we want to reach in life.

Take Action

Have you ever had the opportunity to watch a boxer in training for a bout? Okay, if boxing is not up your alley, what about a sprinter or for that matter any serious sportsperson. An athlete who is serious about winning understands the necessity for daily practice. The Japanese have a saying: Keizoku wa chikara nari, which translates to: Persistence is power. Action, therefore, need not be a matter for the moment only but one that is continual. Thus, an athlete might wake up every morning long before the sun is up to practice for several hours. This may be fun in itself but it may also be gruelling, raising periodic doubts as to the wisdom of embarking on what may seem like an elusive quest; and yet the determined person presses on, day after day after day, knowing that the payoff would come handsomely on the day of competition. If you have decided to go to school, do you see the goal of achieving your degree or diploma in the same light as the Olympic-bound athlete? And are you willing to press your pants to the chair and study for several hours each day as part of the preparation towards the achievement of your goal?

Or what if you are unemployed and your immediate goal is to get yourself a job. What kinds of actions are you willing to take each day towards the achievement of your goal? If you feel discouraged at the kind of responses you are getting, do not forget that an athlete in training for a competition may not come out of every training session feeling as good as gold. And yet she presses on. Burn the idea of the need to take continual action into your mind; let it rest on a foundation of informed decision making and the struggle towards personal achievement is already half won.

Operate From a Position of Knowledge

Lack of knowledge creates hesitancy. An army that does not know the capabilities of its opponents might overestimate the enemy’s strength and hold back from making the critical attack. Canada is one of those countries where one can easily be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information available. Almost every piece of information you want has been filed somewhere ready for you to access. Your starting point may be the phone. Practice GOTT: Get On The Telephone. A few carefully placed phone calls are likely to get you whatever information you need. And of course, the Internet is another useful source of information. In some cases, however, it is not enough to practice GOTT. You also have to practice GOYA: Get Off Your Ass (Kennedy 2000). This applies whether you are looking for a job, applying for entry to university, seeking scholarship funds, or thinking of starting a business. The personal contacts you build in the community can all contribute towards the achievement of your goals. It is an illusion that what you know will always get you where you want to go. Unfortunately, sometimes whom you know is just as important as what you know. So get with it – build your contacts. But as you learn from others remember that sometimes in order to get you have to give. So do not be stingy with sharing with others knowledge that you might have accumulated, whether in a particular subject area, experience from traveling or even elements of your culture. There is no better way to build bridges and connections with people than to share with them aspects of your culture – in particular with those who show genuine interest.

Take the High Road

Perhaps out of frustration or under the influence of misguided “friends,” some immigrants find themselves on the wrong side of the law. This does nothing to further the goals for which you might have come to Canada. It is difficult to put your plans into motion when you are behind bars. And make no mistake, no matter how benign you might think you are, there are times when you might be provoked into doing something stupid. For example, how do you react when someone calls you by an ethnic slur? How do you react when people run away from you though in your mind there is no reason for them to? How do you react when people refuse to rent you an apartment or a house? If you have some creative ways of challenging people to come to their senses without resorting to violence all power to you. As a new entrant you might profit from finding out from those who have been around a little longer, what the best course of action is in situations that seem unusual or puzzling to you. You do not want to contribute to whatever negative images people in the mainstream might have of people from your particular background. Do you hear the word restraint? A word to the wise, as the saying goes, is enough.