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THE FIRST BOOK OF HOMER'S ILIAD
ARGUMENT

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Atrides, as the story goes,

Took parson Chrysis by the nose.

Apollo, as the gods all do,

Of Christian, Pagan, Turk, or Jew,

On that occasion did not fail

To back his parson tooth and nail.

This caus'd a dev'lish quarrel 'tween

Pelides and the king of men;

Which ended to Achilles' cost,

Because a buxom wench he lost.

On which great Jove and's wife fell out,

And made a damn'd confounded rout:

And, had not honest Vulcan seen 'em

Ready for blows, and stepp'd between 'em;

'Tis two to one but their dispute

Had ended in a scratching-bout.

Juno at last was over-aw'd,

Or Jove had been well clapper-claw'd.


A Burlesque Translation of Homer

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