Читать книгу Dancing in the Darkness - Frank Poullain - Страница 13

I started secondary school in Edinburgh as a fairly timid pupil. Having only recently arrived in the capital from the backwaters of Tayside, I was the archetypal big-eared boy from down the farm, and to make matters worse I had a chronic stammer. On my first day at the Royal High, I didn’t know anyone. Picking up on my obvious discomfort, three juvenile delinquents from the depressed housing schemes of Clermiston took it upon themselves to look out for me – BJ, Bampot and Numpty are the names I’ll give them for the purpose of this book.

Appropriately enough for the founding members of the Bog Squad, it didn’t take long for them to flush me out. Three days in, BJ pissed all over me ‘for a laugh’ and I took it as a sign (wasn’t there something about that in the Bible?). My life might have turned out differently if I hadn’t, so I really should be grateful for those golden showers in retrospect.

Numpty was subsequently expelled at 15 for punching the PE teacher in the face. Then a pensioner suffered a cardiac arrest and died after chasing Bampot down the street for putting a lit firework through his letterbox. Some heartless pupils compounded the tragedy, plastering ‘BAMPOT MUST DIE!’ all over the corridor walls. As for BJ, with a nickname like that I was just relieved the companionship hadn’t gone any further.

Gordon Wright had the right idea. He just mumbled. My mum used to go mad when he called: ‘I can’t understand anything he’s saying! Is it cool to do that, Franny? Is that why you’ve started mumbling too?’ After Numpty, Bampot and BJ, it made perfect sense to seek companionship with a more withdrawn type. There was less chance of them soaking you in wee, for a start.

We bonded over listening to music, playing darts, watching football and communicating with speech disorders. I’m sure Gordon had confidence in me because of my stutter – sometimes, if you feel insecure, when you find someone who’s more insecure then somehow it makes you feel better. It soothes your soul.

Since then, I have found myself subconsciously gravitating towards what you might call ‘loners’. And I’m glad that I developed this habit, because years later I befriended my umpteenth shy misfit and he ended up being the front man in our band. His name was Justin Hawkins.