Читать книгу Murder Doesn't Figure - Fred Yorg - Страница 7

CHAPTER ONE

As I entered the house, I took a quick glance at the grandfather’s clock in the living room. If the clock was to be believed it was exactly 11:45 a.m. The time seemed about right, so I concluded that the old clock was running right on time, which was a hell of a lot more than I could say about myself. Here it was, midday and the only positive accomplishments I could point to were feeding the cat and dropping the Sunday papers off to the Emmon’s sisters. It’s not like there weren’t plenty of chores for me to do. After all, no housework of any kind had been done, since my wife, Kathy, left for the Poconos. Although it was hard for me to believe, that was actually ten days ago. A hell of a lot had happened since then. Once Kathy got home and heard my story, I hoped she’d cut me some slack.

Perhaps, the smart move would have been to try to make a last minute attempt to give the house a quick cleaning before she came home, but quite honestly it was just overwhelming. Where to begin, that was the question? As I pondered my next move, I glanced over at the cat, and found him sleeping on the couch. He was all curled up in a tight ball without a worry in the world. Now, the old lion had the right idea. It was such a good idea that I felt compelled to put the housecleaning debate on hold and join him. The last ten days had been tough on the both of us and we deserved a little shut-eye. I snuggled in next to Tuxedo and quickly joined him for a catnap.

It seemed like I had just closed my eyes when the door burst open. The cat and I both jumped up, at the ready. It was my wife. Her arms were full of luggage and she didn’t appear to be in a cheerful mood. I found that to be rather odd, for someone who was returning from a ten day vacation. I’m sure she had her reasons, and from the look in her eyes I was equally sure I was going to hear all about it.

“Hello sweetheart, did you have a good time?” I asked in my most cheerful voice.

“NO, it was horrible.”

“What? When I spoke to Mary Jane, she told me you and the girls were having a great time.”

“We were. But all that changed last Monday, with the bad weather. Barbara has been whining and bitching about anything and everything for the last six days. It was horrible, a total disaster. Then on the ride home I got stuck in a two-hour traffic jam. Enough about me; how did you spend your time while I was away?”

Before I could respond, Kathy was already answering her own question. After being married to her for close to thirty years, I should have recognized from her tone that the last question was rhetorical.

“Obviously not doing any house cleaning. This place is a mess. What the hell have you been doing? Laying on the couch all day, with the cat.”

She continued droning on, in a shrill state of hysteria, for quite some time. The cat and I remained on the couch, sitting there together in quiet bewilderment. I knew from years of experience that it would be futile to interrupt her, while she was carrying on like this. I’d just have to wait until she either concluded her ranting or stopped to take a breath, whichever came first. Finally she stopped, now was my time to strike.

“Okay Kathy, you want to know what I’ve been doing?”

“Yeah, I would like to know.”

“Then be quiet and listen. The day after you left I got involved in a murder.”

“MURDER? What the hell are you talking about? Are you going to jail?”

“Of course I’m not going to jail.”

“What kind of trouble have you gotten into now?”

“Calm down and I’ll explain everything.”

“Is this going to be a long story?”

“Yeah, it’s long and involved.”

“Well, you’ve got my attention. I must say, you do keep it interesting. Let me get a glass of wine, then tell me the whole story from the beginning to the end. Don’t leave anything out.”

With that, Kathy went out to the kitchen for her glass of wine. “You want a glass of wine or a bourbon?”

“No thanks dear, I’m cutting back.”

She quickly returned, with glass in hand and sat down in the chair. “Okay, let’s hear your story, and I’m warning you right now, it better be good.”