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NINE

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‘Richard Stonehill, thirty-five, architect, new-age man and all round good-looker, what is your idea of perfect happiness?’

‘Yachting in Australia.’ You, Sal.

‘Ever done it?’

‘Yes, I have.’

‘What is your greatest fear?’

‘Multiple sclerosis.’

‘With which historical figure do you most identify?’

‘Byron.’

‘How pretentious! Which living person do you most admire?’

‘Bob.’

‘Bob-and-Catherine Bob?’

‘Yes.’

‘What vehicles do you own?’

‘An Alfa Romeo Spyder and a Cannondale mountain bike.’

‘What is your greatest extravagance?’

‘Silk ties and olive oil that’s as expensive as the former.’

‘What objects do you always carry with you?’

‘Why, my little black book of course.’

‘Am I in your little black book?’

‘You are in my little black book.’

‘What makes you most depressed?’

‘Housing estates. Oh, and nylon.’

‘Hear hear. What do you most dislike about your appearance?’

‘My legs.’

‘Your legs?’

‘Too skinny.’

Richard, they’re gorgeous, unquestionably masculine, you vain old thing.

‘What is your most unappealing habit?’

Moi? Rien!

‘Ri-chard!

‘Okay, I pick my nose, fart and belch.’

‘Big deal.’

‘Simultaneously. In the bath.’

‘Gracious Good Lord. What would you most like for your next birthday present?’

‘You. Wrapped up in brown paper and red ribbons.’

‘When is your birthday?’

‘June the second.’

‘I’ll see what I can do. What is your favourite word?’

‘Telecommunication,’ proclaimed Richard. ‘Well, it sounds nice, doesn’t it?’ Sally raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh, all right then – copulation.’

‘Later. What or who is the greatest love of your life?’

‘My mummy!’

Laughter erupted and Sally tickled Richard into saying ‘Architecture’ and finally admitting ‘Food’.

‘Ooops, watch that cup! What do you consider the most overrated virtue?’

‘Etiquette.’

‘What is your greatest regret?’

‘That my father and I did not get along.’

‘It’s never too late for a reconciliation.’

‘He’s dead.’

‘Oh. Poor Richie. Mine died when I was fifteen. When and where were you happiest?’

‘Finishing the London marathon three years ago.’

‘What single thing would improve the quality of your life?’

‘A housekeeper-cum-therapist-cum-masseuse-cum-sex-goddess. Want the job? Seven-fifty an hour?’

‘Ten? Done! Which talent would you most like to have?’

‘Telepathy.’

‘What would your motto be?’

Bien faire ce que j’ai à faire.’ Sally nodded, earnestly hoping to veil the fact that she had not the faintest idea what that meant.

‘How would you like to be remembered?’

‘As Sally Lomax’s favourite lay!’ As Sally Lomax’s favourite.

‘Thank you, Richard Stonehill, for your co-operation and honesty. Would you like your reward now or after lunch?’

‘What do you think?’

Richard and Sally explored each other’s bodies with a new inquisitiveness and a new depth. A new tenderness, too. Richard found how Sally’s personality shone through; her breasts spoke of it, her fuzzy bikini line proclaimed it. She spent a long time caressing his legs, with hands, lips and eyes, showing him that they drove her wild. She whispered ‘telecommunication’ as she chewed and licked his ear lobes. He hummed Genesis and sang ‘Turn It On Again’ after she came. She came again. She felt more fulfilled than she had with any other man, not that there had been that many. Now they both wanted to give, not merely to take. To give and to receive, to linger and to lap it up.

What is it that I am feeling? thought Sally as she showered, alone, in Richard’s bathroom. What is it? she wondered, as she swathed herself in Richard’s thick, burgundy towelling robe. What is it that feels so, well, nice? she asked herself as she padded across the bedroom to gaze out of the window at nothing in particular.

They lunched and munched together, snuggled deep in Richard’s voluminous sofa; du pain, du vin, du Boursin. Later, they browsed and tinkered at Portobello Market. He bought her two pounds of Cox’s Orange Pippins, she bought him half a pound of pear drops which tasted of white paper bag, just like they had in childhood, just as they should. The weather was as crisp as the apples, their noses were reddened and noisy, their fingers chilled. They thawed out at the Gate Cinema and were warmed by coffee, carrot cake and a Louis Malle matinée.

On her way home she stopped at a chemist. And bought a new toothbrush. She had not forgotten to take hers home, nor had she planned to leave it. She did not leave it accidentally-on-purpose, nor had she connived with herself in the bathroom mirror. She had done no grinning at the toothbrush. It was in the same beaker as Richard’s but they were not touching. His was an angle-poised, hard bristle; hers was small-headed and soft. She had left it merely because it had looked just fine in the beaker with Richard’s. Richard was not madly excited to find it there later, but certainly he was happy that it was there. That night, alone but not lonely in their respective beds, they did not think of each other but of themselves. Friday nights and Saturday mornings were to become an institution, not that they knew it then. If waves of contentment can travel, then the vibes from Highgate and those from Notting Hill would have met, crashed and fallen to earth somewhere around Regents Park. Which is precisely where, three days later, Sally and Richard next met.

Sally

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