Читать книгу The McCabe Girls Complete Collection: Cat, Fen, Pip, Home Truths - Freya North - Страница 32

Most courteously, Alex and Josh had taken the room with bunk beds so that the sisters could have the room with the small double and tiny single bed. Pip told her sisters she ought to take the single bed as she feared she was developing a cold. Josh was well aware that Alex presumed him to be asleep when his colleague crept from the room and when he returned in the early hours. Fen and Cat did not hear Pip leave their room but they heard her return. Facing each other in the double bed, they opened their eyes, raised eyebrows, bit back grins and pretended to be fast asleep.

Cat’s mobile phone woke them for real an hour later, at seven in the morning.

‘Cat?’

‘Rachel?’

‘Are you busy?’

‘Er, no.’

‘Are you asleep?’

‘Er, no.’

‘I need some help – can you come? Bring your sisters. It’s women’s work and I need all hands on deck.’

Rachel welcomed them into the Zucca MV team bus. Cat observed her sisters’ open mouths and wide eyes and realized with a certain warmth how initially she too had been staggered at glimpsing such a different, special, self-contained world; but how now all of this had become the norm to her, a plausible, preferable way of life.

It’s my world too, now. Part of my life. I’m happy here. I feel I belong.

‘Now,’ said Rachel, most officiously, ‘down to business.’ From a carrier bag, she laid out a selection of porn magazines.

‘Shit,’ Pip gasped, ‘where did you find those?’

‘Are they banned?’ Fen whispered ingenuously. ‘Did you have to confiscate them? Have you to surrender them to Jean Marie LeBlanc?’

Rachel and Cat laughed, though Cat, aware that porn mags were not a banned substance, was not yet sure of their purpose.

‘The boys had a really tough day yesterday,’ Rachel said, flipping through a magazine leisurely, ‘and today the forecast is very hot.’

‘And today they have five mountains to climb,’ Cat added, peering over Rachel’s shoulder at female limbs in a quite startling configuration.

‘So,’ said Rachel, ‘I thought, to hell with tin foil – I’ll wrap their race food in something far more appetizing. We need a production line. Fen, would you mind going through this pile, Pip you have that.’

‘What do you want?’ Fen asked, deadly serious. ‘Big tits?’

‘Split beavers?’ asked Pip soberly.

‘Perfect,’ said Rachel, ‘only try to find bodies where, if there is a face, it’s a pretty one. Bugger the readers’ wives and fuck the ones with so much silicone that their nipples spread out like a rash. Just go for the bimbos – I really want to treat the boys.’

In the front seat of the Système Vipère team car, Fabian Ducasse is pugnaciously silent and aggressively focused. Jules Le Grand is driving him down L’Alpe D’Huez, down the very mountain which the day before Fabian had ascended in his own funeral cortège. He stares straight ahead, not looking at the road, the gradient, the debris from yesterday. His eyes, today the colour of graphite and as seemingly insensate as the rock of the fearsome Alp itself, give nothing away. Fabian’s aquiline features are as sharp as the boulders. A scar scores through his soul in much the same way as the road slices into the mountain. Behind closed lips, his teeth are clenched. However, the external manifestation of his inner turmoil is one of brooding steady focus; he resolutely refuses to allow any hint of emotional turbulence to be visible. It’s strategy. The media must not know. Nor must any rider in the peloton. Nor, he thinks somewhat deludedly, must his directeur.

But it is Jules’s job to be in tune with his riders; though he has read Fabian’s condition in a glance, he knows that diplomacy is crucial if the great rider is to race well today. Personally, Jules detests seeing his team leader back in regular Système Vipère colours; Fabian looks wrong somehow, like he’s in mufti after eight days wearing the yellow jersey. Though his primary concern is for Fabian’s physical and mental recovery, Jules is also thinking of the Système Vipère sponsors, intending to phone them, reassure them, flatter them, once the Stage is under way. Jules has hardly spoken to Fabian because he knows there is little the rider wants to hear. When Fabian finished the Stage yesterday, Jules had grasped his shoulders, shaken him until eye contact was established and said, ‘Bien, Fabian, bien.’ Jules curses the fact that the only way to today’s start is down the very route that decimated his rider the day before, stripping him of his maillot jaune. Jules is painfully aware of the irony that L’Alpe D’Huez, in glorious sunshine, looks positively Sound of Music this morning.

‘Can he reclaim the maillot jaune?’ was a question posed to Jules by fans, by TV, by phone and in the press conference yesterday.

‘Tomorrow is another high mountain Stage,’ Jules had replied nonchalantly, ‘and there is of course another Time Trial to go.’

He had not said this to Fabian. There was nothing that could be said to Fabian that Fabian wouldn’t have told himself already, time and again.

Fen and Pip caught a ride to the Col de la Madeleine with another Zucca MV soigneur, a quietly spoken man with whom they conversed sparingly in pidgin Anglo-Franco-Italian. He felt it his greater duty to consolidate his passengers’ burgeoning passion for the sport by driving them along the race route than to go direct to the hotel to unpack for the riders. From Vizille, the summer seat of many a French president, through the Chatreuse Massif, they journeyed on a road laid down by Napoleon, unaware that the day was to bring a French revolution in the form of Fabian Ducasse’s comeback. Pip and Fen were seduced by pretty chalets in sleepy mountain villages where, in July, the Christmas lights were still up because the ski season alone defined such places’ existence.

Sunflowers, lavender and cow parsley provided a gentle aesthetic antidote to the rock faces on which firs clung precariously. Local women, laying claim to their favourite spectating spots, sat under parasols, compounding Fen and Pip’s feeling that they were driving through an Impressionist painting. Until, that is, the tifosi began to gather in force and en masse, their sodden clothes from yesterday drying on mountain safety barriers, shrubs, even the tarmac itself. The sisters grinned proudly while the fans cheered, waved and rang huge cow bells as the Zucca MV car passed by.

‘Madeleine,’ said the soigneur with hushed reverence, stopping the car near the summit of the great mountain. ‘Please,’ he said, hand on heart, as if it were his grave responsibility, ‘I wish you to have a very good day.’

‘Mille grazie,’ said Fen.

‘Trille zille grazie,’ said Pip.

‘Prego,’ said the soigneur with a humble but flattered shrug and smile, ‘prego.’

‘Everyone is so lovely,’ Fen remarked to Pip as a vast Spanish family made room at the roadside for them, and an elderly German woman whose face was painted like her national flag offered them cold sausages.

‘It’s like a huge family,’ Pip agreed, thanking three young Spanish boys for sharing their orange juice. ‘I can’t believe you’re making me go home tonight.’

‘I have to go to work tomorrow,’ Fen bemoaned, wanting to stay in the Alps, stay on for the Time Trial, for Paris, rather than head home to trying times and impossible choices.

‘And Ben is going to drive us to the station in Grenoble,’ said Pip. ‘He’s lovely, isn’t he?’

‘It’s only about 70 k from Gilbertville,’ Fen retorted, wondering how on earth she had the space in her mind to be confused about Ben when she was dithering over two men of her own. ‘Wouldn’t you rather Alex drove us?’ Fen crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at her sister who almost choked on her orange juice before brandishing a very wicked smile.

‘Naughty Philippa,’ Pip chastized herself with great pride.

‘And?’ Fen pressed.

‘Who would have thought the Tour de France was sex and drugs and rock and roll?’ Pip marvelled as a nearby Danish contingent danced terribly to terrible Europop and a Dutch posse enjoyed cake whose main ingredient was obviously far more mood-enhancing than just flour, butter, eggs and sugar.

In the Gilbertville salle de pressé, a large marquee by the Arly river, Cat sat on a rickety plastic chair as if it were a veritable throne.

Taverner didn’t cut a bloody word! she marvelled to herself and anyone else who chanced upon the Guardian, spread before her. If this doesn’t swing the favour of the Maillot office, what the fuck will?

‘Andy? This is Cat McCabe in Gilbertville.’

‘Hullo, Cat McCabe in Gilbertville,’ said Andy from offices in Pentonville.

‘Have you seen the Guardian?’ Cat said, trying hard not to squeak with excitement, nor sound deflated when Andy said he hadn’t. ‘Well, I gave Taverner twice as much as he’d asked for and he hasn’t cut a word.’

‘And Maillot would want to employ a girl who doesn’t do as she’s told?’ came the response, the tongue in cheek not being audible via mobile phone. Cat hung up and speed-read yesterday’s article to keep despondency at bay. ‘I need a break,’ she said quietly, ‘I deserve the chance.’

Fabian Ducasse wanted a break too, but the peloton were still bruised from the previous Stage, their bodies bewildered by the sudden heat, so they rode together in an unspoken ceasefire. Fabian’s team-mate Carlos Jesu Velasquez, the dethroned King of the Mountains, had conquered the first three narrow twisting mountain passes to bring him within spitting distance of the polka dot jersey Massimo Lipari had taken from him yesterday. No one went for broke on the penultimate climb, the Grand Cucheron, so there were no great time gaps as the riders raced in the still, dry, high heat along 40 kilometres of flat roads towards the Col de la Madeleine.

There, Fen was tanning nicely and Pip’s nose was starting to burn a little until she caught a souvenir baseball cap flung from the publicity caravan. The vibe of the approaching race could be felt from way off and the McCabe sisters were soon standing in anticipation with the excited hordes, ten people to every metre along the climb of the Madeleine. A whisper surged through the crowds that Fabian had launched a surprise attack in the lower reaches. Those further up could not witness it but ears were glued to radios and, in the salle de presse, eyes were stuck to the TV screens. What Cat saw she deemed to be nothing short of genius and she intended to tell her Guardian readers just that.

Fabian Ducasse read astutely not only the requirements of the 19.5 km climb of the Madeleine, but also the state of his rivals’ minds and bodies. As the 7.6 per cent ascent commenced, he appeared tired – continually dropping off the back of his small lead group and then labouring hard to claw his way back. Ultimately, he was calling their bluff. Suddenly he steamed from the back and headed off at speed, plucking Velasquez with him. Sitting deep and resolute in the saddle, his shoulders steady, his gear arrogantly huge, his body appeared to snub the gradient of the climb. His Spanish team-mate and grimpeur extraordinaire, stood on his pedals and danced alongside the Système Vipère leader. Zucca MV’s Jawlensky launched a counter-attack immediately, assisted by the heroic Gianni Fugallo – arguably the super domestique of the Tour. However, having offered Vasily his slipstream in the Pyrenees and the Alps, having worked tirelessly to bring Stefano Sassetta to the sprint finishes of the first week, today Fugallo only managed to haul his team leader two thirds of the way up the Madeleine before dropping back. It was enough, however, to keep the Russian strategically close to his Système Vipère adversaries and Fugallo’s efforts were instrumental in ensuring that the maillot jaune stays with Zucca MV tonight.

While Fen and Pip were too high up to see the super domestique at work, they would later see what Cat could not: how ravaged a state Fugallo was in. The pictures beamed in to the salle de pressé focused on the race lead, not the domestique struggling with the mountain in a body struggling to cope. Fen and Pip yelled and leapt as Fabian and Carlos, and soon enough Vasily, passed by.

‘I can’t believe I’ve been so self-centred with my Evian,’ Pip said in horror, watching the fans pour water over the riders as they passed. ‘You can have one last sip, Fen,’ she said.

‘Look at all these people,’ Fen marvelled, taking two sips less than she actually required, ‘they’re like an ever-converging corridor, stepping aside but a wheel away from the approaching riders.’

‘If you were a dog,’ Pip reasoned, scanning downhill for the cyclists, ‘you’d have to wag your tail up and down, it’s so narrow. Here they come!’

‘Two and a half minutes off the lead,’ said Fen, checking her watch and focusing on four specks of lycra approaching. ‘Look! Someone’s bolted off.’

‘Lipari! Lipari!’ sang neighbouring Italians who’d been most generous with their Amaretti biscuits and their Amaretto, and they burst into the Zucca MV climber’s Giro pop tune.

‘Will he catch them?’ Fen wondered. ‘Fabian and Carlos and Vasily?’

‘He’s Massimo,’ one Italian said to her, raising his hands as if her question bordered on blasphemy, ‘of course he catch them – he eat them!’

‘Indians,’ says Hunter to Luca in a group of twelve, 24 minutes behind the leaders.

‘What?’ says Luca, who feels surprisingly strong but is riding carefully.

‘Indians,’ Hunter repeats, nodding ahead. Luca follows his gaze and his heart drops.

‘Oh fuck,’ he gasps, ‘no way, man, no fuckin’ way.’

He’d thought the summit couldn’t possibly be much further off. But, as he looks ahead, he spies lines of fans in the distance, snaking up and around the mountain, a zig-zag of spectators demarcating horribly clearly the severity and length of the route to the summit.

‘You can do it,’ Hunter says, ‘we can both make it.’

‘We can,’ says Luca, ‘but I’m not sure about poor Fugallo. Shit, did you see the state he was in?’

Still none of the McCabes knew how Gianni Fugallo was suffering. When Luca’s bunch neared Pip and Fen, Pip glanced at her sister, beamed a smile of inordinate proportions, grabbed the bottle of Evian and ran along the tarmac splashing the water over as many riders as she could. Cat saw her sister on the press TV, thought that’s my girl and wondered if any of the riders were as drenched as Pip appeared to be. But, with the three leaders beginning the descent, the cameras focused on the head of the race and Cat did not see Gianni Fugallo limp his way up the Madeleine, almost thirty minutes behind.

Fen and Pip, of course, did, It was the most repulsive yet poignant, heart-rending yet stomach-churning sight.

‘What’s that?’ Fen gasped in horror though she knew the answer, eyes hopelessly transfixed by the cyclist’s legs.

‘It’s shit,’ Pip whispered, staring in horror at what appeared to be trickles of slurry coursing their way down.

‘It’s fucking dysentery,’ Fen exclaimed, with revulsion but more with sublime respect that someone suffering so much, so publicly, was doggedly climbing a mountain by bike and obviously had every intention of finishing the Stage.

It was fucking dysentery. When Fugallo made it to the finish, 1 hour 20 minutes behind the leaders but defiantly just ahead of the gruppetto, Rachel had been radioed by the team car on the route. She ushered the exhausted rider into the team bus, all blinds drawn, and peeled away his stenching shorts. Tenderly, she washed the rider down by hand, going through three flannels and bottles of water. Then she helped him into a tracksuit and escorted him to a team car where the other soigneur whisked him away.

The only time anyone heard Gianni Fugallo protest, let alone complain, not only on this specific Tour de France but in his professional cycling career as a whole, was later that night when the Zucca MV directeur sportif instructed Gianni Fugallo, on doctor’s orders, to retire from the race.

The demands of team laundry saw Rachel cancelling her drink with André, the Système Vipère mechanic. It was not just Gianni’s shit-sodden shorts she had to contend with. When Massimo handed in his washing, she could detect a smell familiar yet undefinable. As she sorted through the clothing, she recoiled and all but retched when she came across his shorts. They were covered in a thick, greyish brown, viscid mess. She ran to his room, seriously concerned for his health.

‘Massimo, Jesus!’ she said, bewildered that he should look so well and indeed relaxed; a vision in Prada with sunglasses atop his head and goatee immaculately trimmed.

‘What is it, Rachel?’ the King of the Mountains, but only just, asked her.

‘Are you ill?’ Rachel asked. ‘Your shorts!’

‘I am very well, I am King!’ Massimo laughed, putting on his sunglasses and approaching her. ‘And my shorts – it is banana.’

‘Banana?’ Rachel exclaimed.

‘It is big ladies’ story, yes?’ said Massimo.

‘Old wives’ tale,’ Rachel corrected. ‘What is?’

‘That banana is good for bumps,’ Massimo said ingenuously.

‘There is no medical proof that bananas have any function in the treatment of piles, Massimo,’ she said, her relief manifesting itself in fury, ‘not by ingestion and certainly not by slipping a peeled, ripe one between your arse.’

‘So tomorrow maybe I try raw liver?’ Massimo asked ingenuously. ‘Steak, perhaps?’

‘No, you fucking won’t,’ said Rachel, leaving only to return moments later with conventional ointment for haemorrhoids.

Cat decided she had to write a profile on Gianni Fugallo. Whether Maillot or Procycling or Cycle Sport would want it was beside the point, she felt compelled to do it as her tribute to the rider himself. If it meant she was unable to accompany her sisters and Ben to Grenoble, then so be it.

I’m working, remember. This is not a holiday but my livelihood. My presence here is as an accredited journaliste. If my work is to gain credit, it must be done. I have to think laterally. I have to think ahead. I am a woman in a man’s world and must work twice as hard for half the recognition.

She nipped outside the salle de pressé to hug her sisters farewell and treat herself to a snatched moment’s intimacy with Ben.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said whilst embracing Pip. ‘Are you pissed, Pip?’

‘Amaretto,’ Pip hiccupped apologetically.

‘At least you’ll sleep well,’ said Cat.

‘Gianni pooped his pants,’ said Pip, on the verge of tears.

‘Rumour has it he’ll abandon,’ said Fen.

‘Rumour confirmed,’ said Cat.

‘Poor Gianni,’ said the McCabe sisters.

‘He’ll be fine,’ the doctor soothed.

‘Couldn’t you stay?’ Cat said, suddenly sad.

‘Some of us have conventional jobs in the real world,’ Fen said, drawing her sister close and whispering, ‘Take care, Cat, take care.’

‘I will,’ Cat said firmly, ‘I’m fine.’ She glanced at Ben and smiled at Fen. ‘I’m more than fine.’

Yet Fen regarded her with an expression that would haunt Cat during the evening.

Was it concern? Fear? Doubt? Does she not believe that I’m fine? Does she think I’m not?

Fen was ultimately pleased that Cat chose to stay and work conscientiously and she was relieved that Pip was drowsy from drink and fell asleep in the back of the Megapac car. She had Ben to herself for 70 kilometres, which was what she’d wanted and yet suddenly she could think of nothing to say.

‘Back to the real world,’ said Ben, providing Fen with a perfect opening.

‘Exactly,’ Fen said. She looked out of the window and felt enormously tired; she thought of the cyclists and another mountain Stage to come.

‘Ben,’ she said, glancing at herself in the wing mirror.

‘Fen,’ he said, detecting the portent in her voice and glancing in the rear-view mirror to assess how deeply asleep Pip was.

‘You said it,’ said Fen.

‘Said what?’ said Ben.

‘About the real world,’ Fen said, ‘being far from the Tour de France, Planet Tour – the bubble.’

‘For you,’ said Ben, ‘but for me, it is my world and,’ he said, taking his eyes from the road to regard her because he’d just grasped her point, ‘it welcomes your sister in to its fold.’

‘If she can get a job,’ Fen countered.

‘She’s bloody talented,’ Ben retaliated.

‘She’s not having much luck,’ Fen remarked. She could feel Ben observing her but she cast her gaze away. ‘I find nothing in you to dislike or disapprove,’ she said tartly, ‘but I don’t want my sister to be hurt.’

They drove on in silence.

‘I wouldn’t want to hurt your sister,’ said Ben.

They drove on in silence.

‘Someone did,’ said Fen.

‘I gather,’ said Ben.

Fen shook her head at the pain of remembering the intensity of her sister’s pain. ‘I’ll never let that happen to her again.’

‘Nor, I would have thought, would she,’ said Ben.

‘But next week she’ll be in England,’ said Fen, wishing that they weren’t approaching Grenoble, wishing she could stay and keep Cat close, ‘and all this will be some distant Gallic dream.’

‘And I’ll be in Colorado,’ said Ben, amazed that Grenoble had crept up on them so quickly.

‘Exactly,’ said Fen.

‘Exactly, indeed,’ said Ben.

‘I wish you weren’t nice,’ Fen rued, ‘I wish you and my sister had never met.’

‘Charming,’ said Ben with equanimity.

‘Ben,’ Fen sighed, ‘I am warning you – I really am.’

‘Fen,’ said Ben gravely, regarding her, ‘thank you. You don’t have to.’

‘I won’t have her hurt,’ Fen whispered, not wanting to look at Ben, taking her wrist away from his proffered hand, ‘but that’s inescapable.’

Ben was driving very slowly.

And me. I will too. Hurt. Miss her. Like I’ve never experienced.

Tell Fen. Just say it out loud.

No. Not until I’ve told Cat.

Ben is back at his hotel by eleven o’clock. Cat is asleep in his bed. He slips between the sheets quietly and spends a few minutes observing her; moonlight sifting into the room through ill-fitting curtains and whispering silver highlights over her body. Gently, he hovers his hand over her bare shoulder and then lets it rest lightly on her skin. She makes a small noise in her throat and it makes him smile. He strokes her arm with his fingertips and brings his body close to hers. He breathes deeply into the top of her head.

I know that smell. It’s not shampoo. It’s Cat McCabe. She says she knows my hands. Well, I know her scent off by heart.