Читать книгу Absurd Ditties - G. E. Farrow - Страница 7

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There never lived a worthier man

Than Captain Archibald McKan.

I knew him well some time ago

(I speak of twenty years or so);

Sans peur et sans reproche was he;

He was the soul of chivalry,

Was Captain Archibald McKan.

True greatness showed in all his mien,

No haughty pride in him was seen,

Though, captain of a steamer, he,

From Greenwich unto far Chelsea,

That, spite of weather, wind, and tide,

From early Spring to Autumn plied,

Brave, modest Captain A. McKan.

However sternly might his roar

Reverberate from shore to shore

Of "Ease her! Back her! Hard astern!"

His duty done, with smile he'd turn

And be most affable and mild

To every woman, man, or child

Aboard, would Captain A. McKan.

He reassured the anxious fears

Of nervous ladies—pretty dears!—

He in his pocket carried toys

And sweets for little girls and boys;

He talked in quite familiar way

With men who voyaged day by day,

Did Captain Archibald McKan.

In fact, as I've already said,

No man alive—or even dead—

Was freer from reproach than he;

And yet of Fortune's irony

(Though such a very decent sort)

This worthy man was e'en the sport.

Alas! was Captain A. McKan!

"Cherchez la femme." The phrase is trite,

Yet here, as usual, 'twas right.

Our Captain noted every day

A certain girl rode all the way

From Greenwich Pier to Wapping Stair.

"It cannot be to take the air,"

Thought Captain Archibald McKan.

She calmly sat, with downcast eye;

And looking both demure and shy;

Yet, once, he caught a roving glance,

Which made his pulses wildly dance;

And—though as modest as could be—

"I do believe she's gone on me,"

Considered Captain A. McKan.

"Why else should she persistently

Select my boat alone?" thought he;

"I wonder why she comes? I'll ask,

Though 'tis a very ticklish task."

So, walking forward with a smile,

Beside the lass he stood awhile,

Then coughed, did Captain A. McKan.

"You're frequently aboard my boat,"

Began he; "she's the best afloat;

But, pray, may I enquire, do you

So very much admire the view?"

"Er—moderately, sir," said she.

"Exactly so! It must be me!"

Decided Captain A. McKan.

"Come, tell me, Miss, now no one's by,"

He whispered; "Won't you tell me why

You come so oft? There's naught to dread."

The lady looked surprised, and said:

"My husband works at Wapping Stair,

I daily take his dinner there."

Poor Captain Archibald McKan!