The Positive Woman

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Gael Lindenfield. The Positive Woman

The Positive Woman. Gael Lindenfield

Dedication

Contents

List of Exercises

Introduction

So why is this book addressed specifically to women?

How to read and use this book

Chapter 1Basic philosophy. What is it all about?

Hallmarks of positive thinkers

Negative thinking

The root causes of negative thinking

Is change possible?

Chapter 2 Becoming positive in the quest for self-knowledge

Negative blocks

Block 1: ‘I don’t want to be seen as self-centred or to look as though there is something wrong with me.’

Block 2: ‘It’s alright for those who can afford the luxury.’

Block 3: ‘Deep down, I’m probably not a very nice person.’

Block 4: ‘If I start crying, I won’t be able to stop.’

Make a positive beginning

Exercise: Who am I?

Exercise: How negative am I?

Chapter 3 Healing the hurt

Emotional wounds

Exercise: The emotional story of my life

Exercise: ‘Unfinished business’

Emotional healing

Exercise: Self-nurturing

Chapter 4 Kicking the negative thinking habit

Guidelines for changing habits

Overcoming negative thinking

The ‘GEE’ strategy

Generalization

Exaggeration

Exclusion

Exercise: The GEE strategy

Positive decision-making and problem-solving

FACE the Facts

Exercise: FACE the Facts

How to expand your thinking powers

Male/female differences

Improving your memory

Improving your ability to look and listen

Improving your reading and note-taking

Exercise: Mind Map note-taking

Exercise: Brainstorming

Improving your numeracy

Improving your creative potential

The Left and Right Brain

Exercise: Mandala meditation

Exercise: Interpreting your dreams

Exposing yourself to positive thoughts

Exercise: The irrational culture

Exercise: Positive experiences

Exercise: Credo of beliefs

Chapter 5 Kicking negative habits of feeling

Fear

Controlling fear. Step 1: Face the facts about fear

Step 2: Learn more about your own fear

Factors Affecting our Handling of Frightening Experiences

Exercise: My fear

Step 3: Take some positive action

Grief

The Phases of Bereavement

Coping with grief

Exercise: My losses

Jealousy

Confronting jealousy

Come out of the closet

Understand the causes of your problem

Heal your hurt

End negative relationships

Exercise: Beating jealousy

Anger

Coping positively with anger

Exercise: My anger

Guidelines for assertive anger

Chapter 6 Kicking negative habits of behaviour

The importance of our behaviour

Accept that we will be judged by our behaviour

Changing our behaviour

Beat moaning with initiation

Exercise: Taking the initiative

Beat worrying with contingency planning

Exercise: Contingency planning

Beat indecision with decisiveness

Beat boot-licking with challenge and confrontation

Exercise: Refusing the bait

Beat aggression with awareness and assertion

Exercise: Assertive communication

Verbal Openers

Non-Verbal Accompanying Behaviour

Beat shyness with sociability and cheerfulness

Beat addiction with considered choice

Exercise: Beating addiction

Chapter 7Improving your physical well-being

Keeping fit

Is your diet good enough?

Are you getting enough exercise?

Are you managing the stress in your life effectively?

Are you getting enough rest?

Taking preventative steps

Simple preventative measures

Coping positively with illness, handicap and ageing

Positive strategies. Look for encouraging models

Join a self-help or mutual aid group

Become informed

Test out alternative therapies

Check your entitlement to financial help

Use agony aunts and uncles

Use the power of the media for campaigning

Let yourself be cared for

Find new interests and activities

Chapter 8Improving your self-presentation

‘Changing your image’

Explore your concepts

Exercise: My style

Break your bad habits

Research the alternatives

Chapter 9Developing your skills and knowledge

Educational experiences

School-days

Exercise: My education

Educational opportunities

Ways forward

Career and educational counselling and advice

Experiment with adult education classes

Join an access course for women

Find the money

Chapter 10Revitalizing personal relationships

Marriage and other intimate partnerships

Are your objectives and dreams realistic?

Exercise: Subconscious influences on my relationship

Have you negotiated clear ground rules?

Is there enough romance and celebration in the relationship?

Is your relationship getting its fair share of positive nourishment? Exercise: Nourishing love

Do you care enough about yourself in the relationship?

Do you ask for what you want in an assertive manner?

Is your sexual relationship good enough?

Do you argue enough?

Are you prepared for the possibility of divorce or separation?

Exercise: Surviving separation

Children

To have or have not

Positive parenting

Blocks to positive parenting

Aids to building confidence and positive attitudes in children

Provide basic shelter and security

Convey unconditional admiration

Teach communication skills

Develop their independence gradually

Encourage self-discipline and self-assessment

Challenge sexual stereotypes

Fostering social awareness

Valuing and encouraging the father’s role

Giving children with special needs special attention

Working co-operatively with parents and other parent figures outside the family

Friends and relations

Exercise: Negative aspects of my friendships

Making new friends

Increasing opportunities

Developing the skills and confidence

Chapter 11 Give your lifestyle a management boost

Time management

Exercise: Time wasting

Time savers

Home management

Practical steps

Time management

Assertiveness

Team-building

Nest-building

Planning

Exercise: Home management

Financial management

Work

Your career

Exercise: My work objectives and patterns

Ways forward

Boost your motivation

Start to ‘look the part’

Make your present job more satisfying

Exercise: My present job

Looking for a new job

Use advisory services

Prepare your curriculum vitae

Try speculative applications

Prepare well for interviews

Consider setting up in business on your own

Exercise: Am I a potential entrepreneur?

Leisure

Exercise: My leisure

Chapter 12 Positive action strategy

Goals

Sabotage

Resources

Support

POSITIVE ACTION STRATEGY – EXAMPLE 1

POSITIVE ACTION STRATEGY – EXAMPLE 2

POSITIVE ACTION STRATEGY – EXAMPLE 3

Chapter 13 Relaxation, meditation and creative visualization. Relaxation

Progressive relaxation

‘Quick fix’ relaxation

Meditation. Mantra meditation

Dance meditation

Colour meditation

Creative visualization

Using pictures

Using imagery

Affirmations

Chapter 14 Asserting yourself

Assertive rights

My assertive rights

Further reading

Assertiveness and confidence

Inspiration and motivation

Management of feelings

Management of lifestyle

Personality development, childhood and parenting

Relationships

Thinking

Work

About the Author

Index

Acknowledgements

Copyright

About the Publisher

Отрывок из книги

With much love and admiration, I dedicate this book to

my daughter Susie who this year takes her first steps

.....

a) I feel excited about the day ahead.

b) I don’t feel anything in particular.

.....