Читать книгу Managing Anger: Simple Steps to Dealing with Frustration and Threat - Gael Lindenfield, Gael Lindenfield - Страница 25

My own views on this subject have certainly been largely formed as a direct result of both personal and professional experience with anger. When I first entered the profession of psychiatric social work I was firmly positioned at the ‘nature’ end of the continuum. I felt very comfortable embracing the medical model of mental illness and quickly became skilled at the art of making elaborate diagnoses and prognoses. I was particularly ‘hot’ on spotting the difference between a psychotic and neurotic illness. I had a very clear idea of what was ‘mad’, what was ‘sad’ and what was merely ‘bad’ behaviour. Although I was not trained as a doctor, I prided myself on the fact that the psychiatrists could always rely on my advice concerning medication and rehabilitation programmes. I could be trusted to work with patients because there was no fear that I would upset them by delving too deeply or stirring their troubled emotions. I was not uncaring, in fact, I was completely dedicated to my work and cared very deeply about patients’ welfare. I was an energetic force in the campaigns to unlock wards and abandon white coats. In the community, I argued the case for mental illness to be seen with just the same compassion as any other illness because ‘they’ needed our help and protection.

With the wisdom of hindsight obtained through many later years of personal development work, I can now see that I adopted this professional patronizing mode to protect myself. I had spent much of my twenties secretly suffering and being treated for depression. On being cured, I was advised (by my psychiatrist!) to seek employment in a psychiatric hospital. I had a great need to see myself as completely cured and quite sane, and what better way to prove that than by becoming a valued and respected side-kick of eminent psychiatrists! For me, ‘feeling sane’ was actually feeling that the nice caring side of myself was in complete control of the seething pool of unexpressed and denied anger about my childhood and past life which was still deep within me. It was not until I started admitting and learning to manage, rather than deny, this anger that I realized what a big price I had been paying for my so-called sanity: I didn’t like myself (after all I knew that I was a ‘phony’); I still secretly nursed very black depressive thoughts; my body was becoming literally crippled with tension (I was having regular treatment for rapidly advancing arthritis which has now disappeared) and my personal relationships were far from perfect! I am now convinced that if I hadn’t dealt with my backlog of anger and subsequently learned how to manage frustration in a healthier manner, I could have become even more seriously mentally disturbed.

So, initially, it was this very personal experience which convinced me of the link between anger management and mental functioning, but now I can add the weight of years and years of professional experience as a therapist, plus the testimony of many colleagues doing similar work, to reinforce this conviction.