Читать книгу The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women - Gail McMeekin - Страница 10

In the midst of all of these changes, I suddenly became fascinated with art, beauty, and creative expression. I started buying new magazines like House and Garden (although at that time I had neither), Country Living, and Architectural Digest, and I craved visits to English country antique stores, watercolor exhibits, art galleries, and shops that featured handpainted anything. Color seduced me from everywhere.

What you love is a sign from your higher self of what you are to do.

—SANAYA ROMAN, WRITER

I started wearing coral, red, and purple outfits to my office instead of dull navy and gray suits. I also found myself reading women writers exclusively.

Many years earlier in graduate school, my plan had been to have a clinical practice and then write self-help magazine articles and books. My excursions into writing had consisted of only a few published articles, but now my short-circuited fantasy of becoming a writer beckoned again. Several years earlier I had co-authored a book called Fearless Speaking: A Work-Life Guide to Conquering Communication Anxiety. My writing partner and I had secured a literary agent who raved about the book but encouraged us to pass up offers from two small publishers and wait for a bigtime publisher. Foolishly, we took his advice, but he never sold our book. Discouraged, my partner and I dropped the project, and then my partner, who kept the manuscript on his computer, mysteriously lost the files. Our already-written book vanished into oblivion. Despite the pain of the loss, I had to simply let it go. During my struggle with fatigue however, my mind, unlike my tired body, kept generating new ideas. While I felt some stirrings of recovery, a trip to the grocery store still felt like a backpacking expedition. I had transcended the New Age distortion that I was to blame for my illness and stopped trying to regain my old life. Every time I pushed myself to do work that was overly stressful just to earn money, I relapsed immediately. I finally understood. It was time to redesign my life in line with my limitations and with total allegiance to my truth.