Читать книгу A Head Full of Everything - Gavin Oattes - Страница 16

I believe that in growing up too many of us lose something special. Very special. Some hold on to it forever, for others it comes and goes, but for many, it just disappears entirely. I'm going to refer to it as ‘that wee piece of magic’. It's a natural thing that we're all born with. I see it in my own two kids every day.

So what do I actually mean by ‘that wee piece of magic’? Let me try and explain… . About three months before my son's 5th birthday we woke at 4 am to the sound of him screaming ‘DAAAAD’ as loud as he possibly could. I got the fright of my life and leapt out my bed.

In fact, I didn't even touch the bed, I just landed on two feet and ran for the door (because that's how ninjas respond). As I headed for the door Kian came running into the room still shouting, ‘DAAAAD!’ Obviously concerned, I stopped him and asked ‘What on earth is it Kian? It's 4 in the morning. What's the matter?’

Perfectly calm, Kian smiled and simply answered, ‘I know why they're called eyeballs.’ This for me was a moment of magic. Let me explain why.

The fact that it was 4 am is irrelevant when the star of the story is only 4. Kian had woken up and had a moment of learning, which is cool but it's not the moment of magic. The moment of magic came next. He shared it. That's it. It's that simple. He shared it. Because that's what you do when you're 4, you share stuff. Doesn't matter what you experience or what you discover, you share it. Doesn't matter how big it is or how small it is, you share it. Doesn't matter how exciting it is or how boring it is, how colourful or dull, you share it, because you're 4.

But at nearly 5, you don't just share it. You share it from here (*points to chest*), with heart and soul. With passion, energy, excitement and it's always wrapped up in a big ball of wonder. It's beautiful. It's magic.

So why is this relevant to you – a teenager – reading this? How many times in your life have you been asked at school to share your work, share your knowledge, your inspirations, your ideas, to share who you are? And how often do you actually share, from here (*points to chest*), with heart and soul? With passion, energy and excitement all wrapped up in a big ball of wonder?

There's how the best leaders lead. There's how we create a movement. There's how we inspire. There's how we make a difference. There's how we change the world.

And in case you're wondering, Kian never actually told me why they're called eyeballs. To be fair, that wasn't the point.

I'll give you one more example of this wee piece of magic I speak of.

We were having dinner one night. There was broccoli on the plate. Now I don't like broccoli, but my kids love it. They're weird, right? I had broccoli on my plate because that's a good parenting example. My son leant over, picked up a piece of broccoli from my plate and said, ‘Dad, you should eat your greens,’ to which I replied, ‘And you should stop touching my food.’ ‘Broccoli is great fun dad.’ I had never heard this sentence before.

He continued, ‘it can beee stuff’. Now, instantly my brain showed me lots of pictures of trees. We all know broccoli looks like trees, yours probably just did the same. It turned out I was on the right lines, but as he was only 4, he was streets ahead of me. Holding up the piece of broccoli he said, ‘See this piece here Dad, I want you to imagine it's summertime, in fact no Dad’ – he bit the head off the broccoli – ‘it's autumn.’

Genius. I sat there thinking isn't it incredible how at such a young age we can take anything we want and transform it into anything we want? Anything.

Of course, at such a young age we find this process much more natural. Firstly, as kids we always want things to be better, to be more fun, more exciting. Secondly, we believe it to be possible. And lastly, we know it will be worth the effort.

What do I mean by that last one?

It's why young kids will sit and build Lego for 4 hours then knock it down and start again. It's why they'll go outside and build a den even though they've been told it's going to rain in an hour.

This example right here, with the den and the rain. This sums up for me just what goes wrong for so many of us out there. There are simply too many people – teens included – who have made a shift from being the type of person who thinks and says ‘I'm going outside to build a den in the garden’ to being the type of person that thinks and says ‘but it's going to rain in an hour’.

‘Once you’re grown up, you can’t come back.’

—Peter Pan

That's the wee piece of magic I'm talking about right there. Heading outside to build the den or staying indoors to wait for the rain to pass. It's the perfect metaphor for life.

It's the difference between actually building the den and wishing you'd built the den. The difference between doing something that excites you and doing something safer. The difference between embracing the moment or passing it up. The difference between getting stuck in no matter what and sitting this one out.

Think about this from your perspective as a teenager. Like really young kids, most teenagers want things to be better, to always be improving. Most will seek some kind of positive change. We all want to have fun. Step one is always the easy part.

Step two is where we lose some people. It becomes harder to believe some things are possible. As we enter adulthood, we now know what it's like to fail, to be judged, to be told we're not good enough. We worry more about other people's opinions. We start to overthink things. We can overthink things to such an extent we convince ourselves we can't do or have certain things, so it's easier to not even try.

And then there's step three, as teenagers we know what it means to be told ‘the effort will be worth it in the long run’. It's code for ‘in the short‐term it's going to be awful’. Like exams. ‘Put the effort in now and it will all pay off’ they say. What they're really saying is that it's going to be stressful, messy and we're all going to be exhausted.

When you're in proper groan‐up jobland, they'll say things to you like, ‘we're embarking on a journey of change’ or ‘we're going on a journey of growth’.

We are ALWAYS on a journey of growth! BUT PLEASE CAN WE STOP CALLING IT ‘A JOURNEY OF GROWTH’!!! It's just life.

It won't matter what age you are, or how boring your boss is, it will be the wee piece of magic that gets you through. But not just through … in, involved and engaged.

But how do we do this? How do we make sure we never lose that wee piece of magic?

Mindset.

This is once again all about how you choose to think. I am a firm believer in the idea that you are what you think.

Change your thinking, you change your thoughts. Change your thoughts, you change the words that come out your mouth. Change the words that come out your mouth, you change what you give off.

Your thoughts lead to behaviours. Always.

I once read a beautiful quote by Cynthia Occelli: ‘For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.’

Sound familiar? Welcome to the teenage years. Welcome to life.

At 4 years of age we don't see destruction. We see adventure and excitement, we just think ‘bring it on’. As young adults, many of us see hard work, frustration and effort.

What if there's too much emphasis these days on striving to be great at something. This brings nothing but pressure and comparison. What if we've got it all wrong. Rather than finding the confidence to be great, what if it was about finding the confidence to have fun? To see the fun in the everyday, the fun in the ordinary. To play.

You used to be the best at playing. So did your parents. And your grandparents. I hope you've not forgotten this.

Remember when you were 6? In your mind you were never too far from a playground. The floor was always lava. Sometimes you played in the clouds. All steps were rainbow coloured. Every bridge was a shake shake bridge. You never sat still. Homework was fun. Museums came to life. The library was loud and you could borrow more than just books! Waiting never felt like waiting. Rain falling during school break time didn't mean we're staying indoors, it meant ‘Get your wellies on!’ It was like every day was national play day.

That wee boy/girl is still inside you. Still bursting with curiosity, still bursting with excitement. Still bursting with magic. The goal is to never let them disappear.

At that age there was nothing actually very hard about being playful. Far too many young people now worry about looking silly or doing something ‘uncool’. We live in a time where we can hide behind screens, heavily influenced by other people's opinions.

More weight is given to tests and grades than ever. We now spend more time than ever in settings where we are directed, protected, catered to, ranked and judged.

When you are playful, you let go of all that.

‘I find it amusing that we’re all pretending to be normal when we could be insanely interesting instead.’

—Atlas