Читать книгу The Physical Life of Woman: Advice to the Maiden, Wife and Mother - George H. Napheys - Страница 40

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The epoch of puberty comes to a boy at about the same age as it does to a girl—fourteen or fifteen years. And an even greater period passes between this epoch and the age it is proper for a man to marry—his age of nubility.

Not only has he a more complete education to obtain, not only a profession or trade to learn, and some property to accumulate, some position to acquire, ere he is ready to take a wife, but his physical powers ripen more slowly than those of woman. He is more tardy in completing his growth, and early indulgence more readily saps his constitution.

We have placed the best age for woman to marry between twenty and twenty-five years; for similar reasons, man is best qualified to become a husband between twenty-three and thirty-three years.

Previous to the twenty-third year, many a man is incapable of producing healthy children. If he does not destroy his health by premature indulgence, he may destroy his happiness by witnessing his children a prey to debility and deformity. An old German proverb says, 'Give a boy a wife, and a child a bird, and death will soon knock at the door.' Even an author so old as Aristotle warns young men against early marriage, under penalty of disease and puny offspring.

From the age of thirty-three to fifty years, men who carefully observe the laws of health do not feel any weight of years. Nevertheless, they are past their prime. Then, also, with advancing years, the chances of life diminish, and the probability increases that they will leave a young family with no natural protector. The half-century once turned, their vigor rapidly diminishes. The marriages they then contract are either sterile, or yield but few and sickly children. Many an old man has shortened his life by late nuptials; and the records of medicine contain accounts of several who perished on the very night of marriage.

The relative age of man and wife is next to be considered. Nature fits woman earlier for marriage, and hints thereby that she should, as a rule, be younger than her husband. So, too, the bard of nature speaks:

'Let still the woman take

An elder than herself; so wears she to him,

So sways she level in her husband's heart.'

The woman who risks her happiness with a man many years younger than herself, violates a precept of life; and when her husband grows indifferent, or taunts her with her years, or seeks companions of more suitable age, she is reaping a harvest sown by her own hand.

So commonly do such matches turn out badly, that in 1828 the kingdom of Würtemberg prohibited unions where the woman was more than twelve years the senior, except by special dispensation.

After forty-five years, most women cannot hope for children. A marriage subsequent to this period can at best be regarded as a close friendship. Marriage in its full meaning has no longer an existence.

The relative age of man and wife has another influence, and quite a curious one. It influences the sex of the children. But this point we reserve for discussion on a later page.

The folly of joining a young girl to an old man is happily not so common in America as in Europe. It would be hard to devise any step more certain to bring the laws of nature and morality into conflict.

'What can a young lassie do wi' an auld man?'

What advice can we give to a woman who barters her youthful charms for the fortune of an aged husband? Shall we be cynical enough to agree with 'auld Auntie Katie?'

'My auld Auntie Katie upon me takes pity;

I'll do my endeavor to follow her plan:

I'll cross him, and rack him, until I heart-break him,

And then his auld brass will buy me a new pan.'

No! She has willingly accepted a responsibility. It is her duty to bear it loyally, faithfully, uncomplainingly to the end.

Let us sum up with the maxim, that the husband should be the senior, but that the difference of age should not be more than ten years.