Читать книгу Rhoda Fleming. Complete - George Meredith - Страница 4

Mr. Fleming kept his forehead from his daughter’s good-night kiss until the room was cleared, after supper, and then embracing her very heartily, he informed her that her uncle had offered to pay her expenses on a visit to London, by which he contrived to hint that a golden path had opened to his girl, and at the same time entreated her to think nothing of it; to dismiss all expectations and dreams of impossible sums from her mind, and simply to endeavour to please her uncle, who had a right to his own, and a right to do what he liked with his own, though it were forty, fifty times as much as he possessed—and what that might amount to no one knew. In fact, as is the way with many experienced persons, in his attempt to give advice to another, he was very impressive in lecturing himself, and warned that other not to succumb to a temptation principally by indicating the natural basis of the allurement. Happily for young and for old, the intense insight of the young has much to distract or soften it. Rhoda thanked her father, and chose to think that she had listened to good and wise things.

“Your sister,” he said—“but we won’t speak of her. If I could part with you, my lass, I’d rather she was the one to come back.”

“Dahlia would be killed by our quiet life now,” said Rhoda.

“Ay,” the farmer mused. “If she’d got to pay six men every Saturday night, she wouldn’t complain o’ the quiet. But, there—you neither of you ever took to farming or to housekeeping; but any gentleman might be proud to have one of you for a wife. I said so when you was girls. And if, you’ve been dull, my dear, what’s the good o’ society? Tea-cakes mayn’t seem to cost money, nor a glass o’ grog to neighbours; but once open the door to that sort o’ thing and your reckoning goes. And what I said to your poor mother’s true. I said: Our girls, they’re mayhap not equals of the Hollands, the Nashaws, the Perrets, and the others about here—no; they’re not equals, because the others are not equals o’ them, maybe.”

The yeoman’s pride struggled out in this obscure way to vindicate his unneighbourliness and the seclusion of his daughters from the society of girls of their age and condition; nor was it hard for Rhoda to assure him, as she earnestly did, that he had acted rightly.

Rhoda, assisted by Mrs. Sumfit, was late in the night looking up what poor decorations she possessed wherewith to enter London, and be worthy of her sister’s embrace, so that she might not shock the lady Dahlia had become.

“Depend you on it, my dear,” said Mrs. Sumfit, “my Dahly’s grown above him. That’s nettles to your uncle, my dear. He can’t abide it. Don’t you see he can’t? Some men’s like that. Others ‘d see you dressed like a princess, and not be satisfied. They vary so, the teasin’ creatures! But one and all, whether they likes it or not, owns a woman’s the better for bein’ dressed in the fashion. What do grieve me to my insidest heart, it is your bonnet. What a bonnet that was lying beside her dear round arm in the po’trait, and her finger up making a dimple in her cheek, as if she was thinking of us in a sorrowful way. That’s the arts o’ being lady-like—look sad-like. How could we get a bonnet for you?”

“My own must do,” said Rhoda.

“Yes, and you to look like lady and servant-gal a-goin’ out for an airin’; and she to feel it! Pretty, that’d be!”

“She won’t be ashamed of me,” Rhoda faltered; and then hummed a little tune, and said firmly—“It’s no use my trying to look like what I’m not.”

“No, truly;” Mrs. Sumfit assented. “But it’s your bein’ behind the fashions what hurt me. As well you might be an old thing like me, for any pleasant looks you’ll git. Now, the country—you’re like in a coalhole for the matter o’ that. While London, my dear, its pavement and gutter, and omnibus traffic; and if you’re not in the fashion, the little wicked boys of the streets themselves ‘ll let you know it; they’ve got such eyes for fashions, they have. And I don’t want my Dahly’s sister to be laughed at, and called ‘coal-scuttle,’ as happened to me, my dear, believe it or not—and shoved aside, and said to—‘Who are you?’ For she reely is nice-looking. Your uncle Anthony and Mr. Robert agreed upon that.”

Rhoda coloured, and said, after a time, “It would please me if people didn’t speak about my looks.”

The looking-glass probably told her no more than that she was nice to the eye, but a young man who sees anything should not see like a mirror, and a girl’s instinct whispers to her, that her image has not been taken to heart when she is accurately and impartially described by him.

The key to Rhoda at this period was a desire to be made warm with praise of her person. She beheld her face at times, and shivered. The face was so strange with its dark thick eyebrows, and peculiarly straight-gazing brown eyes; the level long red under-lip and curved upper; and the chin and nose, so unlike Dahlia’s, whose nose was, after a little dip from the forehead, one soft line to its extremity, and whose chin seemed shaped to a cup. Rhoda’s outlines were harder. There was a suspicion of a heavenward turn to her nose, and of squareness to her chin. Her face, when studied, inspired in its owner’s mind a doubt of her being even nice to the eye, though she knew that in exercise, and when smitten by a blush, brightness and colour aided her claims. She knew also that her head was easily poised on her neck; and that her figure was reasonably good; but all this was unconfirmed knowledge, quickly shadowed by the doubt. As the sun is wanted to glorify the right features of a landscape, this girl thirsted for a dose of golden flattery. She felt, without envy of her sister, that Dahlia eclipsed her: and all she prayed for was that she might not be quite so much in the background and obscure.

But great, powerful London—the new universe to her spirit—was opening its arms to her. In her half sleep that night she heard the mighty thunder of the city, crashing, tumults of disordered harmonies, and the splendour of the lamp-lighted city appeared to hang up under a dark-blue heaven, removed from earth, like a fresh planet to which she was being beckoned.

At breakfast on the Sunday morning, her departure was necessarily spoken of in public. Robert talked to her exactly as he had talked to Dahlia, on the like occasion. He mentioned, as she remembered in one or two instances, the names of the same streets, and professed a similar anxiety as regarded driving her to the station and catching the train. “That’s a thing which makes a man feel his strength’s nothing,” he said. “You can’t stop it. I fancy I could stop a four-in-hand at full gallop. Mind, I only fancy I could; but when you come to do with iron and steam, I feel like a baby. You can’t stop trains.”

“You can trip ‘em,” said Anthony, a remark that called forth general laughter, and increased the impression that he was a man of resources.

Rhoda was vexed by Robert’s devotion to his strength. She was going, and wished to go, but she wished to be regretted as well; and she looked at him more. He, on the contrary, scarcely looked at her at all. He threw verbal turnips, oats, oxen, poultry, and every possible melancholy matter-of-fact thing, about the table, described the farm and his fondness for it and the neighbourhood; said a farmer’s life was best, and gave Rhoda a week in which to be tired of London.

She sneered in her soul, thinking “how little he knows of the constancy in the nature of women!” adding, “when they form attachments.”

Anthony was shown at church, in spite of a feeble intimation he expressed, that it would be agreeable to him to walk about in the March sunshine, and see the grounds and the wild flowers, which never gave trouble, nor cost a penny, and were always pretty, and worth twenty of your artificial contrivances.

“Same as I say to Miss Dahly,” he took occasion to remark; “but no!—no good. I don’t believe women hear ye, when you talk sense of that kind. ‘Look,’ says I, ‘at a violet.’ ‘Look,’ says she, ‘at a rose.’ Well, what can ye say after that? She swears the rose looks best. You swear the violet costs least. Then there you have a battle between what it costs and how it looks.”

Robert pronounced a conventional affirmative, when called on for it by a look from Anthony. Whereupon Rhoda cried out,—

“Dahlia was right—she was right, uncle.”

“She was right, my dear, if she was a ten-thousander. She wasn’t right as a farmer’s daughter with poor expectations.—I’d say humble, if humble she were. As a farmer’s daughter, she should choose the violet side. That’s clear as day. One thing’s good, I admit; she tells me she makes her own bonnets, and they’re as good as milliners’, and that’s a proud matter to say of your own niece. And to buy dresses for herself, I suppose, she’s sat down and she made dresses for fine ladies. I’ve found her at it. Save the money for the work, says I. What does she reply—she always has a reply: ‘Uncle, I know the value of money better. ‘You mean, you spend it,’ I says to her. ‘I buy more than it’s worth,’ says she. And I’ll tell you what, Mr. Robert Armstrong, as I find your name to be, sir; if you beat women at talking, my lord! you’re a clever chap.”

Robert laughed. “I give in at the first mile.”

“Don’t think much of women—is that it, sir?”

“I’m glad to say I don’t think of them at all.”

“Do you think of one woman, now, Mr. Robert Armstrong?”

“I’d much rather think of two.”

“And why, may I ask?”

“It’s safer.”

“Now, I don’t exactly see that,” said Anthony.

“You set one to tear the other,” Robert explained.

“You’re a Grand Turk Mogul in your reasonings of women, Mr. Robert Armstrong. I hope as your morals are sound, sir?”

They were on the road to church, but Robert could not restrain a swinging outburst.

He observed that he hoped likewise that his morals were sound.

“Because,” said Anthony, “do you see, sir, two wives—”

“No, no; one wife,” interposed Robert. “You said ‘think about;’ I’d ‘think about’ any number of women, if I was idle. But the woman you mean to make your wife, you go to at once, and don’t ‘think about’ her or the question either.”

“You make sure of her, do you, sir?”

“No: I try my luck; that is all.”

“Suppose she won’t have ye?”

“Then I wait for her.”

“Suppose she gets married to somebody else?”

“Well, you know, I shouldn’t cast eye on a woman who was a fool.”

“Well, upon my—” Anthony checked his exclamation, returning to the charge with, “Just suppose, for the sake of supposing—supposing she was a fool, and gone and got married, and you thrown back’ard on one leg, starin’ at the other, stupified-like?”

“I don’t mind supposing it,” said Robert. “Say, she’s a fool. Her being a fool argues that I was one in making a fool’s choice. So, she jilts me, and I get a pistol, or I get a neat bit of rope, or I take a clean header with a cannon-ball at my heels, or I go to the chemist’s and ask for stuff to poison rats,—anything a fool’d do under the circumstances, it don’t matter what.”

Old Anthony waited for Rhoda to jump over a stile, and said to her,—

“He laughs at the whole lot of ye.”

“Who?” she asked, with betraying cheeks.

“This Mr. Robert Armstrong of yours.”

“Of mine, uncle!”

“He don’t seem to care a snap o’ the finger for any of ye.”

“Then, none of us must care for him, uncle.”

“Now, just the contrary. That always shows a young fellow who’s attending to his business. If he’d seen you boil potatoes, make dumplings, beds, tea, all that, you’d have had a chance. He’d have marched up to ye before you was off to London.”

“Saying, ‘You are the woman.’” Rhoda was too desperately tickled by the idea to refrain from uttering it, though she was angry, and suffering internal discontent. “Or else, ‘You are the cook,’” she muttered, and shut, with the word, steel bars across her heart, calling him, mentally, names not justified by anything he had said or done—such as mercenary, tyrannical, and such like.

Robert was attentive to her in church. Once she caught him with his eyes on her face; but he betrayed no confusion, and looked away at the clergyman. When the text was given out, he found the place in his Bible, and handed it to her pointedly—“There shall be snares and traps unto you;” a line from Joshua. She received the act as a polite pawing civility; but when she was coming out of church, Robert saw that a blush swept over her face, and wondered what thoughts could be rising within her, unaware that girls catch certain meanings late, and suffer a fiery torture when these meanings are clear to them. Rhoda called up the pride of her womanhood that she might despise the man who had dared to distrust her. She kept her poppy colour throughout the day, so sensitive was this pride. But most she was angered, after reflection, by the doubts which Robert appeared to cast on Dahlia, in setting his finger upon that burning line of Scripture. It opened a whole black kingdom to her imagination, and first touched her visionary life with shade. She was sincere in her ignorance that the doubts were her own, but they lay deep in unawakened recesses of the soul; it was by a natural action of her reason that she transferred and forced them upon him who had chanced to make them visible.