Читать книгу God Had Mercy on Me: The Life & Work of George Müller - George Muller - Страница 21

Feb. 13. These ten days I have been staying in Oxford, though I came only for one or two; but I have stayed to see the Lords hand leading me away from hence. I have now been led to decide on going to Lutterworth to see brother-, to converse with him about accompanying him on a journey to the Continent, with reference to Missionary objects. When I had come to this decision, I took another ride, the horse being well again; but now this formerly quiet horse was self-willed and shy, which does not at all suit me in the weak state of my nervous system. As horse exercise had kept me here longer than I had intended to stay, and as I cannot now ride on this horse which before suited me so well, I see, even in this, in itself, trifling circumstance, a confirmation that I had been right in my decision to leave Oxford.

Feb. 16. Lutterworth. I arrived here on the evening of the 14th. I have been decidedly worse since I have been here, and was obliged again to have recourse to medicine. A brother having strongly recommended me, whilst in Oxford, to go to Leamington on account of my health, and having at the same time offered to pay my expenses during my stay there, and being now so very unwell again, and so near Leamington, I decided to-night upon accepting his kindness, provided that my kind physician in Bristol had no objection.

Feb. 17. Leamington. I left Lutterworth this morning, where I have received much kindness. There was no inside place, and I was very unwell; but the fear of being quite laid up at Lutterworth, and becoming burthensome to those dear saints who had received me into their house though a stranger to them; and having still no desirable medical advice; and the remembrance that the Lord had graciously enabled me, even lately, to travel outside in cold weather; induced me to get on the coach, and I rode off in a heavy fall of snow. But God had mercy. After eight miles ride, at Rugby, I obtained an inside place. The rest of the way was crowned with mercies. I had a room to myself at Southam, found a suitable dinner just ready, had an inside place to Leamington, and was preserved by the way, though the coachman was quite intoxicated, and drove furiously.—I had asked the Lord to let me find a suitable and cheap lodging at Leamington, and the first lodging I saw I took, for which I pay only ten shillings weekly. Thus, a few minutes after my arrival, I sat comfortably at my own fireside. How very kind of the Lord!

Feb. 26. Yesterday and today I have suffered again in my head, though I have been on the whole better since I have taken the Leamington waters. But far more trying has been the internal conflict which I have had. Grace fought against evil suggestions of one kind and another, and prevailed; but it was a very trying season. This was much increased by receiving neither yesterday nor today a letter from my dear wife. Grace sought out for reasons why she had not written; nevertheless it was a very trying season. Today I earnestly prayed to God to send my wife to me, as I feel that by being alone, and afflicted as I am in my bead, and thus fit for little mental employment, Satan gets an advantage over me.

Feb. 27. God has had mercy upon me. The sore and sharp trial, the very bitter conflict is over.—This morning also I received a letter, which ought to have come yesterday, and which showed me that my dear wife had not been remiss in writing. She announced her purpose of coming today, and God, in mercy to me, brought her safely.

March 3. My head has been on the whole better these two weeks, than it has been for several months; but still I am not well. I have walked every day, for the last thirteen days, between three and four hours a day, and by the mercy of God am able to do so, without much fatigue.

March 11. My health is much the same. I am pretty well, but have no mental energy.—I have read during the last weeks once more, with as much or more interest than ever, I. and II. of Samuel, and I. and II. of Kings.-I have now, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, (if brother Craik, to whom I have written, sees no objection, and if my physician thinks it would be beneficial to my health,) to accompany brother—to Germany, that thus; 1, I might aid him by my advice in reference to the object of his journey; 2, that thus, if the Lord will, through the journey and the benefit of my native air, my health might be benefited; and 3, that I might once more have an opportunity of setting the truth before my father and brother.

March 12. I feel quite comfortable in the prospect of going to Germany. I trust it will prove to be as much of God, as it was shown to have been the last time.

March 13. I had a letter today from brother Craik, who thinks it desirable that I should go to Germany, but my physician says that I should not go for a month or two, for that my mind ought not to be burdened. I am in peace, and from this I see that the Lord has made me willing to do His and not my own will. I wrote to brotherthe result of today, and have now left it with him, whether he will wait, or go on the 21st, as he purposes.

March 1420. During these days, as before, I have continued to read the Scriptures with prayer, i. e. turning what I read into prayer, chiefly with a reference to myself. My days generally pass away in peace. It is a trial to me, to have to care so much about my body; but, on the whole, the Lord gives me grace to submit patiently, yet not always. Today I saw again my medical adviser, who wishes me to stay another week.

March 23, Today I received a letter from brother ——. He is not gone, and will wait for me. I have increased assurance that I shall go to Berlin, and have comfort in the thought.

March 24. A few days ago I had particular comfort in meditating on the Lords prayer in Luke (which came in the course of my meditation), after having been tempted to pass it over, as it had been the subject of my meditation a short time before.—Within the last fortnight I have read with meditation and prayer from the 4th to the 12th chapter of the Gospel by Luke.

April 2. For some time I have been getting weary of my stay here. Yesterday I pleaded especially that word Psalm ciii. 13: "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him." I begged God to pity me, and to release me from the necessity of staying any longer at Leamington, if it might be. Today I saw my physician, and he has allowed me to leave. Thus the Lord has granted my request.

April 3. My dear Mary left for Bristol, and I for London, on my way to Germany. I was led to read, this morning, Psalm cxxi. with my dear wife before we separated, which we both felt to be very appropriate to our circumstances.

April 6. This evening I went on board the steamer for Hamburg.

April 7. All the day ill from sea sickness.

April 8. Lords day. I was able to get up this morning, and to take my meals.—Last night I was led to praise God for having made me His child, considering that I was most likely the only one on board that knew Him. This morning, however, I found a sister in the Lord among the passengers, with whom I had much conversation.—At dinner she manifested more grace, in testifying against evil, than I did. At tea time I had grace, in some measure, to speak of Jesus before the company, and to confess Him as my Lord.

April 9. We arrived at Hamburg about one in the morning, having had a most favourable passage of about 48 hours, and at seven I went on shore. It had been repeatedly my prayer, that I might soon find out brother ——, who had gone three days before me to Hamburg; and immediately after my arrival, in answer to prayer, without any difficulty, I found out where he lodged.

April 14. Berlin. We arrived here the evening before last. Having been yesterday and this morning seeking for lodgings, without being able to obtain any that were suitable, I at last became irritated. Surely there was lack of earnest prayer on my part in this matter, and want of patience in waiting the Lords own time, and want of openness, in not telling brother —— that I was tired, and that, on account of my weakness, I was unable thus to go about from place to place. At last the Lord directed us to two suitable rooms, and I feel now again comfortable, in my quiet retirement, after having confessed my sin of irritability to the Lord and to brother ——.

April 1521. We met several times during this week with certain brethren who desire to give themselves to Missionary service, and prayed and read the Scriptures with them, and made such remarks as seemed to be important in connexion with the work. In addition to this we saw the brethren privately at our lodgings, two, three, or four at a time. But I have still felt the great weakness of my mental powers, and have been only able to attend to this work about three hours a day.—Since my arrival here I have had two letters from my dear Mary. Harriet Culliford, one of the Orphans, and formerly one of the most unpromising children, has been removed. She died as a true believer, several of the brethren who saw her being quite satisfied about her state. Surely this pays for much trouble and for much expense! My wife also mentions some fresh instances of the Lords blessing resting upon my Narrative.—I am now, after prayer, this day, April 21, quite sure that I should leave Berlin, and go to my father at once, as the work here is too much for my head.

April 22nd. Confirmation-day of the children in Berlin. The son of the person with whom we lodge was confirmed, and in the evening they had the violin and dancing. How awful!-A few days since I heard that a brother in the Lord, an old friend of mine, and one of the two alluded to in the first part of this Narrative, page 15, was in prison on account of his religious views. This brought afresh before me the privileges which the children of God enjoy in England.—I saw a few days since another brother in prison, who, as an unconverted young man, in the university, was once at a political club, and had his name enrolled, in consequence of this, in the list of the political students. Shortly afterwards he was converted, and gave up all connexion with these political students. He finished his university course and afterwards became a tutor to the sons of a baron. In that family he had been for a considerable time, when one night he was fetched by the police out of his bed and taken to prison, on the ground of this his connexion with the political club three or four years before. [The result was that he was for many months in prison. Now he is a Missionary in the East Indies. I have related this circumstance to remind the reader afresh, that though the Lord freely and fully forgives us all our sins at once when we believe, yet He may allow us to suffer the consequences of them in a greater or less degree.]

April 24. Left Berlin last evening for Magdeburg, Had a long conversation with two deists in the mail. God helped me to make a full confession of His dear Son, in answer to prayer for grace to be enabled to do so. This afternoon I arrived at Heimersleben, the small town where my father lives. Once more then I have met with my dear aged parent, who is evidently fast hastening to the grave, and seems to me not likely to live through the next winter. I arrived just at the time when, the Fair was held in the town. How great, how exceedingly great, the difference in me, as to my feelings respecting such things now, from what they were formerly!

April 2528. Stay at Heimersleben. The Lord has given me both an opportunity and grace to speak more fully, more simply, and more to the heart of my father about the things of God, and in particular about the plan of salvation, than I had ever done before. I trust that, in judgment at least, he is convinced that there is something lacking in him. All the time of my stay here he has been most affectionate. I spoke also fully again to my poor brother, who is now completely living in open sin. Oh to grace what a debtor am I!-Brother Knabe, who was the only believer in Heimersleben, as far as I have been able to learn, died about eighteen months since.

April 28. Today I left for Magdeburg. My father accompanied me about eight miles. Both of us, I think, felt, when about to separate, that we were parting from each other, never again to meet on earth. How would it have cheered the separation on both sides, were my dear father a believer! But it made my heart indeed sad to see him, in all human probability, for the last time, without having Scriptural ground for hope respecting his soul.—I arrived in the afternoon at Magdeburg, and went to a brother, a musician in one of the regiments of that fortress, who is on the point of leaving the army to go to the East Indies as a Missionary. In his lodgings I saw another brother, a private soldier, who lives in the barracks, who told me, on my enquiring, that he goes into the sand cellar, which is perfectly dark, in order to obtain opportunity for secret prayer. How great the privileges of those who may freely have both time and place for retirement; but how great, at the same time, our obligation to improve these opportunities!-This evening at eight I went on board an Elbe-steamer for Hamburg.

April 30. This morning at seven I arrived at Hamburg. Nothing particular happened during the passage, except that we stuck fast, in a shallow part of the river, through the carelessness of one of the sailors; but the Lord heard prayer, and after a little while the steamer could ply again.

May 1. Yesterday and today I spent in an hotel at Hamburg in writing letters. I had also, though staying at an hotel, much real communion with God in reading the Scriptures and in prayer. This evening I embarked for London.

May 4. London. Left Hamburg on the 2nd. Had a fine passage. I have, by the mercy of God, been kept from light and trifling conversation; but I have not confessed the Lord Jesus as plainly as I ought to have done. This afternoon I arrived at the house of my dear friends in London, who received me with their usual kindness. After prayer I see it my duty to leave tomorrow for Leamington, to see my physician there once more, and then to go as soon as I can to Bristol.

May 5. Leamington. Through the mercy of the Lord the journey to Germany, concerning which I had prayed so often, is now over, and I am safely brought back again to this place.—It has been a wet and cold day, but God has in mercy preserved me from injury, though I got wet. I had some conversation with a clergyman on the coach; I confessed the Lord Christ a little, but not plainly enough.—I had asked the Lord to give me a quiet and cheap resting place in my former lodgings, if it might be, and accordingly they were unlet.

May 7. This morning I left Leamington for Bristol. I had grace to confess the Lord Jesus the last part of the way before several merry passengers, and had the honour of being ridiculed for His sake. There are few things in which I feel more entirely dependant upon the Lord, than in confessing Him on such occasions. Sometimes I have, by grace, had much real boldness; but often I have manifested the greatest weakness, doing no more than refraining entirely from unholy conversation, without, however, speaking a single word for Him who toiled beyond measure for me. No other remedy do I know for myself and any of my fellow-saints who are weak, like myself, in this particular, than to seek to have the heart so full of Jesus, and to live so in the realization of what He has done for us, that, without any effort, out of the full heart, we may speak for Him.—I found my dear family in peace.

May 8. This evening I went to the prayer meeting at Gideon. I read Psalm ciii, and was able to thank the Lord publicly for my late affliction. This is the first time that I have taken any part in the public meetings of the brethren, since November 6th, 1837.

May 13. Today I was much helped in expounding the Scriptures publicly. When I began I knew not how the Lord would deal with me, whether I should be able to speak or not, as my head is still very weak. But the Lord helped me. I did not feel any loss of mental power. How gracious of the Lord to allow me again to commence serving Him in the ministry of His word.—[For several months after this I preached, on the whole, with much more enjoyment, and with much more earnestness and prayerfulness, than I did before I was taken ill. I also felt more the solemnity of the work.]

June 11. A stranger called on me, and told me, that, many years ago, he had defrauded two gentlemen of a small sum, and that he wished to restore the same with interest. He also stated that he had read my Narrative, and, feeling confidence in me, he requested me to convey this money to those gentlemen, giving me, at the same time, their names and place of abode. He intrusted me with four sovereigns for each of them. At the same time he gave me one sovereign for myself, as a token of Christian love. I never saw the individual before, nor do I up to this moment know his name. I conveyed this money, however, not by post, as he wished but through two bank orders, in order that thus I might be able to show, should it be needful, that I actually did send the money; for in all such matters it becomes one to act with particular caution.—It may be that this fact will be read by some who have, like this stranger, before their conversion, defrauded certain individuals. If so, let them like him, or like Zaccheus of old, restore what they took, and, if they have the means, with interest, or compound interest.

June 13. Last evening my dear wife was taken ill. Often had I prayed respecting her hour, and now was the time to look out for the answer. She continued in most severe sufferings from a little after nine until midnight. Thus hour after hour passed away, until eleven this morning. Another medical attendant was then called in, at the desire of the one who attended her. At three in the afternoon she was delivered of a still-born child.—The whole of the night I was in prayer, as far as my strength allowed me. I cried at last for MERCY, and God heard.

June 14. My dearest wife is alive, but I am depending upon God for her life every moment. She is in much peace. A sister gave me this evening 5l. on account of dear Marys illness.—[Again we had not thought it well to make pecuniary provision for this time, though at no period of my life had I more abundant means of doing so than during the last few months; but our gracious Father helped us abundantly in this and in other instances, as I shall mention below.]

June 22. Today there was sent to us anonymously, by post, 5l. for our own personal expenses, at this the time of our affliction, when our expenses are so great. The donor accompanied the 5l. note with an affectionate letter to my wife and myself.

July 6. My dear wife, who for more than a fortnight after her delivery was so ill, that the two medical attendants came twice or three times daily, seems now, humanly speaking, likely to recover, and to be given back to me as from the dead. Lord, help me so to receive her!

July 12. From the commencement of the establishment of the Orphan-houses, up to the end of June 1838, the hand of the Lord was seen in the abundance with which He was pleased to supply me with the means for maintaining nearly 100 persons. Now, however, the time is come when "the Father of the fatherless" will show His especial care over them in another way.—The funds, which were this day twelvemonth about 780l., are now reduced to about 20l.; but, thanks be to the Lord, my faith is as strong, or stronger, than it was when we had the larger sum in hand; nor has He at any time, from the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust Him. Nevertheless, as our Lord will be inquired of, and as real faith is manifested as such by leading to prayer, I gave myself to prayer with brother T—— of the Boys Orphan-House, who had called on me, and who, besides my wife, and brother Craik, is the only individual to whom I speak about the state of the funds. While we were praying, an orphan child from Frome was brought, and some believers at Frome, having collected among them 5l., sent this money with the child. Thus we received the first answer at a time of need. We have given notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to give notice for five more, though our funds are so low, hoping that God will look on our necessities. [Observe how gently the Lord dealt with us, in that, when want approached, He helped at once, in immediate answer to prayer, in order thus to increase our confidence in Him; but, at the same time, to prepare us for sharper trials of our faith.]

June 17 and 18. These two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, from 6 to 9 in the evening, to commend publicly to the Lord the Boys Orphan-House. The meetings had been deferred until now, on account of my illness. In the morning of the 18th I expounded, with especial reference to children, 1 Samuel iii., before above 550 children, being our Orphan and Day-School children, and, as many as could come, of those belonging to the Sunday-School. What a great work! What an honour to be allowed to provide Scriptural instruction for so many little ones. Lord, help me to make use of my talents for the benefit of the rising generation, and let me serve my generation according to Thy will!-Our funds for the Orphans are now very low. There are about 20l. in hand, and in a few days 30l. at least will be needed; but I purposely avoided saying any thing about our present necessities, and spoke only, to the praise of God, about the abundance with which our gracious Father, "The Father of the fatherless," has hitherto supplied us. This was done in order that the hand of God, in sending help, may be so much the more clearly seen.

July 22. This evening I was walking in our little garden, meditating on Heb. xiii. 8, "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and for ever." Whilst meditating on His unchangeable love, power, wisdom, &c.—and turning all, as I went on, into prayer respecting myself; and whilst applying likewise His unchangeable love, and power, and wisdom, &c., both to my present spiritual and temporal circumstances:-all at once the present need of the Orphan-Houses was brought to my mind. Immediately I was led to say to myself, Jesus in His love and power has hitherto supplied me with what I have needed for the Orphans, and in the same unchangeable love and power He will provide me with what I may need for the future. A flow of joy came into my soul whilst realizing thus the unchangeableness of our adorable Lord. About one minute after, a letter was brought me, enclosing a bill for 20l. In it was written: "Will you apply the amount of the enclosed bill to the furtherance of the objects of your Scriptural Knowledge Society, or of your Orphan Establishment, or in the work and cause of our Master in any way that He Himself, on your application to Him, may point out to you. It is not a great sum, but it is a sufficient provision for the exigency of today; and it is for todays exigencies, that, ordinarily, the Lord provides. Tomorrow, as it brings its demands, will find its supply, etc." [Of this 20l. I took 10l. for the Orphan fund, and 10l. for the other objects, and was thus enabled to meet the expenses of about 34l. which, in connection with the Orphan-Houses, came upon me within four days afterwards, and which I knew beforehand would come.]

On July 26 sailed from Liverpool for the East Indies, for Missionary service, twelve German brethren and three sisters, as the result of the journey of brother —— and myself to the Continent, in April last.

July 27. Yesterday the funds for the Orphans were reduced to 5l. Blessed be God, my confidence in Him was unshaken! I received yesterday 2l. 13s. Today I was going with my family for change of air to Durdham Down, and thought it well, therefore, to take out any money which there might be in the Orphan-Box in my house. When I opened it, I found a ten pound note and three half crowns. I had been waiting on God for means, both yesterday and today, and thus He has again shown how willing He is to help.

Aug. 6. During this week I shall have to pay again at least 35l. for the Orphans, and have but about 19l. towards it. My eyes are up to the "Father of the fatherless." I believe He will help, though I knew not how.

Aug. 7. How graciously has the Lord again appeared, and that in so short a time! How has he sent help, from altogether unexpected quarters! I have been praying yesterday and today earnestly, beseeching the Lord now to appear, and show His power, that the enemies might not say, "Where is now thy God?" I reminded Him especially, that I had commenced the work that it might be seen, that He, even in our day, is willing to answer prayer, and that the provision for our Orphans might be a visible proof to all around us of this truth. And now observe! Last evening brother Craik told me that 10l. had been given him for the work in our hands; 5l. for the Orphans, and 5l. for the SchoolBibleand Missionary fund. Today, having to pay 25l., and not having quite enough, when I went to brother T—— for the money which he might have received, as I knew that 25s. had been given to him, I took with me the keys of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, to see whether the Lord had sent in a little. I opened the box in the Boys-Orphan-House, and found 1l. 7s. 5 ½d. Immediately after I received from brother T—— 13l. 19s. 10d., the greater part of which, as he told me, had come in within the last few days. Thus our adorable Lord has once more delivered; for I have now even more than enough to meet the current expenses of this week.

Aug. 16. When today the account books of the Boys-Orphan-House were brought, several days sooner than I had expected them, it was found that there was 1l. 6s. 6d. due to the matron. Besides this, money was to be advanced for house-keeping, and there was only 13s. 5 1/2d. in hand. To this one of those connected with the work added 2l. This 2l. 13s. 5 1/2d. was sent to the matron, whilst we were waiting upon God to send more help. In the evening the boxes at the Girls and Infant-Orphan-Houses were opened, and in them was found 3l. 7s. 5 1/2d. Thus the Lord has kindly helped us again for two or three days.

Aug. 18. I have not one penny in hand for the Orphans. In a day or two again many pounds will be needed. My eyes are up to the Lord. Evening. Before this day is over, I have received from a sister 5l. She had some time since put away her trinkets, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans. This morning, whilst in prayer, it came to her mind, I have this 5l., and owe no man any thing, therefore it would be better to give this money at once, as it may be some time, before I can dispose of the trinkets. She therefore brought it, little knowing that there was not a penny in hand, and that I had been able to advance only 4l. l5s. 5d. for housekeeping in the Boys-Orphan-House, instead of the usual 10l.; little knowing also, that within a few days many pounds more will be needed. May my soul be greatly encouraged by this fresh token of my gracious Lords faithfulness!

Aug. 20. The 5l. which I had received on the 18th, had been given for house-keeping, so that today I was again penniless. But my eyes were up to the Lord. I gave myself to prayer this morning, knowing that I should want again this week at least 13l., if not above 20l. Today I received 12l. in answer to prayer, from a lady who is staying at Clifton, whom I had never seen before. Adorable Lord, grant that this may be a fresh encouragement to me.

Aug. 23. Today I was again without one single penny, when 3l. was sent from Clapham, with a box of new clothes for the Orphans.

Aug. 29. Today sixteen believers were baptized. Of all the baptisms which we have had, this was, perhaps, the most remarkable. Among those who were baptized was an aged brother of above 84 years, and one above 70. For the latter his believing wife had prayed 38 years, and at last the Lord answered her prayers in his conversion. Should any believer who may read this, be on the point of growing weary in prayer for his unconverted relatives, because of the answer being delayed, the above fact may be instrumental in stirring up such a one to give himself to prayer with renewed earnestness and strengthened expectation. "In due season we shall reap, if we faint not." There were also amongst those who were baptized a blind brother and sister, and two very young persons.

Aug. 31. I have been waiting on the Lord for means, as the matrons books from the Girls-Orphan-House have been brought, and there is no money in hand to advance for house-keeping. But as yet the Lord has not been pleased to send help. As the matron called today for money, one of the labourers gave 2l. of his own, for the present necessities.

Sept. 1. The Lord in His wisdom and love has not yet sent help. Whence it is to come, need not be my care. But I believe God will, in due time, send help. His hour is not yet come. As there was money needed in the Boys-Orphan-House also, the same brother, just alluded to, gave 2l. for that also. Thus we were delivered at this time likewise. But now his means are gone. This is the most trying hour that as yet I have had in the work, as it regards means; but I know that I shall yet praise the Lord for His help. I have mentioned my arguments before Him, and my gracious Lord, "the Father of the fatherless," will send help.

Sept. 3. This morning the Lord again helped by 2l., which another labourer connected with the work gave. This 2l., together with sixpence which had been given anonymously, was sent off to the Girls-Orphan-House, where all the money must be gone. There came in further 1l. 14s. 8d. in the course of the day, which was given to the matron of the Boys-Orphan-House.

Sept. 5. Our hour of trial continues still. The Lord mercifully has given enough to supply our daily necessities; but He gives by the day now, and almost by the hour, as we need it. Nothing came in yesterday. I have besought the Lord again and again, both yesterday and today. It is as if the Lord said: "Mine hour is not yet come." But I have faith in God. I believe that He surely will send help, though I know not whence it is to come. Many pounds are needed within a few days, and there is not a penny in hand. This morning 2l. was given for the present necessities, by one of the labourers in the work.—Evening: This very day the Lord sent again some help to encourage me to continue to wait on Him, and to trust in Him. As I was praying this afternoon respecting the matter, I felt fully assured that the Lord would send help, and praised Him beforehand for His help, and asked Him to encourage our hearts through it. I have been also led yesterday and today to ask the Lord especially, that He would not allow my faith to fail. A few minutes after I had prayed, brother T—— came and brought 4l. 1s. 5d., which had come in, in several small donations. He told me, at the same time, that tomorrow the books will be brought from the Infant-Orphan-House, when money must be advanced for housekeeping. I thought for a moment, it might be well to keep 3l. of this money for that purpose. But it occurred to me immediately, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." The Lord can provide, by tomorrow, much more than I need, and I therefore sent 3l. to one of the sisters, whose quarterly salary was due, and the remaining 1l. 1s. 5d. to the Boys-Orphan-House for housekeeping. Thus I am still penniless. My hope is in God: He will provide.

Sept. 6. This morning the books were brought from the Infant-Orphan-House, and the matron sent to ask when she should fetch them, implying, when they would have been looked over, and when money would be advanced for housekeeping. I said "tomorrow," though I had not a single penny in hand. About an hour after, brother T—— sent me a note, to say that he had received 1l. this morning, and that last evening a brother had sent 29lbs. of salt, 44 dozen of onions, and 26lbs. of groats.

Sept. 7. The time had come that I had to send money to the Infant-Orphan-House, but the Lord had not sent any more. I gave, therefore, the 1l. which had come in yesterday, and 2s. 2d. which had been put into the box in my house, trusting to the good Lord to send in more.

Sept. 8. Saturday evening. I am still in the hour of probation. It has not pleased my gracious Lord to send me help as yet.—The evening before last I heard brother Craik preach on Genesis xii., about Abrahams faith. He showed how all went on well, as long as Abraham acted in faith, and walked according to the will of God; and how all failed when he distrusted God. Two points I felt particularly important in my case. 1. That I may not go any by-ways, or ways of my own, for deliverance. I have about 220l. in the bank, which, for other purposes in the Lords work, has been entrusted to me by a brother and a sister. I might take of this money, and say but to the sister—and write but to the brother, that I have taken, in these my straits, 20l., 50l., or 100l., for the Orphans, and they would be quite satisfied (for both of them have liberally given for the Orphans, and the brother has more than once told me, only to let him know when I wanted money;) but this would be a deliverance of my own, not Gods deliverance. Besides, it would be no small barrier to the exercise of faith, in the next hour of trial. 2. I was particularly reminded afresh, in hearing brother Craik, of the danger of dishonouring the Lord in that very way in which I have, through His grace, in some small measure brought glory to Him, even by trusting in Him.—Yesterday and today I have been pleading with God eleven arguments, why He would be graciously pleased to send help. My mind has been in peace respecting the matter. Yesterday the peace amounted even to joy in the Holy Ghost But this I must say, that the burden of my prayer, during the last days, has been chiefly, that the Lord in mercy would keep my faith from failing. My eyes are up to Him. He can help soon. One thing I am sure of: In His own way, and in His own time He will help. The arguments which I plead with God are:

1. That I set about the work for the glory of God, i e. that there might be a visible proof, by God supplying, in answer to prayer only, the necessities of the Orphans, that He is the living God, and most willing, even in our day, to answer prayer; and that, therefore, He would be pleased to send supplies.

2. That God is the "Father of the fatherless," and that He, therefore, as their Father, would be pleased to provide. Psalm lxviii. 5.

3. That I have received the children in the name of Jesus, and that, therefore, He, in these children, has been received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that, therefore, He would be pleased to consider this. Mark ix. 36, 37.

4. That the faith of many of the children of God has been strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if God were to withhold the means for the future, those who are weak in faith would be staggered; whilst by a continuance of means, their faith might still further be strengthened.

5. That many enemies would laugh, were the Lord to withhold supplies, and say, did we not foretell that this enthusiasm would come to nothing?

6. That many of the children of God, who are uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselves justified to continue their alliance with the world in the work of God, and to go on as heretofore, in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar institutions, so far as the obtaining of means is concerned, if He were not to help me.

7. That the Lord would remember that I am His child, and that He would graciously pity me, and remember that I cannot provide for these children, and that therefore He would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without sending help.

8. That He would remember likewise my fellow-labourers in the work, who trust in Him, but who would be tried were He to withhold supplies.

9. That He would remember that I should have to dismiss the children from under our Scriptural instruction to their former companions.

10. That He would show, that those were mistaken who said, that, at the first, supplies might be expected, while the thing was new, but not afterwards.

11. That I should not know, were He to withhold means, what construction I should put upon all the many most remarkable answers to prayer, which He had given me heretofore in connexion with this work, and which most fully have shown to me that it is of God.

In some small measure I now understand, experimentally, the meaning of that word "how long," which so frequently occurs in the prayers of the Psalms. But even now, by the grace of God, my eyes are up unto Him only, and I believe that He will send help.

Sept. 10. Monday morning. Neither Saturday nor yesterday had any money come in. It appeared to me now needful to take some steps on account of our need, i.e., to go to the Orphan Houses, call the brethren and sisters together, (who, except brother T——, had never been informed about the state of the funds), state the case to them, see how much money was needed for the present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith I still believed that God would help, and to pray with them. Especially, also, I meant to go for the sake of telling them that no more articles must be purchased than we have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing lacking in any way to the children, as it regards nourishing food and needful clothing; for I would rather at once send them away than that they should lack. I meant to go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of being sold, or whether there were any articles really needless, that we might turn them into money. I felt that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis.—About half-past nine six-pence came in, which had been put anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel. This money seemed to me like an earnest, that God would have compassion and send more. About ten, after I had returned from brother Craik, to whom I had unbosomed my heart again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the Orphans, stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come, and that she had delayed coming already too long. A few minutes after, when I went into the room where she was, she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without knowing the least about our need. Thus the Lord most mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encouragement of my faith. A few minutes after I was called on for money from the Infant-Orphan-House, to which I sent 2l., and 1l. 0s. 6d. to the Boys-Orphan-House, and 1l. to the Girls-Orphan-House.

Brother Craik left Bristol today for a few days in company with another brother. I should have gone with them for the sake of obtaining some quiet for my head; but I must remain, to pass with my dear Orphans through the trial; though these dear little ones know nothing about it, because their tables are as well supplied as when there was 800l. in the bank, and they have lack of nothing.

Today I saw a young brother who, as well as one of his sisters, had been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through my Narrative.

Sept. 11. The good Lord, in His wisdom, still sees it needful to keep us very low. But this afternoon brother T—— called, and told me that one of our fellow-labourers had sold his metal watch, and two gold pins, for 1l. 1s., that 9s. 6d. had come in, and that two of our fellow-labourers had sent two lots of books of their own, 19 and 21 in number, to be sold for the Orphans. What an abundant blessing, that in such a season of trial I have such fellow-labourers! This 1l. 10s. 6d. was given to the Boys-Orphan-House.

Sept. 12. Still the trial continues. Only 9s. came in today, given by one of the labourers. In the midst of this great trial of faith the Lord still mercifully keeps me in great peace. He also allows me to see, that our labour is not in vain; for yesterday died Leah Culliford, one of the orphans, about 9 years old, truly converted, and brought to the faith some months before her departure.

Sept. 13. No help has come yet. This morning found it was absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters about the state of the funds, and to give necessary directions as to not going into debt, etc. We prayed together, and had a very happy meeting. They all seemed comfortable 12s. 6d. was taken out of the boxes in the three houses, 12s. one of the labourers gave, and 1l. 1s. had come in for needlework done by the children.

One of the sisters, who is engaged in the work, sent a message after me, not to trouble myself about her salary, for she should not want any for a twelvemonth. What a blessing to have such fellow-labourers!

Sept. 14. I met again this morning with the brethren and sisters for prayer, as the Lord has not yet sent help. After prayer one of the labourers gave me all the money he had, 16s., saying that it would not be upright to pray, if he were not to give what he had. One of the sisters told me, that in six days she would give 6l., which she had in the Savings Bank for such a time of need. God be praised for such fellow-labourers!-Up to this day the matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of paying the bakers and the milkman weekly, because they had preferred to receive the payments in this way, and sometimes it had thus been also with the butcher and grocer. But now, as the Lord deals out to us by the day, we considered it would be wrong to go on any longer in this way, as the weeks payment might become due, and we have no money to meet it; and thus those with whom we deal might be inconvenienced by us, and we be found acting against the commandment of the Lord, "Owe no man anything." Rom. xiii. 8. From this day, and hence-forward, whilst the Lord gives to us our supplies by the day, we purpose therefore to pay at once for every article as it is purchased, and never to buy anything except we can pay for it at once, however much it may seem to be needed, and however much those with whom we deal may wish to be paid only by the week. The little which was owed was paid off this day.—When I came home I found a large parcel of new clothes, which had been sent from Dublin for the Orphans, a proof that tire Lord remembers us still. We met again in the evening for prayer. We were of good cheer, and still BELIEVE that the Lord will supply our need.

Sept. 15. Saturday. We met again this morning for prayer. God comforts our hearts. We are looking for help. I found that there were provisions enough for today and tomorrow, but there was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, in order that the children might not have newly baked bread. This afternoon one of the labourers, who had been absent for several days from Bristol, returned, and gave 1l. This evening we met again for prayer, when I found that 10s. 6d. more had come in since the morning. With this 1l. 10s. 6d. we were able to buy, even this Saturday evening, the usual quantity of bread, (as it might be difficult to get stale bread on Monday morning,) and have some money left. God be praised, who gave us grace to come to the decision not to take any bread today, as usual, nor to buy any thing for which we cannot pay at once. We were very comfortable, thankfully taking this money out of our Fathers hands, as a proof that He still cares for us, and that, in His own time, He will send us larger sums.

Today, a brother kindly paid the bill for medical attendance on my dear wife during her confinement. The same brother also had paid, some weeks since, the second medical attendant, who was called in. Thus the Lord, in various ways, sends help to us, showing continually His fatherly care over us.

Sept. 16. Lords day afternoon. We met again for prayer respecting supplies for the Orphans. We are in peace, and our hope is in God, that He graciously will appear, though but one shilling has come in since last evening.

Sept. 17. The trial still continues. It is now more and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. Truly, the Lord has wise purposes in allowing us to call so long upon Him for help. But I am sure God will send help, if we can but wait. One of the labourers had had a little money come in, of which he gave 12s. 6d.; another labourer gave 11s. 8d., being all the money she had left: this, with 17s. 6d., which, partly, had come in, and, partly, was in hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has been lacking. This evening I was rather tried respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led to go to the Scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by the xxxivth Psalm, so that I went very cheerfully to meet with my dear fellow-labourers for prayer. I read to them the Psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the precious promises contained in it.

Sept. 18. Brother T. had 25s. in hand, and I had 3s. This 1l. 8s. enabled us to buy the meat and bread, which was needed; a little tea for one of the houses, and milk for all; no more than this is needed. Thus the Lord has provided not only for this day, but there is bread for two days in hand. Now, however, we are come to an extremity. The funds are exhausted. The labourers, who had a little money, have given as long as they had any left.—Now observe how the Lord helped us! A lady from the neighbourhood of London who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days since in Bristol, and took lodgings next door to the Boys Orphan-House. This afternoon she herself kindly brought me the money, amounting to 3l. 2s. 6d. We had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those things which could be spared; but this morning I had asked the Lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity of our doing so. That the money had been so near the Orphan-Houses for several days without being given, is a plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of God to help us; but, because He delights in the prayers of His children, He had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and to make the answer so much the sweeter. It is indeed a precious deliverance. I burst out into loud praises and thanks the first moment I was alone, after I had received the money. I met with my fellow-labourers again this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. This money was this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all that will be needed tomorrow.

Sept. 20. Morning. The Lord has again kindly sent in a little. Last evening was given to me 1s. 6d., and this morning 1l. 3s. Evening. This evening the Lord sent still further supplies; 8l. 11s. 2 1/2d. came in, as a further proof that the Lord is not unmindful of us. There was in the box of the Girls Orphan-House 1l. 1s., and in that of the Boys Orphan-House 1l. 7s. 2 1/2d. One of the labourers, in accordance with her promise this day week, gave 6l. 3s. About eighteen months ago she saw it right no longer to have money for herself in the Savings Bank, and she therefore, in her heart, gave the money which she had there to the Orphan-Houses, intending to draw it in a time of need. Some time since (she told me this evening) she drew a part of it to buy several useful articles for the Orphan-Houses; now the sum was reduced to 6l. When she found out the present need, she went this day week to the Savings Bank, and gave notice that she wished to draw her money today. Truly, as long as God shall be pleased to give me such fellow-labourers, His blessing will rest upon the work! This 8l. 11s. 2 1/2d. was divided this evening to supply the three houses, and we thanked God, unitedly, for His help.

Sept. 22. Both yesterday and today we have again assembled for prayer and praise. We are in no immediate want, but on the 29th 19l. 10s. will be due for the rent of the three Orphan-Houses.—Today there was only 4s. 7d. in hand for the other objects of the Institution, though it was the pay-day for some of the teachers. My comfort was the living God. During this week He had helped me so repeatedly and in such a remarkable way, as it regards the Orphan-Houses, that it would have been doubly sinful not to have trusted in Him for help under this fresh difficulty. No money came in this morning. About two, the usual time when the teachers are paid, a sovereign was given, with which I went immediately to brother T. (who attends to this part of the work), to pay at least in part, the weekly salaries. I found that he had received a sovereign in the morning. By means of this sovereign, together with the one which I had received just at the moment when it was needed, we were helped through this day.

Sept. 25. Yesterday and the previous days we have continued to assemble for prayer. In four days the rent for the Orphan-Houses will be due, and we have nothing towards it; also, the housekeeping money in the three houses is now again gone. May the Lord have compassion on us, and continue to send us help! A little came in this morning: there was found 9s. 6d. in the box in my house.

Sept. 27. The 9s. 6d. which came in the day before yesterday, was given to the Infant-Orphan-House. Thus we were helped through that day and yesterday. There was every thing that was needed in the three houses; I had made particular enquiry; there was meat even for today. We met yesterday again for prayer. Today I was not able to go, on account of indisposition; I sent, therefore, to brother T. to request him to divide the l8s. 6d., (10s. of which had come in last evening, and 8s. 6d. of which we had in hand), between the three matrons. This afternoon I hear of a fresh deliverance which the Lord has wrought. About five weeks ago, a farmer applied for the admission of an orphan-girl, his grand-daughter. As I knew, however, that he had the means of providing for her, and as our Institution is only for destitute orphans, I informed him that the child could only be received, on condition of his paying 10l. a year for her support, (which is about the average expense for the younger girls), and this, quarterly, in advance.4 This morning he came, brought the child, and paid 2l. 10s. in advance, and gave 1l. besides. Thus the Lord has again most seasonably helped us in this our time of need. May He keep the memory of these deliverances alive in our souls, and increase our confidence in Him by every fresh one! In less than two days we have to pay 19l. 10s. for rent! May the Lord keep us looking to Him, and mercifully send help!

Sept. 29. Saturday evening. Prayer has been made for several days past respecting the rent, which is due this day. I have been looking out for it, though I knew not whence a shilling was to come. This morning brother T. called on me, and, as no money had come in, we prayed together, and continued in supplication from ten till a quarter to twelve. Twelve oclock struck (the time when the rent ought to have been paid), but no money had been sent. For some days past I have repeatedly had a misgiving, whether the Lord might not disappoint us, in order that we might be led to provide by the week, or the day, for the rent. This is the second, and only the second, complete failure as to answers of prayer in the work, during the past four years and six months. The first was about the half-yearly rent of Castle-Green school-room, due July 1, 1837, which had come in only in part by that time. I am now fully convinced that the rent ought to be put by daily or weekly, as God may prosper us, in order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testimony. May the Lord, then, help us to act accordingly; and may He now mercifully send in the means to pay the rent!—Whilst in this matter our prayers have failed, either to humble us, or to show us how weak our faith is still, or to teach us, (which seems to me the most probable,) that we ought to provide the rent beforehand; the Lord has given us again fresh proofs, even this day, that He is mindful of us. There was not money enough in the Girls-Orphan-House to take in bread, (we give the bread to the children on the third day after it is baked); but before the baker came, a lady called who had had some needlework done by the children, and paid 3s. 11d., and thus the matron was able to take in bread as usual. I found this morning 2s. in the box in my house, our extremity having led me to look into it. One of the labourers gave 13s. This 15s. was divided amongst the three matrons. Thanks to the Lord, there is all which is needed for today and tomorrow.

Sept. 30. We are not only poor as regards the Orphan-fund, but also the funds for the other objects bring us again and again to the Lord for fresh supplies. Today, when we had not a single penny in hand, 5l. was given for the other objects.

Oct. 2. Tuesday evening. The Lords holy name be praised! He hath dealt most bountifully with us during the last three days! The day before yesterday 5l. came in for the Orphans. Of this I gave to each house 10s. which supplied them before the provisions were consumed. Oh! how kind is the Lord. Always, before there has been actual want, He has sent help. Yesterday came in 1l. 10s. more. This 1l. 10s., with 4s. 2d. in hand, was divided for present necessities. Thus the expenses of yesterday, for housekeeping, were defrayed. The Lord helped me also to pay yesterday the 19l. 10s. for the rent. The means for it were thus obtained. One of the labourers had received through his family 10l., and 5l. besides from a sister in the Lord; also some other money. Of this he gave 16l., which, with the 3l. 10s. that was left of the above-mentioned 5l., which came in the day before yesterday, made up 19l. 10s., the sum which was needed.

—This day we were again greatly reduced. There was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, for the Boys and Infant Orphan-Houses, but again the Lord helped. A sister who had arrived this afternoon from Swansea brought 1l. 7s., and one of the labourers sold an article, by means of which he was able to give 1l. 13s. Thus we had 3l.:-1l. for each house, and could buy bread before the day was over. Hitherto we have lacked nothing!

Oct. 4. Thursday. The money of Tuesday helped us through yesterday. Today, when again all was gone, and help was greatly needed, our loving Lord appeared. The books which had been given some time since, by some of my fellow-labourers, were sold for 11s., also an old bedstead for 2s. 6d., and an old sofa for 10s. The boxes were also opened, as I had been told some money had been put in, and 9s. 1d. was found in them. This money was a fresh encouragement to us in our need. By this 1l. 12s. 7d. we were helped through the day.

Oct. 5. This morning, just before I was going to the Orphan-Houses to meet with the brethren and sisters for prayer, 1l. 3s. was brought from Teignmouth. This money seems to have been given some months since to a brother at Teignmouth, but it did not reach me until today. It is a most seasonable help, to defray the expenses of this day, and a fresh proof, that not in anger, but only for the trial of our faith, our gracious Lord delays as yet, to send larger sums.

Oct. 6. Saturday. The Lord has again most kindly helped us. It came to my mind that there were some new blankets in the Orphan-Houses, which had been given some time since, but which are not needed, and might therefore be sold. I was confirmed in this by finding that the moth had got into one pair. I therefore sold ten pairs, having a good opportunity to do so. Thus the Lord not only supplied again our present need for the three houses, but I was also able to put by the rent for this week and the next, acting out the light which He had given us this day week. There came in 9s. 6d., besides 7l. for the blankets. The School fund, also, was again completely exhausted, when today and yesterday came in so much, that not only the weekly salaries could be paid today, but also above 1l. could be put by for rent.

Oct. 9. Through the last-mentioned supplies for the Orphans we were helped up to this day; but today we were brought lower than ever. The provisions would have lasted out only today, and the money for milk in one of the houses could only be made up by one of the labourers selling one of his books. The matron in the Boys-Orphan-House had this morning two shillings left. When in doubt whether to buy bread with it, or more meat, to make up the dinner with the meat which she had in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of bread as a present. In this great need, some money having been given to one of the labourers, he gave 2l. of it, by which we were able to buy meat, bread, and other provisions. Nevertheless even this day, low as we had been brought, before this 2l. was given, there had been all in the house that was needed.

Oct. 10. The Lord had sent in so much since yesterday afternoon, that we were able at our meeting this morning to divide 2l. 0s. 2d. between the three matrons, whereby we are helped through this day. But now the coals in the Infant-Orphan-House are out, and nearly so in the other two houses. Also the treacle casks in all the three houses are nearly empty. On this account we have asked the Lord for fresh supplies.

Oct. 11. The "Father of the fatherless" has again shown his care over us. An Orphan from Devonshire arrived last evening. With her was sent 2l. 5s. 6d. The sister who brought her gave also a silver tea-pot, sugar-basin, and cream jug (of the weight of 48 oz.), having found true riches in Christ. There was also in the boxes 9s. One of the labourers paid for a ton of coals. We obtained 16l. 16s. for the silver articles.—Thus we were helped through the heavy expenses of the following days.

Oct. 12. Today seven brethren and sisters were added to us in fellowship, and eight were proposed. May the Lord send helpers for the work!

Oct. 13. For three months past the Orphan fund has been low, yet hitherto we have lacked nothing!

Oct. 15. I knew that there would be money needed this morning, for many things in the Orphan-Houses, and my heart was therefore lifted up to the Lord. Just when I was going to meet my fellow labourers for prayer, I received from Trowbridge 4l. There had come in also at the Orphan-Houses 7s. 3d. To this one of the labourers added 1l. Thus I was enabled abundantly to supply all that was wanted, and to pay for a cask of treacle and a ton of coals. We are now, however, cast again on the love of our Lord for further supplies, as there is neither any thing in hand, nor have the labourers any more of their own to give.

Oct. 16. The day commenced with mercies. I was looking up to the Lord for help, early this morning, when, almost immediately afterwards, brother T. came, and brought two silver table-spoons, and six tea-spoons, which had been left, anonymously, yesterday afternoon, at the Girls-Orphan-House. This afternoon I received 12l. from Staffordshire. On the seal of the letter, which enclosed the money, was "Ebenezer." How true in our case! Surely this instance is a fresh "Ebenezer" to us; for hitherto the Lord has helped us.—There was also found a half sovereign in the box at my house. Also a lady left 5s. at the door of the Girls-Orphan-House, with about 200 pears for the children; and a brother sent 2s., the first fruits of the increase of his wages. Thus I was able to give a larger supply than usual to the matrons.

Oct. 22. Today our funds were again quite low. In the Infant-Orphan-House only 2d. was left, and very little in the other two houses. But the Lord most manifestly again answered prayer. A gentleman from London, who is greatly interested about destitute and neglected children, came over from Bath with two of his sisters to see the Orphan-Houses. He gave 1l. There was 2s. 6d. put into the box at my house, and 6d. anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel. With this 1l. 3s. I went directly to the Orphan-Houses to relieve the present need. Whilst I was there, the Lord gave still further supplies; for being informed that in the morning some ladies had seen the houses, and put money into the boxes, I opened them and found 3l. 0s. ld. Thus the Lord, by means of this 4l. 3s. 1d., helped us through the necessities of this day.

Oct. 23. The Lord again sent above 2l., which supplied this days necessities.

Oct. 24. Today the Lord sent from a most unexpected quarter 5l. The money was given by a relative of two children in the Boys-Orphan-House. Thus we are helped for two days, and are able to put by the rent for this week.

Oct. 27. Saturday. This day we have been again mercifully helped, though our need has been almost greater than ever. But, thanks to our adorable Lord! this day also we have not been confounded; for there was 6s. in the box at the Infant-Orphan-House, and 6s. came in for things which had been given to be sold. To this one of the labourers added 18s. By means of this 1l. 10s. we have been able to meet all pressing demands, and to procure provisions for today and tomorrow.

Oct. 29. Monday. The Lord has again given us this day our daily bread, though, in the morning, there was not the least natural prospect of obtaining supplies. One of the labourers, who had received some money for his own personal expenses, gave 2l. Some things also, which had been given for sale, had been sold for 18s.; and 6d. had been put into the box at Gideon Chapel This 2l. 18s. 6d. enabled us to meet the expenses of this day. There were also many articles of worn clothes sent.

Oct. 30. This has been again a day of peculiar mercies in reference to the funds. Whilst I was in prayer respecting them, a brother brought 2 1/4 yards of cloth. He had bought it for himself, but, afterwards considering that he had sufficient clothes, he gave it to be sold for the Orphans. This evening a sister gave me 20l., ten of which were for the Orphans, and ten for the other objects. Thus we are helped for this week.

Nov. 4. Lords day. There was given, by a stranger, last Wednesday evening, at Bethesda Chapel, to one of the sisters, a sovereign for the Orphans, which I received today. Thus the Lord has again begun the week with mercy, and His love surely will help us through it, though again many pounds will be needed.

Nov. 5. Monday. By means of the sovereign which had come in yesterday, and several small donations today and on the past days, together with 2l. 10s. which one of the labourers added of his own, 6l. 2s. 6d. was divided this day between the three matrons, which will supply their need for two days at least.

Nov. 7. The funds are now again completely exhausted. Today I divided 1l. 3s. 8d., which had come in yesterday; thus the necessary wants were supplied. The Lord be praised who has helped us hitherto! One of the Orphans was sent today to service, and the Lord enabled us to give her a suitable outfit.

Nov. 8. Last evening 1l. 4s. came in, which, being divided between the three houses, helped us through this day.

Nov. 10. Saturday. All seemed to be dark, so far as regards natural appearances, at the commencement of this day. But through this day also the Lord has helped us, and enabled us to meet all demands. In the course of the day came in 1l. 8s. 6d. To this two of the labourers added 10s. each, and thus we were brought to the close of one more week, having been able to supply the necessities of 97 persons in the Orphan-Houses, without owing any thing.

Nov. 12. Monday. Sixpence came in this morning, to which one of the labourers added 10s. 6d., to meet the most pressing necessities. This evening I found the 1l. was not enough to take in bread for the Boys-Orphan-House. The Lord gave us, however, before the day was over, enough to buy the usual quantity of bread; for there was found in the boxes 5s. 9d. and a pair of small gold earrings.

Nov. 13. This morning our want was again great. I have 20l. in hand which has been put by for rent, but, for the Lords honour, I would not take of it. Nothing had come in, and the labourers had scarcely any thing to give. I went, however, to the Orphan-Houses, to pray with my fellow labourers, and, if it might be, to comfort them, and see what could be done. When I came there, I found that 19s. 6d. had come in this morning. On enquiry I heard that only 2s. 6d. more was needed to carry us through the day. This one of the labourers was able to add of his own. Thus the Lord has again helped us out of our difficulty. One of the labourers gave some things which he could do without, and another gave a workbox to be sold for the Orphans.—Before this day has come to an end, the Lord has sent in 1l. 2s. 4d. more, so that we have also a little for tomorrow.

Nov. 15. The money which had come in the day before yesterday, supplied the necessities of yesterday also; but today we were brought again very low. I went to the Orphan-Houses, to pray with my fellow-labourers, not without hope that the Lord might have appeared, and sent a little help. When I arrived I found that one of the labourers had sold a few of his books, together with two which had been given by another labourer on the 13th, for which he had received 7s. To this one of the labourers added 7s. 9d. This 14s. 9d. supplied the most pressing necessities. When I came home I found 1s. in the box at my house, and soon after received 5s. for a pair of fire screens, which had been given for sale. There were also three baskets of potatoes sent to the three different houses. A sack of potatoes had been ordered, but the brother, who had been desired to bring them, could not conveniently do so today, and thought, as this present had been ordered from him, there would be no immediate need of them; and Oh! how kind of the Lord to order it thus: for had he brought them, the payment would have taken away the money which was intended for the usual quantity of bread. But before the day was over, the Lord helped still further. In the afternoon a gentleman from Bath called at the Boys-Orphan-House, and gave a cheque for 3l. There was also 1s. given; 2s. 6d. came in for needle-work, and 5s. 6d. for things sold. Thus altogether 4l. 4s. 9d. has been sent by the Lord this day.

Nov. 17. Saturday. Today above 3l. was needed, and as only 15s. 6d. had come in, we found it needful to determine to dispose of a few articles of furniture which we conveniently could do without. One of the labourers gave a good watch to be sold, which she had bought some months since, there being then no time-piece in one of the houses. In consideration of these articles to be sold, I took, for the present necessities of the Orphans, 2l. 10s. of the money which had been put by for the rent, to be replaced when these articles could be sold at a suitable opportunity. Thus we were helped to the close of one more week.

Nov. 19. Today we were again in great need. There had come in only 7s. 6d. for needle-work. The Lord had, however, given to one of the labourers a little money, of which he gave 15s., by means of which we were helped through this day also.

Nov. 20. Today our need was exceedingly great, but the Lords help was great also. I went to meet with the brethren and sisters as usual. I found that 1l. would be needed to supply the necessities of today, but 3s. only had come in. Just when we were going to pray, one of the labourers came in, who, after prayer, gave 10s. Whilst we were praying, another labourer came in, who had received 1l. Thus we had 1l. 13s.; even more, therefore, than was absolutely needed.

Nov. 21. Never were we so reduced in funds as today. There was not a single halfpenny in hand between the matrons of the three houses. Nevertheless there was a good dinner, and, by managing so as to help one another with bread, etc., there was a prospect of getting over this day also; but for none of the houses had we the prospect of being able to take in bread. When I left the brethren and sisters at one oclock, after prayer, I told them that we must wait for help, and see how the Lord would deliver us at this time. I was sure of help, but we were indeed straitened. When I came to Kingsdown, I felt that I needed more exercise, being very cold; wherefore I went not the nearest way home, but round by Clarenceplace. About twenty yards from my house, I met a brother who walked back with me, and after a little conversation gave me 10l. to be handed over to the brethren, the deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coals, blankets and warm clothing; also 5l. for the Orphans, and 5l. for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. The brother had called twice while I was gone to the Orphan-Houses, and had I now been one half minute later, I should have missed him. But the Lord knew our need, and therefore allowed me to meet him. I sent off the 5l. immediately to the matrons.

Nov. 23. The above-mentioned 5l., with an addition of 11s. 6d. which had also come in, helped us through the expenses of yesterday and today.

Nov. 24. This again has been a very remarkable day. We had as little in hand this morning as at any time, and yet several pounds were needed. But God, who is rich in mercy, and whose word so positively declares that none who trust in Him shall be confounded, has helped us through this day also. While I was in prayer, about ten in the morning, respecting the funds, I was informed that a gentleman had called to see me. He came to inform me that a lady had ordered three sacks of potatoes to be sent to the Orphan Houses. Never could they have come more seasonably. This was an encouragement to me, to continue to expect help. When I came to the prayer meeting about 12 oclock, I heard that 2s. had come in, also 1l. for a guitar, which had been given for sale. The payment for this guitar had been expected for many weeks. It had been mentioned among us, repeatedly, that it might come just at a time, when we most needed it: and oh! how true. Also the watch which had been given was sold for 2l. 10s. But with all this we could not have put by the rents for this week, amounting to 30s. One of the labourers, therefore, gave his watch to the Orphan-fund under this condition, that should the Lord not enable us before Dec. 21st to make up this deficiency, it should be sold, but not otherwise, as he needs it in the Lords service.—[A few days after the Lord gave the means to put by the 30s., and 30s. besides for the next weeks rent.] Thus the Lord helped us through this day, and with it brought us to the close of one more week.

Nov. 25. Lords-day. The Lord kindly remembers us before there is absolute need. A sister who is going to leave Bristol, called on me to bid me farewell, and gave me, in parting, 1l. 10s. for the Orphans. It is remarkable, that almost every donation given within the last four months and thirteen days, since our funds have been low, has come from unexpected quarters, to make the hand of God so much the more manifest.

Nov. 26. Though there had come in yesterday 1l. 10s., yet that was scarcely the half of what was needed this day. But the Lord knew our circumstances, and, as He is wont to do, most unworthy as we are of it, remembered our need. There was given 1l. this morning, and 1s. had been put anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel; and a lamp, which had been given some time since, had been sold for 10s. Also 1s. 2d. came in for needlework. By means of these several little sums we could meet all the demands of this day.

Nov. 27. Yesterday afternoon came in 10s., and this morning, by the disposal of some articles, which had been given for sale, 12s. This furnished us with means to procure, for this day also, the necessary supplies.

Nov. 28. This is, perhaps, of all days the most remarkable as yet, so far as it regards the funds. When I was in prayer this morning respecting them, I was enabled firmly to believe that the Lord would send help, though all seemed dark as to natural appearances. At 12 oclock I met as usual with the brethren and sisters for prayer. There had come in only 1s., which was left last evening anonymously, at the Infant Orphan-House, and which, except 2d., had already been spent, on account of the great need. I heard also that an individual had gratuitously cleaned the time-piece in the Infant Orphan-House, and had offered to keep the timepieces of the three houses in repair. Thus the Lord gave even in this a little encouragement, and a proof that He is still mindful of us. On inquiry I found that there was every thing needful for the dinner in all the three houses; but neither in the Infant nor Boys Orphan-Houses was there bread enough for tea, nor money to buy milk. Lower we had never been, and, perhaps, never so low. We gave ourselves now unitedly to prayer, laying the case in simplicity before the Lord. Whilst in prayer there was a knock at the door, and one of the sisters went out. After the two brethren, who labour in the Orphan-Houses, and I had prayed aloud, we continued for a while silently in prayer. As to myself, I was lifting up my heart to the Lord to make a way for our escape, and in order to know, if there were any other thing which I could do with a good conscience, besides waiting on Him, so that we might have food for the children. At last we rose from our knees. I said, "God will surely send help." The words had not quite passed over my lips, when I perceived a letter lying on the table, which had been brought whilst we were in prayer. It was from my wife, containing another letter from a brother with 10l. for the Orphans. The evening before last I was asked by a brother whether the balance in hand for the Orphans would be as great this time, when the accounts would be made up, as the last time. My answer was, that it would be as great as the Lord pleased. The next morning this brother was moved to remember the Orphans, and to send today 10l., which arrived after I had left my house, and which on account of our need was forwarded immediately to me. Thus I was enabled to give 6l. 10s. for housekeeping, and to put by 3l. 10s. for rent.

The brother who sent the 10l. for the Orphans, sent likewise 10l. to be divided between brother Craik and me, with the object of purchasing new clothes for ourselves.

Nov. 29. The Lord has greatly blessed our meetings for prayer. They have been instrumental in leading us to much prayer for the children in the Orphan-Houses, in the Day-Schools, and in the Sunday-School. They have led us to prayer for ourselves, for the Day-School Teachers, and for the Sunday-School Teachers, that grace may be given to us so to walk before the children, and so to deal with them, as that the Lord may be glorified by us. We have also often been led to intercede for the believers with whom we are in fellowship, and for the Church at large. We have especially prayed, that our work may lead the church generally to a more simple confidence and trust in the Lord. That these meetings have not been in vain, as regards the procuring of funds, has been already sufficiently seen by the many instances which have been recorded in the foregoing pages. Today, however, we have had another particular proof of this. When we met I found that 10s. had come in yesterday afternoon. When I returned home I found 1l. had come in, and shortly after I received another 1l. In the evening I received 50l., which was sent from Suffolk by a sister who had often expressed how gladly she would contribute more largely to the work which is in our hands, had she the means, and who just now, in this our time of need, has obtained the means to carry out the desire of her heart. I rejoice in the last donation particularly, not because of the largeness of the sum, but because it enables me to pay to my brethren and sisters in the Orphan-Houses the salary which is due to them. For though they are willing to labour without any remuneration, nevertheless "the labourer is worthy of his reward." This donation also proves, that the Lord is willing even now, as formerly, to send large sums. But I expect still larger. The same sister who sent the 50l. for the Orphans, sent, at the same time, 30l. to be divided between brother Craik and me for our personal expenses. How abundantly does the Lord care for us! Truly we serve a kind Master!

Dec. 5. Today there were again a few shillings needed, in the Boys Orphan-House. That which remained of the £50l. had been divided for housekeeping in the three houses, and was now all spent in the Boys Orphan-House, and nearly also in the other two houses. The few shillings which were needed in the Boys Orphan-House, the Lord, however, had previously provided by the little which had come in on December 3 and 4.

Dec. 6. This day our need was again as great as ever, but the deliverance of the Lord was also as manifest as ever. No money had come in, and I knew there would be some needed this morning in all the three houses. That which was required to buy provisions for today, was about 1l.; but there were also coals needed in two houses, and two of the treacle-casks were empty. We gave ourselves, as usual, to prayer. After prayer one of the labourers gave 1l. of the salary which she had received a few days ago; another gave 6s., and 4s. 6d. was taken out of the boxes. Thus we had 1l. 10s. 6d. to divide, and therefore more than was absolutely needed; also one of the labourers had ordered half a ton of coals to be sent to the Boys Orphan-House, for which he paid himself.

This afternoon I received 100l. from a sister; 50l. for the Orphans, and 50l. for the SchoolBibleand Missionary-Fund. This same sister, who earns her bread with her own hands, had given, on October 5, 1837, 50l. towards the Boys Orphan-House, and gave for the necessities of the poor saints, in August, 1838, 100l. more; for she had been made willing to act out those precious exhortations: "Having food and raiment let us be therewith content." "Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth." "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal." Respecting the 50l. which has been given of this sum for the SchoolBibleand Missionary-Fund, it is worthy of remark, that we would not order Reference Bibles till we had the means. We had repeatedly prayed respecting this want of Bibles, and particularly again this morning. It had been also much laid on our hearts today, to request that the Lord would enable us to have the Report printed, which we could not do, unless He first sent the means. Lastly, we had also repeatedly asked Him to supply us so largely, if it were His will, as that at the time of the public meetings we might be able to speak again of abundance. For though for some months past the time has been fixed for the public meetings, without any reference to the state of the funds, nevertheless, it might have had the appearance, that we had convened the brethren for the sake of telling them about our poverty, and thus to induce them to give.

Dec. 8, 1838. The Lord closes the third year of this part of the work with blessings. Yesterday was sent 24 yards of flannel, and today were taken out of the box in the Boys Orphan-House a 5l. note and 3d. Also 2s. was given, and 1l. besides.

Dec. 11, 12, and 13. On the evenings of these three days there were public meetings, at which I gave an account of the Lords dealing with us in reference to the Orphan-Houses and the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. As the work, and particularly that of the Orphan-Houses, was begun for the benefit of the church at large, it appeared well to us, that from time to time it should be publicly stated how the Lord had dealt with us in reference to it; and as on Dec. 9th the third year had been completed, since the commencement of the Orphan work, this seemed to be a suitable time for having these meetings.

Should any one suppose, in reading the plain details of the trials through which we passed during the four months previous to Dec. 9, 1838, respecting the Orphan-Houses, that I have been disappointed as it regards my expectations, as far as the funds are concerned: my answer is, that the reverse is the case. For straits were expected. Long before the trials came, I had more than once stated publicly, that answers to prayer, in the time of need,—the manifestation of the hand of God, stretched out for our help,—was just the very end for which the Institution was established.

I further state, that the Orphans have never lacked any thing. Had I had thousands of pounds in hand, they would have fared no better than they have; for they have always had good nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc.

It is now (namely on Dec. 10, 1838) four years and nine months since brother Craik and I established the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. The reasons which we had for doing so were, that thus a testimony might be borne that the children of God need not to go to unbelievers to ask them for money; nor require the patronage of the great men of this world in the Lords work; and that, further, believers generally might be stirred up, to renounce their alliance with the world in the management and promotion of religious objects, and that, lastly, it might be seen, that, without contracting debts, such objects can be carried on.

Painful as it was, and as it still is, to us, to be obliged to differ from so many of our brethren, in these particulars, nevertheless we were called upon to work without them, if we could not conscientiously work with them. May the Lord grant, that the eyes of many of His children may be opened, so that they may seek, in all spiritual things, to be separated from unbelievers, (2 Cor. vi. 1418), and to do Gods work according to Gods mind!

I notice briefly the following particulars respecting the first three objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. 1. There is at present (in December, 1838) a Sunday School supported by it, which contains four hundred and sixty-three children. This part of the work calls for particular thanksgiving; for during these last eighteen months the number of the children has been nearly three times as great as it used to be. Five of the scholars have been converted within the last two years, and are now in fellowship with the church, and three of them are teachers in the school. 2. There is in connection with the Institution an Adult-school, in which, since the commencement of the work, above 120 adults have been instructed, and in which at present twelve are taught to read. 3. The Institution has entirely supported, since its commencement, several Day-schools for poor children, and within the last two years six of such: three for boys, and three for girls.—The number of all the children that have had schooling in the Day-schools through the medium of the Institution, since its formation, amounts to 1534; the number of those at present in the six Day. Schools is 342. 4. During the last two years there have been circulated, 1884 copies of the Scriptures in connexion with the Institution, and since the beginning of the work, March 5, 1834, five thousand and seventy-eight copies. 5. For Missionary purposes have been laid out £74. 18s. 4d. 6. The total of the income for the first three objects, during the last two years, was £1129. 13s. 1d. The total of the expenses £1111. 13s. 7 1/2d.

There are, at present, 86 Orphans in the three houses, i. e. 31 in the Girls-Orphan-House, 31 in the Infant-Orphan-House, and 24 in the Boys-Orphan-House.

The whole number of Orphans, who have been under our care, from April 11, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1838, amounts to 110.

Gods blessing has most manifestly rested upon this part of the work. For, 1. Without any one having been asked for any thing by us, the sum of £2111 5s. 4 1/2d. has been given to us, entirely as the result of prayer to God.

2. Besides this, also, many articles of clothing, furniture, provisions, etc. 3. Without our solicitation three medical gentlemen, (one for each house), have, up to Dec. 9, 1838, kindly given their attendance and medicines gratuitously.

4. The children have been, on the whole, in good health, and many of them have greatly improved as to their health, since they have been with us. 5. Though most of them had been brought up in a very different manner from what one could desire, yet God has constrained them, on the whole, to behave exceedingly well, so much so that it has attracted the attention of all observers. This can be ascribed only to the good hand of God. 6. There are a few among them, respecting whom we have a comfortable assurance that they care about their souls. 7. There is not one of those who have died, of whom we are without hope, as it regards their eternal welfare; but respecting two of them we have especial reason to rejoice. The elder of the two, Harriet Culliford, about twelve years of age when she died, had been for many months wasting away in consumption. She was, almost during the whole time of her illness, completely careless about the things of God; nothing seemed to make any impression upon her, though a well behaved child in other respects. About a fortnight before her departure, she was brought to know the Lord, gave the fullest evidence, that could be given in her circumstances, of a real change of heart, and departed full of joy at the prospect of being with the Lord, though previously she had been very desirous to be restored again. The younger, Leah Culliford, (both of them of a very consumptive family), fell asleep in Jesus on Sept. 11, 1838. She was but little more than eight years of age; but many weeks before her death she gave evidence to those who were placed over her of a change of heart, and of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The total of the income for the Orphans, from Dec. 9, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1838, has amounted to £1341. 4s. 7d. the total of the expenses to £1664. 4s. 0 3/4d. There was two years ago a balance of £373. 4s. 8 1/4d. in hand, and now the balance is £50. 5s. 3d.

Dec. 16. There was a paper anonymously put into the box at Bethesda Chapel, containing 4l. 10s. In the paper was written "For the Rent of the Orphan-Houses, from Dec. 10 to Dec. 31, 1838. O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him!" In order that the reader may be able to enter into the value of this donation, I would request him to read over once more, what I wrote under "Sept. 29 of this year." [The individual who gave this 4l. 10s. for the rent of the Orphan-Houses for the first three weeks after the public meetings, at which the matter about the rent, for the instruction of the brethren, was fully stated, continued for three years, up to Dec. 10, 1841, to give regularly, but anonymously, 1l. 10s. a week for the same purpose, which was exactly the sum required every week for the rent of those three houses. Thus the Lord rewarded our faithfulness, in carrying out the light which He had given us. But the chief blessing, resulting from this circumstance, I consider to be this, that several brethren, who earn their bread by the labour of their hands, have learned through this circumstance, that it is the will of the Lord they should lay by their rent weekly. I beseech those brethren who are not pursuing this course, to do so, and they will soon prove by experience the benefit of acting on Scriptural principles even as it regards this life.]

Dec. 17. Today eleven brethren and sisters were proposed for fellowship. The Lord still uses us as instruments. Truly, our labour in the Lord is not in vain!

Dec. 20. As the expenses for the Orphans have been above 47l. within the last six days, and as but little above 13l. has come in, and as the money for printing the Report had to be kept back, in order that we might not be in debt, we were again today very low in funds, though it is but six days since the public meetings. As I knew that tomorrow several pounds would be needed to supply the matrons, I gave myself this morning to prayer. About a quarter of an hour afterwards I received 3l., the payment of a legacy, left by a sister, who fell asleep in Jesus several months since, in Ireland. Besides this I received from the brother, through whom the legacy was paid, 2l. 10s. for the Orphan-Fund. With this 5l. 10s. I hope to be able to meet the expenses of tomorrow.

I observe here that it might have been naturally supposed that every heart would be touched, through what was publicly stated about the remarkable manner in which the Lord had provided for us for nearly 150 days, and that consequently an abundance of means would have come in. To this is to be added, that 50l. 5s. 3d. was in hand on Dec. 10, and that therefore it seemed not likely that we should be in need; and yet, by Dec. 20, we were again so poor, that there was nothing to meet the expenses of the next day, as has just been related. All this came not unawares upon me and my fellow-labourers; for we had been taught to look off from all creature expectations to the living God. It was on this account that, many times in our prayer meetings during November and the beginning of December, we were led to ask the Lord, not to allow us to expect an influx of means because, for the benefit of the Church, our circumstances would be made known at the public meetings. And how kind was it of the Lord to give us prayer about this, and thus to prepare us beforehand; for had we leaned upon natural expectations, we should have been surely disappointed, as only six days after the meetings we were as poor as ever. By the grace of God we are so acquainted with the heart of our Father, that we speak not about these things to excite the compassion of our fellow saints, for we have learned to lean upon God only; but we make known His dealings with us, that others may be led "to taste and see that the Lord is good," and to put their trust in Him.

The sister who left the 3l. for the Orphans, as just alluded to, also left 3l. for the funds of the other objects, 20l. to be divided between brother Craik and me, and 3l. for the poor saints.

Dec. 22. A solemn day. I received today the information from my father that my brother died on October 7th. When I saw him in April this year, he was living in open sin, and in disunion with my father. I cannot learn that his end was different from his life, so that I have no comfort in his death.—Of all the trials that can befall a believer, the death of an unconverted near relative seems to me one of the greatest. "Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?" must be the stay of the believer at such a time, and, by grace, it is my stay now. I know that the Lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has been: whether in his last hours, like the thief, on the cross, he was saved, or whether he died in sin and unbelief; yet I do, as to myself, desire from my heart to adore that grace which plucked me as a brand out of the burning, many years ago.—May the Lord make this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading me to earnestness in prayer for my father!

Dec. 26. From the 21st to this day several small donations had come in for the Orphans, so that we were supplied as we needed. Today there was ten-pence left, after the days expenses had been met. One hour after the Lord kindly appeared again. 5l. was sent by Q. Q. This money came, just after I had prayed for means.

Dec. 27. Today came in 2l. 12s. 6d., whereby the Lord has again helped us to meet the probable expenses of tomorrow.

Dec. 28. This evening the Lord kindly sent further help, when we were again destitute of the means of providing for tomorrow. I received 20l. (half for the Orphan-Fund, and half for the other funds), with Ecclesiastes ix. 10: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."

Dec. 29. A sister, having felt herself particularly stirred up about the Orphans, as she writes, sent this evening 7l. five pounds from herself, and 2l. which had been sent from the EAST INDIES. To the Lord this is to be ascribed, who, in answer to our prayers, makes these impressions on the hearts of His children.