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ILLUSTRATIONS

The sweetest picture of family contentment I have ever witnessed . . . . . . Frontispiece

"Ping-ding-a-zing-a-boom!" [missing from book]

SKIDDOO

CHAPTER I

JOHN HENRY ON UPPER BERTHS

[Illustration: I made a short prayer and concluded to fall out.]

CHAPTER II

JOHN HENRY ON COOKS

[Illustration: Ollie was half Swede and the rest of her was deaf.]

CHAPTER III

JOHN HENRY ON PATRIOTISM

[Illustration: With the firecrackers cheering him on.]

CHAPTER IV

JOHN HENRY ON MOSQUITOES

CHAPTER V

JOHN HENRY ON STREET CAR ETIQUETTE

[Illustration: "Naw, we don't take no transfers, needer!"]

CHAPTER VI

JOHN HENRY ON SOCIAL AFFAIRS

CHAPTER VII

JOHN HENRY ON CHAFING DISHES

A GUIDE TO THE CHAFING DISH.

BY BUNCH JEFFERSON

(From Recipes Furnished by Famous Friends.)

MOCK BAKED BEANS.

(From a Recipe furnished by Morton Smith.)

MOCK HAM AND EGGS.

(From a Recipe furnished by De Wolf Hopper.)

MOCK LAMB CHOPS.

(From a Recipe furnished by William T. Hodge.)

HAMBURGER STEAK.

(From a Recipe furnished by Silvio Hein.)

IMITATION SAUSAGES.

(From a Recipe furnished by Frank Doane.)

IMITATION CELERY.

(From a Recipe furnished by John Park.)

IMITATION BEEF TEA.

(From a Recipe furnished by Rupert Hughes.)

IMITATION MOCK TURTLE SOUP.

(From a Recipe furnished by John L. Golden.)

IMITATION ROAST BEEF.

(From a Recipe furnished by E. W. Kemble.)

IMITATION ROAST TURKEY

(From a Recipe furnished by Dr. Percy Crandall.)

MOCK COFFEE.

(From a Recipe furnished by Daniel V. Arthur.)

MOCK GIBLETS.

(From a Recipe furnished by Edward Abeles.)

MOCK BREAKFAST BACON.

(From a Recipe furnished by A. Baldwin Sloane.)

MOCK BEEF STEAK.

(From a Recipe furnished by Joseph Coyne.)

IMITATION IRISH STEW.

(From a Recipe furnished by Charles Swayne.)

IMITATION PRUNE PIE.

(From a Recipe furnished by George W. Lederer.)