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MUSICAL TRAVELS, &c.

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I was born in the Parish of Gotham, in the county of Nottingham: my father was a sawyer, and my mother had, for many years before her marriage, cried oysters and Newcastle-salmon about the streets of London. Neither of them are said to have been remarkable for their vocal or instrumental talents. My mother’s voice was, indeed, exceedingly shrill and dissonant, as I have been credibly informed by the neighbours; however, I was no sooner born than I gave proofs of uncommon musical propensities. I entered the world, singing, instead of crying; at least, my squall was truly melodious, and ravished the ears of the midwife; tho’, I must confess, the envious old hag of a nurse did pretend that my mother and Mrs. Midnight mistook the origin of the wild notes I uttered as soon as I saw the light; and, insisting that they only denoted the wind-cholic, immediately drenched me with a large dose of rhubarb: however, she has candidly confessed, that she easily sang me to sleep whenever I was peevish, and that even by means of such simple melody as Jack Sprat, or hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle. A harsh and menacing recitative would as effectually deter me from a naughty trick, as a good whipping. The sound of a drum, or any other martial music, had such an immediate effect upon my nerves, that I was always obliged to be turned dry before the piece was half over. The famous March in Saul is too powerful for me even at this day, tho’ I can stand any other, without being offensive. Indeed, I am so well convinced of the connection between the sound and the sense in all good music, that I will venture to prescribe Handel’s water-piece, and water parted from the sea, as specifics for a strangury. I know that there is great truth in what Shakespear says of the bag-pipe; and I have observed that a jockey always whistles to his horse upon these occasions, which never fails to produce great effects, tho’ the performer want brilliancy of execution ever so much.

One of the first circumstances I myself can recollect in my early years, was the great pleasure I took in hearing a blind boy play tunes on a bladder of air press’d between a bow-stick and its string. The Jew’s-harp next engaged my attention; and afterwards the bag-pipe and bassoon. Indeed I do remember having been told by my Grandmother, that whilst I was yet in coats, I took vast delight in pinching the tails of the Parson’s litter of pigs, and would listen to their various notes and tones from the f sharp of the whine of the least of the family, quite down to the b flat of the boar himself. This, with my attention to my coral and bells, and rattle, singing thro’ a comb and brown paper, together with the great expertness I afterwards shew’d in making whistles of reeds, and the recent bark of sycamore twigs, made the oldest people of the parish foretel, that I should one day or other become a great and celebrated Musician.

My taste for the sister art of music, Poetry, was likewise, as I am inform’d, observed very early in my childhood; as I always held my mouth wide open, when the Psalm was sang at our Parish-Church; and soon was able to repeat without book a great part of Sternhold and Hopkins’s excellent version of that great Dilettanti performer on the harp, King David’s pieces.

Having been well inform’d that the infancy, and indeed the riper years of the great Mus. D. or musical Doctor (whom I call, par excellence, Dr. Mus) passed in much the same manner, and with similar expectations from all the old ladies of his acquaintance; and having observed with what eclat, and indeed universal approbation of all people of taste, his ingenious account of his ingenious travels has been received, I conceived a design of following so illustrious an example, and travelling through the dominions of England, Scotland and Ireland, with the town of Berwick upon Tweed, to give a true state of the musical improvement and progression in these kingdoms; and hope I may flatter myself, that the Dr. himself will applaud my undertaking, and consider it as a proper supplement to his elaborate work.

Before I set forwards on my travels, I chose to change my name from Collier to Coglioni or Collioni, as more euphonious; and on the first of April, having torn myself from the arms of my weeping wife, and four small children, I put my bassoon into a green-bag, and slung it across my shoulders; my large violoncello was laid on my knee as I sat in the waggon, and my clothes, with a bottle of brandy and some biscuits, were pack’d up in the viol-case. As I was neither patronized, nor franked on my tour by any Dilettanti Lord, I must confess the low state of my circumstances, and the poverty in which I had left my family, cast a damp on my spirits; but this was always soon dissipated by an air on the violoncello, and by recollecting the great advantages my travels, to enquire into the state of music in this island, would be to my dear native country, and the fame and glory I should acquire by the publication of my work, perhaps only inferior to that of the great Dr. Mus himself.

Inspir’d by taste, o’er lands and seas HE flew,

Europe he saw, and Europe saw him too.

Thro’ lands of singing, or of dancing slaves,

Love-echoing woods, and lute-resounding waves.

O while along the stream of time, that name

Expanded flies, and gathers all its fame;

Say, shall my little bark attendant sail,

Pursue the triumph and partake the gale?—