Читать книгу The Prime Objective - Ginna Gray - Страница 9

A sliver of morning sunlight sliced through the gap in the black-out drapes and drew a line across the bed where Kate slept. Slouched in a chair, Jack sat in the shadows, watching her.

Funny how merely looking at her made him happy, he mused. Being near her made him feel…whole, somehow. Alive. As though she filled an aching empty place in his soul.

She’d had that effect on him from the beginning.

Remembering that first encounter, the barest hint of a smile flickered over Jack’s mouth. In his early twenties he’d been restless and craving adventure and had wanted to see the world, footloose and fancy free. With that goal in mind he’d made the decision never to marry. Joining the agency after college had cemented that choice.

Then, four years later, he’d met Kate.

From the moment he first saw her he’d been drawn to her like metal shavings to a magnet. They had been at a party at the Houston home of a mutual friend, and from all the way across the room he’d noticed that she seemed to glow from within with a vitality that was irresistible.

Without waiting for their host to introduce them, he’d taken matters into his own hands and strolled over to her group, inserted himself between her and the man with whom she’d been talking and, before she realized his intent, maneuvered her away to a secluded corner.

Within moments he’d been smitten. After dating her for only a few weeks he’d been forced to revise his life plan. The mere thought of a life without Kate in it had been unbearable.

He’d always supposed it was some sort of poetic justice that he’d fallen so hard and so fast. And that Kate had not rushed into his arms, as so many a woman had before her. Though he did not think of himself as being particularly good-looking, up until that point he’d never had to pursue a woman.

However, Kate was not one of those women who needed a man to complete her or support her or take care of her. She had far too much self-esteem and confidence for that.

And why not? She’d come from a stable family, every member of which loved and supported her. She was smart, educated, talented, socially adept and ever since he’d known her she’d had a successful career of her own making.

Even back then, at the young age of twenty-four, she’d already begun to carve out a name for herself as a designer of fine diamond and gemstone jewelry. These days her designs were sold in high-end jewelry stores all over the country and she was often commissioned by wealthy patrons to do one-of-a-kind pieces.

No, winning Kate had not been easy.

But then, he’d been prepared to do whatever it took to persuade her to marry him. Hell, he would’ve gotten down on his knees and begged if it had come to that.

Jack’s gaze slid over Kate’s face like a caress. She looked about eighteen, with her face scrubbed clean and rosy with sleep and those long lashes lying against her cheeks like little fans. Her lips were bare and slightly parted, her short auburn hair mussed.

She wasn’t truly beautiful, he supposed. Her nose was too short and splattered with freckles and her mouth was too wide and full for classic beauty. Even so, she had an irresistible appeal. Maybe it was those big, expressive green eyes that made his insides melt. Or that impish grin, complete with a dimple at each corner. They even winked at you whenever she talked.

Beautiful? No. What she was was downright adorable.

She was also passionate, feisty and absolutely fearless—frighteningly so at times.

Kate had a tendency to leap into a fray before she thought. Whenever she felt that she was in the right or encountered an injustice she’d wade right in, all one hundred and five pounds of her, and stand toe-to-toe with anyone, no matter who, when, where, how much clout they had or how big and intimidating they were. When riled, his ex-wife was like a fearsome little terrier.

Jack was just grateful that in her current situation she’d recognized the serious danger that she and Colleen were facing and had the good sense to know that she was in over her head and needed help.

Although…he could imagine just how much it had galled her to call on him.

Kate made a soft sound and shifted in the bed. Jack’s frugal smile flickered again. The small protest was a sure sign that her morning waking ritual was about to begin.

For all her energy and drive, Kate was not a morning person. When fully awake—a state which took a hearty breakfast and at least two cups of strong coffee to achieve—she was a little dynamo. However, when that active mind finally shut down she slept with the abandon of a child, sinking deep and clinging to mindless oblivion as long as possible.

She shifted again, then rolled onto her side and tried to burrow her face into the pillow. Seconds later she rolled onto her back again. After another minute or two of squirming she heaved a sigh and gave up.

Yawning, she stretched one leg then the other, then raised her arms over her head and, in a slow, sinuous motion, arched her back and made a purring sound.

Jack’s arousal was instantaneous.

Aw, hell, Mick. You’re killing me here, he groaned to himself.

Unlike his ex-wife, he had not slept well the previous night, despite exhaustion and a cold shower. Awareness of Kate just a few feet away in the next bed had nearly driven him nuts.

Relaxing her body, she slumped back onto the mattress, but an instant later she cried out and jackknifed into a sitting position. “Jack!”

“Easy, Mick. Easy. I’m here,” he murmured.

Her head snapped toward the sound of his voice. “Oh.” She gave him a rueful look and raked the fingers of one hand through her hair. “For a minute there I thought…”

“What? That I’d deserted you? Left you high and dry with no warning? I would never do that to you.”

Kate’s sheepish expression vanished. She shot him a sleepy but sullen look. “That was a dig at me for the divorce, wasn’t it? For the way I handled things? You are still angry.”

“Maybe. But then, I have a right to be, don’t you think?”

Pressing the heels of both hands to her temples, Kate squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. “I knew it. I knew it. I should never have contacted you. I knew I’d regret it,” she muttered.

Dropping her hands, she sent him a bleary-eyed look. “If that’s the way you feel, why did you bother to come home at all? Or did you just use my request for help as an excuse to confront me? If that’s the case, you can leave right now. I have more pressing matters to deal with than your lingering resentment.”

“Resentment?” Jack gave a mirthless chuckle. “Sweetie, that doesn’t even come close to what I felt when I received those divorce papers. But we’re not going to have this discussion just yet. Not until you’ve had some coffee and are wide awake. You see, I believe in fighting fair.”

“I’m not going to discuss the past with you, Jack,” she mumbled, knuckling her eyes. “What’s done is done, and there’s no going back. In fact, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t need your help. I want you to leave.”

“Feeling brave this morning, are you? Amazing what a good night’s sleep can do for your outlook. Well, too bad. I’m staying.”

He unfolded his lean frame from the chair and stood up. “While you get dressed I’ll run downstairs and get us some breakfast from the buffet.”

In a blink her drowsy bravado vanished and she glanced at the door. “But what if—”

“Ah, not so courageous after all, huh. Well, don’t worry. You’ll be safe alone for a few minutes. Those guys are most likely back in Houston by now. But even if they aren’t, they don’t know about me or that I’m with you. They won’t be looking for my vehicle or for a married couple, which is how I registered us, by the way. Under the name of Mr. and Mrs. Justin Pardo, which is one of my aliases. You see, being married does have its advantages,” he added.

“Oh yeah. Just so you know, I have passports and all sorts of photo IDs in that name with me. Along with several others. In case we need them.

“For now, though, there’s no need to be afraid. From the buffet table in the lobby I can see both the elevator and the outside doors. No one is going to get past me. So shake-a-leg, Mick. If you’re not dressed by the time I get back I’ll take that as an invitation,” he added with a suggestive glance toward the bed.

It took a second for the comment to penetrate her muzziness, but when it did she reacted with her usual spunk. “Forget it, Jackson. That’s not going to happen.”

Shooting him an annoyed look, she dragged herself out of the bed, plucked up some clothes from the duffel bag and stumbled into the bathroom.

On his way out Jack heard the lock on the bathroom door shoot home with a decisive snap, and he chuckled. Who was she trying to keep out? he wondered. The bad guys or him?

Ten minutes later he returned to find the bathroom door still shut. He rapped his knuckles against the panel. “It’s me, Kate. I have food.”

Silence.

Jack might have been concerned if he hadn’t known Kate so well. “Coffee, too.”

After another beat of silence the door opened and she emerged, tight-lipped and silent. Automatically, Jack made mental note of every detail of her appearance.

For a woman who designed jewelry, Kate wore little herself except when she presented her designs to prospective clients or went to gala affairs. Day-to-day she rarely wore more than earrings and a couple of rings. This morning she wore simple gold teardrops in her lobes and a fine gold chain around her neck. Not a ring in sight, Jack thought with a bitter glance toward her left hand.

Only marginally tamed, her hair framed her face in an auburn halo of soft curls. As usual, her makeup was minimal—blush, lip gloss and a few sweeps of mascara. Kate had long ago given up on trying to hide her freckles.

She wore sneakers, jeans, a long-sleeved, blue-and-yellow plaid flannel shirt over a fitted little yellow T.

“Breakfast is served,” he announced, and made a show out of pulling out a chair for her at the tiny table in the corner.

The combined scents of soap, toothpaste and floral shampoo wafted to Jack’s nose as Kate stepped around him and sat down. Standing behind the chair, he bent to scoot the chair in beneath her and inhaled a deep breath. Instantly desire surged through him again.

He gave a mental curse and gritted his teeth. Nothing, it seemed, not even anger, could override his attraction to this irresistible, maddening woman.

She smelled heavenly and she looked fresh and wholesome and so damned cute with her little nose in the air and that pouty mouth that he ached to toss her onto the nearest bed and ravish her.

Instead he sat down in the other chair. As though he hadn’t a care in the world, he helped himself to a muffin and a heap of scrambled eggs.

Neither Jack nor Kate spoke. She did not so much as look at him throughout the meal. Though set, her expression was calm, but he knew that her quick mind was busy searching for a way to avoid the discussion they were about to have.

Jack took his time, but when he finished eating he poured them both a third cup of coffee, then leaned back and eyed Kate.

“Well?”

“I’m not in the mood, Jack.”

“Too bad. We’re not leaving this room until we have a talk. I had hoped to get this over with last night, but you were sound asleep by the time I got out of the shower.

“I came here to help you, Kate and I promise you, I will do everything I can to find out what’s going on and to protect you. Colleen, too, when we find her. But the price you have to pay is an explanation. Which is long overdue.

“C’mon, Kate,” he prodded when she remained silent. “You’re a fair person. You owe me that much, and you know it.

“Actually, that whole affair wasn’t like you. You’re not cruel or self-serving, but hitting me with a divorce when you knew I wasn’t in a position to do anything about it was both. So what possessed you to blindside me that way, Kate?”

Her chin snapped up. “Would you have given me a divorce if I had waited until you came home and asked you for one?”

“Of course not.”

“There’s your answer. I was trying to avoid a big fight.”

“I don’t get it. Why did you want a divorce? We had a great marriage. We enjoyed each other’s company. Our sex life was terrific. We got along well. Hell, we’ve never so much as had a serious disagreement. So what was the problem?”

“What do you think the problem was, Jack?” Kate challenged.

He could see that she was striving to hold on to her composure and keep the discussion civilized. That in itself told him that her temper was on the rise, but he’d be damned if he could figure out what she had to be angry about. He was the injured party here.

“You’re going to have to enlighten me because I don’t have a clue,” he said with a nonchalant shrug that hid his pain. How could she have done this to him? To them? “Our marriage was fine when I left the last time.”

She rolled her eyes. “No, Jack. It wasn’t fine. And the fact that you are unaware of that should tell you something. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say to myself, ‘Gee, I think I’ll divorce Jack.’ The problem had been building for years, almost from the beginning. I was unhappy! No. Not just unhappy. I was miserable.”

“Miserable how?”

“I was always alone. And lonely.”

He stared at her, dumbfounded. “That’s it? That was your big problem?” Jack shook his head. “I don’t believe this.”

“Whether you believe it or not, it’s true.”

“Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You missed me, so you divorced me. That doesn’t make any sense, Kate.”

“Jack, you were hardly ever home. You’d be gone for weeks, sometimes months at a time, then show up out of the blue, stay a few days. If I was really lucky, a week or two. But then you’d be off again. I never knew where you were or what kind of dangerous mission you were on. I couldn’t even call you or write to you except through channels, and I was always aware that every word was monitored. And you’d go long periods of time without bothering to get in touch with me.”

“I called when I could, Kate. You know that. I also came home when I could. If my long absences were a problem why didn’t you say something?”

“It’s not as though I didn’t try, Jack. But every time I brought up the subject you would cajole and tease me and turn my concerns into a joke. Either that or you’d distract me by seducing me. After a while I realized that you didn’t want to hear that there was a problem. Because if you knew you might have to make some changes.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I? I don’t think so. I used to tell myself that eventually things would get better. That either you’d get tired of the constant stress and danger or that you’d get too old for field work and the agency would reassign you.

“Then September eleventh happened.

“Of course, I knew immediately that things were only going to get worse, and they did.”

“I’m sorry, Kate, but it couldn’t be helped,” he murmured, watching her. “We were scrambling after that attack.”

“I know. I know. That’s why I kept quiet for so long. But then months turned into years. Finally I realized that I couldn’t wait forever. As much as I loved you, I simply couldn’t live in limbo any longer.”

Her use of past tense made Jack’s stomach knot. Despite the divorce, he’d believed that, deep down, Kate still loved him. What they’d had together had been too deep and powerful to just disappear. Ever since he’d received her message, he’d been certain that, on some level, perhaps even a subconscious one, she regretted whatever impulse had driven her to end their marriage and wanted him back.

Fear gave his voice a harsher edge than he intended. “So you just threw away an eight-year marriage?”

The accusation snapped Kate’s tenuous control over her temper. She shot to her feet and began to pace and wave her arms. “Don’t you get it, Jack? What we had wasn’t a marriage.”

“What? That’s crazy. Of course we were married.”

“Oh, no. Marriage is about a couple building a life together, being there for each other through all the pains and joys and all the everyday, mundane minutiae that is part of living. Most of the time you were halfway around the world and I was alone in Houston. I didn’t feel as though I had a husband. Just a part-time sex partner. Yet I wasn’t single, either. I was just a toy that you kept on a shelf and took down now and then when you had time to play.”

“That’s not fair, Kate. You knew what my job was when you married me.”

She stopped pacing and glowered at him with her fists planted on her hips. “Oh, don’t give me that! You weren’t entirely forthcoming, and you know it.

“When we first met all you said was that you worked for the federal government. Silly me, I assumed you meant in some sort of legal or advisory capacity, or maybe you were with the diplomatic corps. Whenever I asked questions I got half truths and evasions. It wasn’t until we were engaged that you finally revealed that you were CIA, and that sometimes you would have to make trips out of the country. What you failed to explain was that was spook speak for ‘I’ll be gone more than I’ll be home.’”

“C’mon, Kate, you’re exaggerating. I was not away that much.”

That impudent little chin lifted again. “Oh really? Do you have any idea how many days you spent at home during the last year of our marriage?”

Jack shrugged. “Off the top of my head, no, I don’t know the exact number.”

“Well, I do. I kept track. It was exactly forty-seven days.”

“What? That can’t be right,” he protested, but uneasiness began to creep in.

“Oh, it’s right, Jack. Trust me.

“I’m thirty-four years old. By this stage of my life I expected to have a couple of children. But you weren’t home enough to get me pregnant.”

“Ah, so that’s it. That biological clock thing.” The pressure in Jack’s chest eased, and he looked her over with a lecherous gleam in his eyes. “If it’s babies you want, I can help you with that, Mick. We can get started right now.”

He made a move to stand up, but she stopped him with a raised hand and a searing glare.

“Forget it, Jack. That ship has sailed. And don’t you dare trivialize my feelings by turning them into a joke. Not this time. Not ever again.”

“Sorry.” He sat back in the chair, his expression rueful. “I guess I never realized how serious you were about having kids. I always thought you were talking in general terms. You know…something we’d get around to someday.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The blunt statement took him by surprise. There was so much anger burning in her green eyes that Jack experienced a sudden fear stronger than any he’d ever encountered on his job, even in the diciest of situations.

“I think you deliberately tuned me out,” she continued, lifting her chin a notch higher. “The same way you tuned out every attempt I made to talk to you about the excessive time we spent apart, the way you always tune out when you don’t want to talk about something.

“I don’t think you want children at all, Jack. When I made it clear that I wanted to start a family your agreement was nothing more than lip-service to pacify me and shut me up.”

She took up her agitated prowl again. “You didn’t want anything to interfere with the convenient arrangement you had going for you. You had a nice little wife at home to take care of any domestic responsibilities and duties that came up and to provide sex and companionship when you could find time to come home. The rest of the time you were free to have your adventures and traipse all over the globe.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? Don’t you find it odd that a man who has been trained by the best information-gathering organization on the planet to take note of every single thing, right down to the tiniest detail, to decipher hidden meanings behind every word, to read every subtlety and nuance of human behavior, failed to notice that his own wife was unhappy?”

Jack stared at her, an uncomfortable sensation that he couldn’t quite identify squeezing his chest. As usual when he found himself cornered he assumed an unworried demeanor and responded with glib reason.

“Hey, when I’m home I’m not on duty.”

“Tell me another one, Jack. That training is so ingrained that it’s second nature to you to read people and situations.”

His inability to come up with an adequate response deepened his discomfort and gave his voice a rough edge. “Maybe I’m not as perceptive as you seem to think I am. But regardless, before taking a step like getting a divorce, you should have tried harder to make me understand that you were unhappy. If you had we could have worked out something and avoided all this pain and heartache. On both sides.”

“Worked out what, Jack? Was I supposed to demand that you cut your assignments short? We both know that’s not possible. Or should I have asked you to give up field work? Or quit the agency altogether?”

She gave a derisive snort. “Please. I may not know exactly what it is that you do—nor do I want to know. Imagining was bad enough. But I am aware of how important your job is to national security. And I know that you’re good at what you do and that you think of it as your duty. For you, quitting the agency would be tantamount to treason. I couldn’t put you in that position.”

“Even so, I would have quit to save our marriage.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” she shot back. “But if I had pressured you into giving up field work and you’d settled into a desk job you would’ve hated every minute of it. Even if you could have stuck with it, which I seriously doubt, eventually you would’ve grown to hate me, as well.”

“Never.”

“So you say now, but I think it would have come to that. Ours was a lose/lose situation, Jack. If we stayed together one of us was guaranteed to be miserable.”

“Ah, I see. So your answer was to get a divorce and make both of us miserable?”

“I can do without your sarcasm,” she snapped back. “And yes, divorce is heartbreaking. But eventually time erases that pain.

“Jack, listen to me. No matter how it may appear, my decision was not an easy one. I thought about it long and hard. Finally I accepted that it was time to cut my losses and get on with my life. You need to do the same.”

“Just tell me one thing. Is there someone else?” Somehow he managed to keep his tone conversational, but merely asking the question made him feel murderous.

She shook her head. “No. Not yet. But I won’t lie to you, Jack. I have been dating. Nothing serious yet, but I’m looking. I’m hoping that someday soon I’ll meet a nice man who wants a home and a family.”

“I see.” He looked at her in silence for an interminable time. On the surface he knew that he appeared calm, but his jaw was clenched so tight his teeth hurt.

He had intended to play his cards close and not tip his hand, but the thought of Kate making a life with someone else, loving another man, having children that weren’t his, was so unbearable he blurted out, “I want you back, Mick. I’m willing to accept a transfer. I can place a call right now and make it happen. My decision. Not yours. We’ll go through another wedding ceremony and start over.”

“Oh, please. Who’re you trying to kid, Jack? You nearly choked just getting that out. Had it been any more difficult you would have had to ram your hand down your throat and pull the words out. So don’t tell me it’s your decision. We both know that you would never have made that offer if it weren’t for me.”

“I still mean it.”

“Maybe right now you do. But I know you, Jack. You’ll grit your teeth and dutifully put on a suit and tie every day and go in to the office. But within six months you’ll either go stark, staring mad or come up with an excuse to return to undercover work. You’re addicted to the danger and the intrigue. And the agency will back you up. You’re a valuable asset to them in the field.”

Kate stopped pacing, and the vice around Jack’s heart tightened as he watched her anger fade into sadness. She held his gaze and shook her head slowly. “It took me years to gather the strength to end our marriage. I won’t be drawn back into that unhappiness again.”

Turning away, she walked to the room’s only window and looked out, her arms folded over her middle.

He stared at her back, her unyielding posture, struggling to breathe. “So that’s it? We’re through?”

“Jack, we’ve been through for over a year. Ever since the divorce,” she said so gently that he could have shaken her.

He had an almost irresistible urge to rant and rave and declare that this whole thing was crazy, that when two people loved each other the way they did there had to be a way to work things out. But even stronger was the worry that if he pushed her she might give voice to his worst fear—that she no longer loved him.

Taking risks, international cat-and-mouse games, even life-and-death situations—he could handle all those. But hearing Kate utter those words was something he didn’t think he could take.

“I see. Well then, I guess our conversation is over,” he managed with what he thought was admirable aplomb. He stood up. “I guess we’d better get our things together and head for Houston.”

“Jack.” Turning back from the window, Kate gazed at him with a mixture of regret and sadness. “I’m sorry. I—”

“Hey. Don’t worry about it. You did what you had to do to protect yourself.”

“Yes,” she agreed with a wan smile. “Yes, I did.”

She paused, and seemed to be waiting for him to say something more. Keeping his head down, he continued to stuff his dirty clothes into an outside pocket on his hangup bag, and after a moment she added, “For what it’s worth…I’m glad we had this talk.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“It not only cleared the air between us, it made me realize how unfair I’m being to you. I shouldn’t have asked for your help. I’m sorry. I was in a panic and not thinking clearly when I sent you that message. My safety and well-being are no longer your responsibility. I can’t ask you to risk your life to protect me, Jack. So…if you’ll just…well…maybe give me a few pointers on how I can go about finding Colleen you can go back to your assignment and—”

“Forget it, Kate,” he snapped, his nonchalant mask crumbling. “Hell, you won’t last another twenty-four hours on your own. And if I went back now I’d be useless. No, strike that. I’d be worse than useless. I’d be a liability to the other agents on the project. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the mission for imagining you zipped up in a body bag.

“So do me a favor and shut up about handling this situation on your own. Just save your breath and pack your things and let’s get on with it.”