Читать книгу Shroud of Roses - Gloria Ferris - Страница 7

I took a cheese puff out of the bag and let it melt on my tongue. Just as I reached for another, someone tried to open the kitchen door behind me. Fortunately, I had locked it earlier.

A heavy fist slammed against the metal. I stood up, taking my time. I ate the last two cheese puffs, savouring every morsel. The hammering continued as I licked the pseudo-cheese off my lips, folded up the empty bag, and dropped it into the trash can. Then, I went to see what all the fuss was about.

I opened the door and looked up. Yes, exactly what I ordered: one big, blond cop. A white carry-out bag from Chin Chin’s dangled from a gloved finger. Perfect.

He leaned his muscular six-foot two-inch frame on the jamb and pulled on the right ear flap of his mad trapper hat. “I understand you’ve been robbed, ma’am.”

“Yes. Yes, I have, Officer. I’m extremely traumatized.” I placed back of wrist to forehead and fluttered my lashes.

“Sorry to hear that. What did the suspect take?” He cleared his throat and unbuttoned his coat.

“All my clothes are gone. As you can see, Officer, they left me nothing but this white, lacy thong.” I opened my robe, flash-freezing my ta-tas and throwing my high beams on.

He blinked at the thong, go figure. “I’m sorry for your loss, ma’am. May I come in and initiate an investigation?”

I held my ground. “Do you have the warrant?”

He moved closer, forcing me to back away. “I don’t need one. I suspect a crime has been committed on these premises. Please step aside and close the door, ma’am. I am officially freezing my ass off.”

“In that case, I guess you can come in.” I locked the door behind him. Taking the bag of food, I set it on the counter.

He dropped coat, boots, and socks on the floor, and kicked them aside.

“My goodness, Officer, you still look terribly overdressed. Here, I’ll help you out of your clothes, but leave that sexy hat on.” The hat flew across the kitchen and landed on the stovetop. “No? Do you need help with the belt?” The thing had multiple safety releases, likely meant to protect a peace officer in a risky situation such as this. I could only find two of them.

He deftly pressed a clasp and sixteen pounds of equipment clattered onto the kitchen table. “Where’s Rae?”

“In Owen Sound with her sister, Christmas shopping. What’s this thing on your belt? Did you get a second gun?”

“It’s a Taser. I’m the only one authorized to carry it.”

I had always wanted to shoot a Taser. “Can I hold it?”

“No.”

“I just want to see how it works.”

“No”

“Just show me …”

“No.” He took off his pants and shirt and covered the belt with them.

I added my robe to the pile. “Wow. You do have a second gun, Officer. I hope you don’t plan to use it on me.” I ran my nails down his chest and watched the muscles contract.

With shocking haste, his Jockeys came off. “That depends. Right now I need to inspect the scene of the alleged crime.”

“That would be my bedroom. It’s this way. I see you’re bringing that gun. Good idea. You never know what may be hiding in the closet. Or under the bed.”

He gave the bedroom a perfunctory sweep with his navy-blue eyes. “Are you sure this is the right place? I don’t see signs of a disturbance.”

“I assure you, Officer, I don’t have a stitch left.” I whipped off the thong and threw it. He caught it and tossed it over his shoulder. “But, I’m so upset, I may be confused. We can look in the bathroom if you like. Perhaps the shower?”

“Later. I’ll search the bed first.”

He tossed the decorative cushions on the floor and threw aside the duvet. Before I could save myself, he swept me up in his arms and dropped me on the bed.

He jumped in beside me and pulled the duvet over us both. “Start at the beginning. Leave nothing out.”

“Well, if you insist, Officer. I’m sure it won’t take long.”

Seven minutes later, we sounded like a couple of asthmatics as we sucked in air and expelled it. I could feel Redfern’s heart banging against my chest.

“You sweated all over my bed. I just changed the sheets yesterday. Now I’ll have to do it again.”

He ran his finger between my breasts, then held it in front of my eyes. “What’s this? Sweat?” His tongue traced a path from the hollow under my ear, along my collarbone. “Yes, I believe it is. The sweat of a thirty-two-year-old female; five foot two inches, one hundred and ten pounds; crazy, multi-coloured hair; deep brown eyes tilted up at the sides, with criminally long lashes that make men go weak at the knees; perfect lips that, when opened, exude words that will one day land her in jail, or find her fleeing from an angry mob of relatives and neighbours; a small cleft in the firmly-set chin…. By the way, what’s your real hair colour?”

“Are you serious? What kind of a detective are you?”

Redfern pulled me closer. “That’s not a given. I’ve seen …”

“I don’t care to hear what you’ve seen. I’ve been thinking. Can you be a fireman next time?”

He drew his head back. “No. I can rustle up a real fireman if you want one. But I refuse to watch.”

“I understand. You want a ménage à trois. I’ll get back to you on that. I’m starved. Are you?”

“I need a shower first.” He checked his watch — what, was he running behind? Twenty minutes to do Bliss, including a shower? “I appear to be covered in orange finger marks. Have you been eating cheese puffs again?”

“Get over yourself, Redfern. The marks aren’t all over you.”

I looked around for my robe before remembering it was on the kitchen table. My white thong hung from the bedside lamp. Since it was used on ceremonial occasions only, and then very briefly, I stuck it back in the drawer.

Redfern pulled himself free of the tangled mess on the bed and headed for the bathroom.

After doing a few stretches to get the kinks out, I called, “I guess I should join you, just to save water, but don’t get my hair wet. I just washed it this morning.”

My ensuite bathroom had a small shower stall, built for one. With two of us in there, we needed to be inventive, but since Creative is my middle name, we were both clean in a couple of jiffies.

Dried and dressed, I retrieved a container of shrimp chow mein from the microwave and dropped it on the table with the other Chinese offerings. I rubbed the blond spikes on Redfern’s head. “So, how was your day, dear?”

“Interesting.”

We ate from the containers, passing them back and forth across the table. I waited for him to continue. When I looked up from eating around the celery pieces in the chicken chop suey, I found him watching me. I knew that look. Can I trust her not to blab this all over town before dawn tomorrow?

“Listen, if the Weasel called to complain that I knocked his bitch’s hat off in the parade, it’s a lie. The same goes for any kids who say I hit them with candy canes. Bald-faced lies. Maybe it’s Dwayne? He got called to a hot shot and nearly ran over some seniors when he peeled away from the parade. Surely, someone complained about that?”

Redfern plunged his fork into a sesame ball. “Sounds like you had an interesting day, too. But mine trumped yours.”

“How so?”

“Promise to keep this to yourself?”

“Look up discretion in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of Bliss Moonbeam Cornwall.”

“Last week you told me your picture was under flexible. All right, I’ll take a chance. Skeletal remains were discovered in the old high school.”

“No way! I went to that high school!” This is what happens when you waste a day dressed like an elf, handing out candy to ungrateful kids. You miss all the good stuff.

“Tell me, Cornwall, would you happen to be a member of the last class to graduate from that old building?”

“Yes. Have you identified the body?”

“Not yet. There’s not much to go on.”

I shivered. “If it’s female, I know who it is.”