Читать книгу Verse and Worse - Graham Harry - Страница 13

This country is extremely flat,

Just like your father's head, and were

It not for dykes and things like that

There would not be much country there,

For, if these banks should broken be,

What now is land would soon be sea.

So, any child who glory seeks,

And in a dyke observes a hole,

Must hold his finger there for weeks,

And keep the water from its goal,

Until the local plumbers come,

Or other persons who can plumb.

The Hollanders have somehow got

The name of Dutch (why, goodness knows!),

But Mrs. Hollander is not

A 'duchess' as you might suppose;

Mynheer Von Vanderpump is much

More used to style her his 'Old Dutch.'

Their cities' names are somewhat odd,

But much in vogue with golfing men

Who miss a 'put' or slice a sod,

(Whose thoughts I would not dare to pen),

'Oh, Rotterdam!' they can exclaim,

And blamelessly resume the game.

The Dutchman's dress is very neat;

He minds his little flock of goats

In cotton blouse, and on his feet

He dons a pair of wooden boats.

(He evidently does not trust

Those dykes I mentioned not to bust).

He has the reputation too

Of being what is known as 'slim,'

Which merely means he does to you

What you had hoped to do to him;

He has a business head, that's all,

And takes some beating, does Oom Paul.

Avoid a country where the sea

May any day drop in to tea,

Rememb'ring that, at golf, one touch

Of bunker makes the whole world Dutch!