Читать книгу He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys - Greg Behrendt - Страница 31

We’re smart. We get it. We know guys should be attentive and considerate and thoughtful. I mean, for God’s sake, we’re not idiots. We know that they should call us when they say they’re going to and let us know that they’re thinking about us. Duh.

But somehow, just when I think I have that lesson perfectly drummed into that thick skull of mine, I meet the one guy who really does have the perfect excuse for being a flake. His family really is falling apart and he’s the one that has to take care of them all. He really is moving and didn’t know how difficult it was going to be. He really does have that big case at work and can’t be around for a while, but he really does—really, really—like me. And I like him so damn much that I’m willing to be patient and cut him some slack and see how it all turns out.

I know intellectually what I’m supposed to be getting from a relationship. I’m writing a damn book about it. But when faced with being offered less than that (sometimes a lot less than that), it’s hard to know exactly when to cut loose and move on. He forgets to call me one night—am I supposed to just dump him? He forgets to call me three times—is that when I dump him? It’s not easy to find someone you like and are excited about. And you always want to believe that the men you do meet are honest and kind and have your best interests at heart. And when you see the first glimmer of potentially bad behavior, you first hope more than anything that it’s not what you think it is. And you want to make sure you don’t overreact, punishing him unjustly for some other guy’s mistakes. It’s a very complicated and tricky world we live in when we choose to date, and I can’t keep calling Greg all the time and asking him what I should do.

So right now I’m just trying to notice when a guy’s behavior starts making me feel bad about myself—when I start feeling like he’s making me suffer. A little pang of disappointment because he didn’t call when he said he would? Well, that’s okay; we’ll see how it goes. A constant state of uneasiness because he’s completely unreliable? That’s bad. Tears? Really bad. Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. That’s always a good rule to live by, no matter what the special circumstances (i.e., excuses) are. It’s not easy. But let’s try to remember that the next incredible guy we meet with the really good excuse is just another guy who’s hurting our feelings.