Читать книгу The Exceptional Seven Percent - Gregory K. Popcak - Страница 8

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Designing a Marital Imperative

Marriage... transforms a human action into an instrument of the divine action.

—JACQUES LECLERCQ

MAX AND SHELBY have been married for sixteen years. The thing that Shelby says she likes most about Max is his ability to “keep her focused.”

“When I was in college, I was struggling to figure out what I wanted to do when I got out. Around that time I took a philosophy class that changed my life. The professor tried to make the subject more relevant by asking us to focus on not just what kind of work we wanted to do but what kind of people we wanted to be. He asked us to consider our assigned readings from the perspective of finding some guiding principles—a ‘worldview’ he called it. This way, regardless of what we decided to do with our lives we could define success by how we conducted ourselves. I guess I kind of ran with that assignment. I came up with a list of qualities that were important to me, things that I knew would keep me centered regardless of how much or how little money I made or where I ended up in life. I decided to gauge my definition of success by how well I was living up to my principles, and rather than letting these be pie-in-the-sky ideals, I really tried to keep them in mind as I went through my day. I even weeded out potential boyfriends based on whether or not they brought out more of those particular qualities in me. I wanted a marriage partner who was going to help keep me focused on what was really important.

“A lot of times, guys would look at me like I had two heads when I would talk about this stuff. They accused me of ‘thinking too much’ and told me there’d be plenty of time to worry about all that later on, and I should just relax. My friends kept telling me that my standards were too unrealistic. I was beginning to think that I would have to choose between my value system and getting a steady boyfriend. I know that sounds hopelessly shallow of me, but what can I say? It’s how I felt. Thankfully I didn’t have to chuck everything because soon afterward I met Max, and he understood me perfectly.”