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With a new associate’s degree in human services, Army training as a behavioral science specialist, and three years of experience as a counselor, I was ready.

But just as I began sending resumes to prospective employers, I became permanently disabled with a condition that frequently confines me to bed. After about two hours, I must take medication my doctor prescribes or pain forces me back into bed. I can spend about twenty minutes at the computer.

I know the God of my understanding has a sense of humor; I’ve seen examples all of my life, but didn’t recognize it until I got sober. So when I prayed, I said, “If this is your idea of a joke, it’s sadistic. (Poor me, poor me.) Father, did you really carry me all this way just to drop me?” It didn’t sound like the God of my understanding.

I continued with my “poor me” attitude for a while, hoping that medical treatment would help me get back to work. I spent—or wasted—about six months with this mind-set and let my character defects run the show.

While meditating one afternoon, I remembered some advice given by the late actor Bruce Lee: “Turn the stumbling block into a stepping-stone.”

I examined my motives. Had I chosen the human services field for recognition? Was I looking to inflate my ego? Or did I have an honest desire to help those in need? I thought about my time as a counselor in the army. Although I frequently received commendations, I realized that my real reward came the moment I saw the light of hope replace the look of despair in a soldier’s eyes.

I prayed and meditated again, asking God for direction. How could I serve his will rather than my own?

That same night, I got a phone call from a longtime acquaintance in the Fellowship. It was three o’clock in the morning, and she was in a hopeless state of despair. I got dressed and drove to her house. We sat at her kitchen table and talked for more than three hours. Now, that’s what I call a fast response from my Higher Power!

I suddenly understood that even in bed I could answer my phone. I knew our local AA hotline had trouble getting volunteers. Calls were forwarded from the intergroup office to a member’s home phone, or even a cell phone. Because I wasn’t working, I was available twenty-four hours a day.

I got a glimpse of God’s will for me: I could be a hand of AA. I made it known—especially to newcomers—that I was available twenty-four hours a day. Happily, I reached out to newcomers, sponsees, and even some of those who had been sober for “a few twenty-four hours.”

Not only do I feel useful and productive again, I also feel that I am carrying out God’s will, which is not too different from my own. Sometimes we get what we ask for, but not always in the way we imagine. The stumbling block of an inability to work became a stepping-stone to doing what I love best—helping those in a state of crisis.

If I have learned anything from this experience, it’s to have faith and look for clues to the will of my Higher Power. I also need to keep my ego out of the way and let God drive the bus. I do it one day at a time, one step at a time—even if the stepping-stone at first looks like a stumbling block.

ED S.

Scranton, Pennsylvania