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May 1953

There may be too much gristle in this soliloquy for many to chew through to the meat, but in spite of inept pens, two of us would like to discuss the underlying cause of a general feeling in many groups, as we see it, of lengthy frustration.

We have been asked too often lately in too many places, “Why doesn’t this group grow?” and we have only shrugged our shoulders with a cheering word to the leader, instead of giving the answer that “Something may be wrong with your group, and you’re the only one who can change it.’’

This is an unaccusing attempt to spread out on the bar the increasingly common occurrence of one or two stable members of a group becoming its most dependable nucleus and never letting go their leadership and experienced guidance. Almost all groups we have known change secretaries and chairmen regularly. Too often the newly chosen become only the nominal leaders of the group, without a single member recognizing the underlying cause. Of course it is suspected, but suspicion for us is always one of the three little steps to degenerative hate.

The situation usually begins when “the best secretary or chairman the group ever had” steps down, and does not go through the difficult process of turning over everything to the new leaders, including his intangibles—pride in the job and the group’s dependence upon him. The tricks of indispensability are instinctive to us “dipsoenthusiacs”—rather than purposefully thought out.

A couple of concrete examples may clarify the matter. We refer not to the group that merely thinks it isn’t doing so well, but to the many groups that have been traveling backward for a year or more. (From here, we will take turns in the first person singular.)

Last year I found myself in the position of having to start a group or not having meetings to go to. When all my so-called experience did not avail, I gave up; then God started the group. It grew like wildfire for four months and then leveled off in a beautiful fellowship. At our half-year party, someone mentioned that there were no brand- new men, in spite of the increasing death rate from alcoholism in the locality. Something reminded me of a hotel room session long ago, when one of the “First Ten” stated that he did not believe that anyone could stay “in the saddle” over AAs for more than six months without the “governed” beginning to develop saddle sores. (We believe he meant “guided” instead of “governed.”)

At the next meeting, I attempted to turn over the leadership to a lad whose new serene enthusiasm could be an extra asset to any group. He squawked and was a little frightened, and for three weeks the group fought my stepping down, even to the extent of an accusation about shirking my duty. But I stepped down.

The new leader was still a little lost at his second meeting, and on seeing why, I found it a real task to turn over to him everything that had been useful in my chairmanship: contacts with outside key members and AA events; my mental fingers on the group’s Twelfth Step work; personal notes of group value; and writing to request the leaders of other groups to contact him directly instead of secondhand through me. And then before long, the group took on a second spurt of growth, better than the first.

But here’s the catch. I have to admit not giving up my sense of possessiveness toward the group. Our correspondence with the New York office and our area secretary had become a steady flow. I was on the inside of any Twelfth Step work involving group mail and all the other group matters so dear to an AA heart. I notified the various secretaries and event chairmen of our new leader’s name and address, but it didn’t take. And second notices didn’t change our file cards in most of those places. Then, to put it mildly, I found myself “judging”; not turning an occasional piece of mail over to him because I thought it time wasting, or not good for the group, or because I wanted to handle that particular matter myself. Of course I had the experience to do it best! Best for whom?

There are three cases in my book where the “unofficial chairman’s” permanent slip caused the group to have its first growing pains. And several related occurrences that can’t be mentioned because they are individual enough to point an accusing finger, however humorous.

Every densely populated area has its pair of mighty swell paternalists, trying to garner a larger group under their alternate chairmanships by moving their meeting place into a more AA-populated region about once a year. But we give them a pat on the back because they are out in the open with their possessiveness.

To quote an old Grapevine: “The background boss who never lets the group forget about the two who became secretary and chairman and promptly slipped, or about the member who never had enough spare cash to get drunk on until he was put in charge of the kitty.”

The steering committee of one, who says he prefers a small group. (It’s easier to control by soft suggestion.) This is not as common as we thought we first recognized, so be careful not to hurt a right guy who completely lets the group have its will in spite of his well-founded fears.

In several very real instances, we have found the control to be the nonalcoholic wife of the seemingly background boss. She wants to maintain the prestige of their position in a major group, never understanding just how the new person is the most important situation within any group function. These are the wives who answer the phone in the daytime and make it nicely difficult for the stranger to find a certain meeting place on the right day.

And the rare area or intergroup secretary who almost forces groups to keep the oldest hands on the reins by subtle intonations, to ensure his or her own reappointment, and since “younger representatives to local headquarters are not so cognizant of great things in the past.”

For one so-called intergroup, including several counties at that time, two persons actually chose by invitation the more than fifty representatives. For a long time in that district, the rank and file heard little about outside AA, with exceptions of course. Interesting contingent matters formerly discussed at regular meetings were saved for special interest at the privileged little conclaves. The entire assembly seemed to feel that its information was something to be guarded for the proper cliques. I was guilty, too. Any one of us has the traits to get that way.

On the other hand, one finds in some groups at the closed meeting, on the literature table, a blank loose-leaf notebook, up to date with Headquarters bulletins and data for all members to refer to—usually unnecessary, but just another thing to make the post-novice feel that he really belongs.

Both of us were once the lower power behind the scenes for a period, in adjacent groups by coincidence; we need not tell our sins to active paternalists.

We will not discuss the small “captive group” that, through the unintentional instinctive defense mechanisms (wow) in the minds of its founders, prevents the formation of other AA gatherings in counties where actually hundreds of willing prospects have attended meetings during the past decade. Most of the private excuses for maintaining “background directorships” are as valid as those we used for taking the first drink.

It has taken us several years to realize that background chairmanship or secretarism causes a state of affairs whereby the fledgling AA does not acquire quite as many close friends as he may need. Can you fathom it? Maybe the yearlings need a freer opportunity to make minor changes for the worse in your old small group so that it will grow.

Too often, some members don’t make the grade in the splitting of a small group. If your group has been consistently not holding new members for too long a time, and you are the “guiding light,” it might be time for someone to do more praying, and less thinking, working and smooth directing, even though the latter seems impossible to avoid and, when accused of shirking, hurts to the core.

J.K. and J.B., U.S.A.