Читать книгу If Only You Knew - Gwyneth Bolton - Страница 11

The limousine pulled up to the tall and foreboding wrought-iron gate of Carlton’s home. Watching Latonya as she took in the size of the estate, he noticed her give a nervous shudder. Admittedly, it was a lot of house for one man, but he always lived in it when he was in the States. The family estate in the Bahamas was actually much bigger.

Clearly making some sort of mental retreat, Latonya wrapped her arms around herself and held tightly.

When the driver, Paul, opened the door and held out his hand to help her out of the car, she hesitated. Finally, her shaky hand grabbed on to Paul’s and she took two uneven steps forward.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Carlton led her into the house.

Jillian, the head maid, who had been with the Harringtons since Carlton’s parents were alive, came out to greet them. Her pecan-complexioned smooth skin left people in awe when they found out she was well into her sixties. Only her stylishly coiffed hair with startling streaks of silver gave a small hint of her age. Having her around gave Carlton a sense of stability in his life. Even though the petite woman had an opinionated and somewhat bossy nature, she, like his grandfather, had always been there for him.

“Good evening. You’re home early today. And you brought a beautiful young woman home!” Jillian glanced from Carlton to Latonya and smiled brightly.

Carlton noticed a strange expression cross Jillian’s face and he cringed as she reached out her hand to Latonya. He could already see the wheels turning in Jillian’s head. The woman had a know-it-all aura about her that usually didn’t bother him, because he usually didn’t have a reason to mind.

“Hello, my name is Jillian. I all but raised this young man. What’s your name? And will you be staying for dinner?”

Noting the gleam in Jillian’s eye, Carlton realized that he’d never taken a woman to his home before. He took women out. Wined them. Dined them. But none had the privilege of seeing the space he once shared with his parents. The way Jillian stood there grinning, he hoped she wasn’t getting any crazy ideas. After all, they just happened to be in the neighborhood, he told himself. His bringing Latonya Stevens to his home was no big deal. Right?

Latonya hesitated for a second before answering Jillian, and he feared that she was uncomfortable. He knew for sure that he was.

He jumped in to ease her nervousness and his own. “Jillian, this is Latonya, and we won’t be needing dinner this evening.”

Both women looked stunned for a moment. Carlton placed his hand firmly on Latonya’s back, leading her past the well-meaning but meddlesome Jillian.

Latonya stopped and glared at him. She narrowed her eyes and snapped, “Excuse you!” Then she turned, smiled and spoke to Jillian. “Is he always this rude?”

Jillian laughed. “Not always. He has his moments, though.”

“That’s what I figured. One minute he’s behaving like a pleasant human being and the next he’s a complete caveman.” Latonya turned and shot him an angry look. “It’s not attractive, at all.”

Carlton felt himself shrinking under the intense glares the two women shot at him. He didn’t like the feeling. “Well, we just had dinner,” was all he could think of as a response.

“Right. But that was no reason for us to brush past Jillian as if we’re running a marathon.” Latonya folded her arms across her chest.

Jillian busted out in a fit of laughter, and the melody of her laugh along with the sharpness of Latonya’s tone, left Carlton feeling sufficiently chastised. He definitely didn’t like that.

“Anyway, Jillian—as I would have said before we were so rudely interrupted—my name is Latonya Stevens. And we just had dinner at a wonderful Cuban restaurant, so I’m stuffed. But thanks for offering. It’s nice to meet you.”

Jillian now held on to her stomach as she laughed. “I’m going to leave you young folk to your business. You’re going to be all right, girl. I hope to see you again.”

When they reached his suite, Latonya took a step back, put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. “How dare you? Now that nice woman, who could be my grandmother, thinks I’m some kind of whore or call girl here to provide services!”

As he stood in front of a beautiful woman whom he wanted beyond expression, the last thing he felt like doing was having some pointless conversation about what Jillian did or didn’t think.

“She doesn’t think that,” he assured her. “And for the record, I don’t care what she thinks, right now. It doesn’t matter.”

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter to you.”

Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her. Resisting the passion she felt, she placed her palms on his chest and tried to push him away. He grabbed her arms and put them behind her back, walking her backward toward the bed, all the while caressing her lips with his.

With a shuddering pant, she broke away. “You really can’t see that you were way out of line, can you?”

A rush of feelings blazed through Carlton and none of them were familiar. He wondered how this woman could make him feel things he never felt before. And then he was able to name at least one of the foreign feelings, fear. He realized that he was close to ruining any chance he had at really getting to know Latonya and figuring out why she had such an impact on him.

Running his hand across his head, he mumbled, “Okay. I admit it. I was rude a few minutes ago.”

She folded her arms across her chest and tilted her head.

“For the record, I didn’t mean to treat you like a call girl. I just didn’t want Jillian to get started. She can be a bit much at times. And I could see the wheels turning in her head.” He took a step forward and touched her cheek. “Let’s sit down and talk.”

He led her over to the sitting area of his suite and took a seat on the burgundy Queen Anne sofa.

“Your bedroom is bigger than our house,” she mumbled wryly. She turned and looked at him. “This is all just a little overwhelming. One minute I’m at work dealing with my ogre of a boss who hates me. The next minute we’re kissing and the ogre seems to be a sweet prince who likes me. And then I’m dealing with a horny toad who’s rude and revving to jump my bones.”

Carlton flinched. “Ogre? Horny toad? Ouch!” He started laughing, and he couldn’t believe he was laughing when she’d pretty much insulted him. He didn’t usually take insults well. Any other woman would have been shown the door. Latonya Stevens is unlike any other woman. He let the thought settle in his mind for a moment as he continued to laugh.

“It’s not funny,” Latonya said as she struggled to hold back her own laughter. “I’m being serious.”

“I know you are. And I know it’s not funny. Okay, so, what can I do to improve your image of me?”

“Tell me who you are. Really. Ogre, toad or prince?” Kicking off her shoes, she turned, got comfortable on the sofa and waited for his answer.

He pondered the question thoughtfully. “None of the above. I’m just a man who is extremely attracted to a woman who makes him feel things he’s never felt before. A man who is so out of his realm of reality that he is messing up every chance he gets but hopes that you will have patience with him and allow him a few screwups until he can get it right.”

Smiling hesitantly, she said softly, “You know, I feel the same way. It’s weird because I’m usually less affected. You know, if you’ve heard one guy’s pickup line, you’ve heard them all. I’ve never found myself in this kind of situation before. There is definitely something different about the way you make me feel. You’ve been under my skin from the first moment I met you. I think I want you out.”

“I was thinking the same thing. But now, I’m not so sure.” As he stared at the woman in front of him, all of his plans for exorcising Latonya Stevens from his mind went away.

“You’re not sure,” she mumbled in a hiss of breath as she gazed into his eyes.

Confusion was another one of those feelings that he wasn’t typically familiar with. “I’m not sure or I can’t be sure until…” He bent his head down and captured her lips. The meeting felt destined and it was all the assurance he needed. I should have stayed far away from Latonya. She was everything he’d spent his life running from, and having her in his arms, he realized that he would probably never want to let her go.

She responded hungrily to his kiss and he felt his heart swell. Every nerve ending in his body stood at attention, and he felt more alive than he’d ever felt. He wanted the feeling to continue and knew the woman in his arms was the answer.

He lifted his head and took a deep breath. “I’m sure that I don’t want to get away from what I’m feeling for you. I’ve been pretty much trying to get away for the past five months and we see how that turned out.”

Latonya laughed and it sounded like music. “You can say that again.” She stopped laughing and he felt immediately deprived. Her eyes squinted and her eyebrows came together in serious contemplation. “I feel so out of my element just giving in a little to my feelings for you. And that’s without even taking in the fact that we come from two very different worlds.”

“If you are feeling half of what I’m feeling, then where we come from won’t matter.” He had never felt more certain of anything in his life. The woman sitting in front of him could have been from outer space. All he knew was that once he stopped trying to fight his feelings, they took over. He decided he would let them and he wanted her to do the same.

He cupped her cheek in his hand. Since he already felt out of his realm, he figured he might as well go all the way. “Let’s just agree to trust our hearts and our feelings. Trust that they will lead us where we need to be.” He knew it was a big step for him. But he had a feeling taking the step with Latonya was his destiny.

“I don’t know if I can. Things don’t usually work out when people let their hearts guide them. My mother died of a broken heart.” She fiddled with her thumbs and became suddenly interested in her hands. She nibbled on her lower lip for a moment before continuing. “We didn’t have a lot, but for the most part she was happy with her husband and kids. When my father left her…left us, she lost all that happiness. She worked hard to take care of my sister and me. But she stopped taking care of herself. And when she died, the man she loved with all her heart didn’t even come back for her funeral.”

Carlton felt a sharp pain in his heart, and he thought about his own parents. They, too, had been unlucky in love. He opened his mouth to respond to what she’d shared. He wanted to tell her that they could learn from their parents’ mistakes and make it work. He wanted to share his own demons, but he didn’t think he was ready.

A nervous laugh escaped her lips and she mumbled, “Wow, I don’t think I have ever shared that with anyone before. There must be something special about you. Because I keep telling you all my business!”

Smiling, Carlton pressed his lips against her forehead. “Maybe your heart knows it can trust me even though you’re still trying to figure me out.”

She slanted her eyes slightly as she considered what he’d said before saying, “Maybe.”

He kissed her again, slowly probing her delectable mouth and savoring her sweetness. He let his hands trail her body as he slowly stood, taking her with him.

“Wait.” She halted the kiss and ran her hand nervously across her face. She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I need to be up-front about something. I’m not exactly experienced. I’ve never actually done—”

Watching her lips move, he suddenly got an inkling of what she might be trying to say. “You’ve never been with a man before?”

She took a deep breath and shook her head. “I understand if you want to change your mind. I—”

Amazed, he cut her off, looking deep into her eyes so there was no misunderstanding between them. “I still want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in the world,” he said honestly. “I’m just glad you let me know that this is your first time. The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you.”

He bent his head to take in her mouth again and caressed her succulent body. Every curve on her seemed to be made just for his touch. He’d never felt such a surge of pleasure just from touching a woman, a virgin at that. He had her where he’d wanted her from the moment he first laid eyes on her.

Slowly removing her clothing, he led her to the bed. She started to place her arms over her body in an attempt to cover up. However, he moved her arms, admiring her beauty before he bent his head to take her nipple in his mouth. As he suckled, his hands roamed her generous backside.

Every part of him came to attention as he moved his lips down her body, finally stopping between her thighs. The salty, sweet taste of her almost made him lose it. He thought that he would gladly continue to please her this way forever because she was just that addictive. Her essence tasted better than he ever could have imagined. When he felt her shake with her first orgasm, he lapped every bit.

Stopping only after he heard her moans followed by soft sighs, he moved to take of his clothes and get a condom.

Pulling her in his arms again, he kissed her as he guided his muscular body between her thighs. Assuring she had no doubts about what was to take place, he spread her legs and penetrated. Feeling her soft heat envelop him, he shuddered and reminded himself that he had to go slow. When he broke her shield, he hesitated again to make sure she was okay.

He noticed her eyes were tightly shut and her top row of teeth bit down hard on her bottom lip. He swore, thinking that she would draw blood if she bit down just a fraction harder. “Baby, did I hurt you?”

She opened her eyes and shook her head.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.” Her husky voice came out in a whisper that he was positive would send him over the edge.

He covered her mouth with his as he completely filled her.

Latonya refused to cry out even though she felt as if she were being spilt in two. The pain of their initial joining was sharper than she’d expected. She marveled at how she could go from feeling such intense orgasmic pleasure to the pain of the penetration.

Just as she thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, suddenly she felt the unmistakable pleasure of his sure, slow, soulful strokes. He cupped her behind in his hands, moving her in tune with him.

His lips connected with hers again, and she found herself releasing cries she tried to hold in. He kissed her gently, probing her mouth so that the movements of his tongue matched the movement of his hips.

As he moved his kisses to her neck and then her breasts, she began to move her own hips, tentatively at first, but as he picked up a more vigorous pace so did she.

She let her hands roam his strong back and his solid chest. His muscles felt like slippery steel under her hands as she glided across the sweat-soaked skin. She felt his body shiver at her touch, and his muscles flexed and rippled under her hands.

She’d taken a quick peek at him before he joined her in bed and she couldn’t decide which was better, looking at him or touching him. Carlton’s muscular body was perfect from the top of his head to his feet, which were big and strong. His naked body was like one of those statues of Greek gods dipped in sweet dark chocolate with just a hint of milk. Letting her hand trail his back, she decided that she liked touching more than looking. A lot more.

“Oh, baby, you feel so good. So good, I feel like I could never get enough of you. There is no way I can only have you once,” he said, his voice interrupted by grunts and moans.

The accuracy of his statement caused her to close her eyes. She wondered what she was going to do.

Her lids flew open as she felt a tightening in her belly that soon exploded in a release so magnificent it shot from the middle of her thighs to the tips of her toes. Her body writhed and she swore her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

“Oh. My,” she heard herself murmur in a voice that was at least two octaves lower than her normal husky voice.

He moved faster and deeper, nibbling on her neck. Soon she felt another explosion more intense than the first two. This time Carlton followed her orgasm with a release of his own.

They remained still wrapped in each other’s arms for what seemed like an eternity before he rose from the bed to remove their protection.

While he was in the bathroom an unexpected sense of horror and shame came over Latonya. She never guessed she would feel this way so soon after she had been made love to for the first time. She assumed that it was because she really hadn’t been made love to. What they’d shared was probably no more than a romp in the sack for him. But she knew it was so much more for her.

Not wanting to outstay her welcome—or worse, be asked to leave—she slowly got up from the bed and reached for her clothes. She ached between her legs in ways she never thought possible, but she managed to stand. Latonya wondered if the nice maid would be able to call her a cab.

“What are you doing?” The sharp sound of Carlton’s voice caused her to jump.

She pulled her shirt over her head. “I’m going home.”

“No, you’re not. The deal was you spend the night with me.”

“What? The deal was we’d have sex. We did. Now I’m going home.” No way could she stay the night with him. She didn’t think she could take more of his kisses and caresses tonight, and she knew she’d never receive them again.

“Stay the night, Tonya. Please,” he almost begged.

“Look, Mr. Harrington—”

“I think we’re beyond formalities, Tonya,” he countered knowingly.

“Okay, Carlton. I can’t stay the night here. I have to go home.”

“Why can’t you stay?”

She couldn’t believe that he was badgering her about staying the night. He got what he wanted. So did she. Why couldn’t Carlton just let her go? She tried to think of a good reason, anything besides the I-really-liked-making-love-to-you-and-now-I’m-running-scared-before-you-kick-me-to-the-curb excuse running through her head.

“My grandmother, she’s recovering from a stroke, remember? I usually spend the weekends at home with her, but I asked Sue, her home-health aide, to stay with her today, because I had to work.” She gave him a pointed glare before continuing.

“I have to pay her time and a half under the table when she does favors like this, and I can’t afford to have her spend the night with my grandmother.” Grabbing her panties, she started to put them on and winced in pain as she tried to lift her sore leg.

He walked over to capture her hand in his, stilling her movement. “Call her and tell her that you will pay her triple. I’ll pay for it. You’re not leaving here tonight.”

She let out a sharp, sarcastic laugh. “Do you even realize how insulting you are? I’m not a whore. You can’t pay for me for the evening, Mr. Harrington! You can keep your money. I can pay for my own grandmother’s care. I’m not going to neglect her for the entire evening so that I can spend the night in your bed!”

His hand moved from her hand to her face. He caressed her cheek. “I’m just not handling this well at all, am I?” He looked almost vulnerable. “What I mean is, I really want to spend the night with you in my arms. We don’t have to have sex again. In fact, given the fact that you’re sore, we probably shouldn’t. I don’t want this to end yet. So I’m asking you, please, let me cover your grandmother’s care for the evening. Please stay here with me tonight.”

She sighed heavily. “Carlton, what am I supposed to tell my grandmother? That I’m spending the night with a man?”

“Tell her that you decided to go out with some girl friends. I don’t know. Just stay with me. Please?” He gave her another one of his soul-stirring kisses and she was lost.

It’s only one night, she reasoned. She could allow herself to be loved by him for one night, and then on Monday, she could get transferred to another department and keep the memories of what transpired between them locked away.

When the kiss ended, she had to take two deep breaths just to focus.

“I’ll tell you what,” he began. He appeared unsure that his kiss had changed her mind. “You use the phone on the nightstand there to call and make arrangements for your grandmother and I’ll run you a nice, hot bath. You’re probably a little sore and achy and the warmth of the water should help. Is that okay?”

Sighing, she nodded. She had never lied to her grandmother before, but she wanted to spend the night with Carlton more than she wanted anything in a long time. There was no way Latonya was going to tell her grandmother that she was spending the night with a man. Her God-fearing grandmother would think that she had made some kind of mistake raising her. Latonya could hear her grandmother’s response, Peanut, I’m going to pray to Jesus for your soul. What are you thinking staying with some man all night! No, Gran didn’t need to know this.

Latonya picked up the phone and called home. Sue was more than happy to make three times her pay and told her not to worry about her grandmother. Latonya wanted to talk to her, but she was sleeping already. Sometimes, after a frustrating day of relearning how to do things that she at one time had no problem doing for herself, her grandmother took to bed early.

She hung up the phone just as Carlton came strutting out of the bathroom. He was still very naked, and one look at his chiseled form made her glad she decided to stay. She remembered just how each and every one of those muscles felt against her skin, as he held her and stroked her. She let her eyes drink him in. Starting from the top of his wavy black hair to his feet. She stopped there and admired the way each bone, each muscle, each vein seemed perfectly placed. She never knew she had a thing for feet. As her eyes trailed up his muscular thighs, she blinked and realized that hanging around Carlton would no doubt introduce her to many more of her hidden fetishes. Have. Mercy, she thought when she met his dark, smoldering eyes again and saw his desire.

He smiled and her heart jumped. “Your bubble bath awaits you.”

Why is he being so personable? If she had known that sex would have turned him into a decent human being, she would have put him out of his misery months ago. That would’ve meant that she would have been subjected to his sweet, sweet kisses a long time ago.

Grinning, she walked into the bathroom, took off her shirt and underwear and stepped slowly into the deep bubble bath.

Latonya jumped when Carlton stepped into the tub with her and he had to laugh. The tub was more than big enough to fit the two of them with room to spare. And he was nowhere near ready to be away from her yet.

“I figured I’d join you and help you out,” he offered as he poured some of the body-wash liquid into his hands and began to lather her skin. He took a moment to massage her shoulders.

“Umm…that’s nice.” She leaned back into his arms.

Glad that she had relaxed a little and didn’t seem as antsy as she was when she was trying to leave, Carlton exhaled. He realized that she probably felt conflicted about what happened between them. A woman didn’t wait until she was twenty-four years old to have sex and take it lightly. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel some sort of guilt about what had happened between them. It had been too special to him and he wanted it to be special for her as well.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m feeling okay.”

“Really? Better than you were a few minutes ago when you were trying to make your great escape?”

She turned and glanced up at him. “Ha. Ha. Now you’ve got jokes. Okay. I freaked out for a minute. This is new to me. I’ve never felt…like this before. I’ve never done anything like this. And I sort of lost it for a minute and wanted to run.”

Latonya’s wanting to run from her feelings disturbed him, and he didn’t want to put a finger on why. He only knew that if she had left she would have been taking a part of him with her. As new as it all was, he knew that much for certain.

“This is new to me, too. And I can tell you that it was special. What we shared meant more to me than anything. You don’t have to be freaked out about it or feel guilty about it. It was beautiful, and I don’t want it to be a one-night thing. I want more.”

Carlton waited for some response from Latonya, but all he got in return was her even, steady breathing.