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VIII THE NINE-RAY SPREAD
(THE RELATIONSHIP GAME)

Questions

• How do I see my partner and how does my partner see me?

• What shadow do I reflect in the other person or live out in my counterpart?

• How do I consider my relationship overall?

• What does my inner image of the relationship look like?

Background

This is about the relationship between you and your partner. In more precise terms, this is about making contact with the aspect of your partner that reflects you. None of us can be content with ourselves – or with what we consider to be ourselves. As a result, we need the other person, or at least the image of the other person, which corresponds to our expectations. A man experiences himself in a woman through his own unconscious feminine aspect (anima); the woman experiences herself in a man through her own unconscious male aspect (animus). We can emerge from ourselves only when we are prepared to accept that the opposite sex within ourselves can only be recaptured through a partner. Then we enter into a more complete form of the relationship: one in which our present self becomes the part that is only really “the complete self” when it integrates the image of our experience.

Allegory (Adam’s Rib)

The search for the self in the image of the partner is an emotional process, which has already been handled as a biblical allegory in the myth of Eve’s creation from Adam’s rib. It is usually interpreted by saying that this is how original man achieved first achieved the completeness of human existence – including partnership with the opposite sex. But it is also possible to interpret the myth in the opposite way: Adam was, so to speak, made “incomplete” by having a part of himself extended into the world so that he had to seek outside of himself and then integrate it within himself. In this myth of how woman was created, the seed had already been sown for expulsion from Paradise since it is practically an expulsion from Adam’s own self. The goal of human beings is consequently prescribed through God’s will: to reunite the separated parts of our own nature. The motivation to attain the original wholeness is the hunger for what has been lost. It is the hunger for that part of the self beyond the ego, forcing human beings to step out of themselves and into the world.

The door through which we come out of ourselves and enter into the world is our self. If our karma is good, we can certainly confront our inner tensions by perceiving what fascinates us in others as the unredeemed element within ourselves. But we must first understand that we only feel attracted by people towards whom we already have a willingness to be attracted. This leads us to the insight that the part we are searching for in others is the part of the self that needs to be reclaimed from world outside.

The “rib” belonging to us but existing outside of us is the mercy granted to us by God when we had to abandon Paradise and step down into duality. By rediscovering it, we will once again become complete and a part of God. Unless we recognize what is not redeemed within ourselves, we are incapable of any real relationship because we can never truly see or experience the other person separate from our own images and imagination.

Yet, as long as the karma is still clouded by the fog of the unconscious, we will project our unredeemed elements onto the world. Not recognizing them, we fight against them like an evil enemy. We will see through everything the whole of humanity can do for us because we intuitively feel that all things incomprehensible are working against us. With the help of outside circumstance, our projections therefore compensate for our attempted repression. Then we put the label of “destiny” (or chance) on whatever we inflict upon ourselves with the kind assistance of outside circumstances.

At this point, what displeases us in the other person can only be what plagues us in ourselves. For whatever does not plague us cannot be summoned into consciousness by the other. But, on the other hand, if we recognize that we can experience nothing in the outside world that is not already within ourselves, then we can finally discover that every encounter serves a single purpose: to encounter ourselves!

Interpretation

1 The Background of the Relationship

The issue of the relationship.

2 Your Own Relationship Plane

The plane of consciousness upon which you encounter your partner, what you think of your partner, and how you view the relationship.

3 The Relationship Plane of the Other

The plane of consciousness upon which your partner encounters you, what your partner thinks of you, and how your partner views the relationship.

4 The Animus or Anima

The anima of the man or the animus of the woman, meaning the opposite sex within us as seen in the image of the other. This card shows what you look for in the other or what you find within the other as a result of your own search.

5 The Animus or Anima of the Other

This is the anima of the male partner or the animus of the female partner reflecting in you: The man discovers his female aspect within the woman, and the woman experiences her masculine aspect as herself within the man.

6 The Unconscious Relationship Plane

The essence of cards 2 and 4 or the four combinations of man and woman, man and anima, woman and animus, and anima and animus.

7 The Unconscious Relationship Plane of the Other

The essence of cards 3 and 5 or the four types of contact (see card 6).

8 The Shadow

This is the shadow that you cannot tolerate in yourself, project onto the other, and consequently reject in the other: the counterbalance, so to speak, of card 4.

9 The Shadow of the Other

The shadow projected onto you by the other and fought by the other in its role as proxy: thus, the counterbalance of card 5.