Читать книгу The Neighbours: A gripping, addictive novel with a twist that will leave you breathless - Hannah McKinnon Mary - Страница 16

NOW NANCY

“THANKS AGAIN, NATE. Lovely to meet you, Sarah. Hope Abby’s okay. Night.” I closed the front door with a contented sigh and turned toward Liam, who stood behind me. I thought I saw a frown cross his face but as soon as my eyes met his, he smiled.

I put my arms around him and squeezed, relishing how our bodies still fit together perfectly, despite being married for so long. Liam kissed the top of my head, and I couldn’t help noticing how he didn’t really hug me back. I decided he was probably exhausted from the move, so I squeezed harder to make up for it.

“I have a feeling we’ll be very happy here,” I said.

“Still no regrets about moving, then?” he said.

“I already told you,” I said with a smile. “The most important thing is that I’m with you. Still, can you believe we’ve been here a day and we’ve already got such amazing neighbors?”

“Yeah, great,” Liam said, with less enthusiasm than I’d expected as he extricated himself from my embrace. “Although Zac didn’t seem too impressed.”

“Really? I thought he was quite taken with Sarah.”

Liam laughed softly. “No, he wasn’t. He hardly talked to her.”

“Pah. That’s his usual nonchalant way. But I know he liked her.”

“Oh, boy,” he said, heading toward the kitchen. “You’re going to tell me it was your women’s intuition again, aren’t you?”

I forced a laugh. “You know my track record. I’m never wrong.” He had no idea how desperately I wanted that to be true. I’d always been proud of my ability to pick up signals everybody else seemed oblivious to, but I was petrified I’d been wrong once, years ago. Only Liam would have been able to reassure me otherwise, and even imagining him not being able to do so made my palms clammy and my heart speed up. I pushed the thought back into a remote corner of my mind, willing it to keep quiet and hold still. “Anyway,” I said casually as I followed him down the hall, “what did you think of Abby?”

He turned away with a shrug and picked up the remaining slice of pizza nobody had had the courage or inclination to polish off. “Shall I chuck this out?”

“Here, put it in this for Zac. He’ll have it for breakfast.” I handed him a plastic container and wondered if I should let the Abby question go. Comparing myself to other women was an old habit I’d never been able to break. A bit like eating sweets, and singing in the shower, or having two sugars in my tea, even when I went on a diet, which seemed to be every other Monday. “So, what did you think of her?”

He shrugged again. “She wasn’t here long enough for me to form an opinion.”

“She’s pretty.” I kept my gaze on him to see if there was any kind of reaction but got nothing at all, which wasn’t overly surprising. I’d always said he’d make a killing at poker. Sometimes I wished I could crawl into his brain to find out what was really going on in there. Then again, it was probably better I didn’t. What if I found something I didn’t like?

“Pretty, huh?” he said. “Did you think so?”

“Well, not chocolate-box pretty, but very attractive. And she has a great figure.”

He looked at me. “Far too skinny. But now you...you have a great figure.”

His words were like aloe vera on a sunburn. “Yeah, and I bet I look fab after lugging all those boxes around.” I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes more at myself than at Liam because, while I continually craved his praise, believing it had never been my strong suit. Even after he’d told me, years ago, that doubting his compliments was akin to calling him a liar, I still had trouble accepting them.

Liam smiled. “Honestly, love, you look great. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Nate’s eyes grew stalks when he first saw you outside.”

“Stop it. You’re being crazy,” I said, even though I secretly agreed. I’d noticed Nate’s reaction, too. And I had to admit, only to myself of course, that I’d liked it, especially when I’d met Abby. She was the kind of woman who made people trip over their own two feet. The kind who needed five minutes in the morning to look gorgeous, when it took us lesser mortals an hour, and even then we never achieved the same impossible standard. Abby made me feel inferior just by breathing, so the fact that her husband had even glanced at me made my heart rate quicken. The fact that Liam had noticed it too made me practically want to burst.

“You went a bit quiet when you came back with the beer,” I said. “I thought maybe Abby had made a huge impression on you.”

What was wrong with me? I was basically forcing him to find her attractive, pushing him to admit something that would make me feel terrible as soon as he uttered it, but I really couldn’t help myself. I’d done it at school, too. Pointed out the prettiest girl to the boy I liked, then pretended not to be disappointed when he’d asked her on a date instead. But I’d known they’d want to be together, it was only a matter of time. Why bother putting myself through unnecessary heartache? And although I’d got the most handsome boy in the end, it wasn’t so much that I was surprised Liam had chosen me, it was the fact that he’d stayed. Even as he moved into his late forties, Liam was still a catch. He and Abby were comparable to a fine and expensive Château Lafite, whereas Nate and I, while perfectly okay really, were more of a reasonably priced Montepulciano.

I realized Liam hadn’t answered, and I knew that was his way of signaling he had nothing more to say on the subject. It infuriated me sometimes, the way he decided—via his silence—when our conversations were over. Then again he’d told me a million times how he found me attractive. It really wasn’t his fault I never accepted it.

“It’s been a long day. I’m going to bed,” he said. “Are you coming?”

“Only if you’ll inaugurate our new bedroom with me.” I smiled as I cocked my head to one side and raised my eyebrows, images of our naked bodies pressed together flashing through my mind. “What do you say?”

Liam shook his head. “Not tonight, love. I’m knackered.”

“I’ll be up later then.” I tried to keep the clipped tone out of my voice, the one he’d accused me of using when he last refused me. He didn’t say no often, but whenever he did, it felt like a rejection—which it was, of course—but I always thought his reasons of being too tired or having to get up early were an excuse, and that in reality there was something wrong with me. I was getting fat, unattractive, or he was bored of me. Sex meant my husband still wanted me, desired me, loved me. Why did he have trouble understanding that?

“Good night, then.” Liam turned away without kissing me.

And as I stood there for a few seconds, watching him leave the kitchen, I suddenly had an awful sinking feeling that maybe this time, his refusal had nothing to do with me at all.