Читать книгу The Honeymoon Proposal - Hannah Bernard - Страница 9

JOANNA was still reeling over the content of her grandmother’s words when she heard Matt give a shaky laugh. “Wow. Get married? You don’t pull any punches, do you, Esther?” He glanced at Joanna, looking confused as well as shocked. In fact, he was looking as if he expected her to straighten this mess out.

Joanna opened her mouth, but only a squeak emerged, so she closed it and concentrated on trying to remember how her vocal chords worked. Her grandmother squeezed her hand, and she brought Jo’s hand to meet Matt’s on top of her duvet. His hand felt hot on top of hers, probably because her own was ice-cold, a familiar state since they’d broken up. She felt a jolt of recognition at his touch and gritted her teeth. This was no time to wallow in self-pity or a broken heart. This was about her grandmother who had the wrong idea.

A very wrong idea—and it was Jo’s fault.

“I know it hasn’t been long since you two discovered each other,” he grandmother continued. “You’re probably still keeping it a secret from most people, aren’t you? But I’ve seen you together, I was in on it from the beginning, remember? No need to look so shocked.”

Joanna felt her face grow red-hot as Matt’s accusing gaze settled on her. Busted.

Grandma let go of their hands and cradled Matt’s hand in both of hers. “You understand, Matt, don’t you? I need to see my little girl safe. She’s never been able to count on her parents, and I couldn’t bear to leave this world knowing I was leaving her behind all alone.”

“Esther…” Matt said weakly. “Jo is not a ‘little girl’. She’s an adult. She’s an independent woman with a career and her own life. She doesn’t need a husband to be ‘safe’. She can take care of herself.”

“You’re right, Matt. She doesn’t need a husband. But she does need you.” Grandma shook her head. “I know it’s old-fashioned, but then I am a relic. I need this.” She gave a weak wink. “You don’t want me haunting this house and then roaming the earth for centuries, do you?”

“Grandma…” Joanna felt guilty about it, but anger stirred over her grandmother’s scheming. “We can’t. We’re not ready. Please don’t ask this of us.”

Grandma sighed. “And here I thought an old woman would never be denied a deathbed wish.”

If the knowledge that this could indeed be her grandmother’s deathbed hadn’t been at the forefront of her mind, Joanna would have rolled her eyes in exasperated recognition of her grandmother’s manipulation. This was probably the geriatric equivalent of throwing a tantrum. “Grandma…you know I love you. I’d do almost anything for you.” She shook her head. “But I won’t get married just because you want me to.”

Her grandmother took a shallow breath and blinked rapidly. “Don’t say no right away, love. Think about it. At least sleep on it. Matt, what about you? You’ll think about it, won’t you? That’s all I’m asking.”

“Esther, nobody wants to be pushed into a marriage, ” Matt replied, and Joanna sighed in relief at hearing him approach this logically, yet kindly. He wasn’t going to spill the beans. “Besides, nothing will change. Our relationship won’t change any by rushing into marriage.”

“It’s already too late for me to see your children be born. I so want to know you’ll be safe with each other before I leave. Marriage is a sanctuary, children. I know you love each other. If you get married I know you will always shelter each other. Matthew, I know you love Joanna. I know you’ll always take care of her, but both of you need the safety that comes with complete commitment.”

His smile was sad. “You know, Esther, there are no guarantees, even with love, and even within a marriage.” He glanced at Jo. “Sometimes your best just isn’t good enough.”

“Don’t say that, Matthew. You have to enter into this marriage with optimism.”

Matt shook his head and his tone hardened just a bit. “Esther, please give this up. Joanna and I aren’t ready for marriage yet.”

Despite the shock and sizzling anger over her grandmother’s interference, Joanna winced at seeing disappointment darken the lined face. Her grandmother’s health had been frail for weeks now. Originally there hadn’t seemed any point in making her miserable by telling her that she and Matt had broken up—especially not when just the thought of having to explain the what and why had been so painful. It would have forced Esther to take sides, and Jo hadn’t wanted that either. So, day after day, she’d postponed it. It had been easier to let her think they were still together, that the long evenings Jo sometimes had to spend at her new workplace were spent with Matt. She’d pushed that problem ahead of her, hoping….

She bit her lip—she’d hoped Matt would be the one to tell her grandmother they weren’t seeing each other anymore. This was all his fault—why should she be the one to break an old woman’s heart? Esther had been thrilled when her only granddaughter and her favorite godson had fallen in love—she would be devastated to hear they had broken up.

Of course, Matt didn’t see Esther very often, so unlike Jo he hadn’t had the opportunity to tell her anything.

Until now—and he couldn’t be allowed to tell her now. Not when she was so weak. Would he understand?

She stole a glance at Matt, sitting there, his hand still in Esther’s hand, his expression brooding, but the surprise had vanished already. At least he’d caught on. This was no time to dump the truth on Grandma, and he seemed to understand that. Her shoulders slumped in relief, even as she realized that her omission of truth was now digging them an even deeper hole.

Esther snorted. “Nobody’s ever ready for marriage. Even when they think they are, they aren’t.”

“We’re nowhere close to ready, Grandma. Neither of us is,” Jo said, her voice clipped. She strove to add warmth to it—she didn’t want Grandma to catch on to the truth after all. “Not now. Who knows what will happen later on.” She almost grinned to herself as she caught Matt’s surprised glance. If they really still were together, and in this predicament, she could just picture the panicked look on his face at hearing her voice the possibility of marriage.

She’d already been dreaming about forever-after, but she very much doubted he had. The closest he’d come to articulating feelings for her had been burrowing up to her, half-asleep, muttering that it was impossible to get close enough. It had warmed her heart at the time, making it leap in hope as she whispered “I love you” soundlessly against his skin, making sure he wouldn’t hear it. Not yet. She’d never felt secure enough to say the words—not when he never came close to mentioning love himself.

And he never had.

“But it’s so obvious that you two are in love,” Esther said. She grinned, a teasing look on her face as she looked at Matt. “It’s been obvious since that day just before Christmas when my granddaughter dropped by one evening, walking two feet above the ground with her skates around her neck and smiling so widely I worried that her face would split.”

“Grandma…” Embarrassed, Joanna fiddled with her hair. A few weeks ago it had been long enough to provide a much-needed shelter to hide behind when she was blushing. But not anymore—three inches just wouldn’t do. “Don’t bring that up now…”

Grandma winked at Matt. “Could that have been a first-kiss day?”

Matt chuckled. Joanna heard the sound, and could imagine the grin that went with it. The grin that would have gone with it, she corrected herself, if theirs was still the relationship her grandmother thought it was. She didn’t want to think about their first kiss, and she was sure Matt didn’t want to either. She stole a look at him, and saw a faint smile as he held Esther’s hand. She took a deep breath. All she could do was pray Matt understood and would continue to keep up the act, at least until Esther was better. She wouldn’t risk her grandmother’s health on heartbreak.

Her grandmother’s face sobered, and her thin hand tightened around Matt’s. “Matthew, I don’t have much time. I honestly don’t think it’ll be more than a few days now.”

“Don’t say that,” Joanna chided her grandmother gently. “You’re not going anywhere. We need you on our side for a while yet.”

Grandma squeezed her hand. “I’m ready for the other side, love. But I don’t want to leave you unless I know you’re in good hands.” She released Jo’s hand and enveloped Matt’s hand with both of hers. “Matthew, you were always a good boy, and you’ve grown into a fine man. Will you promise me that you will always look after my Joanna?”

Matt glanced up at Joanna, his expression unreadable. His gaze fell back on the frail old woman in the bed, and his smile was soft and gentle. His words were smooth, without hesitation, and they sliced Jo’s heart. “I promise, Esther. I will look after Joanna the best I can.”

Esther’s sigh was wheezing. “It will have to be good enough, I suppose.”

Joanna didn’t speak as they left the room, just gestured for Matt to follow her to the kitchen to be sure they were out of her grandmother’s hearing range. The old lady had intended to take a nap, but it wouldn’t hurt to be on the safe side.

She walked into the kitchen, intending to sit down at the kitchen table, but felt too high-strung to stay in one place. She stood instead, motioning for Matt to sit down, but he declined, leaning against the kitchen counter instead, his arms crossed on his chest. He looked intimidating; his eyes boring into hers whenever she dared meet them. She gave a deep sigh. He wanted an explanation. And she owed him one. Or two. Or three.

Or did she? This was just as much his fault as it was hers. He was the one responsible for their breakup and if he’d visited his godmother more often, he could have been the one to tell her. Why should it have to be her responsibility when nothing of this whole mess was her fault?

“I suppose you have some sort of an explanation for this?”

Joanna rubbed her forehead, feeling exhausted. Too exhausted for a showdown. “Does it matter? I didn’t know what she had in mind. I never dreamed she’d try to push us to get married.”

“You know I’m not talking about that…marriage proposal.” Matt shook his head. He got his laptop from his briefcase, plugged it in and connected it to the phone line as he spoke. Joanna felt a melancholy smile of exasperation tug at her lips. This too was familiar, the way Matt could work while he talked, while he ate, while he watched television. It didn’t matter what he was doing, he could always give some portion of his attention to his work. It could be very irritating, but she’d been working on reforming him. One way she’d always managed to grab all his attention was by…

No. She bit her tongue hard and pinched her own arm for good measure. Compost heap again. Things sure seemed to ferment there.

“Let me summarize,” Matt said, his voice dry. “Esther still thinks we’re madly in love, and is ecstatic at the thought of her two favorite people having found each other.”

Jo gritted her teeth, unsure if what she was feeling was fury or fear. Madly in love? Was that just a sarcastic choice of phrase, or had he known about her feelings all along? “I know. I know, Matt, there’s no need to rub it in.”

And now it had gotten her in trouble. Matt in trouble. Both of them.

“You could at least have warned me,” Matt said, still doing that infuriating trick of dividing his attention between her and his laptop. “You should have warned me that she didn’t know. I nearly gave it away.”

“Yes. I should have.” Joanna paused, at a loss to explain why she hadn’t done that, why she’d postponed telling Matt the truth until it was too late. “I guess I hoped the subject wouldn’t even come up.”

And look where it had got her. Her grandmother had proposed to Matt on her behalf.

Matt’s laugh was short and harsh. His feelings were betrayed by the way he slammed the laptop shut. “I would say it did come up.”

Joanna shook her head. “I would never have guessed she’d do that.” She sighed, suddenly furious with herself. “I know it was cowardly of me, but I just couldn’t tell her. At first I just wanted to wait until…” she broke off. There was no need to let Matt know precisely how crushed she’d been after their breakup, how the merest mention of his name had been enough to threaten tears flowing. “When her health declined, I didn’t want to add to her worries. She adores you. She was so happy thinking we were seeing each other, and somehow it was never quite the right time to tell her.”

She sighed, leaning her head against the wall, still not looking at Matt. “I couldn’t bear to tell her, not even this afternoon when she demanded that I call you. I don’t regret that—I’d rather pretend we’re together than take any risks with Grandma’s health. But I should have warned you—I’m sorry that I didn’t.”

Matt didn’t reply. When she finally looked at him, he was staring out the window into the darkened garden, his brow heavy, lips tight. “You should have called me before. I had no idea she was so ill.”

“She’s getting on in years, Matt. What did you expect? It’s not my role to make sure you spare the time to visit her.”

“Spare the time?” Matt looked at her, then looked away and shook his head. He was silent for a while, then shrugged as he spoke again. “Well, you’re right. I should have visited. But I would have appreciated a call to let me know she’s failing.”

Joanna clenched her fists and turned her attention away. “You’re right, I should have let you know sooner. But that’s irrelevant now. What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t know anything about…what happened at work?”

Joanna straightened up and met his gaze directly. “No.”

“She does know you switched jobs?”

“Yes. She thinks it’s because the company enforces a strong policy against office relationships.”

“It does have that policy.”

“You think I don’t know that, Matt?” They’d ignored that policy, which was the whole reason her entire future had nearly gone down the drain. Yes, she knew well enough about it.

“But she knows nothing else?” Matt asked.

“No. And we’re not telling her. She thinks we’re dating—and now she wants us to get married. That’s all that matters now.”

“I see.”

“Do you?” she demanded. “She’s old and weak. She thinks she’s dying. She may be right. She’s so happy thinking we are an item. She can be old-fashioned at times, but she worries about me and she thinks I’m safe with you.”

“I see.”

“Of course we’re not getting married, but we can’t ruin her illusion of us as a happy couple.” Her mind was made up. They would keep up the pretence until Grandma was better. Or…until there was no longer a need for it. “Not now. You can’t tell her we broke up.”

He opened his mouth.

“Matt, say ‘I see’ one more time, and there will be no more coffee for you in this kitchen.”

He looked at her in surprise, and then he smiled. His smile shot a flash of almost forgotten heat through her and she looked down into her coffee mug, trying to break the spell.

The doorbell rang, and she was grateful to escape. At the door, her grandmother’s three bridge partners clustered on the top steps, and somehow the three five-foot-tall ladies managed between them to dwarf the tall elderly gentleman standing in the middle, looking rather shell-shocked.

“Anna, Rose, Nora,” she acknowledged and stepped back. The old ladies filtered in, kissing her cheeks and chattering in a chorus. They visited her grandmother almost daily, and the laughter that filled the house during their visit, was probably better for Esther than all the doctors and medications in the world.

“Harlan Carlson,” the man said, holding out a hand and smiling. He looked very distinguished with his silver hair and a neatly trimmed white beard, but not familiar. “I’m an old friend of your grandmother’s. You must be little Joanna. We met many years ago, but you were very young, so you probably don’t remember me.”

Jo tried to place him, but with no luck. Her grandmother had so many old friends. “I’m afraid I don’t,” she replied apologetically, looking at the three ladies who were busy creating a mountain of outer garments after having piled their shopping bags in an equally impressive pile. Apparently they’d arrived directly from an extended visit to the mall. “But it’s always a pleasure to meet my grandmother’s friends, Mr. Carlson. Are you a new addition to the bridge club?”

His face creased in a hearty chuckle. “I don’t think so. Esther called me a few days ago—I’m very much looking forward to seeing her again.”

Joanna nodded, and beckoned him to follow as the three ladies filtered in a row toward Esther’s room, talking loudly amongst themselves. Matt came out of the kitchen, shook hands with Mr. Carlson and was affectionately attacked by the three ladies. They followed the horde to her grandmother’s room.

Esther was sitting up, almost bouncing at the sight of her friends filling the room. The air resounded with smacking kisses and fuss as everybody got comfortable at their usual stations. Mr. Carlson waited while the ladies got their greetings over with, and Matt leaned against the windowsill, his expression giving away nothing.

“Grandma?” Jo stood up on tiptoe and waved a hand to get her grandmother’s attention over the crowd at her bedside. “Harlan Carlson is here to see you.” She beckoned Mr. Carlson to step closer.

Grandma smiled and waved at him. “Harlan! It’s been forever, hasn’t it? I see your hair is turning white, just like mine.”

“I’ll bring up some coffee for your friends, Grandma,” Jo said, and turned to leave the room.

“No—wait a minute, Joanna. It’s because of you that I got Harlan here.”

Jo turned around and squirmed between Nora and Rose to her grandmother’s bedside, waiting for her grandmother’s explanation. She was pretty sure this had something to do with dying. Was Mr. Carlson here to draw up a will, perhaps? She suppressed a sigh and a twinge of fear. “What do you mean?”

Grandma looked up at her, pleading in her eyes. “Harlan is a retired judge. He can marry you and Matt.”

“What?”

“Please, Jo. Get married. Now. I know Matt will agree if you do. Harlan can marry you now.” She reached up and stroked Jo’s cheek. “You could be Mrs. Bentley in one hour, love.”

Jo felt her insides heave. The silence in the room was deafening; even the bridge trio held their breath. “Grandma—you called for a judge, so he could marry me and Matt—here and now?”

An almost imperceptible nod, the look on the lined face a blend of guile and hope. “Harlan retired a while ago, but he can still perform weddings. Of course we don’t have the paperwork, but…he’s an old friend—I called in a favor.”

Mr. Carlson—Justice Carlson—cleared his throat. “This is very unusual,” he said, looking between her and Matt. “I probably wouldn’t be doing this for anyone except Esther, but I understand…” He hesitated, then shook his head. “Well, there is considerable urgency. You don’t have a license, so you have to realize this is not a legal ceremony. You’ll have to do this again officially, with the proper paperwork in order.”

Jo felt tears teeter at the corner of her eye. She blinked them away. This was funny, she told herself. She’d tell her friends about this next week, and they’d have a good laugh. “Grandma—I can’t believe this! What happened to ‘sleep on it’?”

“I was speaking rhetorically. You’ve had time to think about it.”

“Grandma, please. Don’t do this. It’s not right. Don’t try to control our lives. Don’t do this to us. I don’t want to disappoint you, and neither does Matt, but we can’t do something this drastic just because you want us to. Please, don’t do this.”

Esther squeezed her hands together. “Forgive me, Joanna, but I must meddle. It means so much to me to see you marry Matt before I leave.”

“Justice Carlson just said, it wouldn’t be legal, Grandma.”

The old lady waved away her objections. “Harlan can marry you now—to me that’ll be just as valid as any other wedding. Then you’ll just do it all over again with the paperwork and rice later. The important thing is that you make the commitment to each other, that you say the vows. That’s all that matters. There’s time enough for the petty details later. Time that I don’t have,” she added with a sigh.

“But it’s not…”

Grandma didn’t let her interrupt. “I know. You want a proposal from your man, not an old lady ordering him to marry you. But things are urgent now.” She lifted a finger at Joanna and managed to wave it around without moving her hand. “I bet you would rather that I boss you around now than that I haunt you in the afterlife, wouldn’t you?” She grinned, a lively spark in her eyes that belied a woman on her deathbed. “I haven’t seen your grandfather in twenty-two years. We’ll have better things to do than chase after you, rattling our chains.”

Esther’s friends cackled, and Joanna couldn’t help but smile, even as tears continued to well in her eyes. This woman had been everything to her, a substitute for the parents that had never been there. “Don’t worry about me, Grandma. I’ll be fine. I don’t need Matt to look after me, any more than he needs someone to look after him.”

“Oh, he does, love. It’s not just him who has to do all the work. You need to look after Matt for me. That’s why I need you two to get married.” A trembling hand reached out for the glass of water on the nightstand. “I’m afraid I don’t have much energy. I think I need to rest soon again.” A long time passed as she brought the glass to her mouth, drank, and put the glass back down. She was so weak now, Joanna thought in anguish. Just a couple of months ago she was walking the dogs by herself, and now she had to struggle for a drink of water.

“Tell me children, will you do this for me, let me see you get married before I die?” There was a desperation in her voice, hope in her eyes that cut Joanna to the quick. She covered her face with her hands for a minute, then dropped them, dejected. She took a deep breath. Matt was standing silently by the window, arms crossed as he stared out into the evening darkness. No help there.

There was no choice, was there? She’d have to tell her the truth, hoping she could put it gently enough, hoping her grandmother would understand, wouldn’t be too disappointed, wouldn’t grieve too much for a future her granddaughter and godson would not share. She leaned forward and patted Esther’s hand. “Grandma…You don’t understand…There’s something you should know…” She looked at Matt, pleading for assistance, but his profile was hard and distant. She sighed and looked back at her grandmother. “Grandma…We’re not…”

Grandma waved a hand, dismissing her concerns. “I know. The two of you haven’t been together very long. But I don’t have time. It would mean everything to me to see you safely together—and it’s so obvious that you belong together.”

Oh, God. How could she explain this? “It’s not…”

“Jo, could we speak outside for a moment?” Matt had turned around and was nodding toward the door. “We’ll be back in just a few minutes, Esther.”

Esther smiled. “Take your time. I know my request is a shock…” She gestured weakly. “It would just mean so much to me. Discuss it. I’ll just chat with the girls and Harlan while you’re talking. Take all the time you need. We have all evening.”

All evening. Terrific.

Matt strode to the kitchen, his steps long and fast, and he was already pouring more coffee into their mugs when Joanna reached the door.

He grabbed the mugs in one hand, sugar and milk in the other and flung himself into a kitchen chair, banging the two mugs on the table hard enough to splatter coffee on the wooden surface. He motioned her to sit down opposite him, and she reluctantly did so.

“She’s bluffing, Jo. You’ve got to know she’s trying to manipulate us.”

“Of course she’s trying to manipulate us! She wants us married before she dies, and she’s not above using emotional blackmail.”

“Are you sure things are that serious? She’s looking well…” He shook his head. “I find it hard to believe she’s really that sick.”

“You haven’t been here, Matt. You haven’t watched her deteriorate. You didn’t move her things to the downstairs bedroom because she could no longer master the stairs, you haven’t been here to see her stop getting dressed in the morning.”

“Have you called in a specialist to look at her?”

Jo shook her head. “You know how she is with doctors. It’s good old Dr. Harrier or nobody.”

“She could be lying to us.”

“Lying?” He was dismissing her, dismissing her fears for Grandma, dismissing the old woman’s frail health, and his callousness infuriated her. “How can you say that? Why would she lie to us about something so serious? Just to get us married, when she thinks we’re heading that way anyway? If you’re thinking about confronting her with that suspicion, forget it! She doesn’t deserve being called a liar, just because it’s convenient for you!”

Matt stared at her for a long moment, then looked down into his coffee. There was silence in the kitchen for a long time before he spoke again. “Okay. I’m sorry. You know the situation better than I do. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but she seems fine to me—and we both know how she likes to meddle. But I suppose it’s just wishful thinking on my part that she’s actually faking.” He took a deep breath. “Fine. We assume she’s telling the truth. The way I see it, we have three choices. One—we can tell her we broke up. She’ll be pretty devastated. Two—we can stick to our guns and tell her we’re not ready to get married. The same there, she won’t like it, and she may try to make us feel guilty, but she’ll accept it sooner or later.”

Neither option sounded appealing. “And the third?” she prompted, hoping Matt had come up with a magic solution that would fix everything.

“We can do what she wants and get married.”

Joanna opened her mouth to reply, and shock started a coughing fit instead. It didn’t subside until after she had taken long gulps of the glass of water Matt pressed into her hand to replace the coffee mug.

“Bad joke, Matt. Really bad one,” she mumbled when she could speak again.

“It’s probably the safest solution if you’re worried about the shock to her health.”

“What next? She’ll ask us to have triplets, and we run straight to the fertility clinic?”

Matt stopped stirring his coffee and sent her a penetrating glance. “Jo, if you’re right, and she really is dying, we’re not going to get to do her any more favors, are we?”

Jo stopped breathing for a moment. It was one thing to listen to her grandmother’s proclamation of imminent death—she was used to that by now, although it hurt every time. It was something else entirely to have Matt say those words. “She can’t die…” was all she could stutter.

Matt shook his head. “We can’t know, Jo, we can only hope she’ll be fine. But you’re right, we owe her. If she really is sick and we can make her last days happy by pretending to get married, I’d say it’s worth it.”

“Pretending to get married? Are you suggesting we lie to an old woman on her deathbed?”

Matt shrugged impatiently, the simple gesture making her feel she was being unreasonable. “Does it matter? If I have a choice between lying to her or making her last days miserable, I’ll go with the lie. What harm could it do?”

“I can’t lie to her like that. I can’t. And it would be too complicated. She’d want to attend the wedding.” She shook her head. “And don’t even say it. I’m not going through with a fake wedding.”

“Jo, she knows a wedding here and now won’t be a real, legal one. She brought her friend here without warning—she knows we don’t have a license. She doesn’t care about the legalities, for her it’s the ‘I do’ in front of each other and witnesses that matters.” He shook his head. “I’m not sure how she got a judge to agree to this, but Esther’s always been good at manipulating people, hasn’t she?”

Joanna stared at him, almost unable to believe he was really suggesting this. The idea was preposterous. It was out of the question.

She was still working on getting over Matt. Marrying him wouldn’t help the healing process.

Yet, it was the easiest way out of this mess. Her grandmother would be happy, and there wasn’t anything lost, was there? It was just one ceremony, some pretending. It wasn’t as if this would be a real marriage.

Matt tilted the half-empty mug and pushed it back and forth on the table, his dark eyes weary. “Well? Shall we do it?”

He sounded as if he had just offered to have his head cut off. He wasn’t any happier about this than she was, but that was beside the point. He was willing to make this sacrifice for Esther. Of course she was too.

Without realizing, her mind had been made up. She nodded. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Matt nodded, his expression grim now. She stood up and occupied herself with making a fresh pot of coffee. Matt poured the remains of the old coffee into his mug, and she remembered how he didn’t really mind—didn’t really notice—whether coffee was scalding hot or tepid.

More memories from the compost heap. She didn’t want to remember him and his coffee, or how he smiled when seeing her after a long separation, or how he kissed her absently when thinking about something else. Or the wrinkle that appeared between his eyes when he was talking on the phone, or the way he didn’t get around to getting his hair cut until three weeks after it was beginning to irritate him.