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Positive thinking vs. negative thinking

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. Think positively and you're likely to enjoy positive results. Negative thinking, on the other hand, can lead to outcomes you'd rather not have. Negative thinking undermines your confidence. It contributes to indecision. It defeats you. It beats you. It creates the ‘bad luck’ that you'll later lament.

Think positively and you'll feel able to manage and do well. Think negatively and you're likely to feel overwhelmed and powerless. What you think and say to yourself can have quite an impact on what you can and can't do, as shown by this simple exercise. Try it for yourself. You'll need another person to help.

Part 1:

○ Ask the other person to stand and extend their dominant arm out horizontally, at shoulder level so that their arm is parallel with the floor.

○ Ask them to think of a time when they failed at something – a test or exam or job interview, for example. Then ask them to think negative thoughts about themselves: ‘I’m weak. I'm not as clever as other people. I'm hopeless. I'm pathetic, I'm not good at anything. I can't do this.'

○ Ask the person to continue thinking the negative things. Tell them you are going to stand behind them and attempt to pull their dominant arm down to their side. Ask them to resist you pulling their arm down.

Part 2:

○ Now, ask the person to hold their dominant arm up again at the shoulders, parallel to the floor.

○ This time, ask them to think of a time when they achieved something, succeeded and did well at something – passed a test or exam, got offered the job, did well in a sport, for example. Then ask them to think of positive things about themselves: ‘I try my best. I can do well. I feel good about myself. I am a good person. I am strong. I can do this.’

○ Ask them to repeat the positive statements to themselves while you attempt to pull their arm down to their side. Ask them to resist the pull.

Typically, in the first part of the exercise, the person's arm is more likely to give way to your pull. Negativity overwhelms them and it's not easy for them to be strong. However, when the person's thoughts are positive, their body has the ability to resist the force that's pulling their arm down. They are more likely to stay strong and resist your pull.

So what does this little experiment prove? It shows us the power of our thoughts over our bodies. When we think negative thoughts, we tend to zap our strength. When we have positive thoughts, we become stronger and are more in control.

You are what you think. And what you think, you are.

It's important to know, though, that neither negative thinking nor positive thinking is more real or true than the other. Either way of thinking could be real or true. But what does make one way of thinking more real is the one you choose to think and believe. As Shakespeare said, ‘For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’

Your thoughts can be understood as your ‘self-talk’ or your ‘inner voice’. Your self-talk provides you with a running commentary rather like the constant text at the bottom of a 24-hour news channel. This self-talk directs your thinking and shapes your beliefs, expectations and actions.

Self-talk has a way of creating its own reality. Telling yourself you can do something can help it happen. Telling yourself you can't do something can make it more likely to be true. And because your brain speaks with your own voice, whatever it says, it feels real and it feels true.

To a greater or lesser extent, we simply accept particular beliefs and ways of thinking. That's all well and good if those thoughts are helpful and constructive. It's not so good if those ways of thinking are negative and produce thoughts and feelings that are unhelpful and self-defeating.

Positive intentions of negative thinking

So if positive thinking is the most helpful, beneficial way to think, why do we think in negative ways? Let's start by trying to understand this.

Negative ways of thinking are an aspect of emotions such as fear, worry, anxiety, disappointment, guilt, shame, regret, resentment and jealousy. Often, these emotions include thoughts such as ‘I can't do that’, ‘I’m scared', ‘It's not fair’, ‘I’m such an idiot', ‘It's his fault’, ‘It's her fault’, ‘Nothing ever goes right for me’ and ‘I wish I hadn't done that.’

We usually think of emotions like fear, worry, disappointment etc. as ‘negative emotions’. Why? Because they make us feel bad. And yet, these emotions, like all other emotions, do actually have a positive intent.

Take, for example, the emotion of guilt. Typically, the thoughts that accompany guilt are ‘I’ve screwed up, I shouldn't have done that, it's my fault. I feel bad about what I did.'

How can this way of thinking be positive? Well, the positive intent of guilt is to prompt you to recognize your wrongdoing and then to think about and take action to put right or make up for what you did wrong.

If, though, when you feel guilty you simply wallow in your guilt, beat yourself up about what you did wrong or try and suppress or deny how you feel, then your thoughts and actions (or lack of action) remain negative. Those thoughts and actions or inactions do you no good whatsoever.

The positive intentions of ‘negative’ emotions act in the same way as the positive intention of physical pain. If, for example, you touch something really hot, the pain makes you pull away. It feels bad, but the positive intention of that pain is to protect you. It's the same with emotional pain; it can prompt you to take positive action.

What about a difficult emotion such as regret? How can that be positive? The positive intent of regret is to prompt you to learn from what you now wish you had or hadn't done; to behave differently in future. Regret is only negative when you are stuck in regret; you allow it to keep you there and leave you feeling defeated and hopeless. But it's not the emotion that's negative, it's your thinking and lack of positive response!

Furthermore, the fact that you know that emotions such as guilt and regret make you feel bad can actually motivate you, too. They can motivate you not to do something that could result in you feeling guilty or regretful.

Narrow perspectives

Emotions such as guilt, fear, anger, sadness and regret narrow your perspective and your thinking. There is a good reason for this; narrowed thinking focuses your attention on the ‘negative’ situation so that it becomes the only thing you can think about in order that you take action. Positive action. Again, just like putting your hand on something hot, all your attention is focused on it, and your response ispositive (and quick!).

Supposing, for example, you're anxious about a test or an exam. The positive intent of anxiety is to focus your thoughts on what you need to revise. It starts to work against you, though, if the anxiety overwhelms you.

Or, supposing one Friday evening you notice a mole on your arm that seems different. You're worried about it. Worry forces you to think about little else over the weekend other than getting to see a doctor on Monday. It's annoying that you can think of little else, but the fact that you are so preoccupied makes it likely you'll go and see the doctor and get the mole checked out.

Another example of an emotion that narrows and focuses your thinking is sadness. Sadness helps you to slow down enough to take in and adjust to your loss.

Emotions such as sadness, anxiety, worry and guilt might not feel good yet they do have beneficial aspects if you respond to them positively. If you don't act positively on those emotions, if you let them overwhelm you, they can contract and distort your world and keep you feeling bad.

In contrast, ‘positive’ emotions such as hope, compassion and happiness and their associated positive thoughts, can expand your world and the possibilities in it.

Broad perspectives

Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson's research at the University of Carolina shows that positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities and open your mind, which in turn allows you to see more possibilities and options in a range of situations in your life.

In an experiment by Fredrickson, groups of people were shown different film clips. The first two groups were shown clips that created feelings of contentment and joy. The last two groups were shown clips that provoked feelings of fear and anger. Afterwards, each participant was asked to imagine themselves in a situation where similar negative or positive feelings would arise and to write down as many ways as they could think of that they could respond.

Participants who had seen images of fear and anger wrote down a few responses. Meanwhile, the participants who saw images of joy and contentment wrote down a significantly higher number of actions that they would take.

A University of Toronto study even suggests that what we see can be affected by a positive or negative outlook; that positive or negative thinking can change the way our visual cortex – the part of the brain responsible for processing visual information – operates. The study showed that when in a positive mood, our visual cortex takes in more information, while negative moods result in tunnel vision. It would appear that seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses is more than a metaphor!

Positive emotions and their associated positive thoughts open you up to new ideas and new experiences and possibilities. You feel positive about situations and other people. Ten years ago Lou worked for a local government authority. Here, he explains how his perspective differed from that of his colleague, Ned:

I was offered redundancy from my job. Although it wasn't a brilliant redundancy package, I took it.

Telling my friend Ned about it, he thought I was mad to take redundancy; I had two children and my wife was expecting another child. I explained to Ned how free I felt and I told him about my plans to start an online greetings card business.

Ned still thought I was mad; all he could see were the risks. But my view of the world was one of opportunity and new horizons. Of course I realized it wasn't going to be easy but I would be free from the rat race, I would be my own boss, my time would be more flexible, and I would get to see my wife and children a lot more than I had in the past. I was excited about the possibilities opening up to me. And if it didn't work out I would do whatever it took to get back into employment.

Ned didn't understand. He told me that for him, the security of a full-time job was the most important thing. He said that even though he really didn't enjoy his job – it was stressful, he hated his boss and he often worked long hours – he couldn't see any other way. He felt trapped.

Well, as it turned out, I worked at my business for three years and made a reasonable living from it. And I got to spend a lot of time with the children. I eventually sold the business because my wife was made redundant and we figured I'd have a better chance of getting a well-paid employed job. She had also reached a point where she wanted to spend more time at home.

Lou's positive thinking reflects an open mind and broadens his ideas, thoughts and actions whereas Ned's negative thinking limits and narrows his world, his opportunities and choices.

Positive thinking brings hope; the feeling that what you want can happen or that events can turn out for the best. Negative thinking creates a spiral of unhelpful thoughts and difficult feelings. Even when good things happen, negative thinkers tend to see the negative aspects of a situation.

Of course, everybody's view of the world is different, but if you think life is mostly good, you'll notice opportunities and good things in your life; if you think life is difficult, you will find obstacles and difficulties in life.

How positive are you?

Are you inclined to be a negative thinker or are you more of a positive thinker? Do you know what sort of events and situations are more likely to trigger a negative or positive response from you? Below is a range of situations. Read each statement and tick whichever way of thinking or behaving you'd be most likely to take.

1. If I had to pull out of going to an important event with a friend and I felt guilty about it: