Читать книгу Inside Out: A Pagan Tale for the Child Within - Heather Brunton - Страница 9

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CHAPTER FIVE


It was already becoming light as the pair left the city, crossed the field and entered the forest.

‘Hurry, we must reach the void before it gets too light.’ said Rendal.

‘I’m scared. Can you come with me?’

‘I cannot stay there for long but I will go with you across the void and I can advise you throughout your journey.’

‘How can you advise me if you won’t be there?’ Maisey felt bewildered by his words.

‘You will see.’ He patted her hand. ‘Look within for the answers and they will come. And remember, it’s okay to be scared so long as you face it.’

The pair reached the edge of the void still caught in the last shadows of night.

‘Quickly, Doubt sleeps. Lets go.’ Rendal pulled Maisey with him out over the field but midway across she felt the mirror slip from her jeans pocket and pulling out of Rendal’s grip, ran back to retrieve it. A nearby rock became a doubt soldier that sprang forth to make a lunge at the girl.

So near to the mirror! The girl managed to duck out of his way and made a determined dive. As she lifted it, the first rays of dawn caught its surface.

Clear side out, it sent a blast of light onto the creature who dissolved in a puff of smoke. For a second the girl was paralysed but seeing more creatures break free from the rocks, she ran to catch up to Rendal who stood on the fringes of the void. Taking her hand again, he pulled her into the cover of thick shrubs.

‘We mustn’t stop at the well now they know we’re here… we’ll lose them in the woods.

Running in a zigzag pattern, they eventually exited the woods farther down the hill. From this aspect the toilet block could be seen jutting out of the hill and from their position much lower down, the mountain appeared to be moving. Adjusting her vision, Maisey was horrified to realise that it was in fact, huge armies of Doubt swarming over the gravel.

‘They’ll be warning Fear of our presence even now.’ Rendal was clearly upset but brightened a second later. ‘Still, they don’t know where you are so that’s a plus. We’ll rest here till they’re gone.

‘The girl is with a guide from Euphoria. They seem to be heading this way.’ The leader of the motley crew spoke harshly, belying his own timidity when faced with Fear.

The dark jellylike mass that was Fear trembled now, full of rage and anger. ‘You utter fools. Why have you allowed her to return full of new strength? You must terrify her into a quivering mass before she reaches here or she’ll have the power to reverse all I’ve worked so hard to create.’

He waved his long tentacles to indicate the empire of despondency that lay above and around him. From his lair beneath the beehive, he could observe all of the negative energies that fell into the cauldron of green bile above his cave. He paused to suck on a nearby straw and dribbled the slimy bile that was food for his mass. The drooling mouth and fetid smell made the hardened colonel quake in fright.

‘Stop her or your days are numbered,’ Fear roared.

The colonel drew back from the foul stench.

‘Yes sir. Right away sir!’ And off he ran, his timidity when face to face with Fear quickly replaced by his own hate towards the girl. The pain in his leg was evident by his awkward gait and it was a constant reminder of the depth of the wound she’d inflicted and the even deeper wound to his pride. When he caught her, as he was sure he would, he might tear her fingernails out and cut her skin back with his whip. No, he would…? Ah, the possibilities were endless and they were balm to his mind. Calling to his troops, they left the den to direct Doubt soldiers to spread out in a wall that could sweep the hill.

‘They’re spread out in every direction over the hill.’ said Maisey.

Rendal looked thoughtful. ‘There is another way but it requires going within the maze of the Id hill from a point further down, then traversing the interior.’

Maisey looked hopeful so he continued. ‘It will take more effort on your part but the rewards will be greater as you come to know yourself better.’ Rendal saw doubt cloud her eyes. ‘Of course, if you’re not up to it you can call off the challenge.’

‘Then what? Do I stay in this state forever?’

‘It’s entirely up to you. Soon you must return to Earth. It’s your choice the state of mind you return in.’ Rendal was silent as he allowed his words to take effect.

Thinking about how she felt was a new thing for Maisey. She could feel doubt wash over her like a wave, leaving her in a state of limbo. Neither up nor down yet a certain sadness, a resignation. Was this how she wanted to feel the rest of her life? No! To live in this state was worse than fear or failure but trying to remember happiness or victory was hard. Looking at her watch, she felt drawn suddenly, pulled into its depths.

Now is the time to take a stand, it seemed to say.

There she was playing in the garden at home; all the flowers were in bloom. She saw and felt the world through the eyes of a child, untouched by pain. Her father’s voice called to her and a wave of love washed over her being. She felt secure and happy. Then she was back with Rendal who now sat watching her.

Where did the happiness go? she wondered.

‘It’s always been there, it’s just your attitude has changed.’ said Rendal, reading her thoughts. ‘You felt secure from your parents love. They made all of your decisions for you but now it’s your turn. It’s time to think for yourself and with that comes responsibility, for there is only yourself to blame if you choose wrongly. As you will on occasion.’

Maisey thought about it before committing herself. ‘Better to try than to stay here,’ she said at last. ‘Nothing to lose really.’

Rendal shook his head, ‘Well that’s something I guess. Come on.’

He led her down the hill under the cover of trees. As they walked, Maisey wondered at the bond that was growing between herself and Rendal. It seemed to be a long time since she had trusted anyone and she knew it was his help and kindness that told her deep inside that he cared. He helped her down a steep embankment to the bottom of the hill. Bending, he pulled back shrubs to reveal an opening in the rock.

‘This is where your journey begins. I must leave you but if you need advice, ask and the answer will come. Remember also that this is the land of Id and the general thought is logical. At school you’ve been taught to use logic to solve mathematical and scholarly problems but with life’s problems there may be many answers that have nothing to do with logic. These are the answers that come from the heart and this is how you must solve Id’s problems. You must forget logic in this land where ego rules.’ Rendal patted Maisey’s hand. ‘Don’t look so worried.’

Inside Out: A Pagan Tale for the Child Within

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