Читать книгу Bedded for His Pleasure - Heidi Rice - Страница 16

ANGER at himself churned like molten lava in Monroe’s gut. Anger and a desire that he was struggling real hard to ignore.

He’d been raw, ragged with emotions he’d never felt before ever since Linc had handed him the birthday gift two hours ago. And guilt was right slam-bang at the top of the list.

He’d played them all, like an orchestra. He’d done a few odd jobs, befriended the little girl and managed to con them all into thinking he was a good guy—Emmy, Linc, Ali and most of all, Jessie.

Since he’d got out of prison, Monroe’s life had been nomadic. It was the way he liked it. Women had come and gone, friendships had been shallow and fleeting. He didn’t want it to be any different.

But when Linc had held the present out to him, the sparkly wrapping paper glinting in the sunshine, all those foolish old feelings of wanting to have a place to belong had come flooding back. He’d realised in a rush that they’d all accepted him into their home, into their hearts. The yearning that had gripped him at the thought, the desperate need to be accepted, had stunned him. But worse had been the knowledge that he could never have a place here.

Because he wasn’t a good guy, not really.

He was a user. He used people and moved on. That way he didn’t have to be bothered by anyone but himself.

He’d taken Linc’s gift in a daze of confusion and pain. He’d stormed back to the apartment, turned up the stereo to blast level and painted like a madman. But the storm of emotions had continued to churn inside him. And when Jessie had shown up, the only thing he could think was he had to make her run before he took something he could never give back.

She was beautiful, fresh, impulsive and honest. No wonder he wanted her so badly; she was all the things he wasn’t.

Looking down at her, seeing the concern in her eyes as she absorbed what he’d said about the present, he wanted to take her so badly, claim her so badly, it hurt.

‘Why did you never have a birthday gift before?’ she asked gently.

He could hear the compassion and it crucified him. He shrugged. ‘I don’t live like that. All neat and pretty.’

He turned, stared blankly out the window at the gathering dusk, the darkening red of sunset mirroring his own shadowed thoughts. He couldn’t look at her and tell her the truth. ‘I do what I want, when I want. I don’t have a family. I don’t need one. Nobody’s going to tie me down. That’s the way I like it.’

Jessie could hear the defiance, the desperation in his words. She had been right, was all she could think. He was lonely and he was scared.

No wonder he hadn’t been able to take Linc’s present. It had meant something to him he didn’t understand. It meant love and trust and affection. All things he’d spent most of his life without. He was always so sure of himself, so cocky. But beneath that was a good, caring man who needed things that he seemed determined to deny himself.

Jessie had a huge well of love inside her that she wanted to give to someone. And here was a man who needed it. She wouldn’t ask herself why Monroe denied love, denied family. It was enough for now to know he needed her and she needed him.

She’d been falling in love all along—and now she knew why.

He was the one she’d been waiting for. He was everything she’d ever wanted, standing there before her. So handsome, so vulnerable and so confused. Taking the next step now was all that mattered. The rest of it would sort itself out in time.

‘Everybody needs family, Monroe,’ she said softly.

He swung around, his eyes fixed on hers. ‘Damn it. Don’t you get it? I used you. I saw something I wanted, so I went after it.’ His voice was rough with self-loathing. ‘You heard what I said when I jumped you at the party. I’ve been planning this all along. Getting you to like me. Getting you to trust me. It was all just a damn game so I could get you into bed.’

She laughed, the mix of arousal and excitement making her light-headed. He wanted her. ‘If that was the plan, you seem to be mucking it up a bit now.’

‘What?’ His mouth dropped open.

She stepped forward, drew her hands up his chest, wrapped her fingers around his neck. He smelt wonderful—linseed oil, turpentine and the musky smell of man. He felt even better. The hard, rigid muscles of his chest quivered against her breasts, as if he were a racehorse, ready to leap out of a starting gate. She had the power. For the first time, she was the one in control.

‘You know, Monroe.’ Her voice came out on a soft purr; she heard him swallow. ‘It was really nice of you to do all the work, up to this point.’ She caressed the back of his neck, threading her fingers through the soft hair of his nape.

He shuddered.

‘But it looks like I’m going to have to take over now,’she said.

He pulled her into his arms, forcing her hard against him. ‘You’re playing with dynamite, Red. I’m no saint.’ Slowly, he drew his palms up her sides, his thumbs caressing the swell of her breasts through the linen of her dress. ‘If you keep on going the way you are, I’m going to have you and to hell with the consequences.’

She drew in a sharp breath at the harsh demand on his face. The fire in his eyes made her knees go to jelly, but she kept her voice steady. ‘Promises, promises.’

The teasing words were barely out before his lips cut her off. He feasted on her mouth, thrusting his tongue in as his hands came up to fist in her hair. She began to shake, her breath gushing out when he lifted his head.

‘Are you sure about this?’ he rasped in her ear, his voice low and barely controlled. ‘You’ve got to be sure.’ His lips skidded up her neck as he spoke.

‘I’m positive,’ she murmured.

His lips covered hers again. His tongue probed, demanding entry. Her mouth opened, allowing him to explore her, to devastate her.

He stopped, rested his forehead on hers. ‘I want to look at you, Red.’

His fingers came up in a brief caress, then he tugged the straps off her shoulders, pushed the dress down to her waist. She pulled her arms free.

Nudging the lacy cup of her bra down, he bent his head to watch as he exposed her breast. Fire flared in her belly, flooding between her thighs. His lips, hot and insatiable, closed over the swollen peak, suckled strongly. Her breath caught as the arrow of lust shot down to her centre.

Fumbling, he released the clasp, pulled the bra off. He stood back, holding her away from him. She flushed as his eyes devoured her body, naked from the waist.

‘You’re beautiful, Red,’ he murmured. He cupped the ripe breast in callused palms, rubbed his thumbs over the engorged nipples. She went lax under his stroking hands. The heat was so intense now, she felt she might faint.

He pulled the dress down the rest of the way, taking her hand as she stepped free on teetering legs. He hooked his finger in the thin cotton of her panties and ripped them off. She gasped, totally exposed before him, drifting beyond pleasure to panic.

Lifting her limp body high in his arms, he stalked to the sofa, laid her down. She watched him, dazed and unsure, as he stripped off his jeans. He seemed savage, overwhelming all of a sudden. What had she done?

The muscles of his chest heaved from his staggered breathing. His arousal jutted out. He looked magnificent, like a powerful male animal.

She wanted to cover herself, but seemed powerless to do anything, enthralled by the sight of him as he knelt beside her. He stroked his fingers across her belly, making her jump as he reached lower and gently probed the folds of her sex. She could feel how wet she was as his thumb glided over the nub he exposed. She shuddered violently and cried out.

‘I’m sorry, Red. I can’t wait.’ He lay on top of her, his weight making her sink into the soft cushions. He grasped her hips, his eyes harsh on her face, and she felt trapped beneath him. Still she was dazed, detached, as he positioned himself, probed and then thrust within. She cried out, the shocking fullness and discomfort hurling her out of the strange trance and slamming her hard into reality.

She grabbed at his shoulders, pushed frantically. ‘Stop it. It hurts,’ she cried out.

He reared back.

She could see the surprise and confusion in his eyes and the rigid control as his arms tensed at her sides.

‘What’s wrong?’ He pulled out of her, cupped her face in unsteady hands. She could see the bitter regret in his face and she shattered—the pent-up emotions of long years of inadequacy and denial bursting out.

‘I can’t do this. I’m no good at it.’ She began to shake, raw with humiliation. The misery engulfed her. Why had she thought that with him it might work? For a while, as they’d kissed and caressed it had been so wonderful. She’d been spun up in a whirlwind of passion and excitement. But then, it had been dragged away. She’d failed, as always.

He held her gently, drawing her into his arms, settling her close.

‘Shh. Don’t cry. I rushed you. I went too damn fast. It’s my fault.’

‘It’s not.’ She snuffled, determined to tell him the truth. ‘I’m rubbish at this. I’ve been told I’m frigid.’

She wanted to get up, get away. But his arms tightened around her, holding her in place.

‘Please, I have to go.’ She could hear the pathetic whimper in her voice and despised herself for it.

She couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes, or, worse, the pity. But then he tucked his finger under her chin, forced her face up to his.

‘Don’t go, Red.’ There was no pity, just concern. He touched his lips to hers, the kiss so gentle it was like a whisper. ‘Who’s the dumb bastard who said you were frigid?’

‘Toby. His name was Toby Collins.’

‘Toby, huh?’ He pushed the hair from her brow, brushed it back carefully as he met her eyes. Then his own went hard with anger. ‘I’d like to get Toby Collins and string him up by his nuts.’

‘Oh!’ What else was there to say?

He looked so fierce and forbidding she almost felt sorry for her former fiancé. If Toby hadn’t been on the other side of the Atlantic, his nuts would surely be in grave danger.

Monroe drew her closer. ‘But seeing as Toby and his pea-sized nuts aren’t here right now, we’re gonna have to undo the damage he did instead.’

‘What do you mean?’ she asked, wary of the determination in his voice.

‘You’re not frigid. And we’re going to prove it.’

She tensed in his arms, painfully aware of his nakedness and her own.

‘I don’t…’ She paused. ‘That’s really not necessary.’

‘Oh, yeah, it is.’ He dipped his head, took her lips in a slow, tender kiss.

The low throbbing in her belly seemed to come from nowhere. But she drew back, flushed but horribly unsure of herself. ‘I don’t think I can, Monroe.’

He trailed a finger down across her breast, watching it intently as he circled the peak.

‘You can do it.’ He glanced up, dazzled her with that easy, confident grin she knew so well. ‘If you’re treated with the proper care and attention.’

His fingertip toyed with her nipple. A breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding gushed out. She glanced down at him hard against her thigh. Her breath caught in her throat; he was still fully aroused and he looked enormous.

His grin spread as her shocked gaze met his. ‘We were so close before. We’re going to take it real slow and easy this time and do it right.’

He levered himself up, got off the couch and pulled her up with him. Dumping the two large cushions onto the floor, he knelt on them and then tugged her down beside him. ‘Lie down.’

She did as she was told, confused and wary, feeling hideously exposed, like an offering on a sacrificial altar, as he lay down next to her.

‘Don’t look so worried.’ He kissed her. ‘The only rules are, you don’t think and you don’t touch. All right?’

‘Okay.’

Slowly, carefully, he began to stroke his fingers down the length of her. He seemed to take for ever. At first, she felt foolish, inadequate, but when his touch swept the underside of her breast, she shuddered. His fingers trailed down her arms next, catching the soft skin inside her elbow, and she gasped. Then he found the sensitive place behind her knee as he drew her legs up.

Her centre throbbed, insistent and intense. He followed his hands with his lips and when she tried all she could think of was where he would go next. Anticipation, then delight. The process was slow, delicious torture as his tongue delved and dipped, stroked and slid across her heated flesh.

She had to touch him. But when his lips closed over her nipple and she tried to grab his head, he pulled back. Capturing her wrists in one hand, he held them above her head. ‘No touching. Remember?’

‘Please, I want to feel you, too.’ The words came out on a sob as she strained against him, but he simply shook his head and held her in place.

It seemed he caressed her breasts for ever. Lathing the sensitive tips and then blowing softly, making them pucker fiercely before his appreciative gaze. Making her writhe against his controlling hands.

She panted, all thoughts flown from her head but the unbearable heat, the intense pleasure at her core. Her heart raced so fast, it would surely explode. The burning between her thighs was so intense she couldn’t draw breath. He released her wrists to circle the soft skin of her inner thighs. At last, he was going to touch her there, where she needed him most. But still his fingers teased, stroking the soft curls at the juncture. Finally, he probed within. The touch was barely there, but her sigh choked out on a sob. Then he stroked again, pushing the folds back, watching her face. His eyes held hers as she sobbed again. She was clinging to the edge of a desperate precipice. He was there now, right at the heart of the heat, making it burn.

‘I…Please, don’t stop.’ She didn’t know what she was begging for, but saw his slow grin, the blaze of desire in his eyes.

‘Let it go, Red.’

He purred the words as she shot over the edge. Everything inside her released, crashed down and then exploded into a million tiny, glittering pieces. She could hear herself, a thousand miles away, cry out on a shattered moan.

‘Come on, baby, we’re not through yet.’

She was still shivering, dazed by the aftermath of passion as he reared above her. He held her legs apart and settled between them. Angling her hips up with firm hands, he probed at her entrance and then pushed his rigid sex within in one long, slow, shocking thrust.

The fullness was unbearable. She felt stretched, impaled. But where before there had been pain, now there was only the sure, unstoppable rush of pleasure. She sobbed as passion slammed back into her full force, like a runaway train, hard and fast and out of control.

‘Look at me, Red. I want to see you do it again.’ His voice was low, thick with desire. Her eyes fixed on his face. He looked so gorgeous at that moment. The inferno built inside her with each powerful thrust.

She soared over this time, falling free as they shouted out their release together.