Читать книгу The Secret of Willow Ridge - Helen H. Moore - Страница 6

FOREWORD

The Secret of Willow Ridge: Gabe's Dad Finds Recovery is a story told by Gabe, a ten-year-old boy. Gabe has a seven-year-old sister, Izzy, and for both of them life has been very confusing because their father is addicted to alcohol and other drugs. Gabe has a lot of thoughts and feelings about what is happening in his life, but as in most families affected by addiction he has learned to keep those thoughts and feelings to himself. Gabe, his sister, and his mother spend a lot of their life pretending everything is okay when it is not.

When addiction happens in a family it creates a lot of problems for everyone. The addicted person may say a lot of things that cause hurt feelings. He or she will often blame the kids for things that aren't their fault. The addicted person doesn't show up to important events or makes promises and doesn't keep those promises. When someone is addicted, he or she often changes personalities, and sometimes it is hard to know whether or not he or she will be nice or angry. Sometimes the person yells and is violent. If there is another adult living in the home, he or she is often angry or sad and very preoccupied with the person who abuses alcohol or other drugs. This person may even do all the things that the addicted person does.

Kids often think they are the cause of their parents' unhappiness and that they are the reason their parents drink or use other drugs. Kids believe if they just did the right thing, although they are never quite sure what that is, then they could make everything okay. In the meantime, they often feel guilty, scared, very sad, embarrassed, and angry. Kids certainly have reasons to feel this way, but all this becomes one big secret they don't want anyone else to know. This is all so confusing to them, wanting but not knowing how to make their family life better.

Gabe's story lets you know what it's like for him to live with addiction and that you are not alone if someone in your family is addicted to alcohol or other drugs. In fact, at least one out of every five homes has someone in the family who struggles with substance abuse. It may be a mother or father, stepparent, brother or sister, or even a grandparent. Whoever it is, when addiction is in the family, everyone gets hurt. But in Gabe's family a very wonderful thing happens—his father is willing to get help. Most people who become addicted want to stop using, but it is very hard to do so alone.

In this story, Gabe's dad goes to a treatment center—a place that is “half school and half hospital”—to learn a new way of life without using drugs or alcohol. While some addicted people go to treatment centers, others stay at home and go to meetings that help them learn how to live without using drugs and alcohol. Whether or not your parent goes to a treatment center, you will probably have some of the same thoughts and feelings as Gabe. Even when a parent says they want to stop their drinking or taking drugs it can be hard to trust that life will really get better. Gabe talks about what it is like for him when his father is in treatment and shares his own doubts and hopes about whether or not life will really get better. Gabe is fortunate because his family recognizes that even though only one person in the family is addicted everyone in the family is affected, and because of that the whole family needs to get well together. While Gabe does not know how this will change his family, he has reasons to be hopeful.

This book lets you know that:

• You are not alone, many families experience addiction;

• You are not at fault for the pain in the family or for the addiction;

• Addicted people don't want to act like they do, but the alcohol or drugs have control over them;

• If someone is addicted, he or she can get help to stop using;

• Kids have a lot of feelings such as fear, sadness, anger, and embarrassment when living with addiction, and it helps to talk about thoughts and feelings;

• The addicted person and family members can have recovery. Family members no longer need to pretend everything is okay when it isn't. The family works together and they do so without any more secrets.

Whether your parent goes to treatment and/or twelve-step meetings, and whether or not he or she stays in recovery, it is important that you know you don't have to keep the secret of addiction or recovery. Without ever being addicted, you too can have recovery. It begins when you find the courage to talk honestly about what you are thinking and feeling. Recovery begins when people ask for help. You too can ask for help.

Claudia Black, Ph.D. Author of My Dad Loves Me,My Dad Has a Disease and It Will Never Happen to Me