Читать книгу Redemption at Mirabelle - Helen Brenna - Страница 13

THE CAPE COD MARIN AND HER mother had rented had only two bedrooms, and Marin’s mother had chosen the one on the first floor, leaving the entire upstairs, basically, a remodeled attic, to Marin. Pale moonlight streaming through her bedroom window, Marin flicked through her cell phone messages as she walked into the bathroom getting ready for bed.

Her father had called Marin at least four times since she and her mother had arrived at Mirabelle and had left two voice mails. As she brushed her teeth, she quickly texted to let him know they were fine. What else was she supposed to do?

Colin, on the other hand, had left no fewer than twenty messages, text and voice mail combined. They ranged from soulful apologies to frantic appeals to angry outbursts, and she’d deleted every single one of them.

How could he have done this to her? She rinsed out her mouth and washed her face, scrubbing roughly. They’d been as good as soul mates practically since the day they’d met in grad school. They’d been cut from the same cloth, both of their families coming from old, East Coast money. They liked the same books, movies, TV shows, food, colors, decor and even hand soap. They’d fit together, their lifestyles, their dreams and aspirations. And he’d been entirely content with her decision to not have children.

All in all, they’d wanted the same things in life. Or so she’d thought. Shutting off the water, she dried her face. Then he’d broken her heart. She slathered on a moisturizer.

Or had he?

Shouldn’t she be more inconsolable if her heart truly had been broken? Shouldn’t she want to throw her phone across the room, smashing it into a thousand pieces? Shouldn’t she be unable to sleep or eat? Shouldn’t she have cried at least once?

Instead, it was almost as if she’d expected this outcome to their relationship. Maybe that’s why she’d kept delaying the wedding date, almost as if her subconscious had known that when she’d come home early from that conference that she was going to find Colin in bed with someone. What she hadn’t expected was for that someone to be Colin’s best friend. Marcus.

It explained so much. She padded to her bedroom. It probably even explained why she’d found herself so undeniably attracted to their neighbor Adam, a man as virile and down-to-earth as Colin was cerebral and refined. And gay.

Pretty simple, really. Available woman in need of an available, attractive—very clearly heterosexual—man. No reason not to act on it, right? Except that she wasn’t entirely sure Adam was attracted to her. Maybe there was something wrong with her. Maybe she just wasn’t feminine enough to attract a masculine man.

With a heavy sigh, she climbed onto her bed and dialed Colin’s number. He picked up on the first ring. “Marin, thank God, you called. Where are you? Your doorman said you’d left the city.”

“I’m on Mirabelle,” she said quietly, not wanting to wake her mother who’d gone to bed almost an hour ago.

“You went to Melissa’s? Why?”

“You expected me to stay in Manhattan? With everything that’s going on?”

“The paparazzi have been hounding me to death.”

“Better you than me. This is, after all, your doing.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He sighed. “Oh, Mar, I’m so damned sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

What else could he say? She knew his family well. His father and mother wouldn’t just be surprised. They’d likely disown him if they found out. Colin wasn’t a bad man. In fact, he’d been her friend before they’d gotten engaged. He was still her friend.

“I have to know,” she said. “Did I do something? Not do something to…cause this?”

“Oh, Marin, how can you say that? Think that. It’s not you. It’s me.”

“How long have you known?” she asked, trying to understand.

“Do we have to go there?”

“I do. Did you know before we started dating?”

He was silent for a moment. “Yes.”

“You son of a bitch.” The words came out of her mouth without heat. As much as she tried, she couldn’t seem to summon an appropriate amount of anger, let alone indignation.

“I guess I thought you knew,” he said. “Inside. I mean, come on, Mar. We weren’t exactly a match made in heaven, but I assumed it was a match that suited you. Your needs. The way the facade of our engagement suited mine.”

“I was convenient, is that it?”

“No. You were…content with…mediocrity.”

That made her angry. “Content with—I thought I loved you! I thought you loved me. I thought we were good together! I thought—”

“Marin, you’ve worked ten- to twelve-hour days from the day I first met you. Between your career, your volunteer gigs and your workouts we barely saw each other. Maybe, if we were lucky, we ran into each other in bed in the middle of the night once a week and made love. The truth is that I spent more time with Marcus than I did with you. And you can almost include the time we spent sleeping together in that equation. Can you honestly tell me that’s a vibrant, healthy relationship?”

He was right. She swallowed. But he was wrong, too. Maybe she’d worked so many hours and kept so busy because she’d been, underneath it all, so dissatisfied in her relationship with Colin. She remembered the nights he’d turned her down when she’d wanted to be intimate. When she’d wanted more from him. She hadn’t understood her own frustration. Now, she wondered.

“I think there was a part of me that felt like…like there was something wrong with me, Colin. Sexually. For wanting more. For not turning you on.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “That’s my fault entirely.”

“Does anyone in your family know? Your sisters? Your brother?”

“Good God, no! And I’d very much like to keep it that way.”

“You should tell them.”

“Can’t we just let this…die? I’ll do whatever you want. Tell everyone I was cheating. With a woman, please. Tell them I beat you. That I have gambling debts. However you want to handle the breakup, I’ll go along. Just don’t tell my family. The press. My coworkers. Please, Marin.”

“Tell me this. Would you have gone through with the wedding?”

A long pause followed, and then he admitted, “Probably.”

“Wow.” She shook her head. “Fine. Tell everyone you had an affair with some woman, if that makes it better for you. I really don’t care anymore.”

Marin hung up the phone, flicked off her light and stared outside. A full moon shone down on the trees, casting creepy shadows on the grass. She cracked open the window, letting the still-warm late summer breeze flow through the room. It was quiet here, so quiet she could hear the wind rustling the leaves of the towering old maple just outside her window. Maybe Saint Barts wouldn’t have been a good idea. She needed this time away more than she’d realized.

All her life, she’d swallowed hook, line and sinker her father’s rhetoric about how Camdens being Camdens needed to lead by example. She’d meticulously dotted her i’s and crossed her t’s. She’d been a high achiever, some said overachiever, in both academics and athletics throughout her childhood. She’d graduated summa cum laude from Harvard. She donated heavily from her trust fund to worthy causes. She spent every Wednesday night at the women’s shelter, every Sunday at the food bank. Worst of all, through it all, she’d even imagined herself happy and in love. It had all been a lie.

Well, now she had to find out what she wanted from life.

Her gaze was suddenly, inexplicably drawn to Adam Harding’s backyard. Would she find him, once again, leaning against his tree? But no. He was inside, his house completely dark but for one dim light at the first floor. Pale sheers fluttered with the breeze blowing through his open window. His bedroom? Probably not. The bright glow of a computer screen indicated it was likely an office. He was working late.

She would’ve sworn she could hear him talking, possibly on the phone. Holding her breath, she strained to listen. Whether real or imagined, there was no doubt he had a nice voice, deep and calming. And that faint touch of a Southern accent? Mmm. What would it feel like to kiss that lush lower lip? To nip at him softly? To feel that big, warm body around her, over her?

Oh, hell.

Needing a distraction, she picked up the romance Missy had given her the other day. If nothing else, it would put her to sleep. By page ten she realized her mistake. She was going to be up for a long, long while.

“WE’RE LATE,” MARIN WHISPERED as she followed Missy into the large room at the community center amidst an uproarious discussion.

The town meeting, apparently one of many that would be had over the coming months to discuss the progress on Mirabelle’s rebuilding, had started several minutes earlier. As quietly as possible, she slid after Missy into the first available seats in the last row.

“Didn’t you just recently have one of these meetings?”

Missy nodded. “The engineers finished with their building assessments and Adam wanted to go through the results in person.”

“So what was the point in dragging me here?”

Missy grinned. “Because I want you to come to the yoga class I’m teaching right after this.”

“Yoga?” Marin rolled her eyes. She should’ve guessed something was up when her sister had also suggested Marin wear something loose fitting and comfortable. Why did it not surprise her that her vegetarian, tree-hugging little sis was also a yogi?

“And I wanted to introduce you to some of my friends.” Missy pointed toward the front of the room. “Sarah is one of the council members. She’s sitting up at the table next to Garrett.”

An old woman in front of them shifted and glared pointedly at Marin. “Shh!”

After the hag turned back around, Missy grinned and whispered in Marin’s ear. “Mrs. Gilbert. Runs a mean bed-and-breakfast inn.”

Marin snapped her mouth closed and looked toward the front. Several townspeople were sitting behind a long table, but it was Adam who captured and held her interest. For close to an hour, she listened to him field one question after another in a detached and unemotional, but somehow compassionate, mode.

People were angry and frustrated. There were any number of times islanders said things clearly inflammatory in nature and Adam not only didn’t react, he also managed to defuse every one of those situations, turning them to his advantage. You couldn’t teach a man that kind of control over his emotions.

What would it feel like to snap his concentration? To release his power, his energy behind closed doors, to feel his passion running wild? Nothing like Colin’s lukewarm attention, that’s for sure. She’d always dated professional, white-collar men. Intellectuals. Thinkers, not doers, but Adam seemed to bridge that gap. Maybe her mother—her own mother—had been right. Maybe what Marin needed right now more than anything was no-strings-attached sex. Hot, passionate, burn the bedsheets sex. Maybe Adam Harding was man enough to wipe away every bad memory of Colin. But was Marin woman enough?

The thought had barely entered her mind when the town meeting abruptly wrapped up. Suddenly, Missy was introducing Marin to several people. Then she asked, “Coming to my yoga class?”

Marin shrugged. “No offense, but I’m not really into yoga.”

“You should try it,” Sarah said. “Missy’s a very good teacher.”

“I’m sure she is.” Marin chuckled. “But I’m more of a…kickboxing kind of woman. I think I’ll just go home.”

Missy looked disappointed, but she’d live.

Marin turned to head for the exit and almost ran into Adam’s back. She put her hands out to steady herself. “Sorry. Wasn’t watching where I was going.”

He turned. “Hey, there. I’m surprised to see you here. Find it interesting? Or entertaining?”

“I thought you were nothing short of amazing,” she said honestly.

“I’m not too sure about that.” He laughed, although he looked tired and wrung out, and who could blame him after the way the locals had raked him over the coals.

“How do you do what you do?”

“What do you mean?” he said as they pushed through the exit doors and stepped out into the cool evening air.

“There was so much emotion in that room. At one point, it was so tense you would’ve needed a stainless steel blade to cut the air.”

“I guess I’ve gotten used to it.”

By unspoken agreement they both turned in the direction of their tree-canopied street. “I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head. “Either you have an incredible gift, or you have ice running through your veins. Which is it?”

“Those are the only two options?” He grinned. “Then I’ll go with ice.”

No way.

“I’ve been in the construction business a very long time,” he explained. “Something always manages to go wrong, no matter how well you plan. There are just too many variables out of a contractor’s control. You either learn how to deal, or you get ulcers. Maybe I like spicy food too much.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “What about you? Wall Street can’t be a cakewalk.”

“It’s a bit on the intense side, yes.”

“Coming to Mirabelle must be like going from sixty to zero in the blink of an eye. You missing it yet?”

“The first couple of days were tough, but now?” She thought for a moment. “I don’t miss it much. Surprisingly.”

“What about your fiancé. Missing him?”

“There’s another surprise. No.” She laughed. “Finding the man you’re about to marry in bed with his best friend has a way of altering things…in the blink of an eye.”

“His best friend?” He narrowed his eyes at her.

“You know, I don’t really want to talk about him.” She managed a smile. “There was a lot of truth to what you said that first night. I dodged a bullet.”

He frowned, clearly still disconcerted about making light of her situation. By this time they’d reached their houses. Rather than head up his sidewalk, he stopped and held her gaze. “He lied to you. That’s not your fault.”

“No, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering if I’d somehow caused it.” If maybe it was her fault that she didn’t turn him on. Maybe she wasn’t feminine enough. Not sexy enough. There was one way to find out. “So I was thinking…maybe we could…I don’t know. Go out to dinner some night.”

“Dinner?” His entire body went still. “You mean just the two of us? That’s not a good idea.”

The intensity of his eyes belied his words. “I’m not talking about anything serious, Adam. Just dinner.” Dessert, hopefully, would come later.

“Sorry. Widower, remember? The kids. The way I move around.” He shook his head. “I don’t date.”

“So that’s it?”

His gaze traveled all over her face and settled on her lips. His eyes darkened, almost as if he might reconsider. Then he turned and started up the walk. “That’s it.”

Apparently, she wasn’t woman enough for Adam Harding, either. That is, if she bought his excuse lock, stock and barrel. Which she didn’t. Colin and his betrayal might’ve thrown Marin for a loop, but she was pretty sure Adam was attracted to her and fighting it.

This wasn’t over. Not yet, anyway.

A DATE. ADAM HADN’T BEEN on a real date since high school, since Beth. Even if he could fathom returning to that scene, he wouldn’t have had a clue what to do, how to act, what was appropriate. Not that Marin hadn’t tempted him with her offer.

As he opened the front door to his house and stepped inside, he glanced back at Marin. Head down and lost in thought, she was stalking back to her house like a woman on a mission. Very likely, she wasn’t used to taking no for an answer. Cool, calm and all-business women had never really been his type, but she sure filled out running gear nicely.

Not gonna happen. Not now. Not ever.

On a sigh, he walked into the house and Phyllis, looking stressed out, met him at the door.

“It’s about time.” She handed him a stack of phone messages. “These are critical. The rest I’ve left for tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Phyllis.” He glanced through the calls he’d missed. “How did it go with the kids?”

“Fine. They’re playing outside.” She grabbed her laptop and several files. “I’m out of here, thank God. I can get back to my real job on Monday morning, right?”

“Yep. Angelica’s set to go.”

“Great.” She was already halfway out the door. “See you Monday.”

Adam set his own laptop and messages on his home office desk and then walked toward the rear of the house.

Julia spotted him in an instant and came running inside. “Hi, Daddy!”

“Hey, sweetie.” His gaze caught a basket full of clean clothes that still needed to be folded and another load lying on the floor still needing to be washed.

Wyatt ran at him from outside and hugged his leg. “Daddy! I’m hungry.”

“Me, too!” Julia said, bouncing up and down. “Can we go out to dinner tonight and go shopping?”

“Shopping? For what?”

“School starts soon. We need to get stuff.”

He stopped and closed his eyes. He’d all but forgotten about school starting, and it’d take a trip to Ashland to get what they needed. All the work he had to do between now and then piled up like a checklist inside his mind. “Honey, Mirabelle doesn’t have the kind of stores we need, and I’m not sure—”

“Daddy, it’s a…ritual. Everybody goes school shopping.”

“I want a backpack,” Wyatt added. “I need one, right, Julia?”

“You need supplies, too,” Julia said, nodding. “And a jacket. And some new jeans.”

She was right. The island was going to start getting chilly and most of Julia and Wyatt’s clothes were suited to warmer climates. Still, he couldn’t afford a day away from the construction site.

“I can’t manage the time away right now,” he said. “I’m sorry. We’ll get on the computer together tonight and order online what you need for the first couple weeks of school. I’ll make sure it’s shipped here on time. That’s going to have to do.”

“Okay,” Julia said, sounding miserable. “Will you take us another time?”

“Sure.”

“Promise?”

He wasn’t going to promise. He’d done that and hadn’t followed through too many times. “I’ll do my best. Now let’s go figure out what we’re having for dinner.” He was going to have to make time to go grocery shopping this weekend, too.

A date. As if Adam had the time.