Читать книгу Once Upon a Bride - Helen Lacey - Страница 9
ОглавлениеGabe went to his cousin’s for dinner Wednesday night and expected the usual lecture about his life. Scott Jones was family and his closest friend, and even though he knew the other man’s intentions were born from a sincere interest in his well-being, Gabe generally pulled no punches when it came to telling his cousin to mind his own business.
Scott’s wife, Evie, was pure earth mother. She was strikingly attractive and possessed a calm, generous spirit. Gabe knew his cousin was besotted with his wife and baby daughter, and he was genuinely happy for him.
“How’s the house coming along?” Scott asked over a beer while Evie was upstairs putting little Rebecca down for the night.
Gabe pushed back in the kitchen chair. “Fine.”
“Will you stay there permanently?”
“I doubt it,” he replied.
“Still can’t see you renovating the place yourself,” Scott said, and grinned.
Gabe frowned. “I can fix things.”
Like Lauren’s gate, which hadn’t gone down so well. He should have left it alone. But she’d hurt herself on the thing and he didn’t want that happening again. There was no harm in being neighborly.
“Job still working out?”
Gabe shrugged one shoulder. “Sure.”
Scott grinned again. “And how’s it going with your next-door neighbor?”
He knew his cousin was fishing. He’d told him a little about the incident at the wedding, and Scott knew he’d bought the house next door. Clearly, he’d told him too much. “Fine.”
“I like Lauren,” Scott said, and smiled.
Gabe didn’t respond. He didn’t have to. His cousin spoke again.
“You do, too, judging by the look on your face.”
Gabe didn’t flinch. “You know my plans. They haven’t changed.”
“Your five-year plan?” Scott’s eyes widened. “Still think you can arrange life to order?” He looked to the ceiling, clearly thinking about his family upstairs. “No chance.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
It sounded good, at least. Pity he didn’t quite believe it.
“You know she’s divorced?” Scott asked.
“Yes.”
Scott nodded. “Evie knows more about it than I do. And, of course, about the other guy.”
His head came up. The other guy? “I don’t—”
“He died about five years ago,” his cousin said, and drank some beer. “They were engaged, that’s all I know.”
Gabe’s insides contracted. So she’d lost someone. And married someone else. The wrong someone else. It explained the haunted, vulnerable look shading her brown eyes. But he didn’t want to know any more. Hadn’t he already decided the less he knew, the better?
“Not my business.”
Scott’s eyebrows shot up. “So no interest at all?”
He shrugged again. “No.”
Scott chuckled. “You’re a lousy liar.”
I’m a great liar. His whole life was a lie. Gabe stood and scraped the chair back. “Thanks for the beer.”
He left shortly after, and by the time he pulled into his own driveway, it was past ten o’clock. There were lights on next door, and when he spotted a shadowy silhouette pass by the front window, Gabe fought the way his stomach churned thinking about her. He didn’t want to be thinking, imagining or anything else. Lauren Jakowski was a distraction he didn’t need.
And he certainly didn’t expect to find her on his doorstep at seven the next morning.
But there she was. All perfection and professionalism in her silky blue shirt and knee-length black skirt. Once he got that image clear in his head, Gabe noticed she wasn’t alone. Jed sat on his haunches at her side.
“Am I stretching the boundaries of friendship?” she asked, and held out the lead.
He nodded. Were they friends now? No. Definitely not. “Absolutely.”
She chewed at her bottom lip. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”
Gabe shrugged. “What’s the big emergency?”
She exhaled heavily. “He chewed off a piece of my sofa and broke the table in the living room when I left him home on Tuesday. Then he terrorized my parents’ cat when I left him there yesterday. Mary-Jayne said she’d take him tomorrow and Saturday. She’s got a fully enclosed yard and a dog, which will keep him company. But today I’m all out of options. I can’t take him to the store and...and...I don’t know what else to do.”
Her frustration was clear, and Gabe knew he’d give her exactly what she wanted. Because saying no to Lauren was becoming increasingly difficult. “Okay.”
“O-okay?” she echoed hesitantly.
“Yeah. Okay.”
Relief flooded her face. “Thanks. I...I owe you for this.”
Gabe shrugged again. He didn’t want her owing him anything. Owing could lead to collecting...and that was out of the question. “No problem,” he said, and took the lead.
“So dinner?” she asked and took a step back. “Tonight. I’ll cook. My way of saying thanks.”
His back straightened. “You don’t need to—”
“I insist,” she said quickly, and then looked as though she was itching to get away. “Say, seven o’clock?”
She left, and Gabe didn’t go back inside until she disappeared around the hedge.
* * *
Dinner. Great idea. Not.
What were you thinking?
Lauren spent the day chastising herself and making sure she didn’t let on to her mother that she’d somehow invited Gabe into the inner sanctum of her house, her kitchen and her solitary life. But she’d made the offer and it was too late to back out now. Besides, he was doing her a favor looking after the dog. Dinner really was the least she could do in return. He’d helped her out, and it was her way of saying thank-you. It was nothing. Just a simple meal between neighbors.
Only, simple seemed at odds with the way her nerves rattled just thinking about it.
She stopped by the supermarket on the way home, and by the time she pulled into the driveway, it was nearly six. She jumped into the shower, dried off, applied a little makeup and changed into loose-fitting cargo pants and a red knit top. By six-thirty she was in the kitchen marinating steaks and prepping a salad. And ignoring the knot in the pit of her stomach as best she could.
The doorbell rang at exactly seven o’clock.
Jed rushed down the hallway the moment she opened the door, clearly eager to get to his food bowl in the laundry.
“Hi,” she said, and stepped back.
“Hi, yourself,” Gabe said as he crossed the threshold.
He closed the door, and she didn’t linger. Instead, she pivoted on her heels and headed back to the kitchen. By the time she’d made her way back behind the countertop, he was by the door, watching her. She looked up and met his gaze. He looked so good in his jeans and navy T-shirt, her breath stuck in her throat. She noticed a tattoo braid that encircled one biceps peeking out from the edge of his sleeve. She’d never liked ink much, but it suited him. It was sexy. Everything about Gabe was sexy. His broad shoulders, black hair, dazzling blue eyes... The combination was devastating. And dangerous.
Be immune to sexy.
He moved and rested against the door frame, crossing his arms, and Lauren was instantly absorbed by the image it evoked.
“You know, you really shouldn’t look at me like that,” he said, and Lauren quickly realized she’d been caught staring. Or ogling. “I might start thinking you aren’t serious about that vow of yours.”
Her skin warmed. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
His lips curled at the edges. “I never do.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Then what do you believe, Lauren?” he asked, and met her gaze.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
His stare was unwavering. “I think you do.”
“You’re talking about what you overheard at the wedding?” She shrugged as casually as she could manage. “I thought we’d agreed not to talk about that.”
He half smiled. “Did we? You said you wanted a passionless relationship.”
Her breath caught. She didn’t want to talk about that with him. Not when her pulse was racing so erratically. She remembered how he knew her secrets. He knew what she wanted. “Yes,” she replied and hated that it tasted like a lie. “Passion is overrated.”
“Do you think?” he asked quietly, his intense gaze locked with hers. “And chemistry?”
“Even more overrated.”
“That’s a handy line when you’re in denial.”
She tried but couldn’t drag her gaze away. “I’m not in denial,” she insisted. “About...anything.”
About you. That was what she meant. And he knew it, too.
“Good,” he said, almost as though he was trying to convince himself. “Shall I open this?” he asked, and gestured to the wine bottle he carried.
Lauren nodded and grabbed two glasses and a corkscrew from the cupboard, laying them on the counter. “How do you like your steak?”
“Medium rare,” he replied. “You?”
She shrugged. “Same. Did Jed behave himself today? No disasters? No sacrificial sneakers?”
He grinned and grabbed the corkscrew. “It was moderately better than the last time.”
She laughed softly. “He’s usually very civilized when Cameron is around.”
“He’s pining,” Gabe said, and popped the cork. “Missing the people he loves most. It’s natural he would.”
Lauren nodded. “You’re right. And it’s only for a few more days. I heard from Cameron’s house sitter this morning, and she’s flying back into Bellandale on Sunday afternoon.”
He passed her a glass of wine, and Lauren’s fingers tingled when they briefly touched his. If he noticed, he didn’t show it. “How long have you lived here?” he asked.
“Just over a year.”
“It’s...nice. My sister, Bianca, would love it,” he said easily and rested against the countertop. “She’s into decorating.”
Lauren pulled a couple of plates from the cupboard. “Do you have one of those large Italian-American families?”
“There are four of us. Aaron is thirty five and the eldest. He’s divorced and has twin four-year-old boys. And then there’s me, three years younger.” He grinned a little. “Then Luca, who’s thirty and married to his IT job, and Bianca, who is twenty-six and the baby of the family.”
She nodded. “And your parents?”
“There’s only my mom,” he explained, watching her with such blistering intensity, Lauren found it hard to concentrate on preparing their meal. “My dad died fifteen years ago.”
Her expression softened. “I’m sorry. Were you close?”
“Very.”
She nodded again. “What did he—”
“Lung cancer.”
The awful words hung in the air between them, and an old pain jabbed between her ribs. She pushed the memory off as quickly as it came.
“I’m sorry,” she said gently. “I feel very lucky to still have both my parents.”
“And there’s only you and Cameron?” he asked.
“Yes,” she replied. “And he’s actually my half brother. Our mother married my dad when he was three years old. I would have loved a sister, though. I mean, we’re really close, but a big family would be wonderful.”
His gaze absorbed hers. “You want children?”
She nodded. “I always thought I’d like to have three kids.”
He raised a brow. “With Mr. No-Passion?”
A smile tugged at his mouth, and Lauren couldn’t stop her lips from creasing into a tiny grin. “Maybe. Hopefully. One day.”
He looked at her oddly, as if he wanted to have an opinion about it but was holding his tongue. When he finally spoke, he surprised her. “You’ll make a good mom.”
“I... Thank you.” The air crackled, and she avoided eye contact by feigning a deep interest in the salad she’d prepared. When he spoke again, she looked up.
“Need any help?” he asked, and took both wineglasses to the table.
“No,” she replied and plated the food quickly. “I’m nearly done. Take a seat.”
A minute later, she placed the plates on the table and sat down. For one crazy second she thought...no, imagined...that the mood between them felt a little like a date. A first date.
Stupid. They were neighbors. Acquaintances. Nothing more. So what if he was the most attractive man she’d ever met? Attraction hadn’t done her any favors in the past. She’d been attracted to James, and that had ended badly for them both. This would be the same. And anything more than attraction was out of the question.
“So did you have a similar job in California?” she asked, determined to steer the conversation away from herself.
“Not really,” he replied vaguely and picked up the utensils. “I worked as a lifeguard part-time at Huntington Beach, near where I lived.”
“Cameron said the place has never run so smoothly. Do you enjoy the work?” she asked.
“Yeah...sure,” he replied casually. “I like the beach,” he said, and when she raised a brow indicating she wanted him to elaborate, he continued. “And I get to teach a few classes, lifeguard on the weekends and juggle paperwork during the week.” He shrugged. “It’s not exactly rocket science.”
She was itching to ask him more questions. Cameron had told her he was clearly overqualified for the role at the surf club. She knew he didn’t talk about himself much, and that suited her fine. Most of the time. But tonight she was interested. As much as warning bells pealed, she wanted to know more about him. She wanted to know what made him tick. She wanted to know why he’d moved his life from California to Crystal Point.
“Don’t you miss your old life? Your friends, your family?”
He looked up. “Of course.”
“I could never leave my family like that,” she said, and knew it sounded like a judgment. She shrugged and sighed a little. “I mean, I’d miss them too much to be away for too long.”
If it was a dig, he ignored it. Because he was so mesmerized by her sheer loveliness, Gabe couldn’t look away. He shouldn’t have come around. He shouldn’t have thought he could spend an evening with Lauren and not get caught up in the desire that thrummed through his blood. She was tempting. And he was...tempted.
“You really are quite beautiful.”
The words were out before he could stop them. She fumbled with her cutlery, and the steak portion on the end of her fork fell back onto the plate. He watched as she pressed her fingertips against her mouth and discreetly wiped away a little sauce.
“Um...thank you. I guess.”
Gabe rested back in his chair. “You don’t sound convinced.”
“That I’m beautiful?” She shrugged. “I’ve never really thought I was. Attractive, perhaps.”
“No,” he said quietly. “You’re beautiful.”
She grabbed her drink. “Are you coming on to me?” she asked bluntly.
Gabe chuckled. “No.”
She met his gaze. “Because I’m not your type?”
“I’m not coming on to you because you’re exactly my type.”
Heat filled the space between them, and a sudden surge of blinding attraction clung to the air. But it was best to get it out in the open. He wanted her. And he was pretty sure the feeling was reciprocated.
“Is that because of what I said about you...you know...at the wedding?”
“You mean when you told your friends you’ve thought about me naked?”
Color quickly flamed her pale cheeks. “Is that what I said?”
“Yes.”
She shrugged and smiled a little. “Well, since you were there and heard the whole conversation, there’s no point denying it.”
Gabe laughed. He liked that about her. She wasn’t serious all the time. Even without her natural beauty, she had an energy and humor that fascinated him. For a moment, Gabe wished he could wind the clock forward, to a time in the future when he could guarantee any promises or commitment he might want to make. But he couldn’t. And wishes were for fools.
He pushed some words out. “I guess not. Your friends don’t seem to approve of your plans, though.”
“They don’t,” she said, and sipped some wine. “But they support me, so that’s all that matters. You know how family and friends can get sometimes...as if they know what’s best, regardless of how a person might feel about it.”
Gabe knew exactly. “You don’t like weddings much?”
Her eyes widened. “Sure I do. Weddings are...my life.”
“Really?”
She looked at him. “Well, maybe not my life. My job, at least.”
He heard hesitation in her voice. “But?”
Her shoulders dropped. “Oh, you know, pretending the fairy tale exists on a day-in-and-day-out basis can be monotonous.” She shook herself and picked up the cutlery again. “Sorry, I don’t normally complain about it. But you’re...” She stopped and looked at him. “Even though a week ago I was convinced you were simply another ridiculously handsome but conceited jerk, you’re surprisingly...easy to talk to.”
A good bedside manner is essential....
How many times had he heard that?
Gabe shook off the guilt between his shoulder blades. “Oh, I can be just as much of a jerk as the next guy.”
She laughed, and the sound echoed around the room. “Well, thanks for the warning.”
He placed his elbows on the table. “Don’t thank me. I said I wouldn’t make a pass. I didn’t say it would be easy.”
Her cheeks bloomed with color. “Oh, because I’m—”
“Because you’re Commitment 101.”
“And you’re not?” she queried.
“Exactly.”
“Have you ever been tempted? Or close?” she asked and pushed her barely eaten meal aside.
“Once,” he replied and took a drink. “It didn’t work out.”
She stared at him, as if she was trying to figure out why. But she never would. He didn’t talk about it. Ever. She took a second, swallowed hard and then spoke. “Did you love her?”
“It didn’t work out,” he said again, a whole lot quicker than he would have liked. “I guess there’s your answer.”
Her brows arched. “So you didn’t love her? Not even a little bit?”
Gabe’s mouth twisted. “I didn’t realize there was such a thing as being a little bit in love. I cared for her, sure. But like I said, we didn’t work out. There’s no great mystery to it.”
He wasn’t about to tell Lauren that she was right—he hadn’t really loved his ex-girlfriend. He’d done her a favor by letting her go. He was sure of it. And besides, Mona hadn’t put up much resistance. Once she’d known she had an out clause, she’d left their relationship as quickly as she could.
Lauren bit her bottom lip, watching him. “So you got burned?”
He shrugged. “Not exactly.”
“Then what, exactly?” she asked.
“We split up,” he replied. “We went our separate ways. Neither of us was heartbroken.”
“Which leaves you where?” Her eyes were full of questions. “Working at the surf club and having casual relationships and sex with women who are equally uninterested in commitment?”
“Ah...I suppose.”
“Well, that sounds...like fun.”
Not.
That was what she was thinking. Shallow and meaningless and hollow. Gabe thought so, too...even though he’d drilled himself to accept his present and future. But he suddenly lost his appetite.
“It is what it is,” he said, and pushed back in his seat. “I’m not looking for...anything.”
She watched him, her brown eyes darkening. “I’ve always believed that we’re all looking for something...love or sex, belonging, companionship. Or maybe something more complicated, like peace of mind...or even isolation.”
Which one are you looking for?
That was the question in her words. Gabe shrugged a shoulder casually. She was so close to the truth. “Is that why your marriage didn’t work out?” he asked, shifting the focus back to her. “Because you wanted different things?”
She gripped her wineglass. “My marriage failed because my husband and I had nothing between us but fleeting physical attraction. Which isn’t enough,” she added.
It explained why she wanted a passionless relationship...sort of. “And now you’re looking for more?” he asked. “Or maybe less?”
“Sometimes less is more,” she replied. “Which is why I’m determined to think with my head next time...and not my—” she paused, smiling “—libido.”
Gabe tensed. Thinking of her libido didn’t do his any favors. “Or your heart?”
She smiled. “Precisely,” she said.
He remembered what his cousin had said to him the night before. She’d lost someone. She’d lost love and settled for sex. The fact that she now wanted a middle road made perfect sense. “Someone did get it, though?”
Her gaze was unwavering. “You mean my heart? Yes. Someone did.”
“Who was he?”
Silence stretched between them. He shouldn’t have asked. He shouldn’t want to know. The more he knew, the harder it would be to stay away from her.
“My first love. My only love, I guess.”
She said the words so quietly and with such raw honesty, his insides contracted. He didn’t want to hear any more. “You don’t have to—”
“His name was Tim,” she said, cutting him off. “We met in college. I was nineteen and studying business. He was across the hall in engineering. We fell in love. A few years later we got engaged. And then...”
Gabe knew what was coming, but he asked anyway. “And then, what?”
She drew in a sharp breath. “And then he died.”
“Was it an accident?”
She shook her head. “No. He was sick.”
Sick...
Gabe’s stomach churned uneasily, and he forced the next words out. “What kind of illness did he have?”
“Primary glioblastoma,” she replied. “It’s a—”
“I know what it is,” he said quickly and pushed his chair back some more.
Brain tumor...
An aggressive, unforgiving kind of cancer that usually left a patient with months to live rather than years. It was all he needed to hear. It was time to go. He needed to finish eating and leave.
“I’m sorry,” Gabe said, and spent the following few minutes pretending interest in his food. Even though he felt sick to his stomach. He pushed the meal around on the plate, finished his wine and declined the coffee she offered to make.
“I need to get going,” he said as soon as he felt it was polite to do so, and stood.
“Oh...sure.” She got to her feet. “Thanks again for looking after Jed.”
“No problem. Thanks for dinner.”
Once they reached the front door, he lingered for a moment. He liked her. A lot. She was sweet and warm and funny and so damned sexy, he could barely think of anything other than kissing her perfectly bowed mouth. He wanted Lauren in his bed more than he’d wanted anything for a long time.
But he wouldn’t pursue it.
She’d lost the man she’d loved to cancer.
And he’d bet his boots it wasn’t a road she’d ever want to travel again.
He needed to forget all about Lauren. And fast.
