Читать книгу The Women of Janowka - Helmut Exner - Страница 17

– Chapter 10 –

“Well, my boy, heave your bottom onto the sofa and listen to me,” said Karl when he and Eduard were alone in the parlour.

It was a few days after Christmas. Friedrich and Serafine had talked to mother Christine who then had finally made up her mind to allow Katlika to get married. Of course, Karl had persuaded himself that it was his decision. So he talked insistently to Eduard.

“I have talked to Christine, and we both agree on allowing Katlika to marry next year.”

A cold shiver ran down Eduard’s spine and he went red in the face.

“It goes without saying that you must take good care of her. Though you’re still a very young bloke, you can work hard, I’m perfectly aware of that. We have brought Katlika up to be a tidy and diligent girl who will be a good wife to you. So, you better be good to her. Don’t make me break every single bone in your body. We can set the wedding after Easter. Until then you will have to control yourself.”

He winked conspiratorially at his future son-in-law holding out his hand to him. With a smile on his face he continued to speak: “Well, now that you are more or less engaged you can have a little bit of fun already. But make sure you keep off the big honey pot, until the pastor has given you his blessing. Do you know what I mean? Or do I have to speak more plainly?”

“No, that is not necessary.”

Eduard was glad when his future father-in-law finally let go of his hand. The awkwardness of the situation was written all over his face. He wished he was somewhere else at the mere thought of the word honey pot. Until now, he had never had any difficulties talking about intimate issues – it even used to be fun talking to guys of the same age. But now he had been the centre of discussion, which made him feel completely exposed. And, Karl was an experienced man, knowing all the tricks. He himself would most probably have ignored such instructions when he once wooed Christine. Nothing else could be expected from this Karl Exner.

When Eduard entered the kitchen, everybody stared at him, grinning. Friedrich, Gottlieb, Serafine, Christine, Martha – what they were thinking was written in their faces. Of course, they had listened at the door and thanks to Karl’s piercing voice they had heard every single word. Gottlieb wanted to make a coarse remark, but Katlika poked her brother in the ribs with her elbow, and then approached Eduard.

From the parlour Karl’s voice rang out: “Well, starting from today onwards, you may kiss her.”

“But remember to touch her only as far as the waistline!” shouted Gottlieb.

“Will you shut up!” his mother snapped at him.

“That goes for you too, Katlika,” added Gottlieb, while Christine gave him a slap on the back of the head.

“Well, you’ll just have to endure such awkwardness, Eduard,” said Friedrich to his future brother-in-law, when they were sitting together at Friedrich’s house later on.

While Serafine nursed her little daughter in the kitchen, both men had made themselves comfortable in the pleasantly warm living room.

“Since you’re getting married after Easter, it won’t be too bad if you do not obey everything exactly as father Karl has told you. In reality, the old man doesn’t believe you’ll keep your hands to yourself. However, since we have winter now, it’s a must that you look for a warm little place in order to do certain activities. Otherwise you’re in danger of getting a cold bottom.”

“Friedrich!” yelled Serafine from the kitchen now, “stop trying to corrupt Eduard. Please think of your sister’s innocence.”

“My God,” said Eduard, “how embarrassing that was. I could just as well have stood on the table, naked... it really felt like everybody was examining me.”

“We can still catch up on this,” snorted Friedrich, “I know a few women who would take part in it with great interest.”

Having finished breastfeeding, Serafine came to the door now and said: “Stop bothering my little cousin. He’s been through a lot today!”

“Anyone who wants my sister’s honey pot must be able and willing to patiently bear all this.”

Now Eduard gave his future brother-in-law a friendly hook to the chin and both men started to laugh until tears came into their eyes.

Serafine shook her head: “Friedrich, I always thought you were the most sensible man in the family, but, when it comes to craziness, you are in no way inferior to your father.”

Katlika married Eduard Ehmke shortly after Easter. And Serafine’s brother, Rudolf, married Pauline Ehmke, a cousin of Eduard and Serafine. As a funny coincidence, the maiden name of Rudolf’s mother was also Pauline Ehmke. Thus, some friends took great delight in saying: “Couldn’t you just take your time to search for another wife? Nothing can be so urgent that one has to marry one’s own mother.” However, the degree of relationship between both Paulines was very distant.