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Two

“Do you think you left the study window open last night?” Dimanche asked her aunt, the next morning.

“No, I’m sure I didn’t. Why?”

“I woke up and thought I heard a noise. I went downstairs to see if anyone was there, and found the study window open. There was a musty smell, like toadstools. And I thought I saw—”

“Dimanche! You shouldn’t have! Gone downstairs, I mean. You should have woken me!”

A loud thump, followed by an angry yowl from Cyclops, the Hilton Hall cat, announced the arrival of the morning post on the doormat.

“You’d think he’d know by now not to sit there, wouldn’t you?” Dimanche said, glad of a chance to change the subject. “Shall I fetch the post?”

“Do, Dimanche.”

Verity Victorine was a nun. She belonged to the Order of Sainte Gracieuse in Normandy, and had lived peacefully in a small French convent until the day she discovered that Dimanche needed her help. At once she left the convent and hurried back to Hilton Hall, but she still exchanged letters and small gifts with the sisters almost daily.

Verity Victorine loved getting letters. Who does not? But this particular post brought her no pleasure. Her forehead, usually calm and smooth beneath her clean white coif, criss-crossed itself with worry lines and her hands shook as she read her letter for the third time. She stirred marmalade into her hot chocolate, and dropped her letter in a pool of melted butter.

“Is something wrong, Aunt Verity?”

“Read this, Dimanche.”

The letter Verity handed to Dimanche was handwritten on expensive paper. This is what it said: Dimanche tossed the letter down. “Don’t worry, Aunt Verity,” she said. “I know all about the Deed and Title.”

Bludgeon, Bludgeon & Co., SolicitorsCanal Walk ChambersRockford Market

Friday, 22nd June.

Dear Madam,Every one hundred years, on Midsummer Midnight, the Reigning Sovereign calls upon a Lawyer of this county to inspect and ratify the Diller Deed and Title.

This century it’s us – Bludgeon & Bludgeon.

We therefore plan to call upon you to inspect the said Deed and Title, with customary hospitality of a Hogshead of Brandy, on Midsummer Midnight. We beg to remind you that the Ancient Proclamation was laid down by King William the First in the Royal Domesday Book of 1086 and that no Diller has ever failed to obey it.

Your Obedient Servants,Baldwin and Bartholomew Bludgeon.

PS Should Miss Diller fail to present the Deed and Title, then everything – House, Hall, Woods, Goods, Serfs, Chattels, and Appurtenances – including children – must pass into the hand of whomever else may do so.

“Do you, Dimanche? I had quite forgotten it. I don’t even know where it is. I suppose I shall have to tidy my desk.” Verity Victorine sighed. Sometimes she longed for the quiet of the convent.

“Don’t worry, Aunt Verity, it isn’t in your desk. It’s in a strongbox in the bank at Rockford Market.”

The little furrows beneath Verity’s white coif vanished, and she poured herself a second cup of chocolate, this time without marmalade.

“Dimanche, you’re a marvel! How do you know?”

“There’s a chest in the attic, Aunt Verity, it’s full of family papers. I opened it once, when I was looking for a penknife, and read some of them. One was from Great-grandfather Darius, the last Diller to present the Deed and Tide for inspection. He wrote down where it’s kept, and what it looks like, and what you have to do with it, so that the next Diller to do it – me – would know.”

“That’s that, then, Dimanche,” said Verity, happily.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

Dimanche Diller at Sea

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