Читать книгу Welcome to the Jungle, Revised Edition - Hilary T. Smith - Страница 22

EIGHT WAYS TO PROVE YOU DON'T HAVE BIPOLAR

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1 Keep a straight face and neutral affect at all times. This will demonstrate how completely stable your mood is.

2 Whenever you hear something about bipolar disorder on the news, laugh loudly and say, “Ho, ho, ho, I'm so perfectly twitterpated to not be affected by such a foreign and fearsome affliction as that!”

3 Paint rabbit faces on your meds so they look like recreational drugs. Wear furry clothing and plastic beads so people think you're a raver.

4 When you get hospitalized, tell everyone you know you're an “investigative journalist” doing an exposé of what it's “really like” to be hospitalized.

5 Hire a look-alike to impersonate you at social events when you're too depressed to go out.

6 Surround yourself with people who are more extreme than you (drama students, nonrecovering addicts, circus people). In contrast, you will look totally un-bipolar.

7 Start a fake blog about your completely normal, nonbipolar life. Include entries such as, “Fun day at the mall!” and “New kitty is cute!”

8 Get a high-powered career that could never be held by a person with a mental illness. That will show them!

Welcome to the Jungle, Revised Edition

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