Читать книгу Her Second-Chance Family - Holly Jacobs - Страница 12

CHAPTER TWO

THE NEXT MORNING, Audrey woke up with a start. She was sweating and her breath came in fast, shallow gulps, as if she’d just run a race.

“Audrey, Audrey...” Someone was shaking her. She turned and saw Clinton staring down at her. He was pale and his expression was pinched with worry.

“You screamed this time,” he said. “You haven’t done that in a while.”

She scooted higher in the bed and leaned back against the pillow. “I’m so sorry I woke you up.”

He sat gingerly beside her. “Same dream?”

She nodded, though it wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare—one she couldn’t escape.

One she shouldn’t escape.

It had to be the invitation to her reunion that had brought back the events of that awful night.

Audrey winced. She had a college degree and a job she loved. She owned her house. Well, along with the bank. And she had the family she’d always dreamed of.

She should be able to forget. She looked at Clinton.

No, never forget.

She just wished she could put the events of that night behind her. It had changed everything. That one moment had sent her life hurtling in a whole new direction.

She thought of Frost’s poem about two paths. At least the narrator had had a choice.

She took Clinton’s hand and he gave hers a squeeze.

She sometimes marveled at how many good things had also come from that one awful moment.

“Mom?” Bea called from the doorway. Most of the time, the kids called her Audrey, or even Aud, but on occasion Clinton and Bea called her Mom.

“Come on in, sweetie.” She patted the bed, and Bea took the invite, ran over and jumped in next to her. “So, basically, I woke up everyone?”

Bea snuggled close. “Yeah, but it’s okay. We’d have to get up soon, anyway. I started the coffee for you.”

“Wow, how did I get so lucky?” Audrey asked.

She heard the bathroom door slam down the hall.

“Not all that lucky,” Bea whispered. “You woke Willow up, too. She’s not happy about it.”

Clinton snorted. “She’s never happy.”

It had only been four months, Audrey reminded herself...again.

“Well, as long as we’re all up, let’s get our day started.” Audrey sat up in bed. “I’ve got to go into the office today for a meeting, so you guys are hanging out with Maggie May.”

“Are you going to hear about your project?” Clinton asked.

“Yes. I feel nervous every time I think about it.” She knew that even if the firm was awarded the project it wouldn’t be her project. She was too new, too young to be in charge, but it felt like hers.

She’d gone to work at Lebowitz Architecture expecting to do grunt work for years. But Mr. Lebowitz was a one-man firm, and because of that, it wasn’t long before he’d also let her take an active role in the houses he’d designed. She’d eventually helped at every stage, from planning through construction. She frequently drove by those houses, two of them in particular, simply to admire them.

But this new project was different.

The city had donated two downtown lots next to the old railroad tracks for a children’s education center with an emphasis on science and green technology. The plan was to stress innovation and include a small building for classes and lectures, a playground and a community garden area.

Audrey wanted the project so much she could taste it. Mr. Lebowitz had let her take the lead in putting together the firm’s proposal.

And she’d come up with the name for their submission: The Greenhouse—Growing Resources: Educating, Empowering Naturalists House.

Erie already had LEAF—the Lake Erie Arboretum at Frontier Park—on the west side of town and TREC—the Tom Ridge Environmental Center—at the base of the peninsula. The Greenhouse would both fit in with and complement the city’s existing educational centers.

If she got the job.

Well, if Lebowitz Architecture got it.

Clinton pulled her from her thoughts. “Me and Bea aren’t worried. You’ll get it all right. You’re too good not to.”

“I wish I felt as confident.” Having someone believe in her that much meant everything. She’d never got that kind of support from a family, but she’d had Ava and Merrill once upon a time. They’d believed she could do anything, just like the kids did now.

Audrey tried to shake off the nightmare’s residual dark blot. She couldn’t change the past, but she could make a better future.

Clinton, as always, seemed to sense the shift in her mood. Why wouldn’t he? He’d witnessed more of her nightmares and their aftermath than the others. “Come on, Audrey. You not only have LEED credentials, you practice what you preach. We’re the only people I know with a solar water heater and solar panels. You are the perfect architect for this project.” Clinton’s rust-colored hair was more unkempt than usual, and his crooked grin said he found her concerns amusing.

Maybe she’d lost Ava and Merrill after that terrible night, but she’d found Clinton, then Bea, and now Willow. She couldn’t control where her mind took her at night, but she was in charge during the day. She’d built a wonderful family that she was proud of and that’s what she would focus on.

She’d get this project and she’d win over Willow and...

“Let’s go, Aud,” Bea commanded. “Why don’t you get the first shower before Clinton? He takes so long so he’ll smell good for all the girrrrlllls, but it won’t help.”

Bea might not actually be related to Clinton by blood, but the ten-year-old was his little sister in every other way.

“Bea,” Clinton warned on cue, which sent the younger girl screeching down the hall.

In that moment, Clinton looked like any other kid might, as he smiled at Audrey before running after Bea.

A loud series of happy shrieks followed, then Willow screamed at the two of them to shut up, which only made them yell even louder.

The last vestiges of the nightmare sloughed away as Audrey crawled out of bed and grabbed her bathrobe.

When she stepped into the hall she came face-to-face with Willow, whose annoyance was palpable. “Seriously, what is wrong with you people? It’s not even eight in the morning and it’s summer vacation. This house is so freakin’ loud.”

“Sorry,” Audrey said. “I woke the kids.”

“You had your nightmare again?”

Audrey thought Willow’s face softened a bit as she asked the question. For a brief moment, she wondered if that was sympathy in the girl’s expression. Or maybe even empathy.

Willow had never cried out in her sleep, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have bad dreams. She’d spent years in foster care, but before that her home life had given her enough fodder for nightmares for the rest of her life.

“Yeah. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to, but likely it’ll never stop completely.” The only people who could fully understand were Merrill and Ava.

After that night, they’d all tried to get their friendship back on track, but everything had changed. Ava and Merrill could never understand her connection with Clinton. He made them uncomfortable. But her need to balance her karma, she’d never found a better way to put it, won out, as far as she was concerned.

She’d inadvertently been part of something truly harmful, so she felt she needed to make amends.

But no matter how much she did, no matter how many ways she tried to leave a positive mark on the world, it never felt like enough.

“Yeah, well, sorry about the nightmare,” Willow said. “But really, you gotta keep it down in the morning.” And with that, she stalked off down the hall. A moment later she looked back at Audrey. “I’ve got to go and mow today.”

Audrey couldn’t help but feel encouraged that Willow remembered on her own. “Do you have everything you need?”

“Yeah. I texted him back last night and reminded him I was coming so he could batten down the hatches ’cause his burglar was coming over.”

Batten down the hatches? That was an odd phrase for a young girl to use. It was strange, like so many other things about Willow.

Her newest foster daughter turned into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Sooner or later, Audrey would figure Willow out. But not today.

Today, she needed to get to the office.

* * *

TWO HOURS LATER, the kids were at Maggie May’s and Audrey sat across from Abe Lebowitz in his office. Not the main office where he met clients, but his private space, which was cluttered with models, books and a chair that would look more at home in a junkyard than an office.

Mr. Lebowitz said he needed clutter in order to think and be inspired. If that was so, he must be the most inspired man in history, Audrey thought.

And she loved it.

“...so that’s yes,” he said.

“Yes?” Audrey repeated, halfway between a question and a squeal. “Yes? We’ve got the project?”

Abe Lebowitz smiled, the lines of his face crinkling. Audrey knew they came from a lifetime of laughter.

“They approved the project and it’s ours,” he assured her. “And while the firm was awarded the project, I want you to know that I realize why. You pushed for this. You did the work. This project wouldn’t have been on my radar without you.”

“I think we can really raise awareness, Mr. Lebowitz. The Lake Erie region is such a unique environment and we need to protect it. We have TREC on the peninsula, and LEAF on the west side. The Greenhouse in the center of the city will give our inner-city students a chance...”

Mr. Lebowitz held up his hand.

Audrey stopped short. “Sorry,” she said ruefully.

He smiled again. “That enthusiasm is why I hired you. Don’t ever lose it.”

And then it was straight back to business as he outlined her responsibilities. “...and you’ll be coordinating with Marcia James, who works for the mayor, and Ms. Wilkins, who’s with the school district. They love your designs, but as you know a big part of this project is working with the school district and trying to incorporate some of the kids’ suggestions into the project. This is going to be a long-term commitment on your part. This summer is your golden time. We know we have the project, but the real work won’t start until school begins in September. You’re going to need to coordinate with the school district and the contractors and still manage your work here.”

“I can do it. So much of the project can involve my own kids. I don’t think it’s going to take away from family time.” It would require a lot of juggling, but Audrey would make it work. Somehow she always made it work. “Thank you so much for the opportunity, Mr. Lebowitz.”

He took her hand in his and patted it. “You’re an asset, Audrey. Back when I started the firm, I didn’t worry about sustainability. Frankly, it wasn’t something I thought about much at all until I hired you. Now, I incorporate so many of your ideas into projects. Your passion is contagious.”

“Willow says I’m trying to save the world one compost pile at a time whenever I make her take the kitchen scraps out, but really, I’m trying to save it one house at a time. One geothermal heating unit at a time. One thermal mass wall at a time.” She laughed, not because anything she said was funny but because she was happy and excited. She’d worked so hard on the Greenhouse.

Willow had scoffed at the idea of all the time the project would take. All the work without any financial return. She’d said it didn’t make sense. But Audrey knew that the returns would be so much more lasting than money.

“Your kids are on board with this?” Mr. Lebowitz asked.

She nodded. “They’re behind me. To be honest, Clinton and Bea will be almost as excited as I am.”

“And your new girl? Willow?” Mr. Lebowitz asked.

“She’ll come around. I caught her throwing a banana peel in the compost bucket on her own the other day. And she did go see that Mr. Williams about mowing his lawn. Those are positive steps. She’s heading over to his house this afternoon for the first time.”

She didn’t say it out loud, but she couldn’t help but remember Willow’s concern that morning about her nightmare. “Yes, she’ll come around,” Audrey said with certainty.

“I’m glad. Maybe I could take the kids out on a field trip of sorts this summer? I haven’t been to Fallingwater in so long. That’s a shame, since it’s only three hours away.”

Audrey had gone to the famous Frank Lloyd Wright house as a student, but hadn’t been back since. Mr. Lebowitz was right; that was a shame. “I’ve never taken the kids there. I’m sure Bea and Clinton would enjoy it.”

“And do you think we can talk Willow into coming with us?” he asked.

“We can try.” That was her mantra with Willow. I can try.

Mr. Lebowitz nodded. “Maybe I’ll ask Maggie May, too,” he said a little too nonchalantly.

His suggestion caught Audrey unaware, but she didn’t tease or prod him.

She did, however, decide to try to find reasons to throw the two of them together this summer.

Wouldn’t it be nice if two of her favorite people in the world got together?

Maggie had said she was dating someone, but it couldn’t be serious yet. Audrey wasn’t sure why she hadn’t thought of it before. Mr. Lebowitz and Maggie.

She almost laughed at herself. Playing Cupid wasn’t in her nature.

“I’m sure Maggie would love a day out.” But what if Maggie had already fallen for the new man? “I mean, I think there’s a chance she’s been going out with someone recently.”

“I’m not afraid of a little competition,” he said. “I like a challenge.”

“I just wouldn’t want to see you get hurt,” she said.

“Audrey, honey, you know you’re more than an employee to me, right?”

She nodded.

“Then I want to be clear this is your friend speaking, not your boss. Because a boss shouldn’t get too involved in an employee’s life. But a friend should.”

“Okay.” She had no idea where he was going with this.

“If I went out with Maggie and got my heart broken, that would not be your fault. It would be mine. Maybe hers. Not yours. When you interned here, I thought you were the most responsible twenty-something I’d ever met. I thought it was a strength, and that sense of responsibility is one of the reasons I hired you. And as a boss, it is a strength. But as a friend, I think there’s a chance it’s conversely one of your greatest weaknesses. You can’t be responsible for everyone’s pain.”

“I just didn’t want to see you...”

“Everyone gets hurt, honey,” he said firmly. “And if you never get hurt, then you’re never risking yourself. And playing it safe isn’t really living.”

“Okay.”

He sighed. “I’ve offended you now.”

“No. Really.” She forced a smile. “Nothing could bother me today. I plan to walk on air. Mr. Lebowitz, thank you again.”

“You did this on your own, Audrey.”

“No, I didn’t. I did this with your help and with the kids’ support.” And she knew that she’d also done it because of that night so long ago. A night that threw her onto a new and unplanned path.

Maybe Mr. Lebowitz was right. Maybe she did take responsibility for things outside her control. Maybe she needed to risk herself more.

Maybe.