Читать книгу Dad Today, Groom Tomorrow - Holly Jacobs - Страница 11

Joe waited outside the candy store, still uncertain what to do, what to say to Louisa.

He worked third shift last night, and was kept busy for the entire eight hours. But at the oddest time a mental picture of the boy, his son, would explode in his mind.

Aaron.

He’d whispered the name to himself, marveling in the wonder of having a son, and strangling on the knowledge that he’d missed so much.

He spotted Louisa walking down the block.

She still was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever met. The kind of woman who didn’t realize how striking she was.

If all that lay between them didn’t exist, she was the kind of woman he’d ask out.

Her expression when she spotted him gave none of her thoughts or feelings away. So many things about Louisa were different than he remembered, but that was probably the biggest change in her.

When they were kids he’d been able to read her like a book. Well, now the book was closed, at least for him.

He refused to speculate about whether there was another man reading her these days.

Joe met that emotionless face and wondered if maybe he’d been wrong, maybe he just thought he’d known her when they were kids.

The Louisa he’d believed in could never have done what she’d done.

“Louisa, we have to talk,” he said.

“Come in,” was her wooden response.

She unlocked and opened the front door and set a stack of papers down on the counter to her left.

“What do you want, Joe?”

What he wanted was to have the first seven years of his son’s life back, but since he couldn’t have that, he settled for asking, “Why?”

Maybe if he could understand, he could forgive Louisa.

She turned and he could see pain in her expression.

“Joe, I never meant for you to know,” she said softly. “And now that you do, it doesn’t change anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m going to make an appointment with a lawyer. I’ll have it all drawn up, nice and legal. Aaron and I expect nothing from you.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question, does it? How could you keep the fact that I had a son from me?”

“Joe, I was going to tell you, but then that announcement came. You’d just gotten engaged to Meghan.”

“I explained that.”

“You asked me for time…. I didn’t have time to give you.”

“You should have told me then.”

“And what? You’d have gone against your parents, risked the business merger, broken the engagement with Meghan?”

“It wasn’t real. Our parents felt the stockholders would be more comfortable merging the companies if they thought the families were merging through a marriage between us. But it wasn’t real. I told you that. You should have believed me.”

“I did. I believed you when you said repeatedly you didn’t want children. You had a life all planned out. I couldn’t take your dreams away from you.”

“You were my dream. You know that.”

“Joe, look at you, a doctor working in an E.R. You’ve done everything you wanted. You accomplished your dreams. I couldn’t take them away from you.”

“So you made the decision for me? You left, taking my son with you…a son I didn’t even know existed.”

Louisa might have learned to hide her emotions, but Joe couldn’t. He could hear the pain in his own voice, but it did little to reflect the depth of what he was feeling.

“Joe, my whys and the past aren’t worth talking about. We can’t change it. It’s over. I know you’re worried about what your wife will think, what your family will think. They never have to know. I’ll have the papers drawn up and send them to you stating we have no claim on you financially. Now, if you don’t mind, I have to work.”

She turned as if she was going to leave, but he grabbed her shoulder and spun her back around.

She’d shut him out by not telling him about his son, but she would never shut him out like that again.

“I do mind,” he said. “We have to come to some sort of agreement here and now. The kind of agreement that doesn’t require a lawyer.”

He dropped his hand from her shoulder.

This time Louisa didn’t move.

“There’s nothing to agree on. Aaron’s my son.” Her voice was flat and her statement final. As if she expected him to shrug his shoulders and simply walk away from the knowledge that he had a son.

Maybe Louisa hadn’t known him any better than he’d known her.

“He’s my son, too,” he said softly.

“Only in the most biological sense. You’re nothing to him.”

It was a direct hit. Her remark cut at him, but rather than let her see how much, he simply said, “That’s about to change.”

Right now there wasn’t much Joe was sure of—his whole world had been tilted off its axis—but he was sure that there was no way he was losing another minute with his son.

He saw that statement register and heard a faint quaver in Louisa’s voice as she asked, “What do you mean by that?”

“I want to get to know my son.”

“I won’t have you coming in here, disrupting his life and then disappearing.”

“There won’t be any disappearing. I plan to stick around. I missed the first seven years of his life, I won’t miss another minute. You’re going to have to find a way to deal with the fact that I’m going to be a part of his life. You’re going to have to share him.”

“What do you propose? Joint custody? What will your wife say to that?”

“I never married her, Louisa,” he said softly.

He’d explained that it was just business, that he and Meghan were just friends and she’d said she understood, but obviously she hadn’t. Just like he still wasn’t sure he understood why she’d left.

She wasn’t telling him everything. Eventually he’d get the answers he wanted, but right now he was concentrating on getting his son.

“I told you then my parents set it up,” he continued. “I had to wait until after the merger to get out of it, but I did get out of it. I didn’t marry Meghan. I couldn’t, you see. I was in love with someone else, and back then I hadn’t given up hope she’d come back to me.”

She stopped a moment, staring at him, some emotion on her face that he couldn’t quite identify.

“But she never did,” he finished.

Finally she said, “What do you want me to do? Just introduce you to him, and say, ‘Aaron, by the way, this is your father and he wants to spend time with you, so you’ll be bouncing from the only home you’ve ever known over to his place and then back again.”’

“I don’t want to upset him, I want what’s best for him, and I think I’m best. I am going to be part of his life. I spent the night thinking of options. I’m suggesting something better than joint custody.”

“Such as?” she asked.

“Marry me.”

Marry me.

When Louisa had discovered she was pregnant she’d dreamed he would say those words.

Marry me.

It’s what they’d always talked about. She’d always dreamed that she would one day marry Joe Delacamp, no matter that she was just a Clancy. Just the dirt-poor, town drunk’s daughter.

Then he’d gotten engaged to Meghan Whitford. A girl from his social circle. A girl he’d always claimed was just a friend.

He’d said his parents had set it up.

She’d told him to just break it off, but he’d claimed he couldn’t. There was a business deal in the works and publicly breaking off with Meghan could ruin the deal.

Louisa didn’t understand people who would use something as sacred as marriage—or even just an engagement—to forge a business merger.

Joe had asked her to give him time.

Time was something Louisa hadn’t had. She’d been two months pregnant with a child—the child of a man who’d always claimed he’d never be a father.

Still, despite his pseudo-engagement, she’d planned to tell him. To let him decide what he wanted to do.

And then his mother had come to her, and that one visit had changed everything….

Louisa pulled herself back from the past.

It was history.

Ancient history.

She couldn’t alter what she’d done. At the time she’d thought she’d done what was best for everyone.

Now?

Listening to him talk about the son he’d never known, she wasn’t sure.

“Marry me,” he repeated.

“Marry you?” She laughed then, shocked at the bitterness she heard in her own voice. “You’ve got to be insane to think I’d marry you.”

“You’ve got to be even more insane if you think I’m sharing custody of Aaron. I want it all. Every day. I want to be there when he gets home from school, when he goes to bed, when he gets up the next morning and has breakfast. I want to be there when he brings home his report cards. I want to hear how school went. I want to see him play—does he play sports?”

“Soccer and football,” she answered.

There was a yearning in his expression. “Then I want to go to every game. I missed seven years and I don’t want to miss another moment. The way I see it I have two options. I could sue for sole custody, or I can become a part of your family. Taking Aaron away from the only home and parent he’s ever known is cruel. That leaves becoming part of your family. I don’t think us living together—even if we’re not together in a physical sense—sets a good example. That leaves marriage.”

“And what if I have a significant other?” she asked.

“You’d have to break it off, of course.” He paused and asked, “Do you?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“No, I guess it’s not.” Abruptly he asked, “How could you just leave me like that?”

His voice was barely more than a whisper. “I explained about the engagement. I thought you understood. And then you were just gone. I decided you were too young. After all, I was three years older than you. I figured you’d had second thoughts and were just too young, too confused to tell me, so you’d just left. But that’s not why. You left to have my son in secret. Why? Did you think I’d be like my parents, trying to control him and squeeze the life out of him, inch by inch?”

“You said you never wanted children.”

“Did you think I’d abandon you and our baby?”

She could tell him about his mother’s visit. She could tell him that it had been easier to just leave than risk having him agree with his parents, having him think she’d tried to trap him.

Of all the things his mother could have said, that was the one that cut to the quick.

Louisa had believed what the town said, that she was just “that Clancy girl,” a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.

She’d believed that people would agree with Joe’s mother, that she’d tried to trap him.

She’d believed that his parents would cut him off without a dime, force him to quit school to support her and the baby, and steal his dream of being a doctor.

Maybe they could have found another way…could have dealt with all that. What others thought of her had long ago ceased to matter. But a part of her had felt that eventually Joe would believe all that as well. That he’d think she’d trapped him and stolen his dreams.

That, she couldn’t live with.

What had she done?

She’d been so hurt, felt so betrayed, been so afraid that she’d simply left. In her heart she’d never understood how Joe could love her.

How could she have doubted him?

Looking at the pain in his face right now, she knew that he’d never have abandoned their son.

“Louisa?” Joe said. “You look like you’re going to faint. Sit down before you fall down.”

He led her to a chair behind the counter and helped lower her into it.

His voice was gentle, a whisper of the Joe she used to know. “Here, tuck your head between your knees and breathe deep.”

She’d let her own fears and doubts rob the man she loved of knowing his son.

Slowly she sat up and fought back the tears that threatened to fall.

She should tell him. Should tell him everything that happened.

She wanted to.

She’d believed his mother and doubted Joe. She’d taken the check his mother had offered to secure her son’s future and left, thinking that breaking her own heart was easier than waiting for Joe to break it for her.

She hadn’t trusted him enough…or trusted in their love.

No other explanation was needed.

She’d trust him now.

It was too late for their love, but not too late for him to know his son.

Not that she could marry him.

He said he wanted his son—he wanted Aaron—not Louisa.

She’d thrown away their future when she left, but she would find a way to give Aaron a future with his father.

She’d make it work.

“The past is ancient history. Right now it’s the present we have to worry about. I have an idea,” she said. “I have to do some checking. Meet me after work tonight and we’ll talk.”

“I mean it, Louisa, I want every minute of his life.”

“I understand. And I know you don’t have any reason to believe me, but I’ll do whatever I can to see to it you and Aaron build a good relationship. We’ll talk. After work.”