Читать книгу Just Breathe - Honey Perkel - Страница 16

It began with the tantrums. At fifteen months, Brian began to have a terrible time accepting the word “no”. He tightened up his little body, turned red-faced, and lay on the floor screaming. With tears streaming down his face, choking, convulsing nearly to the point of throwing up, he screamed for what seemed forever. We thought he was going through what everyone knows as the terrible twos, a phase, only in this case he was starting earlier. We hoped with any luck, he’d out grow it earlier. But that didn’t happen. He was getting bigger and stronger. There was no consoling him unless we gave in, which was not an option. So he lay there and yelled. Bob and I were amazed at the boy’s stamina.

“Let him scream it out,” advised well meaning friends and family. Sure, I thought, they didn’t have to listen to him. It was always easy to tell others what to do.

Of course, seeing Brian so distressed was difficult for Bob and me. And it went on nearly every day. At nap time. At bedtime. When play time was over. Dragging him away from a birthday party was torture. He loved playing with other kids. Any time his routine was interrupted for another activity, he’d grow so angry.

What was wrong? Was this behavior normal? I thought we were doing the right thing by taking a firm hand. Maybe it wasn’t. It was hard to know.

One day, I had a dentist appointment. It had been arranged that my friend, Jo, would watch Brian while I was gone. We often planned play dates for our babies. Times when Jo and I would sit and visit. Occasionally, we babysat for one another.

When I arrived at her house she hadn’t yet returned from a morning shopping trip; her sister was there watching Andy. I had a few minutes to spare so I sat down to visit with Ann.

I didn’t know the woman well, nor did she know me. Her demeanor seemed formal, her eye critical. Brian was fussy, perhaps sensing that I was planning to leave.

I waited for Jo as long as I could and when I finally stood up, Brian began his usual tirade. I held him and tried to console him, told him Mommy had to go, but that I’d be back soon. But he was unmanageable. If I didn’t leave right now, I’d be late for my appointment. I told this to Ann.

“I’d never leave my child if he was this upset,” Ann told me sharply.

I began to panic. Jo still hadn’t returned and I couldn’t cancel my appointment just because my baby was upset by my leaving. I knew Ann was thinking I was a terrible mother, but ...

“I’m so sorry, Ann, but I have to go.” I was all but pleading for her to understand. I wasn’t a terrible mother. I loved my child, and Jo would be coming home any moment. Brian would be all right with her.

Ann stood there and gave me the most disapproving look as I thrust Brian at her. I hurried out the door.