Читать книгу Unlearn: 101 Simple Truths for a Better Life - Humble Poet the - Страница 28

We all see this world in terms of ourselves. We all have interests and needs that need to be met first. This isn’t selfish. Selfish is when you don’t allow others to do their own thing and expect them to conform to what you want. You don’t want people restricting how you get to live your life, so don’t do it to others.

Focusing on yourself is really one of the least selfish things you can do. It puts you in a position to be empathetic to other people who are also trying to focus on themselves. You can develop an “Imma do me, you do you” mindset, which can create an environment that lets people grow on their own terms (scary idea for control freaks).

Instead of trying to find that right person for you, focus on becoming that right person yourself. The people you appreciate will generally be the people who appreciate you so be around them and work on being the type of person you want around.

Putting yourself first is an act of survival as well. We can all easily drain ourselves trying to accommodate the whims of others. We can spend our entire life trying to make other people happy, and realize we have no life left for ourselves.

It’s not romantic to think about how really self-indulgent we all are, but that doesn’t take away from that fact. If you understand that people work according to their interests, it’s even easier to work with them and get along. Everyone wants to know what’s in it for them; respect this ideal and everyone will benefit from the interactions.

Selfish isn’t pursuing what you want in life, it’s when you’re not also helping others in theirs. We all have things and people we’re enthusiastic about—help them, and find joy in doing so. I’m a product of all your support and I appreciate you all for it. I’m not in a position to help everyone, nor am I motivated to do so, so I focus on those I can and want to help. Social obligations and being around people you don’t want to be around are just a waste of life.

It’s OK to let people know that you’re not excited to be around them; if anything, that’ll keep you from having to be around them for much longer.