Читать книгу Made for Each Other - Irene Brand - Страница 12

Jacob had attempted to hide his distress so that Aimee wouldn’t feel bad about saying the wrong thing to him, but as soon as he drove away from her house, reaction set in. A few blocks from her house, he pulled over to the curb, stopped the vehicle and slouched over the steering wheel.

His resentment of his absent father was one of the hardest situations he faced in living a Christian life. And when this resentment surfaced, he didn’t even feel as if he was a good counselor. How could he counsel clients who had a grudge toward family members when he knew he hadn’t forgiven his father for abandoning him? He’d prayed often for the grace to forgive his father, so why couldn’t he put it behind him?

Aware of how his father’s abandonment concerned Jacob, several times Gran had suggested that he search for his father. The last time the subject was mentioned, Gran had said, “For all you know, your father may be dead, or perhaps he was involved in a situation that made it impossible for him to contact you.”

“Well, if that’s the case, there isn’t any need to search,” Jacob had replied.

“But you’re certain to have other relatives. Perhaps grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins,” Gran had quietly insisted.

“I don’t even know where his family lived. If only Mother had told me more about him before she died. I think I remember asking her questions a few times, but she ignored me. She could have at least told me that.”

As Jacob pulled back onto the road and headed home, he realized that he resented his mother’s silence even more than his father’s desertion. She should have leveled with him about the trouble between her and his father.

And as he thought of their conversation, Jacob knew that Aimee had a point. He did have hard feelings toward his mother, too. He resented his father for abandoning him and his mother, and he blamed her for dying before he was old enough for her to answer some of his questions. He drove into the garage, turned off the engine and leaned his head on the steering wheel.

“God,” he moaned in distress, “I can’t carry this burden much longer. Give me some guidance. This is ruining my life.”

Jacob had almost kissed her. Why did he draw back? Aimee was alarmed at her own reaction. She’d wanted him to kiss her! What had happened to her? A week ago she was perfectly satisfied with her life. Now, it seemed like everything had gone haywire.

She had been content to live out her life as a mother, eventually a mother-in-law and a grandmother. Now, after seeing Jacob Mallory a few times, she wondered if that was enough. She finally had to admit to herself that she was lonely. She knew she was no longer satisfied with her life as it was.

As she undressed for bed, Aimee made up her mind that Samantha was still her first responsibility, and always would be. She’d have to be very cautious if there was going to be any room in her life for a friendship with Jacob. Still, as the week passed, Aimee was disappointed when he didn’t call, and she wondered if it was already too late to guard her heart.

Although she had intended to return to Memorial Church on Sunday, when she woke up on Saturday with Jacob on her mind, she wondered if she should go. Was he annoyed because she had questioned him about his family? Since he hadn’t called, she guessed he didn’t want to see her. Or did he think she was expecting more from him than he was willing to give? If he was interested in her only as a possible volunteer for Substitute Siblings, she didn’t want him to assume she was pursuing him by showing up at places where she knew he would be.

So on Saturday afternoon when Erica called and invited her to ride to church with her the next morning, Aimee turned her down. “I haven’t visited my folks for a few weeks, so I’m going to see them tomorrow. I’ll go to their church. That will make them happy. They haven’t approved of the way I’ve neglected worship.”

When Samantha came upstairs for dinner, Aimee said, “How about going to see Papaw and Grammy tomorrow?”

“All right, I guess,” Samantha said.

“Let’s leave early enough to go to church with them.”

“Hey, what’s up, Mom? Why are you pushing church at me all of a sudden?”

Aimee felt her face flushing. It was hard for her to come up with the words to explain to Samantha about the time she’d spent with God a few nights ago. But she had to let Samantha know that she intended to follow the teachings of the Bible more closely in the future than she’d been doing for several years.