Читать книгу A Family to Call Her Own - Irene Hannon, Irene Hannon - Страница 10

Zach turned up his collar and took another sip of steaming coffee from the paper cup. The Red Cross tent offered an oasis of light but only marginal protection from the cold drizzle and bone-chilling wind that sliced through the darkness. It had been raining steadily for the past three days, and the river was rising ominously, edging precariously close to danger levels. An urgent call had gone out two days ago for volunteer sandbaggers, and it seemed just about everyone in town had turned out to help with the hard, messy work. Zach had interviewed a number of volunteers as well as National Guard and Red Cross spokespeople, and he was just about to call it a night.

But though he was tired and cold, he was also impressed by the spirit of generosity and selflessness he’d discovered during his ten days in the small community. Having dealt for so long with the selfish, unethical side of human nature, he’d almost forgotten there was a generous, moral side. His experience in St. Genevieve had certainly given his faith in humanity a much-needed boost.

Zach drained his cup, then turned to toss it into a trash container, colliding with a passing volunteer in the process. His hand instinctively shot out to steady the middle-aged man, who was wearing horn-rimmed glasses.

“Sorry about that,” Zach said contritely.

The man waved aside the apology. “I’m sure it was my fault. These glasses are so fogged up and wet I can hardly see where I’m going.” He took them off and carefully wiped them on a handkerchief, then reset them on his nose and grinned at Zach. “That’ll help—for about two minutes.”

Zach’s mouth twisted into a wry smile of acknowledgment. “Nasty night.”

The man looked out into the darkness and nodded. “It sure is. I just hope we can keep up with the river.” He turned back to Zach and held out his hand. “I’m Phil Carr. English teacher at the high school.”

Zach returned the man’s firm grip. “Zach Wright from St. Louis. I’m a reporter, here to cover the flood.”

“Oh, yes, Mark Holt mentioned your name.”

“You know Mark?”

Phil smiled. “This is a small town. I know a lot of people. Besides, Mark lives down the street from me.” He hesitated and looked at Zach earnestly. “I was actually hoping I might run into you.”

Zach’s eyebrows rose quizzically. “Why is that?”

“Well, I hope you won’t think this is too much of an imposition, and I’ll understand if you can’t do it, but I teach composition and it would be a real treat to have a reporter from St. Louis talk to one of the classes. Do you think you might be able to spare an hour or two before you head back?”

Zach considered the unexpected invitation thoughtfully. He hadn’t done anything like that for a long time, and his classroom skills were probably pretty rusty. But it might be fun. “Sure. As a matter of fact, I’ve always been interested in teaching. I even double majored in college—journalism and education. I just couldn’t make up my mind between the two. But I got a good newspaper offer when I graduated, so that sealed my fate. It would actually be nice to get into a classroom again,” he mused, warming to the idea as he spoke.

“Great! I’ll give you a call. Are you staying in town?”

“Yeah. Let me jot down the information for you.” Zach scribbled the name of his motel, as well as his work number on a piece of paper and handed it to Phil. “If I’m not at the motel, just leave me a voice mail at the office.”

“I’ll do that. And thanks again. The kids will really enjoy this.” He tucked the slip of paper carefully into his pocket and rubbed his hands together. “Well, back to the trenches,” he said with a smile.

Zach watched him leave, then turned to survey the scene once more. The ranks were thinning a bit, but it was nine o’clock, after all. Most of these people had put in a full day at work and would have to do the same tomorrow. It was really amazing, he thought. The vast majority of the volunteers weren’t personally threatened by the flood, yet they were still willing to help out, even under these miserable conditions. He almost felt guilty for heading back to his warm, dry motel room. But he did have to put this story together and E-mail it to the paper, so he still had a long night ahead of him.

Zach stepped out from under the tent and slowly made his way past the line of sandbaggers, shivering despite his sheepskin-lined jacket. The cold rain was already working its way insidiously down his neck, and his boots made loud sucking sounds as he trudged through the mud. He glanced again at the tired faces as he passed. Sandbagging was backbreaking work, as he’d come to learn in the past couple of days, yet people of all ages and sexes were here to help, from high-schoolers to grandfathers to—

Zach stopped abruptly and stared at a slight figure up ahead in one of the sandbag lines. He could swear that was—

“Zach!”

With an effort Zach pulled his gaze away from the figure and turned. “Hi, Mark.”

“Working late?”

“Yeah. But I’m about to call it a night. Listen, tell me I’m wrong, but—” he glanced back with a frown toward the figure that had caught his attention “—is that…”

“Rebecca?” Mark finished. “Yeah. She’s been helping every spare minute since the call went out for sandbaggers. I’ve been trying to convince her to go home for the last hour. I even offered her a ride, but she said she wanted to stay.”

“How long has she been here?”

Mark shrugged. “I don’t know. But she was here when I showed up three hours ago.”

Zach felt a muscle clench in his jaw, and he jammed his hands into his pockets. “She must be frozen. Not to mention exhausted.”

“Well, why don’t you try to convince her to leave?” Mark suggested. “Maybe you’ll have better luck. I sure didn’t get anywhere. Say, Joe!” he called to a figure in the distance.

“Wait up! Zach, I’ll see you later.”

Zach watched Mark disappear into the darkness, then looked back at Rebecca. Her motions were robotlike, as if she was operating on adrenaline and nothing else. Which was probably the case, he thought grimly. She was too delicate for this type of heavy work, anyway. Couldn’t whoever was in charge see that? In sudden decision, without stopping to consider how his actions might be interpreted, he strode over and laid his hand on her shoulder.

She turned, her eyes dull with fatigue, and frowned up at him in confusion. “Zach?”

One searching sweep of her face was all it took for Zach to assess her physical condition—absolute exhaustion—and he glanced around, signaling to a passing National Guard member who held a clipboard.

“Zach, what is it?” Rebecca asked, her voice so scratchy and hoarse it was barely recognizable.

“Hang on a sec, okay?” he replied curtly.

The uniformed man joined them, and Zach nodded toward Rebecca. “Do you have someone who can fill in here? She’s had all she can take,” he said tersely.

The National Guard member gave Rebecca a quick but discerning glance and nodded. “No problem.” He turned and scanned the group on the sidelines, motioning to another uniformed Guard member. “Dave, take over here for a while, okay?” he called.

Zach took Rebecca’s arm and gently drew her away from the line. Her legs felt stiff and shaky when she tried to walk, and she stumbled, grateful that Zach reached out to steady her, his hands firm on her shoulders. But why was he bothering her, when there was so much urgent work to do? She looked up at him, still frowning. “What are you doing?” she demanded.

“You’re going home, Rebecca.”

She stared at him, and even through the haze of her fatigue she was aware of the rigid set of his jaw and the steely determination in his eyes. On one hand, she was touched by his concern. More than touched, actually. No man had ever taken such an active interest in her well-being. On the other hand, she wasn’t accustomed to being ordered around. Even if it was for her own good. She straightened her shoulders and glared at him. “Excuse me?”

Zach saw the sudden, stubborn tilt of her chin, heard the indignant tone in her voice, and sighed. Wrong move, buddy, he admonished himself. Rebecca was not the type to respond to high-handed tactics. And he wasn’t the type to employ them—socially, at least. But for some reason, seeing Rebecca cold and tired and wet had awakened a sort of primal, protective urge in him, and he’d reacted instinctively. And obviously inappropriately. Giving orders was clearly not the way to convince her to go home.

A sudden harsh gust of wind tugged several strands of wet hair out of Rebecca’s French twist and whipped them across her face, and a visible shudder ran through her body as she reached up to brush them aside. Before she could lower her hand Zach captured it in a firm grip, silently stripping off her wet glove and cocooning her fingers between his palms. Her hand felt like ice, and a spasm once more tightened his jaw. He took a deep, steadying breath, and when he spoke he made an effort to keep his tone gentle and reasonable, though neither of those emotions accurately reflected his mood at the moment.

“Rebecca, Mark says you’ve been out here at least three hours. You’re chilled to the bone, you’re wet and you’re exhausted. You need to go home where it’s warm and dry and get some rest. You won’t help anyone if you stay here till you get sick.”

Rebecca looked into Zach’s concerned eyes, and her protest died in her throat. She couldn’t argue with his logic. And he was right about her physical condition. Her legs were shaky, her back was stiff, and her hands and feet were numb with cold. She’d put in a full day at the restaurant, and she had to be up at six tomorrow. It probably made sense for her to call it a night.

With a deep, weary sigh she gave in, her shoulders suddenly sagging. “I guess you’re right,” she admitted, her voice flat and lifeless with fatigue as she brushed a hand tiredly across her eyes. “Mark said he’d give me a lift a little while ago. I just need to find him.”

“I’ll take you home, Rebecca.”

Her eyes flew to his in surprise. “You?”

“I was leaving, anyway. In a town this size, your place can’t be that far out of my way.”

Rebecca never took the risk of putting herself in a situation where she was alone with a man she barely knew. But Zach was a respected journalist. He was a friend of Mark’s. Ben liked him. So did Rose and Frances. Surely a simple ride home would be safe. Besides, she was just too tired to worry about it tonight. She felt strange—unsteady and shaky—and she knew that if she didn’t sit down soon, she was going to fall down.

Zach watched her face, prepared to argue the point if she protested. Under normal circumstances he knew she’d flatly refuse his offer of a ride. But in her state of near collapse he hoped that instead of trying to analyze his motives, she would simply accept them at face value. He cared about her and simply wanted her safe and warm and rested. It was as simple as that. He wasn’t sure himself why he cared so much about a woman he hardly knew. But he did.

He watched her face, trying to anticipate her response, but before he could come to any conclusions she surprised him by acquiescing.

“All right, Zach. Thank you,” she accepted wearily.

He felt a tension he hadn’t even realized was there ease in his shoulders, and silently he took her elbow and guided her toward his car. The fact that she didn’t protest this protective gesture told him more eloquently than words that she was about ready to drop. He could sense that every step was an effort for her, and when she stumbled a couple of times on the uneven ground he was tempted to just pick her up and carry her. But he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the lady definitely wouldn’t put up with that. A hand at her elbow was one thing. Holding her in his arms was another—even though the idea was suddenly immensely appealing, he realized. In fact, he’d like to do a whole lot more than that. But he quickly—and firmly—reined in his wayward thoughts. Now was not the time to indulge in romantic fantasies.

When they reached his car he pulled open the passenger door, but Rebecca hesitated, glancing down at her muddy, wet clothes and shoes. “Zach, I’ll m-mess your c-car up,” she protested, trying unsuccessfully to keep her teeth from chattering.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said shortly, dismissing her concern as he urged her gently into the car.

But she held back stubbornly, resisting his efforts. “Don’t you have a blanket or a towel in the trunk that I can sit on?”

He gave her an exasperated look. The last thing he cared about at the moment was soiled upholstery. After all his car had been through in the past ten days, a little dirt wasn’t going to hurt anything. But rather than argue the point, he left her standing by the door to quickly rummage through the trunk, emerging a moment later with a rug he kept handy for tire changes. Wordlessly he laid it over the passenger seat, and Rebecca finally slid into the car. Collapsed was actually a better word, Zach thought grimly, as he shut the door and strode around to the passenger side. She was all in.

She somehow summoned up the energy to direct him to her apartment, and within a few minutes they pulled up in front of her building.

“I appreciate the l-lift, Zach,” she said, her teeth still chattering as she reached for the handle.

“I’ll walk you to your door.”

She thought about protesting, but by the set of his jaw she knew it would be useless. Besides, she was too tired to argue anymore.

He took her elbow again for the short walk, and this time the protective gesture registered in her consciousness—and also tugged at her heart. Rebecca wasn’t sure why Zach continued to bother with her. He’d made no secret about wanting to date her, true, but she’d given him virtually no encouragement. Yet still he’d taken the time to see her home tonight, and she somehow sensed that for whatever reason, he cared about her well-being.

Her door was sheltered by a small porch, barely large enough to accommodate the two of them, and Rebecca was acutely aware of Zach’s presence just a breath behind her as she withdrew the key from the pocket of her coat. Her numb fingers fumbled as she attempted to insert it in the lock, and it slipped from her fingers, clattering to the concrete.

With a weary sigh, she started to bend down, but Zach restrained her with a preemptive hand on her shoulder, retrieving the key himself in one smooth swoop. Then he reached past her to insert it in the lock, his other hand still resting lightly on her shoulder. He was only a whisper away now, and Rebecca caught the scent of his distinctive aftershave as he leaned close. When his arm brushed her chest, a surge of yearning unexpectedly swept over her, and she drew in a sharp breath.

Zach turned to her immediately, his concerned eyes probing her face. “Are you all right?” he asked with a frown.

She nodded jerkily, not trusting her voice.

He looked at her appraisingly, noting that she’d wrapped her arms tightly around her body in a protective gesture that said, “Stay away.” But, surprisingly enough, her unguarded eyes said something entirely different. They reflected a combination of emotions—longing, fear, uncertainty, confusion, yearning. He doubted whether she realized just how eloquent they were. Rebecca definitely did not have a poker face. She wore her emotions too close to the surface, and her eyes were a window to her soul, communicating clearly what was in her heart.

Zach wanted to respond to the longing he saw, wanted to reach out and gather her into his arms, but he stifled the urge and drew in an unsteady breath. His self-control had never been taxed as much as it was around this woman, who brought out a protective instinct in him that he thought had died years ago. She was the kind of woman who should be cherished and loved and always treated gently, in keeping with her gentle nature.

Unfortunately, Zach didn’t have much experience dealing with women like that. Suddenly, desperately, he wished he did, wished he knew how to make Rebecca relax with him, to trust him, to give it a chance. He honestly didn’t know where a relationship with her might lead. The physical attraction was definitely there. And maybe that’s all there was. But he didn’t think so. His gut told him there could be a whole lot more, and he’d learned to trust his instincts. They ought to explore their attraction. But first he had to convince her of that.

However, now was not the time. She was cold, aching, tired and wet. What she needed was a dry, warm bed. And rest. And peace of mind. Which—unfortunately—was his cue to exit.

Rebecca was caught in the spell of Zach’s magnetic eyes as they held hers captive. He had wonderful eyes, she thought. Trustworthy. Caring. Insightful. Vibrant. Passionate. Very definitely passionate, she realized with a start. She might want rest. He clearly wanted something else—something she couldn’t give. Certainly not now. And maybe never. The simple fact was, Zach was a man of intense passions. Rebecca knew that as surely as she knew her reaction to passion. And the two were not a promising combination, she thought bleakly.

Zach saw the sudden melancholy steal into Rebecca’s eyes, and without stopping to consider the consequences he slowly reached over and laid his hand against her cheek, brushing his thumb gently over her soft, silky skin. He felt her quivering beneath his touch, but she didn’t pull away as he’d half expected. She just stared up at him with wide, vulnerable eyes.

Get out of here before you do something you’ll regret, an inner voice ordered. Now!

“Take a hot bath, okay?” he suggested.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“And get some rest.”

“I will.”

It would be so easy to just pull her close, to taste her lips, to demonstrate the depth of his attraction to her. It was what he wanted to do. Even with her hair in disarray and darkened by dampness, her classic features tinged with fatigue and wiped free of makeup, wearing mud-caked boots and an oversize parka, she did more for his libido than any woman he’d ever met. It didn’t make any sense. And if he was confused, she surely would be, too.

Zach didn’t usually waste time analyzing his reaction to a woman. He just listened to his hormones and went after what he wanted. But he knew instinctively that Rebecca wouldn’t respond to his usual direct approach. And he also recognized that tonight was not the time to explore their attraction. She was too tired and too vulnerable.

Regretfully, summoning up the last reserves of his self-control, he let his hand drop from her cheek and removed his other hand from her shoulder. “Good night, Rebecca.”

“G-good night. And thank you.”

He hesitated one more second, then, with a last lingering sweep of her face, he turned and strode away into the rain.

Rebecca rose on one arm to peer at the bedside clock, reading the digital display with a groan. One in the morning! She thumped her pillow and flopped onto her back, cringing as her aching muscles protested the abrupt movement. After the last couple of days of backbreaking work she needed rest desperately, but sleep was proving to be elusive tonight. Her sore muscles were just making it too difficult to get comfortable.

But so were thoughts of Zach, she admitted. Tonight she was sure he had been thinking about kissing her. But then, in her exhausted state, maybe she’d misread his eyes. It wasn’t as if she had a whole lot of experience to draw on. But there had definitely been…vibrations, she thought, for lack of a better word. Surely she wasn’t mistaken about that. Yet, in the end, he’d simply walked away.

Rebecca stared at the dark ceiling and tried to think logically. Despite his restraint earlier in the evening, she knew he was interested. He’d made no secret of the fact. He’d been angling for a date ever since their “official” meeting in the diner. She’d put him off, but he didn’t seem discouraged. Just more determined. Which made her nervous.

But what made her even more nervous was her interest in him.

Rebecca closed her eyes and drew a deep, quivering breath. She didn’t want to be interested in Zach. She didn’t want to feel nervous and unsettled every time she was in his presence. She didn’t want to wait anxiously every day to see if he’d stop in for lunch so she could at least catch a glimpse of him. But she was and she did. And that scared her. Because she knew that deep in her subconscious she was starting to consider going out with him.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to date him. She did. She found him attractive, was flattered by his attention, impressed by his apparent character and integrity. But she was so afraid of what would happen if he… A choked sob cut off her thought in mid-sentence. She didn’t have to wonder what would happen. She knew. Physical closeness freaked her out. Period. She’d embarrass both of them. He might even be angry. She didn’t know him well enough to be able to judge his reaction. But based on past experience with other men, it wouldn’t be pretty. No, dating Zach would be a mistake.

Besides, she consoled herself, he’d be leaving soon. This was just a temporary beat for him. He was a city man, used to lights and action and excitement. And he sure wouldn’t find those in St. Genevieve. She was better off sticking to her original decision.

But if that was true, then why didn’t she feel better off? she cried silently.

Zach typed in the final line of his story, then leaned back and wearily massaged his temple. It had been a long, cold, wet night, and it had taken him what seemed like hours to warm up after he dropped Rebecca off. But at least he had a good story to show for his discomfort, he thought in satisfaction. It uplifted. It reaffirmed. It found goodness even in the midst of chaos and tragedy. It was the kind of story Josef would like, he realized suddenly, a faint smile touching his lips as he thought of his friend.

Zach pulled out his wallet and flipped through the plastic holders, stopping at one that contained a photo taken at Isabel’s christening, nearly eight years before. Josef and Katrina had insisted that Zach be the godfather, though he’d protested that the honor should go to a relative. He still remembered Josef’s response to his reaction.

“Sometimes ties of the heart are the strongest of all, stronger even than blood, Zachary. You are my best friend, and you would honor us by becoming part of our family in this way.”

And so, of course Zach had agreed. He recalled clearly the day the picture was taken. It was right before Zach and Katrina went home, an unseasonably warm late-May afternoon even for St. Louis. They asked him to hold Isabel for the picture, and then stood on either side of him while the minister snapped the photo. Zach had no experience with babies and was almost afraid to grasp the tiny, fragile bit of life, with her flailing arms and kicking legs. But Josef laughingly assured him that Isabel wouldn’t break, and in fact she lay quietly in his arms as the picture was taken, staring up at him solemnly with big blue eyes.