Читать книгу Scars of Iron - Ivy G. Shadrick - Страница 12

I was young and naive when I gathered my most dedicated followers. Some of them are still with me, while others have long since faded. Though many believed in my ways, nearly one-third of the human population opposed my rule. So, I rampaged and created a new, perfect world from the former's ashes.

Soon after, I realized I had brought humanity to the opposite extreme.

The decade before The Renewal was destitute and all hope had been lost. No one thrived in that world and every person struggled for more. It was a place where diseases killed thousands every hour. So, I created my new version of the world, and I used to believe that it was better.

All I know now is that I saved them.

-A.A public entry

[DELETED]

My fingers brushed through the tips of my short hair, braiding, and unbraiding small locks over and over. Blood pounded in my ears, drowning every other sound out.

Elaric sat across the desk from me, snapping my attention away from the window.

“Your training is almost complete,” he said, his voice harsher than usual today. “Your combat skills have come a long way, and your poisons are coming along nicely.”

“I'm not sure if I can do it,” I blurted before I could think twice. Elaric's eyes went wide, and mine dropped to my lap.

But he dismissed the comment, saying, “You can wait as long as you want before doing anything.” His gaze never once left my face. “You will need to be accepted into the palace and gather as much information as possible before making your move.”

“Didn't you hear me?” I cut his speech short. “I don't think I'm mentally capable of killing someone.”

“You can take your time.”

“I know,” I huffed, rolling my eyes. “You've told me that already. It's not a matter of timing.”

Even with my interruptions, Elaric continued to speak, never missing a beat. “And if you find anything of importance or discover anything that could jeopardize the mission, what will you do?”

“I will go directly to Gaviryn and tell him everything.”

“Yes, and will you tell anyone of the plan or your true intentions?”

“No, I won't,” I droned. “And I won't tell anyone about myself, I will only speak of my alias, and only of my false past.”

“Lies don't look good on you. You'll need to be careful with that mask, make it impenetrable. Make it a permanent part of yourself.”

“Well, I'm not trying too hard right now. And if I was, we'd both be very worried,” I said, not bothering to hide my bitterness for him.

“You only have until tomorrow night, Lithiah. You ought to care more about these last-minute sessions.”

“I understand that. I promise you, I do. But I already know this. I've been working my butt off for weeks.”

“Now, don't become too confident. You have no idea what the palace holds. And even I couldn't tell you because its secrets are so well hidden.”

“I'm sure I'll be fine, I just need to mentally prepare for the toll this will take on me. Also,” I yawned, “I'm exhausted, and I need to rest.”

“I don't care if you're tired. And I don't care that you're doubting yourself. I only care that you don't mess this up for me, the stakes are high, Lithiah, higher than you can imagine. And I can't afford to have you ruin it, the fate of the world rests on your shoulders. And I hope you feel the weight, because if you didn't, then I'd worry.”

“Trust me, Elaric,” I said, leaning forward, resting my arms on the desk between us. “I feel the full weight of these burdens. Trust me, I absolutely do.”

“I do trust you, I–” he couldn't seem to force his words out, “I just– I'm a little–”

“What, tired? You look exhausted.”

“I'm worried about the mission. What if something goes wrong? I won't be there to help, I won't be there to make sure everything goes according to the plan.”

“What? You're worried I won't stick to the plan? I am fully capable of doing this.” I shook my head at him. “I'm already doubting myself, the last thing I need is for you to doubt me too.”

I shot up from my seat and exited the study as fast as I could.

As I walked through the dark halls my mind raced. Then the walls were closing in on me. And Elaric soon caught up with me stepping in front of my path.

“I'm not questioning your abilities,” he panted, “but I don't know what horrors the palace holds.”

“It sure seems like you are.” I laced my fingers behind my back. “Why else would you be worried?”

“I just don't want you to get hurt.”

“I'll be fine,” I barked at him. “You don't need to baby me. I'm the one who survived The Renewal. I'm the one person who survived against all odds, remember?”

His eyes floated down to the stone floor. “I don't doubt your abilities,” he repeated. “I just want you to be safe. I want you to be careful and I want this to succeed.”

“I will be careful. And I want this as badly as you do.”

“Please, promise me you won't do anything reckless,” he said.

“I'll be careful. You can trust me, Elaric,” I breathed, “I promise.” The words felt wrong in my mouth.

His steel mask dissolved, and I could read every emotion written on his face. He was worried about the mission, that much I could tell. But too much cruelty lurked there, too much rage. And he terrified me.

“I trust you, I do. I just don't trust the snakes who live in that palace.”

“Don't worry about that. I know how to hide. I've survived this long, haven't I? I'll be fine,” my voice lowered. “I will forge a new world. I will build a world of imperfection and beauty.” I paused, holding back my tears. “I will forge a new world with the ones I love by my side, with those who will follow me to the ends of the earth. I will create a new and wonderful life, a renewed life for all of humanity. And a new life for myself.”

“I'm sure you will,” he said.

Then I nodded and left.

I sobbed until I fell asleep and when I did sleep, my dreams were plagued with terrors of a life I had lived so long ago. And when I woke up, my face was covered in tears and my bed was soaked in sweat.

And I wept once more.

After hours of grieving, hours of trying to clear my head, I dragged myself to my feet. And when I approached my bathing room a knock sounded at my door.

I wiped my face of any lingering tears, not caring that my cheeks were still splotchy and red.

Not caring that I looked worse than I ever had in my life, I opened the door. And I saw the last person I wanted to speak to that day.

“You look terrible,” Gaviryn Cayce said examining my face.

My cheeks heated but I pushed away all embarrassment and hardened my face. Just as Aegiah had taught me to.

“What do you want?” I asked, not particularly caring. “And if it's unimportant, you can leave.”

“I wanted to hear what you were thinking. If you were considering joining Vassa and me or if you were staying by Elaric's side like a loyal, useless pet.”

“Oh, Gaviryn, I am no one's pet,” I argued with a sugar-sweet smile on my lips. “I may be his blade at the moment, but I belong to no one. And I can wield myself just fine.”

“That's exactly what he wants you to think. But he only wants power, and if you continue to allow him to use you, it will be fatal. Not only to you but to everyone on earth.”

“I will allow him to use me for the time being. But I control myself and I make my own decisions.”

“At least hear my side of the story,” he begged me. “Let me explain why you should work with Vassa, me, and the prince.”

“You have three minutes,” I snapped, “go.”

“Alright,” Gaviryn began, inhaling deeply and curling his fingers into fists at his sides. “I've been feeding Elaric false information regarding prince Axameum for some time now. He believes that our prince is easily influenced and weak. And he thinks that he can control Axameum when the palace falls into chaos,” he paused to catch his breath. “But our prince is better than his mother. He despises her and wants to create a better world too. That's why he hired an assassin.”

I kept my mouth pressed firmly shut.

After another moment of silence, Gaviryn continued, “The prince hired Elaric to search for an assassin. You, obviously, were the person he chose. And since the beginning, I've known Elaric has had ulterior motives. My prince has kept his distance, but he wants you to be on his side. He wants your loyalty when this is all over.”

“No,” I barely gave him a breath before responding, “I will not agree to something blindly. I will not agree to work with him, or any of you snakes from that palace. The deal was that I kill the Queen and leave.”

“He is genuine in his motives, and so am I. We want a council to rule over humanity, and we want you on it.”

“You don't even know me. I don't want to be a part of it.”

His voice dropped to a whisper, “The prince, Vassa, and I will help you hide in plain sight. we will help you gain everyone's trust. We want you to do this without a trace, so you can rule with the prince and his council when this is all done.”

“As I said. I will not agree to anything yet, especially since I've never met the prince.”

“Thank you for considering, he'll be very pleased to hear this.”

“Don't thank me yet, I may just get rid of him too. So that I or anyone else of my choosing can sit upon the throne.” I folded my hands together in front of me. “But I will agree to meet with him. I'll keep that option open for now because I might need help being welcomed into the palace.”

“As long as you are considering joining us, I am forever grateful.”

“What did I just say?” I threatened. “Don't thank me, I haven't made my decision yet.”

“Yet.” He smirked down at me.

I rolled my eyes at him.

“That's fine, but as soon as you arrive at the castle tonight, you will meet him. He is very,” Gaviryn hesitated, choosing his next words carefully, “anxious to meet you.”

I didn't respond and he turned his back to me, walking away. He only stopped once, saying, “I'll see you tonight, princess.”

I slammed the door shut, my knees trembling beneath me.

Tonight. I left the estate tonight.

Eight hours before I was set to leave for the palace, I went to Aegiah's rooms. When her door swung open, my jaw went loose. Her eyes were lined with red and her cheeks had no color to them.

“Have you slept at all?” I asked, stepping into her room.

“No,” Aegiah admitted, pulling me close. “I'm too worried.” She offered me a small smile.

We separated and I held her shoulders tight.

“Don't worry about me. I'll be careful,” I assured her.

“I know you will. And I know that you have to do this, I just don't want you to get hurt.” She sat down on a plush lilac chaise. “I don't want you to go. I know it's so selfish, and I know that you have to. But none of that changes the fact that I'm going to miss you.”

“Trust me, Aegiah. I don't want to leave either. But I promise that I will be careful, and I will be safe. Well,” I took a deep breath, “I'll be as safe as I can be over there.”

“I'm going to miss you so much.”

“Aegiah, I'm going to miss you too. But I'll see you when this is all over. Then maybe we'll both find peace. Somehow.”