Читать книгу The psycho-analytic study of the family - J. C. Flugel - Страница 7

In all the more favourable cases of development, however, Displacement as regards the object of love it is probable that even from the first the conflict between the primitive elements of love and hate and the newly unfolding ethical tendencies results to a great extent in the displacement and gradual sublimation of the former and not merely in their repression or return to a latent state. The process of displacement here takes the form of a dissociation of the more erotic aspects of the child's affection from the loved parent—these aspects being thus set free for bestowal upon other persons. The choice of such fresh objects for the child's affection is determined in accordance with what would appear to be a general law governing the process of displacement, viz., that the new end or object, to which the psychic energy is directed, must have some associative connection with the old object which has been abandoned. For this reason, it is very frequently possible to trace some kind of resemblance between the loved parent and the new object of affection; though this resemblance may be of very various degrees or kinds. Thus, the new object of affection may bear some resemblance to the parent in one or more of the following points: physical appearance (either general or as regards some special feature), mental characteristics, circumstances of life (both these last again being either general or special), age, name, past history, occupation or family relationship. Sometimes, moreover, the resemblance may be of an opposing or negative kind, the later object of love being markedly different from, or contrasting with, the original object in some one or more of these characters. In the case of a succession of such loved objects, it is not unusual for the resemblance to the original object of affection to become gradually less pronounced, in accordance with a further general characteristic of Displacement, in virtue of which the higher sublimations (i.e., those which imply ends very different from, and of higher cultural value than, the original objects of desire) are only attained slowly and through a number of intermediate steps.

A first step of frequent occurrence and of great importance Parent Substitutes in a large number of cases is the transference of erotic love from the parent to some other member of the family, e.g., brother, sister or (usually at a somewhat later stage of development) cousin. In the first two cases the new choice of object has the additional advantage of tending to abolish the hate or jealousy which, as we saw, is apt to characterise the original attitude towards such members of the family: and this in two ways:—(1) negatively, by removing the cause of the jealousy, since, as the parent is now no longer the sole object of affection, the rival claims of brothers and sisters upon the attention of the parent are no longer felt to be objectionable; (2) positively, by investing the brother or sister with the attributes of lovableness formerly reserved for the parent.

In the same way, the diversion of the erotic tendencies from the parent of the opposite sex removes the principal cause of jealousy and hatred felt towards the parent of the same sex, so that, in the absence of other causes of hostility, this hatred—in itself, as we pointed out, originally in some respects a secondary phenomenon—may give place to the affection which, in their capacity of protectors and benefactors, tends normally to be inspired in some degree by both parents alike. But even in so far as the hate may be primary (due as a rule to frequent thwarting of the child's desires and activities or to bullying, nagging or generally unsympathetic behaviour on the part of the parent in question), it tends to undergo a considerable degree of repression or displacement on its own account, so that after a time the child no longer experiences in consciousness any violent aversion to its parent; such aversion being either confined to the Unconscious or displaced on to other objects in a manner which we shall study later on.

The fact that the first choice of loved object other than The infantile attitude in early love the parent is associatively connected with the original object of love, is shown not only in the nature of the objects selected but also to some extent in the attitude of the child or adolescent towards the objects of his love. In the loves of the young towards persons of the opposite sex, there is usually a strong element of reverence and admiration, a deep feeling of gratitude for any favours that may be received, combined with a sense of the lover's own unworthiness and inferiority; a total attitude very similar to that not unreasonably adopted towards their own parents, to whom they are indebted for the very necessities of life throughout their childhood and to whom they naturally feel themselves to be inferior in knowledge, experience and moral worth. Thus in the early loves of the young boy, the objects of his affection are apt to be regarded as queen-like or semi-divine beings—models of beauty, virtue and wisdom—to whose perfections they themselves (the lovers) can never hope to attain and of whom they must remain for ever to some extent unworthy. Similar elements constitute the most important factors in that tendency to Schwärmerei which so frequently distinguishes the early attachments of young girls[20].

The adoption of this attitude by the young in their early loves is of course often facilitated by the fact that the objects selected are older than the youthful lovers themselves. But this is not a necessary condition. Something of this attitude may indeed persist throughout the love life of the individual, since the exaggeration of the desirable qualities of the loved person, which forms a normal feature of sexual (and probably of all) love, easily brings with it a sense of the relative inferiority of the lover's own self. In the loves of a more mature age, however, this relatively childlike attitude towards the object of love is usually replaced by one in which the lover plays a more active, vigorous and self-reliant part, such as is suitable to a person of fully developed capacity and experience.

Simultaneously with this latter change there goes on a Emancipation from infantile love objects continuance of the process of liberation of the love impulse from its original object. This would seem to take place by a further use of the mechanisms of Repression and Displacement. The love as redirected to the first parent-substitutes after a time itself begins to meet with opposition from other psychic tendencies on account of the too great similarity or the too firm associative connection between the original object and its substitutes. Thus the existence of anything like erotic feeling towards brothers, sisters, or other members of the family or towards persons resembling the parents in age or appearance ceases to be tolerated and at each fresh choice of object the associative link becomes less marked, so that finally it may cease altogether to be traceable. Thus at maturity the individual should, for practical purposes, be free to direct his love towards those who show no resemblance of any kind to the first object of his dawning affection. This may be looked upon as the normal goal of the development of the love impulse in relation to its objects. Any failure to attain this goal must, it would seem, be regarded as constituting to some extent a failure or arrest of development with respect to this highly important aspect of the individual's mental growth.