Читать книгу The Sheikh's Untamed Bride - Jackie Braun - Страница 13

CHAPTER SIX

‘YOUR DAUGHTER?’ UNPREPARED for that revelation, Layla simply stared at him. ‘You have a daughter?’

‘She is six years old.’

He had a daughter.

She sank down onto the bed, her legs shaking, racking her brain for the information she had on him and discovering it to be depressingly sparse. ‘I—I didn’t know. I had no idea.’

She muttered the words to herself, examining this further piece of evidence to support her suspicion that it was possible to be intimate with someone and yet still know nothing about them.

It didn’t make any difference that she’d shared something with him she’d never shared with anyone else. He was still a stranger.

‘There are few who know, and those who do know better than to speak of it.’

His voice was flat and she looked at him blankly, shocked into silence and shaken by the enormity of it.

‘Why don’t people speak of it? Why would you hide the fact that you have a child?’

‘I lost my father. I lost my wife—’ He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t need to.

Layla knew her face matched the colour of his.

‘No.’ She shook her head in instinctive denial of that hypothesis. ‘That wouldn’t have happened.’

‘How can you be sure?’ His tone was raw. ‘You insist on having evidence for everything—show me the evidence that my daughter would have been safe. Did your father live by a code of honour? Did he have boundaries beyond which he wouldn’t go? If so, then please enlighten me, because I have seen nothing like that in my dealings with him.’

The shame of it covered her like a filthy, dark sludge. She wanted to dive into the oasis and scrub her skin clean. ‘I can’t show you evidence. I understand why you kept your daughter’s existence a secret. But when I suggested marriage I would have thought—’

‘What would you have thought? That I would have confided in you? You arrived in the desert out of nowhere. I married you because I saw the sense in what you proposed but let’s not pretend that this marriage is a union of trust.’

His words shook her because in her head she’d started to spin a different scenario. When she looked at him all she could see was the burning heat in his eyes and all she could think of was his body, hard and hot against hers. Out of bed they were strangers but in bed? In bed they were as close as it was possible for two people to be and what they did in bed had started to dominate her brain. The craving inside her had intensified to the point that she found herself wishing the daylight hours away because at night there was a chance they’d be together. She found herself hoping desperately for the dark because it was only in the dark that he came to her. Swept away by the darkness and the wildness of the passion she’d started to imagine that this was real but now she realised she’d been deluding herself.

‘That is all true, but I am your wife now and that also makes me—’

‘Do not say the words.’ His voice was thickened with emotion. ‘Do not even think of yourself as my daughter’s mother.’

The words slid under her ribs like a blade.

She tried to ignore the sharp pain that made it difficult to breathe. Used logic to remind herself that his response was understandable in the circumstances.

The fact that he would kiss her, touch her, didn’t mean he trusted her with his daughter.

And she really couldn’t blame him for that, could she?

Right now he was the powerful protector, ready to shield his daughter from any threat, and it was clear he considered that threat to be her.

Feeling his struggle to suppress the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him, Layla groped for the best way to handle the situation. ‘At least tell me her name.’

‘Her name is Zahra.’

‘That’s a pretty name. Does she know you have married me?’

‘No.’ He was brutally frank. Everything about him was designed to repel her gentle attempts to ease closer. ‘There is no easy way to tell a child I have married the daughter of the man responsible for the death of her mother.’

The knife in her ribs twisted. ‘Had I known you had a daughter I never would have suggested this marriage. I had no idea there was a child involved. It changes everything.’

‘It changes nothing. This marriage was never personal so what difference would it have made?’

‘I would not have sacrificed your daughter’s happiness for—’

‘For the future of Tazkhan? And what about your sister’s safety? What about your own marriage to Hassan? Because that’s why you came to me, isn’t it? You wanted my protection.’

‘Yes, that’s all true. I was honest about that right from the start. But I didn’t want those things at the expense of a little girl’s happiness. A little girl who has already suffered a major trauma in her life.’ Layla was shaking so badly she wasn’t sure her legs would hold her. ‘There is no way I would have foisted myself on her as a stranger. At the very least I would have suggested I take time to get to know her. To gain her trust.’

‘That would have created a delay we could not afford, and this was never about building a relationship. And you are assuming you would have gained her trust.’

‘I would certainly have worked hard to do that. I have experience with children. Give me the opportunity and I will prove it to you.’

The shutters came down on those eyes. ‘No. We will wait and see if the night terrors settle and then re-evaluate.’

‘Perhaps they would settle if she had someone she could bond with. Someone she is close to.’

He turned slowly, his eyes like ice. ‘My relationship with my daughter is very close.’

‘Yes, I can see that.’ She thought about the way he’d soothed the child. About the anxiety and love on his face and the patience he’d shown. It had warmed her because she’d never seen a man like that with a child. ‘But you’re away a great deal. You have your business interests—’

‘That is an inevitable part of life. When I can, I take her with me, and when I can’t I make sure I return here as quickly I can.’

‘But when you are away who looks after her?’

He didn’t answer immediately. ‘She is with Nadia, who loves her very much.’

Nadia?

Layla felt as if she were walking on eggshells. This wasn’t the time to point out that Nadia had seemed out of her depth at the moment of crisis. ‘How have you kept Zahra’s existence a secret?’

‘I have the support of many people.’

‘But I don’t.’

He glanced at her with a frown. ‘What does that mean?’

‘No one speaks to me. This marriage has not been welcomed by the people who love you.’ Suddenly she felt overwhelmed by it all. By the distance that couldn’t be closed by physical intimacy alone. ‘How can this possibly work even on the most basic level? If you don’t trust me, why would they?’

‘Because this union was never about trust.’ He towered over her, powerful and imposing. ‘Most of them understand why we did this. They know it is the right thing.’

But not all of them.

Layla thought about the hatred she sensed in Nadia and wondered again if the cause of it didn’t go deeper than dismay at seeing the Sheikh marry the daughter of his enemy.

‘So what happens now? You have a daughter. Are you saying you don’t want me to meet her?’

‘For the time being, no. She is already having night terrors. I don’t want to risk making those worse by introducing you to her.’

His belief that she might make it worse hurt more than she would have thought possible, but how could she, of all people, blame a man for wanting to protect his child?

She’d never had that and she felt the loss of it keenly.

‘Of course, if that is what you prefer.’ Layla’s jaw was stiff, her thoughts a mess of pain as she thought what she would have given to have a father who fought so fiercely to protect her from harm. ‘But I don’t think it’s the right decision.’

‘You think you know better than me what is right for my child?’

‘No, what I think is that you don’t know me at all. You married me with a set of preconceived ideas of who I am, and I don’t blame you for that, but we’re married now and for this to work you have to start seeing me. The real me. I may not be able to swim or ride a horse, but I am good with children. I think if we are to become a family we need to start somewhere.’

‘We have started somewhere.’

His gaze shifted to the rumpled sheets and then back to her and she felt a tiny shiver run through her. Right now he was distant and intimidating but she knew it wasn’t fear that made her knees weak. Looking into those brooding black eyes, gazing at the dangerous curve of his sensual mouth, all she could think of was how it felt to have those lips on her body, how it felt when he filled her, possessed her, drove her mindless. Her skin still burned from his touch. Her head was dizzy with the memory of how he made her feel and she slid her fingers into her hair and shook her head in frustration.

‘A relationship cannot just be about sex.’

His eyes held hers, hard and unsympathetic. ‘It has to be, because I can give you nothing else.’

* * *

In the morning he was gone again.

If she’d thought their shared confidences would have moved their relationship forward, she was disappointed.

And this time when she heard children laughing she knew one of the voices belonged to his daughter.

It felt unnatural not to approach her and build a relationship, but he’d made his wishes clear on that matter so Layla sat in the shade on a smooth rock by the oasis and forced herself not to initiate contact with the little girl. And she seemed happy enough, playing with her friends, laughing as a child should laugh. Laughing without fear that the sound might draw unwanted attention.

The child laughed until darkness fell over the desert.

And then the screams started again.

Instinct drove Layla from her bed. Heart pounding, she came to a screeching halt outside the entrance to the tent.

He didn’t want her near his daughter, did he?

Unless she wanted to create a rift between them she had to respect that decision.

Torn, she stood there, waiting for the child’s screams to settle, telling herself that Nadia was there and would comfort the girl.

The screams grew louder and more desperate.

Sweat beaded on Layla’s forehead. Just listening to it stressed her so badly her heart raced. The sound reminded her so much of Yasmin in the early days, and to stand there and do nothing demanded a self-control and thick skin Layla didn’t possess.

Pressing her palm to her forehead, she breathed deeply and tried to calm herself. She told herself it wasn’t her concern, that if she suddenly appeared in the tent it would probably just frighten the child even more. But none of that reasoning did anything to ease her urge to do something.

Why didn’t someone else go to her? Where was Nadia?

Her will-power stretched taut, she lasted another five seconds before giving in. If Raz never spoke to her again, so be it. He hardly spoke to her anyway so it wouldn’t be that much of a loss.

As she pushed aside the flap she expected to see Nadia, but the tent was empty apart from the little girl who sat alone in the enormous bed, shuddering and screaming at some imaginary terror. At her feet lay the two Saluki, whimpering and looking at the child in alarm and confusion, as if they sensed a threat but couldn’t identify it.

Mouth dry, Layla stared at the dogs. Nothing but a screaming child could have propelled her forward.

Her heart was kicking at her ribcage—not just because to get to the child meant stepping over fur and teeth, but because the sound of the screaming brought back so many memories of Yasmin, terrified and clinging to her.

She threw one last glance over her shoulder, in case there was someone else who could do this, but there was no sign of Nadia or the bodyguards who were supposed to be in attendance.

Trying to look confident, she stepped over the Saluki as gracefully as a ballerina, braced to feel those sharp teeth close around her ankle.

The dog closest to the bed growled, a menacing rumble low in its throat, but it didn’t move from its position.

Taking that as a good sign, Layla crawled onto the bed and snuggled down with the child, stroking her back and talking to her, hoping desperately that the tone of her voice would do the trick and the child wouldn’t wake and realize that the comfort came from a stranger.

‘There, you’re safe now—and you need to go back to sleep.’ She talked nonsense, and then decided a story might help. ‘Once upon a time...’ She told the same stories she’d told her sister at the same age, remembered them word for word, and the familiarity of the ritual soothed her as well as the child. She talked quietly until the little girl’s breathing suggested she was deeply asleep while all the time the two Saluki lay by the bed, heads on paws, watching her.

Afraid that if she moved she’d wake the child, Layla stayed still, her fingers tangled in the dark curls that belonged to Raz Al Zahki’s daughter. Looking down at that sweet, vulnerable face, now smeared with tears, she felt her heart twist.

What had she been through?

What had she suffered?

She’d stay just a while. Until she was sure the girl was asleep.

Then she’d return to her bed and he wouldn’t be any the wiser.

* * *

The red ball of the dawn sun was rising up behind the mountainous dunes when Raz rode back into the camp two days later. His eyes were gritty from lack of sleep, his head pounding following long days spent in meetings with senior tribal members.

He needed sleep, but nowhere near as much as he needed a swim.

It was still early and everything was quiet and still. No one was stirring.

Having handed over his stallion to one of the waiting grooms, he made straight towards the tent where his daughter slept, noticing with a frown that there was no sign of the guard.

Fear for his daughter fuelled his stride.

Entering quietly, he stood for a moment on the threshold, his eyes adjusting to the dim light, relieved to see the dogs sprawled protectively at the foot of the bed.

The familiar sight of the lump in the bed brought relief rushing down on him—and then he realised that the lump was bigger than usual.

Stepping closer, he saw that there in the bed, with her arms wrapped around his daughter, was Layla.

Shock and surprise were replaced by anger, and then another, darker emotion he didn’t dare examine too closely.

The dogs sensed the change in his mood and growled, and those growls woke the child. Her expression brightened as she saw her father and she sat up sleepily, the movement waking Layla.

Her eyes opened and her gaze met his, blank at first and then alight with consternation.

Sitting up, she clutched at the sheet. ‘We weren’t expecting you so early.’

‘Evidently.’ His tone was silky soft and he saw the colour return to her cheeks as she met his hostile gaze.

‘I’m pleased you’re early.’ Zahra slid out of the bed, paused to hug and kiss the dog closest to her, and ran across to him, arms outstretched. ‘Has Shakira had her foal?’

‘Not yet.’ Raz scooped her into his arms. Her hair brushed against his jaw and he felt his insides knot with love. It was a love that overwhelmed every emotion he’d ever felt. A love that made a strong man vulnerable. And he felt that vulnerability now as he held her and felt those slender arms tighten around his neck.

‘When can we go and see her?’

‘Soon.’ He hugged her protectively, his eyes still on the woman in the bed. ‘Zahra, I want you to play with your toys for a minute while I speak to Layla.’

‘Can’t she stay?’ Zahra was openly disappointed. ‘She hasn’t finished the end of the story. We both fell asleep.’

‘I can finish it later.’ Without meeting his eyes, Layla slid out of the bed.

He saw her hesitate before allowing her feet to touch the ground and saw her hold her breath as she stepped carefully over the dog blocking her path, as if doing so required nerves of steel.

Oblivious to the atmosphere, Zahra smiled at her. ‘When you’ve finished talking, can we play in the sand like yesterday?’

The news that she’d been spending her days with his daughter was the final straw. ‘No, you cannot, because we are going riding.’

‘Together?’

‘Together.’ Touched by her expression of delight, he put her down gently. ‘Play with Isis and Horus for a moment.’

She needed no encouragement to play with the dogs, and they in turn fussed around the child, proving themselves better guards than the people he’d paid to stand over her and keep watch in his absence.

Keeping his anger in check, he left the tent, noticing that one of the guards assigned to watch over his daughter was now standing outside, having no doubt taken a badly timed bathroom break.

Deciding to deal with him later, Raz followed Layla to the edge of the oasis, noticing that she stopped a safe distance from the water’s edge.

‘You deliberately went against my orders.’

‘Yes, I did.’

She turned to face him, her expression calm. She made no excuses. Nor did she apologise and that surprised him.

‘I thought I’d made my wishes clear on this matter.’

‘Would you rather I’d left your daughter to scream, Your Highness?’

The news that Zahra had been screaming again sent ice down the rigid length of his spine. ‘If she was screaming then it would have been better for someone familiar to comfort her. That was your advice.’

‘And I stand by it. But there was no one familiar. She was alone.’

‘My daughter is never alone. She is under twenty-four-hour guard and Nadia is with her at all times.’ Even as he said it he remembered that the guard had not been present when he’d arrived, and her next words confirmed that.

‘She was alone last night. And the night before. And the night before that. There was no guard and there was no Nadia.’ She seemed more annoyed than intimidated. ‘You weren’t here. I made the decision I thought was best, Your Highness.’

‘My name is Raz,’ he said tightly. ‘I think we are now sufficiently well acquainted for you to use it.’

‘Evidently not, since you don’t see me as fit company for your daughter.’

Raz breathed deeply. ‘Nadia is supposed to stay with her at night.’

‘Then no doubt that is something you will wish to explore with her.’

Listening to that calm appraisal, Raz realised just how much he’d underestimated her. He’d mistaken silence for a lack of opinion, and shyness for a lack of forcefulness, but it seemed his new wife had a layer of steel, visible only if someone pressed hard enough. On this she wasn’t budging.

‘Nadia would not have left her alone.’

‘Are you accusing me of lying?’

‘Perhaps it was a simple misunderstanding. Perhaps she went to fetch Zahra a drink or something to eat.’

‘There was no sign of her at any point during the night, nor of the guard. I understand that as her nanny you believe Nadia to be the best person to care for her, but I’m providing you with evidence that she left the child alone. Why would you doubt me?’

‘Because Nadia isn’t Zahra’s nanny. She is her aunt.’ That confession was met by a tense silence.

For a moment she said nothing and simply stared at him. Then her mouth moved and finally words emerged.

‘Her aunt?’

Raz stayed perfectly still. ‘Nadia is my late wife’s sister.’

‘S-sister?’ She stammered the word, visibly shocked. Again she said nothing, and then she shook her head briefly. ‘And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning? You let me turn up here in my wedding dress and you didn’t even warn her or tell me who she was?’

‘When would I have had the opportunity to warn her? We were married only hours after you appeared unannounced at my desert camp. Then we arrived here and she came out of the tent before I had a chance to speak to her privately.’

‘It is no wonder she can barely look at me.’ Her words were barely audible. ‘It explains so much.’

‘It does not explain why she would leave Zahra unattended.’

‘Maybe it does. Maybe...’ She frowned slightly and then stared at the still surface of the oasis. ‘You should have told me. There is so much you should have told me.’

‘Why would I tell you?’

‘You really have to ask me that?’ Her head was turned towards him, pain and accusation in her eyes. ‘Because keeping secrets is doing nothing but harm. I understand that this is hard for you, I understand that you have to make love to me in the dark because touching me makes you think of your wife and that makes you feel guilty, and I understand that you don’t want to be here during the day because it’s like a slap every time you look at me. I understand that, given the way you feel about my family, you are reluctant to trust me with your child. I don’t blame you for that. But it wasn’t Nadia who comforted Zahra in the night, Your Highness. It wasn’t Nadia who read to her and played with her. For the past two days it hasn’t been Nadia who has cared for your daughter. It has been me.’

Raz was stunned into silence by her interpretation of the facts, but before he could respond she took a step closer to him.

‘Do you think I’m not a caring person? Is that what you think?’ Her voice vibrated with tension. ‘Do you think I would have crossed a desert I didn’t know, on a horse I had no idea how to ride, to find a man who hates me, if I weren’t a caring person? Just in case the facts don’t speak for themselves, let me tell you I’m a very caring person—and if you looked at the facts you’d be able to see that. And, yes, I was thinking of my sister and my future, but I also care about the people of Tazkhan. And before you dismiss that, based only on my bloodline, let me remind you that we can choose many things in life, but whom we are related to isn’t one of them. I chose to go to your daughter in the night because I couldn’t sit there and listen to her distress. And I chose to step over those horrible, scary dogs in order to comfort her. So never imply I’m not trustworthy enough to care for you daughter.’

The stillness of the baking desert heat intensified the silence.

Raz stood still, her words stinging as they sank into his flesh. ‘Why do you find the dogs scary?’

‘After everything I just said to you, that is the question you choose to ask?’ She gave a choked laugh—a sound loaded with disbelief—and he frowned.

‘Layla—’

‘No. Enough.’ Her voice was shaky as she backed away from him. ‘This conversation is going nowhere. You don’t want to come anywhere near me and you can’t bear it when I come anywhere near you, so just leave me alone.’