Читать книгу Teach Me Tonight - Jacquelin Thomas - Страница 11

Tamara wanted to share her good news with someone, so she called Kyra later that evening. “Hey, girl…you won’t believe where I’m going this weekend,” she said when her friend answered the phone.

“Where?” Kyra questioned.

“Los Angeles,” she announced. “I’m covering Justice Kane’s album release party. Luster magazine wants me to do a story on him. Can you believe it?”

“That’s great,” Kyra responded with excitement. “Tamara, this is the kind of story you’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Hey, isn’t Justice Kane with Micah’s record company?”

“That’s why I’m so excited,” Tamara told Kyra. “I’m hoping to reconnect with him. I really miss our friendship.”

“We used to have some good times back in the day. I used to try and get you to party with us, but you wanted to stay home and read. The only time we could get you out was when Micah asked you. Why didn’t you two ever get together?” Kyra inquired. “I know you had feelings for him back then.”

“Micah was my tutor and my friend,” Tamara stated. “That’s really all it was. I had too many issues for anything more.”

“So you didn’t have any feelings for him?”

“I didn’t say that,” Tamara answered. “Kyra, I was crazy about Micah, but the timing was all off and things just never worked out. You know how it goes.”

“I always felt that something was bothering you,” Kyra said. “It was just a feeling though because you were always walking around with a smile and you seemed really happy…still, I felt there was something.”

Tamara considered Kyra one of her best friends, and they were close, spent time together often, but there were things from her past that she never shared with anyone—including her soror.

She had never told Kyra what happened between her and Micah on graduation night and decided against mentioning it now. Deep down, she didn’t want anyone to know just how gullible she’d been back then.

“So what about now?”

“Kyra, he’s seeing someone,” Tamara responded. “His relationship with Sunni has been plastered all over the tabloids and People magazine.” She tried to sound as neutral as possible.

“Tamara, you know that you can’t believe everything you read in the tabloids. Micah says that he and that model are nothing but friends. At least that’s what he told Kevin.”

Kyra’s words delighted Tamara. She silently prayed that her friend was right because the thought of Micah being involved in a serious relationship with another woman bothered her to the core.

“Whatever their relationship, I hope she doesn’t trip if Micah and I grab a few minutes to sit down and talk when I get to Los Angeles,” Tamara said.

“Tell him that I said hello when you see Micah,” Kyra responded. “I’m so proud of that boy. He came from the Greenwood projects, and look at him now. He left us back here in Atlanta and really made a success of his life. Now all he needs is the right woman to share it with.”

Tamara had to hide her inner feelings as a sense of inadequacy swept over her. She thought about Kyra’s words and wondered if after all this time had passed if she had anything to offer Micah.

Like everyone else, Tamara had her own share of past pain and trauma but she had worked past the betrayal of trust, discovered her wholeness, the experience shaping her in a way that no other has.

She learned early on that along with happiness, life brought pain. Her grandmother had taught Tamara that in order to heal, she had to forgive and that forgiveness is essential as a means of personal transformation.

Tamara still had seeds of unforgiveness rooted in her. She desired forgiveness, but until she could forgive she would never be completely free.

She and Kyra stayed on the phone for almost an hour, talking about their college days and the upcoming Pi Beta Gamma fundraiser.

After promising to get together soon, Tamara ended the call, then stood up and walked over to the window to stare out at the beautiful Atlanta skyline.

“I miss you so much, Micah,” she whispered.

Amused, Micah hung up the telephone, but not before Samantha, the editor of Luster magazine, thanked him for the fifth or sixth time during their conversation.

He took a deep breath and tried to relax now that the initial part of his plan had succeeded.

He and Tamara would finally come face-to-face again after ten years. Micah wasn’t sure how he would feel about seeing her again, so he decided that this meeting would have to happen in a place he could control. It would give him the upper hand.

Micah called and arranged to have Tamara attend the party at the Vanguard Club in Beverly Hills. However, she would have to deal with him first before he allowed her access to Justice Kane.

He wanted a glimpse of the woman Tamara had become, but he also wanted to settle an old score.

His heart bore a permanent scar seared by her rejection. The fact that Micah still harbored deep feelings for Tamara only fueled his anger more. He struggled with loving her and knowing that she thought he wasn’t good enough for her.

A few days ago, he typed in her name while online out of curiosity and found a photo of her on Luster magazine’s Web site. That’s when he came up with the idea for the interview and a way to get back at her.

Tamara looked much younger than her thirty-two years and from the looks of it, wore her shoulder-length hair natural and without chemicals, the warm brown color complimenting her light chocolate complexion and hazel-green eyes.

She’s still beautiful, he thought to himself.

Micah forced himself to remember the way she had treated him. A computer science major in college, he was the quiet, shy geek who tutored Tamara in math during her freshman year—their friendship birthed out of the tutoring sessions.

He had always thought Tamara was sweet, caring and felt extremely comfortable around her. Micah had even believed that she thought of him as more than a tutor. During their time in college, Micah never once saw signs of Tamara being a snob or elitist—she had always been down-to-earth.

His mouth tightened as he thought about graduation night—the night that Micah made the mistake of confessing his feelings for her. He had even planned to propose marriage; however, he never got that far.

Tamara rejected Micah, telling him directly that she would never date anyone like him. She didn’t need him to tutor her anymore. She had landed a job with the Atlanta Daily Journal so she had no more use for him.

It was then that Micah realized he did not know her as well as he had initially thought. He never knew she held even the tiniest interest in writing. Micah knew that she kept a journal, but to him that did not necessarily mean she wanted to be a writer.

It had come as a complete surprise when Tamara announced she was going to work as an entry-level journalist with the newspaper. Her degree was in business and not journalism.

If they had been as close as Micah thought they were, why would she keep her love for writing a secret? What else had she been keeping from him?

Micah Ross was fine.

Tamara laid a back issue of Ebony with Micah gracing the cover down on the chair beside her.

She kept that issue on her coffee table since its release two years ago.

Micah pretty much looked as he did back in college except that he no longer wore those black-framed glasses that Tamara used to think were so sexy on him.

His skin was the color of dark chocolate, smooth and free of facial hair. Those dark brown eyes of his were so intense that she believed they could pierce through stone.

Her heart raced at the prospect of seeing him again.

“I’ve got to talk to you,” she whispered to his likeness on the magazine. “Micah, I feel bad about the things I said to you on graduation night. I really hope you’ll give me a chance to apologize and explain why I reacted that way.”

I never should have listened to those other boys. I realize that now.

The telephone rang.

Tamara checked the caller ID before answering. “Hello, Mama.”

“Sweetie, are you busy right now?”

“No, what’s up?”

“I’m here at Lexington’s Restaurant. Since it’s right down the street from your neighborhood, why don’t you come have dinner with me?”

“Give me ten minutes,” Tamara told her. “I’ll be there.”

“See you then,” Jillian stated.

Tamara went into her bathroom to freshen up. She looked down at her jeans and decided on impulse to change clothes. Her mother would be dressed up—Jillian was always dressed in designer suits and expensive shoes.

I’ve never seen my mother in a pair of jeans or a sweat suit, she thought with amusement. Dressing down for Jillian meant a pair of khakis or linen pants.

Tamara changed into a black linen sundress, silver sandals and accessories. She knew that her mother would approve, as the dress was a gift from her.

She arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes later.

Her mother was already seated. Tamara almost turned around and left when she realized that her mother was not alone.

I should have known she was up to something.

Jillian didn’t care much for Lexington’s but came here because she knew that Tamara was less likely to refuse her since it was only a couple blocks away from her apartment.

“Hello, Mama.” The greeting was forced at best.

Tamara was furious with her mother for hijacking her into a blind date.

“Dear, I want you to meet Anthony. His mother and I went to high school together. He just moved to Atlanta, and I thought you two should meet. Anthony, this is my daughter Tamara.”

She plastered on a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Anthony.”

Tamara sent her mother a sharp look as she took a seat.

“So, Anthony, what brings you to Atlanta?” she asked.

“I’ll be working at Fitzgerald & Johnson Industries as lead counsel,” he said. “Your mother tells me that you write for Luster magazine.”

“I do,” she confirmed.

Tamara was struggling to keep her temper in check. Why couldn’t Jillian just mind her own business? She didn’t need her mother’s help in getting a man.

She managed to enjoy herself while they ate. Anthony had a wonderful sense of humor, and he could hold an intelligent conversation on several subjects. He was definitely an improvement over the last one her mother had tried to set Tamara up with.

Anthony asked for her number.

Feeling pressured, Tamara gave it to him. If she hadn’t, her mother would have given it to him anyway.

Jillian excused herself to go to the ladies’ room.

She was about to follow her, but Anthony stopped her.

“Tamara, look, it’s no pressure. Let’s just get through this dinner to appease our mothers.”

She gave him the first genuine smile of the evening. “You have one of those interfering mothers, too?”

Anthony nodded. “I’m in a relationship, but she doesn’t think Rochelle is the woman for me. I know what I want and that is Rochelle. However, I hope that the three of us can get together sometime. Maybe we can all become friends.”

“I’d like that, Anthony.”

He paid the bill, then told Jillian that he had to leave.

“Tamara, I know that you’re upset,” she said when Anthony walked out of the restaurant. “But I saw the way you two were interacting.” She broke into a smile. “Admit it. Don’t you like him just a little bit?”

“Yeah, I do,” Tamara responded. “Actually I like him a lot. In fact, I think he’s the man for me, Mama.” She gazed into her mother’s hazel-green eyes and said, “Anthony has a girlfriend. We’re going to have a threesome when I get back from Los Angeles.”

“WHAT?”

She burst into laughter at the look of horror on her mother’s face.

Jillian gasped and couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Tamara reached over and took her hand. “Mama, I’m kidding.”

Her mother patted her face with the napkin. “I can’t believe you’d say something like that.”

“It’s what you deserved,” Tamara countered. “Mama, please stop trying to set me up on blind dates. Don’t you think I’m capable of finding my own man?”

Jillian’s lips puckered in silence.

Tamara chuckled. “Good point. I haven’t done a great job in that department, either.”

“I just want to see you happily married with a family.”

“Then let it happen naturally, Mama.”

Jillian gave a stiff nod. “Now what is this about you going to Los Angeles?”

She told her mother about the assignment and seeing Micah again.

“It sounds promising,” Jillian stated. “I can’t wait to hear all about the trip.”

Tamara pushed away from the table and rose to her feet. “There you go again. Mama, I’ll see you later.”

Jillian followed her out of the restaurant.

“Mama, why don’t you look for a man for you?” Tamara suggested. “You should try to find someone to spend the rest of your life with instead of trying to shape my future.”

A shadow of sadness colored Jillian’s expression. “I don’t think I can ever trust another man. Not after…” Her voice died.

Tamara hugged her mother. “I had a great time tonight but you are forbidden to arrange any more blind dates. You’re making me feel insecure.”

Jillian placed a hand to her face. “Oh, nooo…”

“I’m kidding, Mama,” Tamara uttered with a laugh. “I need to get home and pack.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Mama.”

Before she headed home, Tamara waited for Jillian to get into her car and leave the restaurant parking lot.

Tamara rehearsed exactly what she would say repeatedly in her head for the rest of the evening and again the next morning as she prepared to leave for the airport.

Tamara flew first class from Atlanta to Los Angeles, both anxious and excited about seeing Micah again.

She hoped that he would be the one picking her up at the airport so that he could clear the air before meeting his performer. It would help the interview along if there was no tension between them.

Maybe I’m making too much of this. Micah’s not the type of man who would hold a grudge.

To quell her nervousness, Tamara documented her thoughts.

August 28th

At this very moment, I am on a plane en route to Los Angeles to interview one of Micah’s performers. I have mixed feelings about this little reunion because of what happened before we graduated college. Hopefully, Micah will put the past behind us and give me a chance to explain.

I have never forgotten that look of absolute hurt in his eyes. I have never been filled with such guilt as I experienced then. I’m not really sure an apology is enough to undo the hurt.

What if I’ve overanalyzed that moment? What if what I thought was hurt was actually something else?

I guess this is why Micah and I need to have a conversation. I miss him and deeply wish to repair our friendship.

I just hope that it isn’t too late to make amends.

Most girls had considered Micah a nerd back in the day—but not Tamara.

Sexy Chocolate.

That’s what she used to call Micah behind his back. He stood six-three, and even with glasses, the man looked good.

She remembered how the basketball coach wanted Micah to play for the school but he refused. Instead, he preferred to focus on his academics and his dedication paid off.

Micah utilized his talent and dual degrees in business and computer science to build his empire, Ross Red. She was proud of him and his accomplishments and hoped for the chance to tell him so.

Things ended so abruptly that night. Tamara didn’t know if they could ever truly mend the rift in their relationship, but she was willing to try. Micah’s friendship meant the world to her.

She settled back against her seat and closed her eyes. A thread of apprehension snaked through her body when the pilot announced they would be landing in twenty minutes.

I can do this.

Tamara repeated this over and over in her mind, trying to convince herself. Not that it was working. She was extremely nervous at the thought of seeing Micah again.

She assumed that he would be the one meeting her plane, and once they got over the awkward moments, they could talk and Tamara could tell him everything.

Thirty-five minutes later, she stepped off the plane and made her way through the Los Angeles International Airport. Tamara was disappointed when she didn’t see Micah at the gate.

Maybe he was waiting for her in the baggage-claim area.

Instead, she found a man in a dark suit holding up a sign with her name on it. She walked up to him and identified herself. “Hi, I’m Tamara Hodges.”

“I hope you had a comfortable flight,” he said. “If you give me your ticket, I’ll retrieve your luggage for you, Ms. Hodges.”

“Thanks,” she murmured. “It’s red. There are two bags. One large and a medium.”

Tamara stood near the exit doors as she waited for her driver to bring her luggage.

He navigated to Tamara and led her outside to the car.

According to her itinerary, she was booked at the Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles. While en route, Tamara checked her voice mail and returned two missed phone calls. She had hoped to find a message from Micah but it was to no avail.

He was a busy man—she knew that, but Tamara really thought that since he had given the interview his blessing he was ready to reconnect with her.

Now she wasn’t so sure.

Micah positioned himself in the lobby area of the hotel where a suite had been reserved for Tamara. He wanted to catch a glimpse of the woman who had broken his heart.

He checked his watch.

She should be arriving at any moment.

He sensed her presence before she actually walked through the doors and up to the lobby.

Tamara was still slender with curves in all the right places, Micah noted as he watched her check into the hotel.

He raised his newspaper to shield his face when she turned to glance around the lobby.

The way she kept looking around, Micah wondered if she was looking for him.

Probably, but it didn’t matter.

Micah determined that Tamara would not see him until he was ready for a face-to-face with her. The way his heart was racing and his eyes caressing her body—it was still too soon. He needed more time to rein in his emotions.

From outward appearances, Tamara looked fragile but Micah knew that she possessed a quiet strength—a quality that had drawn him to her all those years ago.

He watched as Tamara strolled over to the elevators and waited. Her eyes traveled the luxury surroundings once more before stepping inside.

Micah waited until the doors closed before rising to his feet and taking his leave.

His cell phone rang.

It was his secretary, Bette, informing him that his guest had arrived safely and was at the hotel. She also reminded him of his meeting with the art director that was scheduled in an hour.

“Thank you, Bette. I’m on my way back to the office now.” Micah got up, strode through the glass revolving doors and handed the valet his ticket.

The love of his life was here in Los Angeles, and he was still avoiding her. He had a wall erected around his heart, but Tamara—was a trigger for him, which is why Micah purposed not to see her until he was in control of his emotions.

Micah stood outside, waiting for his car to arrive. The valet attendant pulled the car in front of him and got out. Micah tipped him and strode around to the driver side.

He experienced a strange sensation, which caused the hair on the back of his neck to stand up.

Micah turned around.

Tamara was standing inside the lobby, looking at him through the glass wall, her expression one of complete shock.

His emotions unsettled, Micah pretended he did not recognize her, stepped into his car and quickly drove away. It had been a mistake coming here, he decided.

Micah knew that he and Tamara would come face-to-face, and when they did it would be on his terms. Micah vowed to make her pay for the pain she caused him all those years ago.

He had done nothing but try to be a good friend to Tamara, but the way she turned on him graduation night proved that their relationship had been one-sided in reality. Micah tried to forget about her over the years, but his heart would not let him.

As much as I want to hate Tamara, I can’t. I am still in love with a woman who believes I’ll never be good enough for her.

In his college days, Micah had been more of a geek and was not the kind of boy most girls usually went for, but his job as a tutor placed him in a circle of people he wouldn’t otherwise hang with. Out of those relationships, friendships formed.

He thought Tamara was different from any other girl he had ever known. She was on the quiet side, kept to herself most of the time when she wasn’t with her sorority sisters. On the weekends, she liked visiting her grandmother—he would go with her from time to time.

Micah had been there to comfort Tamara when the woman died. He didn’t remember exactly the moment he fell in love with her, but when he landed the job with a software company in Chicago and was due to leave the week following graduation, Micah didn’t want to leave Tamara without letting her know how he felt.

That was indubitably the biggest mistake of his life because she crushed him with her rejection. Tamara had tried to contact him a few days later, but Micah was hurt and preparing to relocate to Chicago.