Читать книгу DISHONOUR - Jacqui Rose - Страница 14

Tasha sat and waited. She’d been waiting now for several hours, though it could’ve been days or even weeks, maybe even years. Each second she waited seemed like a lifetime. Waiting for the doctors to tell her if Ray-Ray, her son, her baby, was alive.

Had it really only been last night when she’d got the call from her next-door neighbour? Tasha had expected to hear there’d been a parcel delivered or the alarm of her house wouldn’t stop. She wouldn’t have even minded a call telling her the kids from the local school had been trying to scale her large gated walled house. But this? To hear her house was on fire with her son inside? That call she’d never wanted to get.

With her head in her hands, Tasha sat on the uncomfortable red plastic seat in the long corridor, staring down at the floor. Hearing, but not seeing the hospital staff and visitors walking by. The strong smell of disinfectant, though overpowering, was slightly comforting. Sterile and sanitary. Completely opposite to how she felt.

What had she been doing when Ray-Ray was screaming for help? When he was trapped by the fire and overwhelmed by the smoke? She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut but it didn’t take away the images, it only stopped the tears pouring out onto the floor. Nothing could take away her guilt. Even if Ray-Ray pulled through, she would know what she had been doing. Simply put, she’d been in bed with another man.

‘Tash!’

The sound of his voice made her look up. It was Freddie. She stood bolt up and stared hard at him. She hadn’t seen him for over a month but he still looked the same. Actually, he hadn’t changed much over the years. He wasn’t typical of a man of his age. At fifty-two there was no sign of a middle-age spread creeping up. No receding hairline, no lined face, only a body which a twenty-year-old man would envy. Her husband had had it all. The looks, the money, the gift of the gab, and most of all, the fear factor, but now he was paying a high price for being Freddie Thompson.

Tasha could feel herself turning red. She knew Freddie couldn’t read her thoughts, but it didn’t stop her feeling like he could. It was as if it was written all over her; as if Freddie could see the guilt on her face.

When she’d got the call, she’d pulled on her clothes and been driven straight to the hospital. No time to check to see if her usually immaculate hair was in place. No time to check to make sure there were no creases in her clothes. And if Freddie looked closely, he would know. The telltale signs were all there.

‘All right babe.’ It was all she could manage to say. She didn’t trust herself to say any more. She was trying to keep her voice steady. Hoping Freddie would think her nervousness and her appearance was all down to what had happened to Ray-Ray.

She’d missed the last prison visit and she knew Freddie had been pissed off. He’d sent one of his men round to see her, which she thought he might. Nothing had been said apart from, ‘Freddie was worried you weren’t well; wants to make sure that there isn’t a problem.’

But she knew it hadn’t been a bedside visit, but a little warning to her. Letting her know no matter where she was, no matter what she did, he would be there, right behind her. She belonged to him.

Freddie held her stare and it was only then Tasha became aware of the two screws on either side of him, handcuffed to him. They stood uncomfortably on either side. Both tall and lanky and nondescript, they could almost be mistaken for brothers.

They looked hot in their ill-fitting jackets and matching nylon trousers, unsuitable for the July heat. But more than that, they looked nervous being locked on the arm of the notorious villain, Freddie Thompson.

Tasha didn’t bother to acknowledge them. She hated screws nearly as much as she hated the police. She’d come across enough of them in her time when she’d visited friends and relatives in prison to know the majority of them were trumped up little bullies who would, if they had the guts, give Freddie a seeing to.

Freddie watched his wife. He hadn’t seen her for a while after she’d cancelled the last prison visit. It was good to see her, especially after a sweltering two hundred mile ride in the prison van, stuck listening to the two muppets who called themselves prison officers brag about their latest bit of pussy.

All he wanted to know was how Ray-Ray was doing. Nobody had told him anything. The prison officers had only smirked at him when he’d fought back the tears on the journey, wanting an update and asking if his son was still alive. Tonight though it’d be him who was smirking, after he’d put in a call to one of his men to pay them a little visit. To show them just what happened when they tried to make a fool out of him.

Tasha’s face was drawn and tired, but she still looked as beautiful as the young woman he’d fallen for all those years ago. Not that he’d tell her. He had a reputation to hold onto, even with his wife.

There was something else though, another look on her face he wasn’t quite sure of. She looked nervous. Jumpy. Though he guessed it was to be expected under the circumstances, it somehow made him feel uncomfortable.

He needed her to be strong. To be the Tasha she’d always been. Resilient. Headstrong. Loving. A woman who didn’t demand the emotional attention from him most women would. He didn’t go in for all that crap, but even if he wanted to give it to her, he didn’t know how.

He didn’t like to see her like this. He could see her vulnerability but he didn’t know what to do to make it better. So he did what he did best when he felt unsure. He got angry.

Instead of smiling at Tasha and comforting her like he wanted to do, he snarled, letting his anger show in every word he spoke. ‘Tasha, what the fuck is going on? One minute I’m sitting in my cell feeling jack arse sorry for meself, then the next thing, I’m being told something’s happened to Ray-Ray, but they don’t quite know what, or rather, they won’t tell me what. So now I’m asking you. What the fuck is going on?’

Tasha swallowed. She could see Freddie was frightened because that always made him angry, but then so was she.

‘I don’t know exactly what happened but I know there was a fire and Ray-Ray was in the house. That’s all I know. They’re operating. It doesn’t look good. They don’t know if he’s going to pull through.’

Freddie’s powerful muscular shoulders visibly slumped. His head couldn’t get round it. How was this possible? He’d sent them up to Bradford to be safe. He had to find out if it was an accident. A faulty switch. A gas explosion. Something. Anything.

Nobody had known where they were or at least not many people, but the thought that he could be somehow responsible for his son lying on an operating table tightened Freddie’s stomach. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of a revenge attack because of something he’d done to someone. There was a lot Freddie Thompson could live with but that just wasn’t one of them.

‘Where were you Tash? Where the fuck were you when this was happening because clearly you weren’t at home?’

Tasha paused. She knew Freddie was going to ask this question, but for some reason she hadn’t prepared an answer. She could feel her mouth moving. Twitching to say something, but unable to find the words. Anything she did say would sound like a lie because it would be. And the truth? She just couldn’t say, because her husband could never find out the truth.

Freddie stared at his wife. At forty-four years old she was stunning. Even with her messy hair and crumpled designer clothes, her beauty still shone through. Her skin was pale and lineless. Her face held the darkest, yet softest blue eyes and her lips were full and red.

When he looked at her, he found himself being overtaken by an uncontrollable jealousy. The thought of another man even looking at her made him rage violently inside.

When he’d first met her she was hostessing in a nightclub but he’d put an immediate stop to that. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else lusting after her. His jealousy, however, hadn’t done her any favours. It hadn’t given her the romantic weekends and bunches of flowers, though of course she’d always had access to as much money as she’d wanted. That much was a given. What his jealousy had done was make him treat her harshly. Almost as if it was her fault it made him feel that way. Although he hadn’t used his fists as most of his friends did with their other halves, he’d hurt her in other ways; with verbal punches and put downs which were as harsh and cruel as any physical blow.

He’d shot her down when he knew she hadn’t deserved it. Humiliating her in front of friends and other well-known faces because of his seething jealousy. And the more he’d done it, the angrier he’d got with himself. And that anger had in turn made him do it more. He hadn’t wanted to but he hadn’t been able to stop himself either.

Tasha was smart and he hoped she was smart enough to know that even with all the verbal, he loved her. He’d lay down his life for her. In fact, he’d lay down her life too if she ever thought about cheating or leaving him. All in the name of love, of course.

He knew every part of her so well and as much as his main focus was on Ray-Ray, he continued to look and wait for an answer, because he knew she was up to something. Problem was, he didn’t know quite what.

‘Mrs Thompson?’ The surgeon broke the atmosphere, and the relief even from the prison officers was palpable.

‘I’m her husband, so you can speak to me. Anything you’ve got to say to her. Tell me mate.’

The surgeon looked at Freddie before letting his eyes wander down to the handcuffs, staring at them with clear disdain on his face. Freddie sneered as he leaned in towards the surgeon, causing the man to blush and take a step back.

‘Never been chained up before doc? You don’t know what you’re missing.’

‘Freddie!’ Tasha shot her husband a stare as she tried to take hold of his hand, both for support and to try to calm him down, but she found it being pushed away by the slightly taller guard.

‘You know the rule, Mrs Thompson. No physical contact.’

Ignoring and turning her back on the prison officer, Tasha spoke to the surgeon, afraid of what she might hear.

‘Sorry darlin’ but don’t mind Freddie, as you can imagine it’s very difficult for both of us. Is our son okay?’

Bristling, and unnerved now by Freddie’s continuing hostile stare, the surgeon tried to create a professional environment once more. He cleared his throat and directed his entire conversation to Tasha. ‘We’ve just finished the operation and we’ve taken him to intensive care now.’

‘But he’s going to be okay though Doc?’ The tone in Freddie’s question frightened Tasha into answering her husband before the surgeon managed to. She’d never heard him sound so vulnerable.

‘Of course he is; why wouldn’t he be?’

‘He’s got some extensive injuries. Look Mrs Thompson, shall we go somewhere and sit down, so I can explain properly what’s happened to your son?’

Agitated now, Tasha snapped at the surgeon. ‘I don’t need to bleeding sit down, ain’t nothing wrong with me. Just tell me what’s going on.’

‘Okay well, we removed his clothes under anaesthetic and he’s sustained a number of burns, unfortunately including burns on his face, which will probably be quite disfiguring.’

‘Oh my God.’

‘But he’s been lucky.’

Freddie growled at the surgeon. ‘You call being turned into the fucking elephant man lucky?’

‘I know there’ll be a lot of adjusting but he really is lucky. It could’ve been much worse. He’ll be in intensive care for the next few days and after that we’ll reassess the situation. The other thing I …’

The black beeper attached to the surgeon’s scrubs sounded loudly. Glancing at it, he quickly started to rush away down the corridor. ‘I’m sorry I have to go. I’ll come back later to explain anything else, but he’s in good hands and the intensive care nurses will be able to answer any of your questions.’

Part of Tasha wanted to be angry and call after the doctor for leaving without telling her all the facts, but the frightened part of her was happy to let him go; relieved for just one more moment where she could pretend everything was going to be fine.

Standing in the side room with Freddie and the prison officers, Tasha wrapped her arms around her waist as if somehow it would stop the wailing sound that seemed to be resonating from every pore in her body. The only thing she could see through the tears was Ray-Ray, lying unconscious, almost unrecognisable in the mummifying bandages.

The smell of Ray-Ray’s burnt skin held thick in the air. Sweet, coppery and nauseating. Tasha was unable to look at her son’s face, not wanting to see the bandages, knowing the sweet, beautiful face she kissed only a few hours ago was no longer there. In its place was the face of a stranger.

She looked down his body and saw what looked like metal clamps sticking out of his leg.

‘Why has he got them?’

The nurse smiled sympathetically and spoke in barely a whisper. ‘His shin was splintered in three places. The surgeon needed to …’

She was cut off abruptly by Freddie. ‘Splintered? What … what are you talking about? I thought he was caught up in a fire.’

‘He was, but he also has damage to his leg.’

‘Can a fire cause that?’ As Tasha said it she knew it sounded ridiculous, but rather ridiculous than let the thought which was slowly coming into her head creep in.

Freddie turned to Tasha, his face red. ‘Don’t talk fucking bollocks Tash. There ain’t no fire which breaks legs.’

The nurse looked at them kindly. ‘Didn’t the surgeon tell you? The fire didn’t actually cause any damage.’

‘But I don’t understand; he’s been burnt?’

‘Not by the fire Mrs Thompson. He only suffered smoke inhalation from that. His burns have been caused by acid. They’re chemical burns.’

It took Tasha only a moment. Only a slight pause, before she leapt at Freddie. She lashed out, throwing her arms everywhere and bringing them down into contact with Freddie’s powerful chest. She reined the blows down as the prison officers tried to pull Freddie away, but he stood firmly rooted to the spot, watching as his wife’s tears poured out and he allowed her to take her anger out on him. And although the punches didn’t hurt on a man like him, the physical contact made him feel slightly better, although his expression stayed the same. Cold, hard and unmoving.

Tasha stopped, exhausted and her speech was laboured as she hissed at her husband. ‘This is your fault Freddie. The reason my son is lying here is because of you and your stupid, stupid business. Because of you his life is ruined. I will never forgive you for this. You hear me. Never!’ Tasha screamed out the last word then ran out of the private room, almost knocking into a group of student nurses.

In the corridor, she leant on the wall, breathing deeply, and welcoming the feel of the cool of the concrete seep through her shirt onto her skin.

‘Tash!’

She turned her head and saw Freddie being walked down the corridor the other way, being taken back to the prison van. He shouted to her as he was led away. ‘Tash, I’ll sort it. I’ll get whoever did this … I promise. Tash, don’t ignore me. For fuck’s sake, I didn’t want this to happen did I? Tasha? … Tasha? … I’ll call you, okay?’

Tasha Thompson didn’t bother looking at her husband. It was the first time she’d ever turned her back on him, and both of them knew it. As she walked into the July sunshine she looked up, enviously watching a single plane cut through the crystal-blue sky. She’d no idea where it was going but that didn’t matter; if she was given half the chance she’d be on it, because it was going somewhere. Somewhere other than here and somewhere would’ve been good enough for her.

Getting out her phone she sighed, knowing today was a turning point. Today, Tash’s life had changed forever.

‘Hello, it’s me.’

‘Hey, is everything all right?’

The voice on the other end was warm and kind, making the guilt Tasha had disappear. Despite what she’d thought earlier, she needed him now more than ever. His voice always had that effect on her. It always made her ask herself how could something this good be wrong?

‘No, not really it’s …’

Tasha trailed off, unable to explain and not wanting to break down into tears.

‘Listen, don’t try to tell me now. Shall I come and pick you up? Are you still at the hospital? We could have a coffee or something.’

Tasha paused then quickly said, ‘Yes, okay, I’d like that. I’m at the entrance but I can’t go far in case he wakes up. I want to be here when he comes round.’

‘I’ll jump in the car now. I’ll only be ten minutes. And sweetheart, try not to worry.’

As Tasha put the phone down, Arnold smiled to himself as he got his car keys out. He liked her. She was perfect. Just perfect.