Читать книгу Jade Goody: How It All Began - My First Book - Jade Goody - Страница 6

This is the second of Jade Goody’s books about her life – something, even before she was fatefully diagnosed with cancer in August 2008, she had always planned as a precious record for her two beloved sons Bobby and Freddy. Jade brought me on board as her ghost-writer to help her pen an honest account of her colourful upbringing – to show her boys just how much their mum had achieved and to serve as an inspirational reminder that success can be built on hard work, persistence and inner strength.

The Jade I got to know was more open, honest and candid than any celebrity I’d ever met (and probably ever will again). Unique, strong, brave, big-hearted and extremely vulnerable, Jade wore her heart firmly on her sleeve in a way no-one else, especially those in the public eye, would dare. And despite the fact that by the time we embarked on her first book in 2006 she was one of the most famous people in the UK (with three reality TV shows under her belt and having sold more perfumes than J-Lo and David Beckham) there was never an ounce of the diva about her.

Most celebs want things done on their terms or not at all. But rather than making me trek all the way to her place in Essex whenever we worked on her autobiography, Jade insisted on driving herself to my house. Of course, Jade being Jade she was usually late – and I’d get the inevitable phone call telling me that the sat nav in her car had sent her ‘the wrong way’ (this happened to her a lot – she was stopped by police for driving the wrong direction down Oxford Street once) or that she’d spent the afternoon searching for a missing budgie that Jack had bought her as a present (turned out she’d left the window of her conservatory open). One evening I got a knock on my door and opened it to see her standing there in fits of giggles because she couldn’t park her car so we had to leave it in the middle of my road and hope none of my neighbours needed to go anywhere. But no matter what time she eventually arrived, Jade was always full of apologies and would stay working with me for hours (in between making calls to her babysitter – mum Jackiey or ex-boyfriend Jeff – to check that her little boys had brushed their teeth and gone to bed on time). She might have been known for having a big mouth, but Jade was super-polite at all times. Manners were of utmost importance to her – something she instilled in her sons.

She would always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and would courteously ask if it was okay for her to use my bathroom when she needed the loo. Jade visited my house loads, but wouldn’t ever accept anything other than a glass of water – this was typical of Jade, she didn’t want to be a burden.

When Jade was around you certainly always knew about it and my flatmates would chuckle to themselves whenever she poked her head round the door with her trademark grin. At the time of writing the first book together, Jade: My Autobiography, she had just opened her salon, ‘Ugly’s’ in Essex, which meant she often turned up in her beautician’s uniform. This was way too short (and tight) for her but somehow she pulled it off. Working with so many beauty treatments meant Jade was a guinea pig for new products – and regularly appeared with different-coloured skin or excitedly pointing to a ‘wrinkle-free’ patch on her forehead. Once she turned up with extremely unusual eyebrows – ‘I’ve had them tattooed!’ she cackled. But Jade could get away with it. One of the enduring things about her – and the thing most people remarked on when they met her – was how very pretty she was in the flesh. Flawless skin and jaw-dropping features made her incredible to look at, and when she lost all her hair from chemo she still looked arrestingly beautiful.

Jade’s life story was so eventful – a film-maker couldn’t have dreamed it up. She’d sit on my bed recalling the things that had happened to her – growing up with a drug addict dad who was in and out of prison, Jade was then forced to care for her mum after an accident left her paralysed. But Jade still managed to find a funny side. ‘I remember when I first got pubes. I was so proud of them. Then my mum leant over the bath with a razor and shaved them into a heart shape!’ As with her later years, nothing was without drama. Jade sold her bed to a neighbour for £25 aged seven and was arrested for shoplifting in Selfridges when she was a teenager (she got caught because she went back to ask for carrier bags for her stolen goods). Then the ups and downs just kept on coming – a drug addict boyfriend, being sent into foster care, buying her first designer outfit (‘I got this white Moschino outfit with little stick men and women all over it. I thought it was the nuts.’) It was only in 2002 that her colourful existence became part of our world too. And if she hadn’t been saved in the first week of Big Brother (she was up against Lynn in the public vote but was chosen by her fellow housemates to stay) we would never have experienced the delights of this unique breed of celebrity.

Sitting in my bedroom reliving her experiences, she was a floodgate of emotions. Hiding behind a pillow and shrieking at the mention of the ‘BJ with PJ’ under the sheets in Big Brother 3, tears streaming down her face when recalling stories from her childhood, beaming with pride when talking of her sons, giggling when I pointed out that she was saying words wrong (she spoke about drinking Absinthe and called it ‘Absiss’) and nervously picking the buttons off my duvet when approaching a subject that made her feel uncomfortable, like having to defend her mum’s unconventional behaviour. One of the sweetest things about Jade was what a complete prude she was – she would go all red whenever I asked her about sex and revealed she was one of the last girls at her school to lose her virginity. Jade would never dream of flaunting her sexuality and she was always a one-man woman. All her boyfriends (of which there were only a few) had to woo Jade like a proper lady – because that’s what she was.

She also had a brilliant singing voice – something I still can’t quite get my head around. The fact that she won Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes in 2006 somehow went under the showbiz radar – but for Jade it was one of her proudest achievements. ‘People in the audience were cheering and clapping, I couldn’t believe I’d won!’ Jade was also immensely chuffed when she created her perfumes – ‘Ssh’ and ‘Controversial’ – because it was something she’d genuinely put her heart and soul into. ‘Some people thought I’d had it all done for me. But I worked so hard getting it right,’ she told me at the time. ‘The most amazing thing was when I smelt people walking past me in the supermarket and they were wearing my perfume. The scent of Jade Goody. Who’d have thought it?!’

Jade had so many obstacles in her life but she tackled everything head on, with courage and honesty. The day after her eviction from Celebrity Big Brother in 2007, she called me in tears (I was shopping at the time and couldn’t work out who was on the phone at first because she was so hysterical). Despite what many accused her of afterwards, Jade’s primary concern was, as always, her two boys. She was distraught about what might happen to them if she became a national hate figure. As was trademark Jade, she’d acted first and thought later, and immediately wanted to apologise for any offence she’d caused. It would have been far easier for her to hide away and hope the furore would die down, but Jade never did take the easy route.

In her 27 short years Jade Goody experienced more ups and downs than a rollercoaster at Southend – yet no matter how low she was she always managed to see the funny side. It’s the memory of her beaming smile and that familiar ripple of infectious laughter that I, like most people, will remember forever.

When this book concludes, at the end of 2008, she was still looking, as she always did, on the bright side. No one – not least Jade herself – could have imagined that the cancer would spread in such an aggressive way and that this young woman, who’d fought against the odds and won so many times before, would be robbed of her life at only 27 years old.

‘I’m fighting for my life,’ she told the Sun newspaper in August 2008. ‘I am going to fight the damn thing every step of the way because I have two beautiful boys who are my world. But I have to be realistic and face the possibility that I may not live to see them grow up.’ She was determined to shield Bobby and Freddy from the horrors of what she called ‘the C word’ – a resolution she maintained throughout most of her illness. ‘I can’t face telling my boys because they are so young’ she said, ‘They think mummy has tadpoles in her tummy.’

A few weeks later, Jade underwent a gruelling eight-hour operation involving a radical hysterectomy to remove her womb, meaning the mother-of-two would be unable to have any more children. She was left in tears after doctors told her that her cancer had spread to the sac around her abdominal organs. But in typical Jade style she resolutely told reporters: ‘My odds of surviving are 50/50…but I’m clinging on by my fingernails!’

As if Jade hadn’t been dealt enough of a blow, in September 2008 her 21-year-old boyfriend Jack Tweed was sentenced to 18 months in prison for attacking a teenager with a golf club back in December 2006. Jade told a friend: ‘This couldn’t have come at a worse time. I’m in bits. I’m devastated. Jack is my rock.’

No matter what Jade was going through, her utmost priority remained to shelter her beloved sons from the harshness of the real world. She told them Jack had gone to Africa with Tarzan ‘saving the lions and tigers’. And as always, she even managed to find some amusement in her visits to see Jack in prison. ‘The funniest thing is that everyone in there either knows me or my mother personally!’ she laughed in a magazine interview. ‘He said to me, “Thank God the top dog in here used to go to school with you”. And he told me the man dishing up the food was a friend of my dad’s!’

In October 2008, painfully aware that she was going to lose her hair to chemotherapy, Jade bit the bullet and chopped off her long locks. ‘I’m preparing myself for the day it falls out,’ she shrugged bravely. ‘But I’m not going to wear a wig. I’m going to look like an egg head soon – and if everyone knows I’m bald, what’s the point?’ In a magazine photoshoot showing off her ‘new look’ she joked, ‘I look like Henry the hedgehog’.

Three weeks into her first six-week bout of treatment, Jade was clearly suffering – but she still did her damndest to look on the bright side. A text sent to me on 21st October was written with characteristic humour:

‘Thanks for your text, not been that well, it is all catching up on me. On my third week now and I feel shit, on top of all the treatment I am going through my change – fifty year olds go through this. I cant sleep, waking up soking [sic] wet. I am a mess. Being put on HRT tablet til I am 50 ha ha got to laugh, hope you are ok xx’

Despite being separated from Jack, Jade insisted she was standing by her man, but joked that her only complaint was his fading tan. ‘Jack looks a bit pasty!’ she remarked when asked about him in an interview. ‘He likes using sun beds and there aren’t any in prison.’ Jade then made a permanent declaration of her love by tattooing his name on her wrist.

As December drew close Jade was determined to ensure her two young sons remembered what could be their last Christmas together. Beaming from ear to ear, she took five-year-old Bobby and four-year-old Freddy to Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland for ice-skating, fair rides and a trip to meet Father Christmas. As onlookers gawped, Jade laughed, joked and pulled funny faces to amuse her sons, hiding any sign of the trauma going on in her life. ‘I appreciate everything I have so much more now,’ she said afterwards. ‘I need to live’.

It was only during an emotional TV interview on This Morning that it became clear just how unprepared Jade was for what lay ahead. Jade told presenter Philip Schofield that she preferred to stay in the dark about the exact details of her illness. ‘I haven’t done any research or anything and I don’t want to know,’ she said. ‘I only know what I need to know, which is “this is my medication and this is that, this is when I get better”. I don’t want to know the ins and outs because it’s too much for my brain to take it in. It really is.’ She also confessed that as always, she was finding it hard to ask for help. ‘I have always been the person who is the “looker afterer” so to ask people to help me is very difficult,’ she told TV viewers. And when asked about Jack, she replied: ‘He’s my rock. I just want a cuddle.’

Loyal Jade was also intent on trying to honour her agreement to appear in pantomine in Lincoln. But despite dutifully attending rehearsals as the Wicked Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Jade wasn’t able to appear on stage after all. Unable to shake off a flu virus, she spent part of New Year’s Eve in hospital. ‘I was only in hospital for a few hours,’ she valiantly insisted afterwards. ‘I felt well enough to see in the New Year with my sons and my friend Kevin Adams and his family. We had food, had a singsong, then watched Elton John’s gig on TV.’

But by the start of 2009, Jade was forced to face the harsh reality of her illness. In a heart-wrenching interview she told the Daily Mirror how she screamed when she noticed her hair had begun to fall out – and that in three days it was virtually gone. ‘I stood there screaming until my mum came running. When she saw the hair on the floor, she gave me a cuddle and started rubbing my head the way she did when I was a baby. All of a sudden handfuls more hair was peeling off in her hands. I was wailing and screaming. It was awful.’

And although she tried desperately to hide the hair loss from Bobby and Freddy, one morning she rushed downstairs without her headscarf and they saw her bald head. ‘When Bobby saw me he said “What’s happened Mum?” He looked so worried and started crying. It was devastating but I waited until he wasn’t around and then I broke down myself.’

As usual, Jade’s attitude was to pick herself back up and get on with it. ‘I don’t want kids to be embarrassed by my baldness,’ she announced, ‘I don’t want them to think that if you’re bald you need to hide away.’ So Jade decided that rather than face ‘people staring at me in Tesco’ she would go public with her baldness and courageously unveiled her new appearance, alongside a moving piece written in the News of the World by her former CBB housemate, journalist Carole Malone. Carole wrote: ‘I tell her she looks lovely and she laughs nervously: “Do I really?” It’s bad enough that this disease can kill you, but it eats away at your confidence, your looks and your sexuality as well.’

With searing honesty, Jade told the News of the World: ‘I’ve lost my hair, chucked up every single night. I’m on four bags of medication, and I can’t even walk upstairs anymore,’ before adding, ‘I’ve been through so much without Jack and I’m nervous that when he comes out he won’t be able to handle it.’

But when the time came to show her boyfriend Jack what she looked like without hair, Jade was as matter of fact as ever. ‘I let him have a little peek at my bald head and he welled up,’ she recalled. ‘He told me it was the first time I have actually looked ill. No matter what kind of bloke you are with, every woman wants their man to fancy them. And of course, that worries me. I think “There’s no way he’s going to fancy me like this, no way!”’

Jack later said, ‘It was a shock. I just wanted to hold her and make sure she was alright. But she’s always the same Jade, just with no hair. It still feels the same when I kiss her, I still fancy her. There’s nothing different.’

Much to their delight it was reported that Jack was set for early release, but Jade still insisted he continued to keep up appearances with her little boys. She told a newspaper, ‘He’s been on the phone to them from prison pretending he’s in Africa fighting lions and tigers. He doesn’t care that there are seven lags behind him in the queue taking the mickey. He does sweet things for the boys – and me. On Mother’s Day he buys presents for me and says they’re from them. Their own dad has never even done that.’

On the prospect of seeing him again, Jade said, ‘We’re both going through the hardest times of our lives, but we’re doing it on our own. So if this doesn’t make us stronger and work as a couple, nothing will. Maybe we’ll be like Angelina and Brad!’

Determined not to let her illness get the better of her, in January 2009 Jade took her mum Jackiey and sons Bobby and Freddy for a short break in the sunshine before her chemotherapy sessions resumed. But while she managed a smile, self-conscious Jade, who usually wears a bikini on holiday, covered up in a swimsuit and Fifties-style swimming hat to cover her bald head. When her mum spoke out about her feelings in a Sunday newspaper, the distress of Jade’s illness seemed all the more real. Tearful Jackiey broke down and said: ‘Please don’t let her die’, sobbing that when she looked at Jade, she wondered how she became so brave. ‘She’s like a tigress protecting her babies,’ she told the People newspaper. ‘She’s fighting this cancer so hard because she doesn’t want to leave those two little boys.’

On 28th January 2009 Jade finally received some good news – Jack Tweed was released from prison and their passionate reunion was watched gleefully by the nation’s press. Speaking excitedly afterwards she said: ‘It was fantastic to see Jack. We went straight to Toys R Us and Jack bought a monkey for Freddy and a crocodile for Bobby – the animals he told the boys he’s been looking after in Africa – then we picked them up from school together. They were so pleased to see him!’

Sadly, the couple’s reunion was to be short-lived – as a condition of his early release, Jack was tagged and required to stay at home with his mother after 7p.m. Not before topping up his tan first, though. ‘He spent his first full day out of jail at a tanning shop’, laughed Jade.

And for Jade, things were to get increasingly worse. After suffering extreme pain in her bowel, on February 3rd 2009 the 27-year-old was rushed to hospital in an attempt to ease the pain. It was then that doctors delivered the devastating news that her cervical cancer had spread and was now incurable. Jade said later: ‘I couldn’t breathe when they told me. I just screamed and cried and said, “Can’t anyone do anything to help me!” Because a few weeks ago when they first told me the chemo hadn’t worked they said it didn’t have to be the end. I know they’ve done everything they can to help me and I’m grateful. But I really thought I might be OK.’

In an interview a few weeks after the news, Jade touchingly described about how Jack took the prognosis. ‘He was just sobbing; we laid on the bed together. He said he couldn’t believe it and that he would find all these remedies for me. He’s been on the computer ever since looking for all these medicines I can take. But I don’t want them. He even wanted me to go to America to take them but I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to spend too much time away from Jack and my children. If the treatment out there didn’t work and I died I’d have lost that time.’

Her mum Jackiey told reporters: ‘No mum wants to bury her daughter and I’m determined it’s not going to happen. Jade and I are praying for a miracle.’

It wasn’t quite the proposal he’d planned (Jade said, ‘When I visited Jack in jail he’d told me he had a fantastic idea for a way to propose. He said he wanted to take me to the seven wonders of the world and ask me to marry him at each of them’) but on the eve of Valentine’s Day, Jack Tweed popped the question to his girlfriend at her hospital bedside. A day later, they exchanged rings by the Thames in London. Jack got down on one knee, as his frail fiancée looked on happily from her wheelchair. Jade told friends, ‘I was over the moon. I love Jack with all my heart and I want to be his wife more than anything in the world. And I will be. He’s devastated but he’s really trying to hold it together for me. But as soon as he found out I was going to die he just said, “Right then, we’re getting married. You’re a special woman, I love you and I would be honoured to call you my wife. And I don’t care if it’s just for a few weeks.”’

In spite of her weak condition, Jade’s wedding dress was now her top priority. On Sunday 15th February 2009 a gaunt but happy Jade Goody – her fiance Jack devotedly pushing her in her wheelchair – visited Harrods in London’s Knightsbridge where she found what she described as ‘the most beautiful dress.’ The gown – a cream and ivory exclusive Uranio dress from the Pronovias 2009 collection by Manuel Mota – was made of silk mikado and had a classic design with a high neckline, a V-back and a full skirt with box pleating. On hearing that Jade was in his store, Harrods boss Mohamed Al Fayed announced, ‘That’s my wedding present to you two.’

Wasting no time, Jade summoned her five closest friends to her bedside to plan the wedding she’d always wanted. Jade’s best friend Kate Jackson recalled: ‘Jade said to us: “I’m getting married and I want you to be bridesmaids”. Then she started flinging out random orders about what we had to do for the preparations.’ Kate told the Mirror: ‘Jade always says “Don’t worry, everything will be all right”. Some days she is in incredible pain, but her first thought is to comfort others. There are so many people who want to see her but whenever they break down she just tries to make them feel better.’

Jade said: ‘I’m so looking forward to being a bride. And I want to walk towards my groom, just like any other young woman would on what is meant to be the best day of their lives.’ With that, the Goody/Tweed wedding machine was in full motion. Undeterred by her illness, Jade spent the next few days sending out instructions from her hospital bed, using her laptop to ensure everything was going to be perfect, right down to the last detail.

Husband-to-be Jack spoke publicly for the first time about her condition and quietly remarked: ‘I would chop both my arms off just to make her okay again.’ Jade, as usual, continued to try and make light of her situation. ‘The operation has left me with a massive scar,’ she told readers of one magazine. ‘It goes from my lady bits, right up to my bra. It makes me look like I’ve got two belly buttons!’

The media was in overdrive anticipating what was to be the most talked about wedding of the decade. Jade’s story had touched even the coldest of hearts – and ironically, in her final few weeks, she became more famous than she could ever have imagined. US talk show hosts Oprah Winfrey and Larry King began a bidding war for Jade’s first overseas interview, while newspapers, magazines and TV companies in the UK threw thousands of pounds into the pot in a bid to feature the wedding. Jade’s aim, as it had always been, was to earn as much money as possible to provide for her two sons. More focused than ever, she carefully calculated that she would be able to build up enough funds to ensure that Bobby and Freddy would remain at their private school until they are 18. Jade said defiantly, ‘I know people think I’m betraying my roots by sending them to a private school, but I want them to have the very best chance in life. And that’s what my money is for. What’s the point of everything if I can’t do that for them?’

The drama and tension around Jade’s big day was building by the minute, with newspapers reporting on her heartache over the fact that due to her fiance’s prison tag and curfew, her wedding night would be spent alone. But a day later it was announced that, like everyone else in the country, the government was also moved by this sad event. Justice Minister Jack Straw intervened, lifting a curfew on Jack Tweed so the couple could stay together for one night after the ceremony. Mr Straw said it was an exceptional case. ‘It is crucial that offenders are treated equally within the rules regardless of the publicity surrounding their case but I was satisfied that it was reasonable to allow this.’ Prime Minister Gordon Brown welcomed the decision, saying: ‘I think everybody is sad at the tragedy that’s befallen Jade Goody. Everyone who suffers cancer has the thoughts of me and I think the whole country over what they’ve got to go through.’

Jade and Jack were over the moon. Something Jack, on a trip to the tailor with his mates to be fitted for wedding suits, seemed to take a bit too literally – when he was photographed mooning at paparazzi. ‘I was so embarrassed when I saw those pictures,’ snapped Jade in an interview just before the wedding – illustrating that her relationship with Jack was still as feisty as it had ever been. ‘It wasn’t the right circumstances for him to be doing that, there I was lying in hospital and he was flashing his bum with his mates at the tailor’s. It was ridiculous, he’s 21, nearly a husband – was I flashing my tits at 21?’ But Jack retorted good-naturedly, ‘Hey, what about you on Big Brother? You got your kebab out!’ At which Jade couldn’t help but laugh.

Jack’s mates had further plans to embarrass him. Dressed in a white bra and women’s underpants, a sheepish Jack Tweed was snapped leaving his mother’s house on the morning of his stag do. He was joined by friends who were also dressed in women’s underwear, as they made their way to the Down Hall Country House Hotel where the wedding was to take place. Meanwhile, a giggling Jade stepped out with her bridesmaids, all of whom were wearing bald caps on their heads – ‘We’re all egg heads now!’ she laughed.

On Sunday, February 22nd Jade sat in her suite at Down Hall having her makeup carefully applied while barking orders to people around her about what needed to be done. She was resigned to the fact that she would be in constant pain – even the smallest movements caused her to flinch – but this was her day and she wasn’t going to let anyone spoil it. Having flown in on a helicopter the night before (‘It’s something I’ve always wanted since I was a little girl’) her wedding dress was fitted with painkillers so that the brave bride could walk down the aisle.

200 guests, including Antony Costa from Blue, Jamelia and husband, Davina McCall and Richard and Judy had all been gathering since 11.45a.m. marvelling at the flower arrangements that had been provided by Sir Elton John’s florist. They might have planned the wedding in only nine days but Jade and Jack had been flooded with offers of help and financial assistance from well wishers. At 12.45p.m. harpists signalled the start of ceremony and Jade, escorted by her 70-year-old granddad John Craddock, beamed as she walked down the aisle while guests tried their best to fight back tears. In typical Jade style the ceremony was full of laughter and when Jack was asked if he would take her as his wife, Jade joked ‘Are you sure?’

Repeating words movingly crafted by Bishop Jonathan Blake, Jade told Jack, ‘I love you forever and without reserve. When I see you I feel well again’, before turning and telling the congregation that she had to take off her Christian Louboutin shoes because her feet hurt. As Jack put the ring on her finger she giggled nervously. ‘You’re clumsy and funny but I love you and I want to marry you’, Jack said. The pair then made a pledge to light a candle every year on this day – him on earth and her in heaven – before Jade’s two little boys ran over and flung their arms around their mum’s neck. The boys helped carry their mother’s train as she and her new husband made their way out of the church to a standing ovation.

At the reception, Jade welled up as she read out a letter five-year-old Bobby had written – ‘Mummy and Jack, you both look lovely and Mummy you are the best Mummy in the whole wide world. Congratulations on your best day ever, love Bobby and Freddy.’ Before the ceremony Jade had given her sons friendship bracelets, telling them gently, ‘You should never take them off and if you’re sad, missing Mummy or upset, rub them and think of me.’ The boys were also delighted to receive two signed AC Milan shirts from their hero David Beckham – who said that he and Victoria wanted to help in any way they could.

The brave star somehow danced through her pain as pop trio Sugababes played live at her wedding reception. Her proud grandfather John told the Daily Mirror: ‘You should have seen her dancing with all those dolly birds. She was jumping up and down dancing like a jive bunny. It was brilliant. She had a wild time.’

Jade also enjoyed her first dance with Jack as husband and wife to Aerosmith’s wedding classic ‘Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’ and the loved-up pair fell into a passionate kiss as the crowd cheered wildly. Jade said ‘That last kiss felt like we were in heaven’ before reluctantly agreeing to go to bed at 10.30p.m. after just managing to stay awake for the fireworks display.

The nation was desperate to know how the wedding had gone, so Jade gave her consent for Jade’s bridesmaid Kelly Reading to speak on ITV’s This Morning. Kelly told Fern Britton and Philip Schofield that the Jade had given each member of her bridal party a ring engraved with the message ‘With you always’ and brought along a few slices of wedding cake as a gift from Jade.

The exertion of the wedding had taken its toll on poor Jade, and a few days later she left her home to go to a nearby hospice after suffering from hallucinations. Sucking on a pain relief stick and dressed in a loose white sweatshirt and trousers, Jade told photographers she would be ‘going away for a few days’. Her publicist Max Clifford told the waiting press she needed to get her pain medication adjusted. ‘She was in a very frail state,’ he said. The terrifying hallucinations, caused by her medication, left her ‘shaking like a leaf’ and asking ‘Where am I?’ But he stressed Jade had not gone into the hospice to die and was expected to return to her Essex home.

Despite her thoughts being now firmly on a christening for her young sons – ‘I want them to know about god so they can be close to me when I die’ – Jade faced yet another setback. In crippling agony she was rushed to hospital on March 2nd for an emergency operation to help relieve the ‘terrible pain’ in her stomach. Her publicist Max Clifford sadly told the press, ‘Her prognosis is two to four weeks – but there are worries she won’t make it to the weekend.’

On 25th February, Jade had gathered friends and advisors together to discuss her final chapter. Yet even then, the down-to-earth star was trying to continue life as normally as possible and she served up spaghetti Bolognese for everyone to eat. She told her confidantes that they needed to start planning her funeral – and when they protested she insisted, ‘No, we NEED to sort things out, I want to tell you what I want’.

Jade was also delicately planning how she would finally tell her boys. ‘I have a book that the hospital gave me. It’s about a badger that’s dying and it explains about heaven and where people go,’ she said. ‘So I have been reading that to my boys. I think my boys know that I am dying. Yeah, I think they do now. I’m going to read the book to them so they know what happens when I’m gone.’

Even in her last days, her friends told how they were astonished by her bravery. ‘Jade seems to be comforting us’, said her friend Jennifer Smith. ‘I was breaking down and she said “life’s for laughing, don’t get upset.”’

Even at her lowest ebb, Jade was determined to see the funny side of life. Throughout her illness, although she was really suffering, Jade found strength in her humour. Speaking about her death she told friends to look in the sky ‘not for the brightest star – but the fattest one. That’ll be me.’

Lucie Cave

March 2009

‘You could never be neutral about Jade Goody – when she first applied for Big Brother she provoked a mixed reaction amongst the team. Whatever anyone thought, the fundamental truth was that Jade was, in herself, hugely interesting and entertaining. Sure enough, when the show went on air she appalled and enthralled people in equal measure. I was the man who made the phone call that changed Jade’s life forever. When I called to say she was in the house I was met with a barrage of screams and the sound of her dropping the phone. As viewers, our relationship with Jade was as complicated as she was herself – we loved her in her vulnerable moments and loathed her when she puffed herself up to release some of the vitriol she was capable of. But through it all the overriding thing I remember about Jade is her courage. She wasn’t afraid to be who she was and, in the end, she faced her awful disease with characteristic bravery. She was a comet that shot through the dull, over PR-ed celebrity firmament and I will really, really miss her.’

Phil Edgar Jones

Executive producer, Big Brother

‘As a GP I have had a surge of women attending for smears. Some of these women have come up to nine years late for their smears and I have asked them “what led you to attend after all this time?” Most of them have talked about Jade. These women have not attended previously as they have been anxious about the procedure, and it has been a source of great satisfaction to me that they have felt a sense of relief at getting it over and done with and have realised it’s not such a big deal. The national screening programme for cervical cancer is a proven and effective way to prevent cancer and its essential that women take it up when offered. It is clear that Jade’s tragic story has touched many thousands of women in the UK in a very positive way and will almost certainly have a real impact on women’s health for many years to come.’

Dr Emma Naylor, General Practitioner

The ‘Jade Goody’ effect saw a massive increase in the number of women going for cervical screening, according to cancer specialists. A university in south-east London recorded 21 per cent more women coming for smear tests since Jade was diagnosed with cervical cancer in August 2008. For more information about coping with cancer, go to www.macmillan.org.uk