Читать книгу What every boy should know - Jan van Elfen - Страница 5

Since birth, you’ve grown up so quickly. At one stage your parents couldn’t keep up with buying you new clothes. Your shoes were always too small.

Then your body slowed down, probably somewhere between your tenth and twelfth birthdays. At the same time, compared with your early school days, you became more relaxed in nature and in your behaviour. This was when your body took a break and recovered some of the energy it had used for all that growing.

You don’t have to worry that your friends will outgrow you during this slower stage. This break lasts only a short time – about a year or two. It’s actually the lull before the storm of adolescent growth. Then you’ll grow so quickly that your legs will seem too long and your feet too big. You’ll also tend to feel clumsy.

During this phase of growth you’ll probably catch up to and outgrow the girls of your age. But growing taller is only one part of puberty.

You’re spurting hair everywhere

Quite suddenly, you notice your body growing larger and your muscles getting bigger. You’ll see signs of a fuzzy moustache on your upper lip. On other areas of your body that used to be smooth, fine hairs will start to appear – especially in your armpits and on the pubis (the bulge just above the penis). Some boys also start to grow hair on their chest. At first this hair is light and fluffy, but later it becomes darker and curlier.

Your voice breaks

Not all these changes are equally welcome. Some will embarrass you. For instance, when your voice breaks: one moment it’s deep and then suddenly, without warning, it changes to a high-pitched squeak. It is so unpredictable!

Don’t get mad if your family teases you a little about your voice. They know what’s happening and they don’t mean to be nasty. There is nothing to be ashamed of – it’s just a sign that you’re developing normally.

Your sexual organs

The most obvious change in your body is in your external sex organs. Male hair growth starts at about the time the testes and scrotum start to get bigger. At the same time, or soon after, the penis grows longer and thicker.

The internal sex organs also start to mature. The prostate gets bigger and sperm production starts – so much so that ejaculation (release of sperm) may occur at night. A “wet dream” normally happens without warning and could be another cause of embarrassment. Remember that this experience is an important milestone in puberty – and another sign that you’re becoming a man.

At this stage you may be confused by the different anatomical names we’ve used here. Perhaps you’re used to different names for your organs, such as “willy” and “balls” for “penis” and “testes”. Get used to these new terms, but don’t be ashamed of the names used by you and your family.

When you read the following chapter – about the anatomy and physiology of the sex organs – you’ll realise just how interesting and efficient your body is.

When does it all start?

It’s not possible to predict exactly when the changes of puberty will start. With most boys it starts at the age of 12, reaching a peak between the ages of 13 and 14. However, it’s not unusual for some to start ahead of their friends at 11 or even 10 years old. But some guys start to mature only in matric, or even after they’ve left school. There’s no point in worrying about when you’ll start “growing up”. Some babies get teeth and start crawling before others. But in the end, they all chew and walk equally well.

Even a slow starter eventually reaches maturity. Everyone develops at their own pace. For example, a boy may have a well-developed penis, but may not as yet have experienced an ejaculation of semen, while another, less-developed boy may ejaculate in his sleep or as a result of friction.

Because they are at such a self-conscious stage of life, adolescents worry a lot about their physical appearance, such as crooked teeth, protruding ears or slow growth. And since boys will be boys, attention will also be focused on the appearance of the penis.

Your breasts also grow

Another unwanted sign of puberty for a boy is the enlargement of his breasts. Don’t be scared that you’re turning into a woman if your nipples start itching and the areolas (surrounding brown areas) show some swelling. Compared with a girl, you’ll always be flat chested.

The slight enlargement of your breasts could, however, be uncomfortable and for a while even a slight bump or the chafing of a rough shirt against your nipples could be painful. You may also find that both breasts don’t harden or get bigger at the same rate.

This phenomenon proves yet again that physically everybody has something of the opposite sex in them. You will see, when we discuss the physiology of a woman, that the clitoris is related to the penis.

You may find that not only your breasts, but also your testes feel tender. You may consider wearing protection for your testes when taking part in sport. However, sports injuries to the testes are rare. If it makes you feel safer and more comfortable, you could wear tight, bikini-type underpants. These give enough protection without chafing your groin or stopping you from moving comfortably.

About being hairy

A good self-image is very important and many teenagers are obsessed with this. This can lead to sessions of self-examination in front of the mirror and comparing yourself with your friends, and is not restricted to the appearance of your sexual organs. There is, for example, the hair (or lack of it) on your chest.

Don’t get upset if you don’t develop hair on your chest. Masculinity doesn’t depend on a hairy chest and it isn’t measured by how thickly it grows. Like father, like son – physical characteristics such as your build and hairiness are largely hereditary and there isn’t much you can do about them.

Men are hairier than women – and some men have more hair than others. But you don’t have to feel inferior if you are not as hairy as your friends.

Like other physical changes in your teens, facial hair develops as a result of the working of testosterone, the male sex hormone. A heavy beard, however, is not a measure of masculinity. Growing or shaving off of beards depends on changing fashions. Perhaps you dream of having a moustache, sidies or a goatee beard, but you’ll have to be patient – your beard is still too sparse and you will have to wait until the full force of testosterone kicks in.

The shaving ritual

You can be sure that the long-awaited moment in every boy’s life – when you first draw a razor over your face – is just around the corner. When you eventually start shaving, it will be the start of a ritual that most men repeat every day of their lives. Growing up brings extra responsibilities and routine.

Initially you shouldn’t need to shave too often. Don’t be in a hurry to start. Once you do, your beard will quickly harden and grow faster. But don’t put off shaving until you look like your little sister’s teddy bear.

You’ve probably watched your dad and other men pulling faces in front of the mirror to ensure they get a smooth shave, without cutting themselves. There are two basic methods of shaving: dry and wet. The latter involves wetting the face, applying shaving cream and removing the beard with strokes of a razor. Twin-blade razors are very popular these days. For dry shaving, you need an electric razor that uses either batteries or mains power.

Don’t panic if you cut yourself during your first attempt at shaving. It’s easy to stop the bleeding with a piece of cotton wool or toilet paper. Practice makes perfect. Minor cuts may bruise deeper pimples, but this shouldn’t cause ugly or permanent scars.

Before you buy a dud razor, ask advice from your father or another older man. Who knows, perhaps you’ll even get one as a gift!

There is also a wide range of shaving foams to choose from: the kind applied with a brush, or shaving foam or gel in a can. To save money, many men use ordinary soap. It helps if you shower and wash your face thoroughly first to soften the beard. If you have sensitive skin, you’ll have to use a sharp blade and avoid ordinary soap and water, as this could irritate your skin. After shaving, it’s nice to rub aftershave lotion or cream on your face – if you can afford it!

This is also a good time to take responsibility for protecting your skin against sun damage. Despite being preventable, skin cancer is common in South Africa. You should use a sunscreen whenever you go out in the sun. And don’t think that skin cancer affects only fair-skinned people – everyone is at risk.

Acne

Usually, illness and other physical problems won’t play a major role in your life at this stage. But acne mars the lives of many young people. This is easy to understand, since three-quarters of them suffer from it during puberty. A shiny forehead is as typical of your age as the slowly hardening fluff on your face.

Very few teenagers regard acne as nothing to worry about. But sensitive teenagers feel particularly unhappy about it, because they think it looks like sores. It makes them feel even more self-conscious and inferior.

With most young people, pimples appear for a limited time and then go away again. Yet there are adults who still suffer from pimples. Teenagers should try to accept acne as a normal part of life, but if it causes so much unhappiness that it stops them leading a normal life, then something should be done about it.

Many silly stories have been spread about pimples. There is no truth, for example, in the rumour that they are caused by petting or dirty blood.

It’s no coincidence that pimples first appear during puberty. Testosterone is not only responsible for physical growth and sexual maturation, but also stimulates the sebaceous glands, causing them to secrete too much oil. Oil covers the skin and protects it, but too much can be a problem. Excessive secretion mainly occurs in the glands in the face, shoulders and back.

The ducts of the overactive oil glands and their pores (openings in the skin) then tend to enlarge. The build-up of oil and other impurities forms a comedo (blockage) in the gland’s duct. The oxygen in the air then causes the comedo to turn black – and you have a blackhead.

A deeper blockage forms a whitehead. Through the action of an enzyme (a substance that promotes chemical reactions), the skin oil becomes a free fatty acid which seeps into the skin layers at the surface when the glandular duct bursts as a result of the pressure caused by the blockage. This acid causes inflammation and the formation of pimples. So don’t believe pimples are caused by dirty blood or internal poisons. However, germs on your skin or fingers can infect the pimples, which then turns them into red, painful cysts.

Blackheads cause shallow, yellow pimples which heal without leaving scars, but whiteheads can leave scars if they’re not treated with care. Someone with pimples is often his own worst enemy, since he himself spreads them over his skin. Because pimples are so ugly and irritating, it is difficult to resist fiddling with or squeezing them. This, however, mostly leads to bruising and secondary infections which make pimples worse and cause scarring.

Please remember that pimples don’t leave any marks on the skin. It’s the bruising and infection that cause damage and leave permanent, ugly marks. Therefore, follow this golden rule: keep your fingers away from your face!

What normally happens is that acne disappears automatically in the late teens or early twenties. The pimples then vanish without leaving any marks, unless serious damage has been caused by infection and overenthusiastic home treatment, or if deep scars have formed. Should there be scars, the skin can be cleverly “shaved” smooth by a plastic surgeon, after the pimples have cleared up.

Here are a few more facts you should know about pimples:

An oily skin is hereditary. Those with this skin type should take early precautions by cleansing the skin regularly and gently.

Skin colour and gender do not affect skin type.

Acne does not mean there are impurities in the blood. Manufacturers of medicines who try, through advertising, to mislead the public into believing this, should be prosecuted.

Sport and other outdoor physical activities definitely do not make acne worse. Sweaty clothes should not, however, be worn for too long, and sporting activities should be followed by a bath or shower. Dirty clothes, especially those with a rough texture, could rub germs into the skin and aggravate acne, especially on the back and shoulders.

Dandruff makes acne worse. If you notice you have this condition, treat it together with your acne. Use a medicinal shampoo, for example, one that contains sulphur or coal tar.

With a girl, acne tends to get worse just before menstruation, because she has more progesterone in her blood. A doctor may prescribe a certain type of contraceptive pill that helps with acne. This pill cannot, however, be used by a boy, because it could cause feminine changes in his body.

No convincing evidence has been found that chocolate, nuts, fizzy cool drinks, oily foods, confectionery and too much milk and other dairy products such as ice cream have an adverse effect on acne. According to the latest research, however, not eating a balanced diet can cause raised levels of insulin, which can lead to excessive secretion by the sebaceous glands.

Emotions such as stress and depression don’t cause acne. Self-conscious acne sufferers could, however, eventually feel depressed and discouraged if their skin condition doesn’t clear up. This is the danger time when they should beware of prodding and pressing their pimples. Continually scratching the scab off a squeezed pimple slows healing and exposes it to secondary infection again.

Although people jokingly refer to “petting pimples”, acne has nothing to do with your love affairs.

But there is help available. There are in fact just two types of treatment for acne: the kind you can apply yourself, and that prescribed by a doctor. When treating acne at home, the following rules apply:

Cleansing the skin. The face and other affected parts of your body should be washed thoroughly but gently two to three times a day with soap and water. Use any good soap. The problem with certain “special” skin remedies is that they often dry out or irritate the skin.

Don’t scratch or squeeze pimples. There are germs under your fingernails that infect pimples. A “ripe” pimple may be gently squeezed out after you have thoroughly cleansed your hands and face with soap, water and disinfectant. To reduce bruising of the skin, place a small piece of clean tissue paper or cotton wool around your fingertips before you start.

Follow a balanced diet with enough fresh vegetables, fruit and vitamins, and avoid too much greasy food and sweets.

Wash your hair regularly to prevent oiliness. If you have dandruff, it should be treated.

Medical advice should be sought if acne persists or gets worse. If you have the kind of pimples that form large cysts, you should see a doctor. And once you have consulted the doctor, follow his or her advice exactly.

If home treatment doesn’t work and your pimples are getting you down, you should consult a doctor. If your problem is really bad, the doctor may refer you to a dermatologist (skin specialist). Medical treatment could include the following:

The careful and sterile drainage of pimples.

The prescription of antibiotics (oral and/or to be applied to the skin) on a long-term basis to reduce the formation of acid in the glandular ducts.

Vitamin A in a carefully prescribed dosage might help, but should only be taken for a limited period and under a doctor’s supervision. Remember that too much can be dangerous.

Ultraviolet radiation is used in special cases.

Hormone preparations are recommended for certain patients.

Removal of the top layer of skin is sometimes necessary to get rid of ugly scar tissue.

So there is good reason to feel positive. Acne is mostly a temporary condition. But it must not be neglected. If home treatment doesn’t work, a doctor’s help is always available. Even the most stubborn cases can be healed. The most important thing you can do is to keep your hands as far away from your pimples as possible.

The sweating business

Equally annoying is the whiff you’ll sometimes get from your armpits, groin and feet. Your family will probably notice it before you do, especially on a hot day if you forget to take off your sweaty clothes and socks. These new body odours are caused by secretions from the apocrine sweat glands that are situated only in the armpits, sex organs and soles of the feet. These secretions actually have only a faint smell, but it is unique to each person. Our sense of smell has generally become so weak that (unlike dogs) we are unable to distinguish between our own smell and that of others. When sweat is attacked by skin bacteria, the chemical reaction causes a faint smell. This results in the unpleasant odour of sweaty bodies and feet.

In the past, like most of your friends, you were probably not too keen on soap and water. Your mother no doubt had to check whether you had washed your ears, knees and heels properly. Now you’ll have to turn over a new leaf. You don’t want your friends to have to move upwind of you to avoid the smell of sweat or stinky feet. There’s nothing for it but to use soap and water regularly if you want to remain popular.

Apart from soap and water, you could also use a deodorant as an extra precaution against unpleasant body odours. Rather avoid the kinds described as “dry”, “extra dry” or “antiperspirant”. People with sensitive skins could react badly to concentrated chemicals that contract the pores (skin openings) of sweat glands. This could cause an irritating dermatitis (itchiness and redness) or painful little sores in the armpits.

And while we’re on the subject …

Now that you’ve started shaving and using deodorant and other toiletries, it’s time to talk to your parents about increasing your pocket money – if you are lucky enough to receive a weekly or monthly allowance and need to buy these items. If your family buys them for you, you should keep the rising cost of toiletries in mind and budget carefully.

Your body and posture

It takes a while to get used to your new body and more masculine appearance. At this time, many boys feel anxious about the rate at which they are growing, especially if they rapidly overtake their friends. Many try to make themselves less obtrusive by slouching. A bent back and drooping shoulders do not promote good posture and create a bad impression. Accept the build you have and walk briskly with a straight back. People are usually more aware of posture than build.

Speaking of good posture, remember that regular physical exercise is the best way to prevent drooping shoulders, a pigeon chest and grasshopper legs.

At the same time, you really should avoid lots of sweets and other fattening treats, since the body converts and stores them as fat, unless you’re very active. Who wants to be so fat that you have trouble climbing a flight of stairs or jogging up a slope?

That gnawing hunger

It is important to eat enough for your growth and energy needs, but you don’t have to go overboard. If you’re always hungry, eat fruit, nuts, dried fruit, cheese or milk rather than sweets, cake, pies, sandwiches or chips. It’s always a better idea to eat whole-wheat bread with cheese instead of white bread with jam. You should remember that fat teenagers usually become fat adults. Your family doctor can tell you about the ailments common to overweight people – from varicose veins and gallstones to diabetes and heart problems.

Never starve yourself in your quest for a good build. You should eat enough wholesome food like meat, eggs, grain and dairy products, vegetables and fruit three times a day. Eat to satisfy your hunger, not your greed. If you want to go on a diet, for weight loss or gain, be sensible. Ask the advice of your doctor, a dietician or the home economics teacher at your school.

Fast growers who worry about growing too tall can take heart from the fact that their rate of growth will slow down once the testes have made enough testosterone (male hormone).

There’s no need to fret about a skinny body either. If you’re not built for rugby, you can make your mark in another sport more suited to a lean, lithe build, such as soccer, athletics, tennis, volleyball, hockey, squash, swimming, cycling, karate or dancing.

Perhaps you’re worried about growing too slowly. You’re scared that you’ll remain short forever. It could be that your quick growth spurt still lies ahead, but if you’re going to remain short, you will have to learn to accept your appearance. It won’t help to place your faith in extra vitamins and power foods. Instead of being embarrassed about your size, cultivate your nimbleness and resourcefulness to compete with others. Some of the best Springbok scrumhalves over the years have weighed less than 65 kg. You don’t have to stand back for bigger boys when it comes to girls either. Lots of girls are quite short and like boys who don’t make them feel like dwarfs. Just think what Tom Cruise managed to achieve in spite of his lack of height!

Emotional changes

Just remember that family will probably always provide greater comfort and better advice than strangers. When you were small, who did you run to when you stubbed your toe? Who tucked you in so warmly on cold nights? Wasn’t it your mother – or perhaps your grandmother, aunty or older sister – who brought you up, who can read your mind like a book and often knows what you need even before you do? Who in fact loves you more or knows you better than anyone? Talk to her when you’re feeling unsure – about the clothes you want to wear, the birthday present you’re after or the girl you have your eye on.

But don’t forget about your father, or any other father figure in your life. He recognises your approaching manhood and is probably proud of it. He no longer always treats you like a child.

But sometimes it feels like a gulf has opened up between you.

Gone are the days when he lifted you onto his lap and told you stories. Gone too are the times you went camping together, or fishing. Nowadays his conversations with you are often warnings: “If you don’t study harder, you won’t pass this term,” or “Don’t let me catch you smoking.”

They are still interested in what you’re up to, but the awareness of your growing independence, means they do not want to interfere too much. When they warn you about riding your bicycle safely or studying harder, it’s because they are concerned about your safety and your future. Don’t take it as personal criticism.

When you’re moody, you’ll say things you don’t really mean. Afterwards you’ll feel like kicking yourself for being so rude. Rather ask for forgiveness the moment you realise you were wrong. Remember, your parents and care-givers work hard to look after the home and family and they are entitled to your respect. When children are too rebellious and parents are too proud to give in, it creates an unpleasant atmosphere and the parent-child relationship suffers. Psychologists call this situation the generation gap – where communication between the parent and child is nearly impossible. Please don’t let your defiance drives a wedge between you and your parents.

When your father (or father figure) reprimands you, rather say, “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.” This way, you can ease the situation and at the same time make them realise that you still need them and value their attention. For example, say, “When are we going fishing again?” Try to think of something you can do together.

When you are alone with your father, use the opportunity to have a man-to-man talk with him about things that bother you. What career does he think you should be looking at? How should you attract the attention of a cute girl? Does he think it’s okay to go out with a girl at your age and, if not, why not? Or you can ask his advice on how to improve your sporting skills.

Do you know how much your father will appreciate it if, in passing, you touch his arm or punch him playfully? Just to show him that your feelings haven’t changed and that you’re glad he’s your dad. Your mom will be delighted if you surprise her with a hug and a kiss. People shouldn’t share the same house if they never interact with one another. If you can help to create a more pleasant atmosphere at home, you will get on better with your parents – and probably find that they will cut you more slack.

But before this sermon gets too long, let’s rather talk about other interesting experiences in your life. Such as what exactly is happening to your body and what is causing your new interest in girls.